Chapter Info

Title: Take me back home.

Number: 1/?

Warnings: Language, angst, mentions of violence.

Author's Note: Found at the end!

- ʚɞ -

- La Push, Washington -

- Bella -

- October -

If there was one thing she had forgotten about the La Push reservation was just how calming it was. Even now as the silence of the house drifted around her, she felt calmer than she had in a long time. Her soul felt at peace for the first time in nine years and the weight that had been ever crushing on her soul was finally released and her lungs free to drag in as much oxygen as they wished.

The place was almost like a fairytale in a way, somewhere that was a sanctuary for those that needed it. For those that were lost in a world of chaos, they could come here and feel all their worries slip away and leave them like dust on the wind. Even those who had been spurned by destiny, they too could find peace on the tribal grounds.

Speaking of destiny, she had read somewhere that everyone's future was planned out. That every decision that a person thought was random, every choice they made that felt like it was in a spur of the moment. Was actually preordained and simply a step along the right path, bringing them closer to the crux of their destiny and the future they were to have. From the moment you were born, to the moment you died, it was all written out in black and white.

If that was true, she really wished she could get a bloody refund. As if this was the path her life was supposed to take, some things were sitting in her history that she'd rather forget.

From her love affair with a vampire which led to marriage, to the destruction of said marriage and the loss of one of her best friends. All of it was steeped in regret that some days threatened to swallow her whole. She had looked in the face of two people and believed one was her forever and one would forever be by her side. Alas, she had lost both and was left to wander in the darkest of the abyss.

It was strange to stand, twenty-eight years old, and looking back on the last decade of her life with regrets. She wished, often enough, that she could reverse the time and stop her seventeen-year-old self from making what would lead to being one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

She wished she could go back to that fateful day in biology and make sure she never encountered Edward Cullen or his attention. Maybe then she would know true happiness, maybe then the pain she had lived with the past decade would be nothing but a distant memory.

Yet this was her life.

She had fallen head over heels in love with a vampire and threatened to give up everything. A teenage infatuation that she swore was first love, an infatuation that consumed her every thought and decision. Her life became intertwined with the supernatural and leading to her almost being broken by a rogue vampire and yet that didn't deter her. She was adamant to join the life she had found herself within, willing to walk away from everything for the promise of forever.

And then there was her fateful eighteenth birthday, a simple papercut leading her whole life to come crashing down around her. She had read many books about heartbreak and had sworn that the hole in her heart was what she was feeling. Now, she realised it was just the after-effects of vampire glamour. Her mind was so warped by Edward that she couldn't breathe without him.

Her only solace had come in the form of Jacob Black, the sunshine she used to better herself. In her warped reality, she told herself she needed him, that without him she would drown in the darkness that threatened to consume her whole. Yet the darker truth was she was using him, using him to hold the hole in her heart closed. Used the feelings he had for her to her own means. She was selfish and didn't deserve Jacob, and yet she wouldn't be without him.

Even as he fell in love with her, tried to convince her that they were destined to be together. She told him, over and over that they weren't meant to be. Even in her selfish need, she had the right mind to tell him that, yet he dug in his claws and she found herself once more at the mercy of another.

Even as Jacob's world brought with it the other monsters in the night. Shapeshifters. She found that because of the vampires she was so linked too, boys lost their free-will to the monster inside. Forever bound to hunt down the cold ones and stop the threats that loomed in the dark. Paul had been right when he had snidely said it was her fault, the blinkers over her eyes refusing to let her see just how much.

But punching him in the face had at least been worthwhile.

Slowly though, she began to repair herself. The jump of the cliffs being her way of saying goodbye to the vampire who haunted her and washing herself clean so she could be reborn. Though, as always things never did go her way. Victoria getting too close, two new wolves phasing in and a vampire returning and messing things up.

In one small blink, she was off to Italy and fighting to save the life of the man who had left her behind, forever tangling her further into the world she didn't truly belong. The vampire kings scarring her and for a moment making her regret her decision to become involved with Edward. Yet the promise that she would be turned, the promise that her love would return to her had stilled her tongue and lured her once more into the vampiric trap.

From there, her life became a whirlwind once more, a marriage proposal, a newborn army and another threat to her life. All of it closing in on her and leaving her gasping for breath as she slowly cut every tie that bound her to this life. She wanted nothing but Edward and the promise of their forever.

Even as Jacob told her of imprinting, told her how he never would and he could love her better than Edward. One half of her wished he'd never uttered those words, whilst a more silent part prayed he saved her from the gilded cage she was stuck inside. A bird with no room to fly. Her wings clipped at the whims of her vampire masters.

Whilst she didn't love Jacob, she wished he'd saved her but she chased him away. Lost his friendship and that of the wolves. The moment Victoria was killed, she was now the enemy. Soon to become one quite literally as her wedding neared and so did the honeymoon. The promise of one final act being the only thing her heartbeat for, the promise of knowing the most intimate of loves whilst human.

The bruises had been painful, even under the smiles she showed to her love. Though his eyes had betrayed a hidden darkness she had never seen. One-touch and her whole world started to fall apart, soon her mind became her own once more. Edward refused to touch her, to kiss her, to be near her.

Her life had fallen apart. She gave him everything and he wanted nothing.

For six months she wilted away in her gilded cage, praying for the love she had been promised to return to her. Yet it never came, the coldness seeping in and freezing her soul. Leaving her empty and alone.

Her true saving grace had come in the form of Rosalie and Jasper, the two releasing her from her cage. Their hands guiding her wings to once again fly as they got her an annulment as well as the papers to leave and build a life. Their parting words were the only thing that returned warmth to her ever freezing heart.

As she sat on the plane they'd chosen, she had felt the hole rip its way through her once more, the feeling of being alone settling in and making her want to turn around and return to Edward's arms. To take whatever he wished to give her, as long as he held her close. Yet Rosalie had told her to live, to find the happiness that was truly hers and she vowed to do just that.

She vowed to live and know warmth once more.

New York was a haven she didn't know she needed. She was a blink, a shadow masked by eight million people and she was surrounded by normal at every turn. The college she went to, to get her teaching degree didn't have vampires hiding in its halls. It had normal people, who bled and lived like her. People who worried about their test scores instead of staying hidden from her vampire ex-husband.

And slowly but surely she began to repair herself over the next six years, she had relationships, found solace in the heat of passion even if she never truly cared for those she slept with. The relationships and friendships short-lived but stepping stones towards her healing, towards her living the life she should have lived. A human life.

The one downside was that the pain still remained and at nights she found herself dreaming of the wolves. A constant reminder of the only other place she'd felt at home, on the reservation land. But it was the black one, Sam, she dreamed of most. Soon the dreams always morphed into his look of agony as she got married, as though she had ripped his heart out and smothered it.

Though she had no idea why.

So yeah, if her life was pre-written somewhere, someone really needed to revise the pages and make some changes. Because she wished, with everything within her, that she hadn't gotten tangled up with the Cullen family. That she'd had the smallest shred of self-preservation to keep herself away.

But that wasn't her world. Not anymore, she would forever be the stupid human who fell in love with a vampire and punished a wolf in the face. The human who was running from the Volturi and praying one day they didn't find her and end her life over a game she was a pawn within.

She would admit though, that four years ago life had dealt her a hand she didn't regret. Her split decision to stay in Colorado and visit the local bar resulting in her finally finding somewhere to belong. For the first time in four years, ever since she ran from her husband, she finally felt like she was home.

Skylar Ragnulf had been the one to help with that. At first, she was nothing more than the bartender who calmly handed over the drinks Bella threw down her through without any cares. Something that soon turned into a conversation that felt natural, the two talking about their hometowns and learning they were neighbours. Bella from Forks and Skylar from La Push.

She hadn't ever met the woman and soon learnt why, just as Bella moved to town and met Edward, Skylar moved away. Their paths so close but pulled in different directions but their choices.

It had been so easy to talk with Skylar, that Bella could finally breathe. And when she'd offered her apartment for Bella to stay in, she was sure it was the quickest decision she'd ever made. She didn't need to think, she didn't need to worry about the danger she was bringing to her new friend. She just acted. For the first time, she did something for herself.

With Skylar being in the military there were times where Bella was alone in the apartment and it gave her the sense that she was once more in control of her life. And even when Skylar was home, it was just as easy as breathing. The two moved through a routine as they intermingled themselves in each other's lives. They found a steady camaraderie that allowed them to coexist in relative peace.

She would admit though, finding out that Skylar was a shapeshifter, a destined alpha, as well as the cousin to Jacob Black had been a surprise. But what did she truly expect? She'd run away from the supernatural world for four years, did she really expect to be gone from it forever. Yet despite knowing the supernatural was once more in her life, she didn't shy away from it. She embraced it, she was a wolf girl - always was - and it was time she stopped denying it.

A year into their friendship things had changed, they crossed over the boundary from friends to friends with benefits with an ease that made Bella's head spin. It wasn't forced, it was natural. And more than that, they were both going into it with their eyes open. They were using each other, Bella wanting a way to forget everything that plagued her and Skylar was chasing away her own demons. The drug they chose was each other.

Even with the knowledge that they both had other lovers, it didn't change their dynamic. If anything it strengthened their friendship, Skylar soon becoming the one person Bella could confide in. Her fears over Edward one day finding her, of her memories in La Push and the way she had felt so at home. And in return, Skylar helped her get stronger, taught her how to stand up for herself, to throw a punch.

They both gave in equal measure, something Bella was ashamed to admit she wasn't used too.

When Skylar gave birth to her daughter Emmie-Jo, she slipped into the aunt role with ease. Her and Skylar's friendship was strong enough that raising the little girl together was just the next step in normal. Whilst others looked down on them, not understanding the way things were. They simply took it as another thing that made them who they were.

She met Skylar's brother Sonny about a year and a half into her time with Skylar, she barely remembered him from her time in La Push and almost instantly she knew he was a part of Sam's pack. Like Jacob. But when she was around him, it was easy to forget that. His easy-going nature was so natural that she found herself laughing, enjoying the time spent with the younger male that reminded her of Jacob in so many ways. Her favourite pastime was watching Skylar and Sonny together. The way they'd move in sync, always in tune and always there when the other needed them.

He became another one of her true friends. Him, Skylar and their stepbrother Cole. Three people who understood the supernatural world because they were a part of it, and each of them brought something to Bella's life that helped her feel as though she was finally normal. No longer having to put on a facade that she was something she wasn't. She could be the nerd who read for hours, the clumsy girl who fell over her own feet and spent most times within the ER. She could just be.

With the Cullen's she had always felt insignificant, the clumsy human amid perfection. That no matter how much she tried she would never truly fit in unless she was one of them. But with her wolf family, she was just as normal as they were. Yeah, they had superior senses and speed, but they made mistakes too. They bled as she did, and the blood didn't whip them into a blood-crazed frenzy. She was just Bella. Plain and normal Bella - and that was okay.

She was happy to be normal.

One thing she'd never expected though, was to return home. She knew it was always a possibility, she couldn't run forever. Not when her father was still the chief within the small town and she had ties there that still wrapped around her like steel ties. And when the announcement that Sonny was to be married came about, she knew her time had run out.

The younger wolf had invited her and there was no reluctance on Bella's part, eagerly agreeing the chance to be Skylar's plus one. She had been happy to be invited, wanting to watch as her friend and his imprint Mina solidified their love. Even if it meant that she had to come back to one of the places she had been running from. For her friends, she'd do it. She'd risk the chance of being found, of not being wanted, just to be with her friends.

Plus she was truly happy for them.

She could remember when Jacob had first told her about imprinting with vivid detail, believing in her teenage naivety that it was the story of true love. Of course, at the time he had used Skylar and Paul's story, to show that it could be ignored, that it wasn't forever. Though she had ignored those facts, she had simply locked her sights on the tale of true love and refused to be moved.

God was she an idiot.

But since meeting Skylar and Sonny, as well as the other wolves of Colorado, she had since learnt that it was far more than that, the imprint was simply a nudge in the right direction. And without a true basis of love to keep it alive - it became nothing more than a shackle. Resentment could grow in place of love, that not everything could be summed up with the 'mates' title and expect happiness and forever.

She felt a little better about that. Knowing it wasn't just her love story that had gone down in flames. A fact that she'd mumbled and had Skylar laughing for a good ten minutes. The wolf finding the hidden humour in Bella's misfortune.

Yet all the discussion did was remind her of how much Jacob had wished to imprint on her. How he was so adamant that her future lay with him, even telling her he'd never imprint anyway because he was to be alpha but being with him would be as easy as breathing. It was enough to make the blood in her veins run cold. He had been her best friend, and despite how much she wished it, she could never love him that way. She had failed in showing that, and failed to the point she lost him.

But at the time she thought she had true love. She thought she had her forever.

Fast forward eight years and she was back in La Push, surrounded by wolves, from two different packs and wondering just when her life had become so complicated.

" Sweet Bella Swan – " the rich lupine croon makes her jump.

The cadence of it startling her from her musings. Her balance wavering as she almost crashes to the floor. Even after all the work, she'd done to reign in her clumsiness, the wolves still managed to bring it forth within her. Their silent steps scare her and make her poor human heart race towards the heavens. A futile glare settles on her face towards the she-wolf yet the gaze itself likes any fire as she walks forward, arms outstretched for a hug.

" How come you didn't go with my dad, Leiah and Cole ? " Skylar asks as Bella moves forward.

" Given my history here – " She sighs, the words met with a curiously raised brow. " I figured I was safer walking in with the bitch of La Push. "

She was using the other wolf, remembering the tales Jacob had spoken about how his cousin was the most feared fighter in La Push. The elder Ragnulf having used her fists to carve a path, carve a reputation that no one dares look down upon. Yet as Skylar laughs, Bella knew the other didn't blame her for it. Once more the two of them were using each other, and they didn't even care. They allowed it to happen and would simply move on to another issue afterwards.

" And where's Emmie-Jo ? "

Bella hums softly in response. " She's gone ahead with Sonny and Mina. "

Skylar's hum is the only answering response as her fingers once more return to braiding her waist-length hair. Silence soon creeping in and causing Bella to look over her shoulder. Seeing the spot where the she-wolf once stood now empty. Her head shakes minutely, knowing that even after a decade, she still wasn't used to the silence in which the wolves moved. How one moment they were there, the next gone.

Yet being home, she was going to have to get used to it. She was now surrounded by them once more, two packs, a lot of wolves. Her eyes track to the forest idly and she almost expects to see lupine eyes staring out from inside the foliage, daring her to come closer and lose herself within them once more.

She was home and once more her life had changed. She wasn't sure if it was for better, or crazier.

- ʚɞ -

A / N : Reviews are love and highly appreciated- So firstly, if you're here from Wild Hearts, hello and welcome along Bella and Sam's wild ride.

If you're a new reader, it's safe to say you might be a bit confused by certain things. This story takes place within the world of my Paul/Oc story - Wild Hearts. The OC's are featured in both and more than once the storylines will intermingle. But I try to stick primarily to the relationship featured in the story. So please give it a chance.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter anyway. I should hopefully have the next chapter posted soon. And get ready for more angst and lovely drama ahead.