Happy Stargate Day! This was as close as I could get to a team fic. Thanks to Scullybean for the beta. Enjoy!

Jack heard the small squeak from the other end of the sofa where Sam was reading. His lips twitched, enjoying that Sam felt comfortable to fart in front of him and her fart was actually kind of cute.

"Excuse you."

"It was Jack."

"Ummmmm, nope."

He saw Sam tense just a bit even though her eyes never left the journal she was reading. "Ummmmm, yep."

"There's nothing wrong with farting."

"Agreed."

"So just fess up."

"Nope."

Jack was very confused. Was Sam really trying to pretend he was the one who made that adorable toot?

"I heard it."

"Of course you did, since you did it."

"If I had done it I would have heard it and felt it, unless it had been silent but deadly. Then I would have felt it and smelt it." He grinned at his own joke but was disappointed to get no response from Sam. She kept reading as he watched her, waiting for her to fess up, but as the silence stretched from seconds to minutes Jack decided this wasn't the issue he wanted to be their first fight.

The next morning Jack headed to Daniel's office instead of the conference room where he was supposed to meet with General Landry and a gaggle of other bureaucrats.

"Carter blamed me for her fart last night."

"Good morning to you too, Jack."

"Did you hear what I said?" Jack threw his arms out. "She literally told me I tooted when it was clearly her."

"No, Jack. It was you."

Jack's face went blank. "What?"

"It's always you. It's been you for as long as I've known you."

"You aren't making any more sense than Carter."

Daniel took off his glasses. "I think Kawalsky started it on the first Abydos mission."

Jack's arms fell to his sides. "Started what?"

"Blaming you for every fart." Daniel snickered at the bewildered look on Jack's face. "You were a bit intense on that first mission and it helped the guys bond. It also lightened things up a bit."

"And since then?"

"Well, Kawalsky passed along the tradition and I think it was Sam who explained how it worked to Teal'c."

"Even Teal'c?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm pretty sure he blamed you last week when we were on 653 even though you were nowhere near us."

"So for a decade I've been the butt of your jokes."

"Yep, but if it makes you feel better it helped us all bond."

"Oh, yeah, that totally fixes it all." The sarcasm dripping from Jack's words just made Daniel's grin grow into a full blown smile. "Wait, how exactly did you three hide this from me for so long?"

"Hand signals."

"Hand signals?"

"Yep."

Jack closed his eyes. "Unbelievable." He stalked out and headed to his day of meetings.

When his seemingly unending meetings finally concluded, he drove Sam to O'Malleys for dinner. He didn't say anything when she ordered corn beef and cabbage, washing it down with two beers. They'd only been back at her place for about fifteen minutes when the cabbage hit her and she let out a less than dainty toot. She was in the kitchen when it happened and he was stretched out across her sofa.

Without blinking an eye Jack piped up. "Excuse me."

Sam was so shocked she burst out laughing, which was of course Jack's goal. There were worse things to be blamed for than a decade's worth of farts.

*****I have been dual posting on here and achieve of our own for the last couple of years. Although I have been on FF for over a decade, I prefer AO3 for my ability to communicate with commentors. Pleas forgive me if every story doesn't end up on both sites. FF is just harder to navigate and the guest comments haven't been uplifting of late.