Note: This is a Caryl story throughout though there is a mention of past canon relationships and sometimes a bit of speculation about future relationships. Nevertheless, the only actual relationship is Caryl. This story is very personal for me as it's bases partly on my own. Not that I am surviving a zombie apocalypse, and my partner doesn't weild a crossbow, but Carol's story is in some ways my own story.
The makeshift curtains-really they were shades, looked good. The sheers that were already there did nothing to block out the light and she wanted to be able to. Plus the curtains she'd improvised would be good for warmth. Almost like thermal shades. Jerry had remarked admiringly on her "window treatments" when he'd help her hang the rods and attach them. The room was shaping up very nicely. It wasn't overly decorated, Carol wasn't really one for frills. She had found some nice touches to make it hers though. A pair of botanical prints, two small tables to serve as her nightstands. There was even an old-fashioned washstand which Jerry had pronounced "very B&B". Carol's favorite find had been the oriental rug that she had found in an empty room in another house. She loved the softness of the rug and the beautiful design. She wasn't able to do anything about the peeling wallpaper. Even if she did take the time to strip it, there was no extra paint for the walls. She didn't mind. The rest of the room was just as she wanted. The final touch was the extra blanket she put on her bed. It was a match for the one in Daryl's room at the Grimes house, and in fact, it was a gift from him. She had observed the look of surprise on his face, as he had watched her carry it across the street to her new place. Despite what had happened between them and the circumstances that led to her moving to her new house, she still treasured the gift. Just as she had once treasured a Cherokee Rose given to her in a beer bottle.
Today, she and Jerry had moved in the rest of her possessions and hung the shades. She welcomed his cheerful presence. She had grown close to Jerry and Nabilia in her years at the Kingdom, celebrating their marriage and later welcoming them children after they were born. After hanging the last shade, Jerry stepped back and gave her a broad smile.
"Look good?"
"Perfect. Thank you Jerry," Carol smiled.
"Need anything else My Q-Carol?"
"I'm good for now thanks. Dinner later?"
"You bet! The kids will be so happy. Are we bringing anything?"
"Nabilia has already offered to bring some fresh bread. Which is wonderful".
"OK then Carol," Jerry looks around. "Looks really nice. I'm glad you've decided to…" He trails off for a moment. "I mean I hope you like it."
Carol smiles as she pets Dog, who has made himself comfortable on the bed.
"I do Jerry. It's been a long time, since I had my own place. I never really did. I moved in with Ed, after I left my parent's house. Then." She waves her hand vaguely. "I like having a place that's just mine, if that makes sense. I've always shared with someone else, even when times were good."
"Well, I wish you all the happiness, and I hope-I hope it works out". Jerry nods as he turns to leave. Carol walks downstairs with him, Dog padding after them, and impulsively gives him a hug before he opens the door.
"I'm okay. Really." She takes a deep breath and smiles at him. "I'm good"
"OK, I'll see you later then."
Carol watches him go for a moment before she closes the door. Before she does, she catches a glimpse of HIM, across the street. He's just stepped outside, and he gives her house a sideways glance. Not wanting to deal with HIM right now, she calls Dog to her and heads to the kitchen. She should get started on dinner. She goes over the menu in her head. She was going to see what she could find in the pantry to make one of her famous casseroles. The kids loved it and they often played a game of "guess the ingredients". There was always at least one that they couldn't identify. Usually the mystery ingredient was food that RJ claimed he "hated". She had invited Judith and RJ over as well. The 3 adults would be outnumbered, but that was fine. It was nice to hear the children's laughter and hear about their day at school. Daryl was on evening watch, so she had the kids tonight. She had offered to take them to their house and wait there for Daryl, but RJ had wanted a sleepover, and Carol was happy to accommodate. She had a guest room set up for them, but RJ wanted to set up sleeping bags in front of the fireplaces so they could have a "campout". Growing up in Alexandria, RJ thought of camping as something exotic. If only he knew. When there was no shelter it was a different matter. Still, before the turn, she had gone camping with Ed and Sophia. Sophia was always excited to sleep in a tent and roast marshmallows over a campfire, but Carol had always been on edge. Ed usually drank and he was likely to go off for the slightest reason. The extra demands of packing and setting up a campsite. were hard on Carol. . She shook herself. That Carol was long gone. Ed was gone. She was past that. The pain, especially from losing Sophia, was still there, but she had made room for it, as Andrea had once said. She was going to have a nice dinner with Jerry's family and the kids and then they have their sleepover. There were no marshmallows anymore, but they had board games. Judith had promised to be patient with RJ and not to gloat too much if she won. Judith normally did It was important to Carol that the kids felt welcome here. With both their parents gone, she and Daryl were all they had, and she didn't want them to feel another loss. Yet, she knew she couldn't live in the same house with Daryl. The things he had said to her had hurt her deeply. She needed time to heal. She needed space to figure out the next steps. She didn't want to run away. She felt that she was where she belonged now. This had become her home and she was part of a community. There were some, she considered to be family. Others had become good friends. She had a place here. Even though not all agreed with her decision to use Negan to destroy Alpha, most had understood. She still had deep regrets about Connie's accident. She had been taunted by Alpha and she had fallen into her trap. Because of that, Connie was missing. She was a friend. Maybe more to Daryl. He had said it wasn't like that, but he also said that he and Leah had been friends, when it was much more than that. If they did find Connie, and Daryl wanted to be with her, she would wish them happiness as Daryl had wished her happiness once. She was ready to accept that she and Daryl, close as they were, might not be more friends. They were still very close, they shared a past. But it had never developed into anything else. Maybe it could have, but there was always something. Losing Sophia. Losing the prison. So many losses. He has always been there for her. They had comforted each other, but it wasn't the kind of comfort he'd found with Leah and it wasn't the kind she'd found with Ezekiel. Ezekiel had offered her a fairy tale life, and it had been lovely for a time. He would have never hurt her. But losing their son was something that they couldn't overcome. Daryl had been there. He'd tried to stop her from losing herself in revenge. Finally, Lydia had pulled from from the edge. She was finding herself. Daryl was right in part. She had been running away, but she was ready to stop running. She was ready to begin a new life and he would always be part of her life no matter what happened. They'd made a commitment to take care of the kids. They'd promised Michonne that they would always be there for them. They would share custody if necessary. She wasn't running away.
"Carol noticed the note someone had put under her door. She smiled, thinking it was probably from RJ. He often left her notes, a picture he drew, sometimes an invitation, sometimes a request. Like Sam had once done, he liked to keep her company when she cooked. She didn't try to push him away. She had opened her heart to Henry, and though her heart had been broken, she had learned to treasure that part of herself. Even though she had no children of her own, she was happy to be among Judith and RJ's caregivers and she also babysat for Jerry and Nabilia and Rosita and Gabe.
It wasn't from RJ. She recognized the scrawl right away. With a sigh, she put it in her pocket to read later. She wasn't up for this right now. She didn't know if she'd feel sad, or angry. Probably angry. She had no time for HIS self-pity or for whatever accusations he might throw her way. Maybe he did miss her. It was only natural, but she was moving on with her life and she wasn't sure of his part in it at this point. It was too soon. She needed more time.