Chapter 1

I glanced at the time and sighed. It was almost time for Alice to come get me to prepare for my wedding. I'd been having second thoughts for weeks now, but I knew it was inevitable that I needed to be turned thanks to the Volturi knowing about me. The only way Edward would agree was marriage. I wasn't even sure if he was who I wanted an eternity with anymore. Looking back, I don't think he ever was. The puppy love was starting to wear off, leaving me to realize that it had just been mostly infatuation that I'd felt for him.

I was broken out of my thoughts by my cell phone ringing. I thought about not answering it, but knew it was most likely one of the Cullen's without even looking at the caller id.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Bella! It's your wedding day, you should sound more excited!" Alice chirped on the other end. I rolled my eyes, of course the hyperactive pixie picked up on my dull tone instantly.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered. The phrase was definitely something I had picked up from my time spent with Jacob. I felt a pang in my chest at the thought of my best friend. Or former best friend, I suppose. After all, my wedding invitation had been the catalyst for him running away. Away from his pack, his home, and his disabled father that truly needed him. Away from me…

"Anyways, I was just letting you know I'm about to be there." Alice said before hanging up. I just sat in the foot of my bed, staring blankly at the wall. I'd known Jacob had feelings for me, I'd used them to my advantage on multiple occasions. But I couldn't fathom ever getting married without him being there to celebrate it with me. Before long I heard my door open and was accutely aware of Alice bouncing in.

"Bella, what's the matter with you?" Alice asked, immediately noticing my expression, or rather the lack of.

"Nothing." I tried painting a fake smile onto my face. But the vampire instantly saw through it and came to sit beside me.

"You know, you don't have to get married today if you don't want." Alice said, eyeing me warily.

"I do though. You've all put so much time and money into this, not to mention all the guest that have been invited." I replied.

"No, Bella. All any of us want for you is to see you happy. And if this won't help you, then we won't force it on you."

"It'd break Edward's heart if I backed out, especially on the day of." I muttered.

"It would also break his heart if he found out you were doing it because you felt obligated, not because you actually wanted to marry him." She pointed out. I knew she had a point, but the inner turmoil was killing me.

"And I still have to be turned. There's no getting around that. You know Edward won't do it unless we're married." I stated. Turned… something I'd thought I wanted. Now, the idea of never seeing my family, or friends, again stung. The thought of Jacob and the rest of the pack hating me stung. I thought back to the vision I'd had on the mountain that day, of our kids and our possible life together. I longed for it now, but it was a date I could never had. Edward had insured that by allowing the Volturi to discover me.

"Bella...Bella, snap out of it." Alice's voice broke through my thoughts. I looked at her and noticed for the first time that she genuinely seemed worried. I broke down then, the first emotion I'd really shown at all that day.

"I don't want to give my family up. I don't want to be a vampire anymore, Alice. Not if it means not seeing Charlie or Renee anymore. Or Angela and Ben. Even Mike. I don't want the pack to hate me….they're like another family to me too." I cried.

""You don't want the pack to hate you, or you don't want Jacob to hate you?" She asked.

"Either of them." I knew I was whining over useless things. My fate was either be a vampire, or death. "I feel so stupid, but he was supposed to be my best man...now he's gone. I don't want to get married without Jake there." Alice wiped my tears away but said nothing. I sobbed harder. It was like a dam had burst, once I truly realized all I stood to lose, I finally realized how much I wanted it. How much I needed it. I didn't want an eternity. I didn't want the Cullen fortune, or their lifestyle of pretending to always be highschool students. I didn't want to say goodbye to everything and everyone that I knew.

"Bella I'll be right back. I need to make a few phone calls real quick. You're obviously in no state to be getting married today, if at all as far as Edward is concerned. I'll be back as soon as I can be." Alice finally said, before flirting out of the room. A few minutes passed before I heard my door open. This time, it was my father though. He'd already donned his wedding suit, though he'd loosened the tie and unbuttoned the cuffs.

I eyed him warily, not sure why he'd come in. I knew he was bound to know by the state j was in that the wedding wasn't happening, or at the very least that I wasn't happy about the wedding. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking like he was trying to find the words to say. That was one thing we'd always had in common. Neither of us were good with our words.

"So...what's going on Bella? Just yesterday you seemed fine with the notion of getting married to Cullen." Charlie finally said. I could tell he felt awkward about prying.

"I don't want to dad. But I don't know if I can really back out at this point." I 4e0lied, looking at the ground.

"What changed?"

"They're moving away. I don't want to say bye to you, and everyone else here. And Jacob….dad he'd hate me if I marry Edward. He's my best friend, he was supposed to be here with me to celebrate, and he can't even stand being near me now. What's going to happen if I go through with the wedding? He was there when no one else was, how could I turn my back on him for a guy? My God, he ran away because of all of it...I'm horrible." And cue the waterworks again. Charlie surprised me by wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a hug.

"Bella, I know I asked you to be sure that this was what you wanted. But you could have decided all of this long before now. I'll support you with whatever decision you make, but you need to make absolutely certain what you do, is what you want and what's best for you. You can call off the wedding, or I'll call for you if you'd like. But you need to make sure you don't see a future with that boy before doing so. Because once you say it's off, there's probably not going to be any going back." Charlie said

"Alice is supposed to be making the call now, dad. But I don't know what's going to happen after that. Things are such a mess. I felt like I had to go through with it. I never wanted marriage, you know that. But things got so twisted, I didn't feel like I had a choice."

"What do you mean, Bells? You always have a choice. Has he been controlling you?" He asked, andlger suddenly flashing on his face.

"Bella, you need to tell him. Everything. Carlisle agreed to it in the phone. I had a vision this morning before I came over, and it's going to help if you do." Alice sudden my flitted back into the room. I was acutely aware that she'd not even tried to pretend to go human pace.

"What are you talking about?" Charlie asked. He'd no doubt noticed her abnormal speed.

"This is going to take a while, dad. So you may want to get comfy." And with that I told him everything, from start to finish. Nothing was left out. Alice helped fill in on the parts I struggled to remember, like in the studio with James, and the newborn battle since I hadn't actually been present for that. Charlie surprisingly took it all in stride.

"So if you're not turned, were going to have the vampire kings breathing down our backs until you're dead?" He asked when we finally finished.

"I may know a way around that. They've been after jasper and I to join the guard since leading of us. In my vision, we traded a century of our service for your freedom." Alice cut in.

"But Alice, your freedom for mine?" I was appalled by the idea. I knew the Volturi stood against everything the Cullens stood for.

"A century for a vampire is nothing, Bella. We have eternity to live our lives how we want. You only get so long as a human. Look at it this way, we can continue living however we please afterwards if we do this. If we don't, you'll never have the life you want and will forever be stuck being something you despise." Alice replied. "I have to go, to see if Jasper and Aro came to an agreement or not." She hugged me, and I had a feeling that regardless of the outcome, it would be the last hug I received from the pixie

"I love you so much, Alice. You don't know how much this means to me." I said, tears welling up again. She flashed a smile at me before leaving Charlie and I alone.

"For the love of God, Bells...vampires? Shape shifters? Are any of your friends normal?" Charlie asked after a moment.

"Angela...I think.." I replied sheepishly.