Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes or Harry Potter, they belong to Bill Watterson and J.K. Rowling, respectively.
Author's Notes: Ok I'd like to start out by saying I know this crossover has been done before. I decided to do my own version because, A: Most other versions died unfinished, and B: several of them weren't that well written to begin with. I can't promise neither of those things will happen here, but I'm going to try my best. I'm trying to be as true to both universes as possible, but I might have to take some small liberties here and there, starting with the fact that I've had to give Calvin a last name, there was just no way around it.
I also want to warn you that this does start out a little bit slow, this first chapter if it were a comic would be mostly "Xeroxed talking heads" as Bill Watterson put it. but I assure you it will pickup.
Enough of my rambling let's get the story started!
It was finally happening, the thing Calvin's father, Mr. Campbell had been dreading. He'd always known it was a possibility, he'd even warned his wife about it in what had been one of the most awkward conversations of his life. Yet somehow he managed to convince himself it wouldn't happen, even when the warning signs had started piling up.
Ever since Calvin was six it'd been clear that he was different, but there had really only been one or two incidents that couldn't be explained. Things had gotten worse as he'd gotten older. It started getting really noticeable when Calvin was about nine, and his father's firm had transferred him to England.
On the plane, the flight attendant had tried to make Calvin stow Hobbes in the overhead compartment. 'Spaceman Spiff' had shot her with his ray gun, in reality he'd just pointed his finger at her like a gun, but somehow it managed to send her flying out of coach. Fortunately no one else had seen what caused her to take such a tumble, and everyone was too busy tending to her to bother Calvin.
For a while after that it was business as usual, which meant many strange but explainable incidents. Then people began to occasionally see something orange moving out of the corner eye, not a stuffed tiger, a real one, sometimes a voice could even be heard, but when one looked again there would just be a toy.
Towards the end of their first year in England, the neighbors rottweiler had growled at Calvin once too often and been 'transmogrified' into a rat. After that they'd had to move out of the flat in London they'd been living in, and had to spend far more money than Mr. Campbell had wanted on a house in the country, from which he'd have to commute to work.
By the time Calvin was eleven it seemed the old stuffed tiger was completely gone, Hobbes was now, it seemed, one-hundred percent real, not just to Calvin, but to everyone. He walked, he talked, he pounced, he ate all the tuna in the pantry, and he made it very difficult to pretend nothing unusual was going on.
And now there was a witch at the front door. She was easily identified as a witch by her robes and pointed hat. That fact that a moment ago he'd seen her through the window, changing from a cat to a human was also a clue. "Mr. Campbell I presume?" She said when he opened the door. "My name is Professor Minerva McGonagall, I'm here about your son, Calvin."
"Of course." Mr. Campbell sighed, for a completely different reason than he usually sighed when someone said they were there about Calvin. "You'll be from that school then. What's it called, Hog- something? Anyway won't you come in? My wife was just making some tea, please, join us."
"Hogwarts, yes." replied Professor McGonagall, very surprised as she came in. "But how did you know? According to our information you and Mrs. Campbell are muggles."
"Muggles?" Mr. Campbell repeated motioning the witch towards a chair, "Honey! We have company!" he called into the kitchen. "It's finally happening!"
There was a small crash. "Everything's fine, just dropped a cup." Mrs. Campbell called back. "Just give me a minute to clean that up, and I'll be right out."
"Err, yes, that's what we call non-magical people." Professor McGonagall explained, still quite confused as to how these muggles seemed to know what was happening.
"I see. In America we say no-maj." Mr Campbell replied. "I'm afraid I still haven't fully mastered speaking UK English, and wizarding terms don't come up often. Anyway my wife is a 'muggle', but I, well, I don't have magic either, but I'm a... do you use the term squib here?"
"Yes we do." Professor McGonagall replied, relieved to finally know what was happening. "That explains it. For a moment I was worried there'd been some breach of the international statute of secrecy. I'm afraid whatever country they're from, wizards are notoriously bad at keeping track of squibs. An unfortunate number prefer to pretend they don't exist. A shocking attitude in this day and age if you ask me."
"True, true," Mr. Campbell nodded. "Fortunately my family had a rather progressive attitude about such things, although my brother did tease me a bit, and they don't visit often because they hate having to pretend to be muggles, but I digress."
Just then Mrs. Campbell came out with a tea tray. "Dear, this is Professor McGonagall." Mr Campbell told her as she set it down.
"Pleasure to meet you." said Mrs Campbell. "How do you take your tea?"
"Black is fine, thank you." Professor McGonagall replied. As Mrs. Campbell poured, Minerva couldn't help noticing there she'd brought five cups, presumably one of the extras was so Calvin could join them, but who was the other for? But stranger than that, on the tray next to a plate of biscuits(Cookies to the Americans), was a can of tuna. Perhaps it's some strange American custom, she thought as she accepted the offered teacup. "Now Mr. Campbell, before we talk to Calvin, you should tell me how much you've already told him."
"Well I haven't exactly told him anything yet." Mr. Campbell confessed. "I was sort of hoping he wouldn't be... you know? And by the time it became clear that he was, well, I didn't know what to say."
"I understand, it's a difficult situation you're in." said Professor McGonagall. "Obviously to tell him when there were still any doubts could do more harm than good, but the longer you wait the harder it gets."
"To be honest the problem isn't so much doubt, as it is denial." said Mrs. Campbell. "Really it's been obvious for some time now that Calvin isn't, if you'll forgive me putting it this way, normal."
"Yes, about that," said Mr. Campbell, sounding somewhat nervous. "Before we get to telling Calvin, there are some things about him we should tell you."
"Dear, never mind telling her about Calvin," interrupted Mrs. Campbell. "We should be telling her about-" Just then she was cut off by the sound of a screaming child running down the stairs.
"Mooooom! Daaaad! Hobbes is trying to eat me!" Calvin wailed as he ran in. Eleven year old Calvin looked much like a six year old Calvin. His hair was the same spiky yellow mess, he still wore a lot of striped shirts, but he had grown enough that shorts no longer touched his feet, now stopping about halfway between his knees and his ankles, which meant he now had to wear full length trousers(he'd learned quickly not to call them pants because in England that word actually refers to tighty-whities, which can cause some embarrassing misunderstandings) and roll them up a lot.
"I am not you big sissy!" Hobbes yelled as he bounded in and tackled the boy. Hobbes hadn't changed at all, except that he was now visible to everyone. "I'm just practicing my pouncing! I need the exercise! It's not my fault your parents are being all weird and not letting me go outside!"
"Stop this right now, both of you!" Mr. Campbell shouted, then forcing himself to use a much calmer voice he added. "We have a guest. Now why do you both sit down and have some tea. This is Professor McGonagall. Professor, this is Calvin, and this is Hobbes, his tiger. It's a long story."
Professor McGonagall had spent decades at Hogwarts, and seen some extraordinary magic, but even so when she was confronted by an anthropomorphic tiger her jaw dropped and she found herself at a loss for words.
"I like your costume." Calvin said as he and Hobbes sat down and started helping themselves to tea, biscuits, and in the tiger's case, tuna. "But it's a bit early for Halloween, ya know."
"That's not a Halloween costume Calvin" Mr. Campbell explained, as it seemed Professor McGonagall was still too much in shock to respond. "Calvin, Professor McGonagall teaches at a very special school, she's come to talk to us about you attending."
The mention of a teacher in the house immediately put Calvin on the defensive, "Whatever they're telling you about me it's not true!" He shouted "I'm a good kid, it's just wherever I go bad things just happen! Did they tell you about the noodle incident? 'Cause that was five years ago and there were extenuating circumstances!"
This got Professor McGonagall speaking again. "Do I want to know what he's talking about?" She asked Calvin's parents.
"Probably not." Mr. Campbell replied. "Calvin, we haven't told her anything about you, but there is something you need to be told. God, how do I put this?"
"If I may." Said Professor McGonagall. "I've given this news to several children in my time, and I find the direct approach is best. Calvin, magic is real, and you are a wizard. The school I teach at is where young witches and wizards like yourself go to learn magic"
Calvin seemed more willing to believe this than any child Professor McGonagall had ever encountered. "Really? Cool! I always knew there was something special about me!" he declared. "So you're a witch, then? Prove it, show me some magic!"
"Calvin, don't be rude." scolded Mrs. Campbell.
"It's alright," Said Professor McGonagall. "Children demanding proof is all part of this job. Though in the future I would strongly suggest you say 'please', young man" and then she turned into a tabby cat with spectacle-like markings around her eyes.
Mrs. Campbell gasped, being told magic was real was one thing, actually seeing it was another.
Hobbes was so surprised he almost choked on his tuna.
"Awesome!" Yelled Calvin. "Can you guys believe this?" he glanced at Hobbes and his parents,
"Actually Calvin, yes." Replied Mr Campbell. "I never told you this, because I wasn't sure you'd be a wizard, but I'm what's known as a squib, which means I come from a wizard family, but didn't inherit any magical abilities myself."
"That must have sucked growing up." said Calvin. "No wonder you're so cranky all the time."
"It wasn't easy." Mr. Campbell sighed through gritted teeth.
"But I bet it built a lot of character!" Calvin added in typical smart-aleck fashion.
Mrs. Campbell and Hobbes couldn't help snickering.
"I suppose I deserve that." Mr. Campbell grumbled after counting to a very high number in his head.
"Sorry to interrupt what I can only assume to be a private family joke," Said Professor McGonagall, who had changed back into human form. "But I think Calvin had best read this." he said holding out a parchment envelope, sealed with purple wax bearing a crest with the image of a lion, an eagle, a snake and a badger surrounding a large H.
Calvin opened the envelope and took out two sheets of parchment, he read the first aloud.
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Mr. Calvin Campbell, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall Deputy Headmistress
"Deputy Headmistress?" repeated Calvin, "Shouldn't delivering letters be beneath you, then?"
"All Hogwarts professors, regardless of position are required to take turns explaining the situation to students with non-wizard parents." Professor McGonagall replied. "Do you have any questions?"
"Well there is something I've been wondering about for a while, actually. Maybe you could help me figure it out." Calvin said. "Hobbes, is he some sort of magical creature or something? I've never seen anything else like him, and until a little while ago it was like people couldn't see him, they kept saying he was stuffed."
"Ah yes, Hobbes." Professor McGonagall said leaning forwards a bit to look at Hobbes more closely. "Most extraordinary, I've never seen anything quite like it. How precisely did you come across him?"
"I lured him into my tiger trap with a tuna fish sandwich, when I was six!" said Calvin, proud of his younger self's ingenuity.
"Actually I bought him at a toy store and put him in Calvin's trap." Mrs Campbell confessed. "I'm almost positive he was a stuffed toy, at the time."
"I see." said Professor McGonagall. "Well Calvin, it seems that without knowing you were doing you animated Hobbes, that is, brought him to life magically, and did some fairly skillful transfiguration to make his physical form more realistic."
"Neat!" declared Calvin. "Hey Hobbes since I gave you life, you must now forever do my bidding, got it?"
"Or I could just go berserk and kill my creator." Hobbes replied. his tone clam but his fangs bared.
"Alright then, no bidding, and no going berserk, that's fair, right?" said Calvin, suitably intimidated.
"Glad you see it that way." Hobbes said, casually sipping his tea as though he had not just threatened to kill his best friend.
"This really is astounding!" Professor McGonagall went on. "He seems fully sentient, and looks completely real! He's even able to ingest food and liquid! Most fully trained wizards couldn't create something this complex! I've never even heard of anything quite like it!"
"So does that mean I'm some sort of prodigy?" Asked Calvin.
"Well, this is magic far beyond what someone your age should be capable of." Replied Professor McGonagall, who had the uneasy feeling that she had just unwittingly contributed to an ego that was already far too large.
Her suspicions were confirmed when Calvin jumped up and started shouting at his parents, "I knew I was a genius! You doubted me, but I knew! I may not be good at tests or homework, but this proves my brilliance! Sweet vindication!"
"Or it could just be you're an idiot savant." said Hobbes with a smirk.
"Watch it tuna breath!" Calvin glared at the Tiger. "If I made you, that means I can probably unmake you too!"
Hobbes just stuck his tongue out.
"Calvin's 'genius' aside," said Mrs. Campbell. "Why weren't we able to see Hobbes until recently? The way Calvin talks I can only assume he's been around much longer."
"Hmm, that's a more complicated matter." replied Professor McGonagall. "If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say that on some subconscious level Calvin was aware that Hobbes wasn't, as you put it, 'normal', and used magic to keep others from seeing his true form. Such spells are used all over the world to keep muggles from seeing things they shouldn't. But now that Calvin's older his magic is stronger, and harder to control without proper training, he's not able to keep the spell up any longer. A few years at Hogwarts and Calvin should be able to control who sees Hobbes and who doesn't."
"Wait a minute!" exclaimed Hobbes. "The magic that makes me alive isn't just going to wear off too, is it?" Hobbes was having just a tiny bit of trouble processing what was happening. For years he'd secretly held questions about his own existence. He'd noticed long before Calvin that no one could see him, and that there were no other animals like him. Strangest of all he had no memory of anything before meeting Calvin, as though he'd just sprang up out of nowhere at that moment. Now that he knew the answer to his questions he found it, disconcerting, to say the least.
"No need to worry about that." Professor McGonagall assured him. "If you've been animated for five years it would seem the spell is permanent. We actually have objects at Hogwarts that have been animated for over a thousand years."
"One other thing," said Calvin, who'd just finished skimming his supply list. "This bit here where it says I can bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad, a tiger counts as a cat, right?"
"That's debatable." replied Professor McGonagall, "However due to his magical nature, I don't think it would be wise to leave him with your parents. If you need any special accommodations for him, let me know and I will make the arrangements."
"I don't think there's anything special, can you think of anything Hobbes?" asked Calvin.
"This is a boarding school, yeah? Can I get my own bed? Calvin keeps me up all night whining that I hog the covers!" the tiger complained.
"You do hog the covers!" Calvin told him.
"Well, you have cold feet!" retorted Hobbes.
"I'll make a note of it." interjected Professor McGonagall, already feeling sorry for whoever these two ended up sharing a dorm with, "Now if that's all, there's the matter of shopping for your school supplies. I'll have to take you since you need a wand to get into Diagon Alley where the wizarding shops are located. The rest of you may come with us if you wish. You'll need to bring some money to exchange for wizard money at Gringotts, the wizard bank."
"Of course, I took out a withdrawal recently, just in case." Said Mr. Campbell. "Calvin, would you go get it, it's in an envelope on my nightstand."
"Okay!" Calvin replied rushing upstairs, excited.
"That should give us a couple of minutes, there's some things about we have to warn you about." Mr. Campbell blurted, "He has such an overactive imagination he sometimes becomes completely detached from reality. He's constantly trying to pull off harebrained schemes and practical jokes. Plus he hates rules, authority figures, and any sort of work. Did I forget to mention anything?"
"His total disregard for safety!" Hobbes chimed in. "All those wagon rides off Dismemberment Gorge, and the sled rides down Suicide Slopes!" the tiger shuttered
Merlin's beard! This boy sounds worse than the Weasley twins! And just my luck he'll be a Gryffindor! Professor McGonagall thought. Aloud she said. "Hogwarts has had its fair share of problem students. I'm sure we can handle him."
"His first grade teacher thought that." Said Mr. Campbell. "She still sends us angry letters, from the mental hospital."
Professor McGonagall's eyes widened at that.
"Honey, don't exaggerate!" said Mrs. Campbell, but any relief caused by this comment was cut short when she added, "They released her from that place almost a year ago."
Why me? Thought Professor McGonagall.