Emily had heard the rumors. JJ was planning to leave D.C. to go to New Orleans with her family. The older woman frowned at the thought. She was leaving for the second time. How badly did JJ want to leave her home? On the one hand, Emily knows their job isn't exactly the easiest one in the world. On the other, she knew JJ loved her job, and showed so much dedication and resilience.
Emily walked through the small aisle, picking at her fingernail and rubbing a thumb over it. Her eyes scanned over the jet to find the top of a blonde head. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head and slowly walked over to her, so as to not startle her.
JJ sensed movement in her peripherals, despite the music playing in her earphones, and looked up to see Emily sliding into the seat across from her. She brightly smiled at her and used one hand to shake the earphones out.
"Hey," Emily softly greeted with a smile of her own, folding her hands together on the table. "Can I bug you for a second?"
JJ gave a small nod. "Please do."
"There's a rumor floating around."
JJ scoffed, knowing who exactly told Emily. "Penelope." Of course .
"Is New Orleans something you're seriously considering?" Emily asked. It might have been a bit of wishful thinking, but JJ heard a pleading tone in her voice and her heart ached at the sound. Did Emily not want her to leave?
She shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know. It… sort of came out of nowhere. B- but believe me, I'm not gonna do anything without consulting all of you first," she tried her best to reassure Emily.
JJ found out she was offered to run the New Orleans field office when she and her family visited Will's family in New Orleans. Initially, she was shocked that they wanted her to fill in that position, and was torn about leaving the BAU that she barely slept a wink on their flight back to D.C. JJ had kept the secret from the team, but tried to avoid Emily the most, as best as she possibly could. As far as JJ knew, she had only told Spencer and Penelope before work, but apparently it had spread amongst their coworkers.
"They would be lucky to have you."
JJ couldn't help but smile at Emily's statement. All of a sudden, she felt her cheeks flush a light pink and she looked at the window, hiding her blush from the woman in front of her. Emily was always so proud of JJ, and the blonde readily accepted her compliments without hesitation or doubt. JJ was going to miss that.
"But," Emily continued. "Something to factor in, you know, should things get serious. If I were to move on from my position, I had you in mind to take over as unit chief," she finished, gauging in JJ's reaction.
"Whoa, wait. Are you-" JJ blinked as she tried to comprehend Emily's words. Was this a hypothetical question or a genuine one? She's not leaving too, is she?
Emily shook her head. "No. At least, not until I've consulted with all of you," she said. "But I wanted you to know that when you weigh your options."
JJ shyly smiled again. She didn't know what Emily meant by that offer, but she was flattered that she was her first choice as the successor of her role as unit chief.
"That's all," Emily finished with a small smile, standing up from her seat and walking away.
"Emily?"
It was soft and quiet, and Emily turned her head the same time JJ did. Brown and blue eyes were locked with one another. Emily raised her eyebrows, a spark of hope in her eyes.
JJ wanted to tell her at that moment. She wanted to say "I love you" and "I'm gonna stay" to Emily. Her mind was conflicting her courage to make her decision right then and there, and ask Emily to beg her to stay.
JJ's eyes broke the nearly intimate exchange as she shifted them in thought. "Um…" Come on, Jareau, just say it . "Thank you," she nodded instead. With a small laugh, she looked up at Emily again, "That means a lot that you said that."
Emily silently nodded and walked away, leaving JJ with her thoughts again. The blonde looked down and mentally kicked herself for not telling Emily. What was she going to do? Should she go take that job offer to be special agent in charge of the New Orleans field office or stay and become unit chief? Should she go to Louisiana and live a new life there or stay in the BAU and watch Emily continue to accept gifts and affection from Andrew?
It was a lot to process and so, JJ plugged her earphones in before glancing out the window.
It was a day of celebration for Penelope. Everyone was congratulating her on her new job and saying their farewells. JJ's eyes scanned the backyard quickly before she excused herself, tearing her body away from Will's and giving him a small smile. Before walking away, she lightly squeezed Emily's arm, signaling that she wanted her to follow. Emily furrowed her eyebrows in confusion but followed anyway, letting Andrew know she was going to be gone for a few minutes.
JJ walked to the back door of Rossi's mansion, and held it open for Emily. She closed it behind them and rubbed her hands together, taking a deep breath.
"What was that?" Emily asked, pointing a finger towards the backyard. "The arm squeeze?"
"Um, you're good," JJ said with an exhale. "Tonight's not about me, ok?"
Emily slowly nodded. "Ok…" she squinted her eyes at her questioningly. "But there's something."
JJ sighed and played with her hands. "Will and I decided… it's time for a change." Well, that was mostly a lie. JJ had told Will she wanted to leave and he asked if that's what she really wanted, in which she, after a few moments, said yes.
"I'm going." JJ said with confidence.
She had about a week to make up her mind about the two options she had, and finally decided to tell Will what she wanted.
"What are you talking about, JJ?" Will asked, muffled by a toothbrush in his mouth.
"I think I'm going to run the field office back in New Orleans."
Will had to spit out the toothpaste and rinse before turning around to face his wife. He saw that she was playing with her fingers and staring at the bathroom mirror, not him. He grabbed a towel to wipe his mouth and grabbed JJ's hands in his.
"Are you sure that's what you want? I know how much you love your family here. And your job," he pointed out. He didn't want to force JJ into anything that huge, especially because he had already become more supportive of her and her work later in their relationship.
JJ looked down at the floor and their hands for a moment, rubbing soothing circles on his hands with her thumbs. She needed to ground herself a little to remind herself why she wanted to take this risk. She couldn't be doing this because of Emily and Andrew's relationship, that would seem a bit selfish and impulsive. It does seem like a great position for her. She had some experience in leading people most of her life.
JJ finally nodded and squeezed his hands. "I'm sure. I mean, we said we'd call it at some point, right? Maybe this is our chance." She wasn't sure if she was convincing more, Will or herself. Maybe she wanted to call it and work a much easier but still stressful job. Maybe she wanted to call it to let Emily and herself be happy.
Will smiled. "Ok, let's do it."
Emily felt her heart sinking to her stomach, knowing what JJ meant. "You're gonna run the New Orleans office," she said in more of a statement than a question.
JJ bit her bottom lip and nodded. "I am," she murmured, choosing not to make any more eye contact with Emily. "But if Penelope finds out-"
"No, I won't." Emily shook her head, cutting her off. "Not tonight. I am so excited for you guys," she lied. Well, sort of. She really couldn't believe JJ was actually thinking about leaving again.
"I'm so sorry, Emily. I know how much you wanted that FBI director position and I just completely ruined it," JJ frowned and started to apologize.
"No." Emily shook her head again and smiled. "No, it's not your fault. Uh, I guess now's a good time to tell you that I got taken off the list."
"Oh my god," JJ gasped with a hand over her mouth. "Emily, I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"It's ok. Really." Emily assured with a smile. "I'll still be unit chief, but… I guess things will be different, huh? I mean, with you and Penelope gone."
JJ nodded. "I guess so." She glanced at the floor, still fumbling with her fingers. Emily tilted her head to the side and noticed this.
"JJ." Her head shot up at her name. "There's something else you're not telling me."
JJ looked at the backyard behind her and saw Andrew getting along with everyone. Her eyes drifted downwards again. He's a good guy. He's good for her . She turned back to Emily. It's now or never, she thought with a sigh.
"I love you, Emily."
Emily gave a confused but small smile. "I love you, too, JJ."
JJ shook her head. "No. I mean, I love you. You know…" she gestured vaguely with a shrug of her shoulder.
Emily's eyes widened and she opened her mouth in shock. Oh . "Oh. I don't know what-"
JJ humorlessly chuckled with a wave of her hand. "It's fine. I didn't really expect you to say anything. I just wanted to," she let out a puff, "get this off my chest."
"How long?"
"I don't know…" JJ shrugged again. "For a while now." She took a shaky breath and chewed on her bottom lip again. "I couldn't do anything about it because we were both living different lives. Our own lives. I was married- um, still am, and you were in London. Now… we're here and with other people."
Emily was trying to process everything in her brain. JJ loved her, and still does. All these years, Emily wasn't the only one who felt some sort of attraction or romantic feelings between the two of them at some point. She was afraid that JJ wouldn't like her back, so she never said anything.
"Emily?" JJ began to feel anxious. "Please say something, or don't say anything."
Emily blinked before smiling. "I love you, too, JJ."
JJ shook her head in surprise. "You're not just saying that to spare my feelings, are you?"
"No. I do love you. I always have, but… like you said, we both have our own lives now. I knew I couldn't stand a chance with you, so after a while, I… stopped. I wanted you to be happy, and that's ok with me," she smiled. After leaving for London after JJ and Will's wedding, Emily thought she would be able to get her mind off of JJ, and it worked a little as she began seeing other people. When she came back, all those intense feelings did, too, but she knew she couldn't chase JJ anymore, so she tried her best to keep a safe distance from her.
JJ nodded, feeling guilty. "I'm so sorry, Emily. I wish I'd known sooner. I thought it was this little crush that would quickly go away but you kept pulling me in. And I don't think I can stop, if I stay here any longer," JJ slightly laughed and felt tears falling down. "Don't get me wrong, I want you to be happy, too. I just never realized how much it would hurt seeing you with someone else." JJ's small cries made her choke on her words, lips forming a tight line to stop them.
"Come here." Emily opened her arms, and JJ immediately crashed into them. She sniffled and buried her face into Emily's shoulder. "It's ok." The older woman hushed and let JJ's tears wet her dress and neck.
"I love you, Emily. I'm so sorry," JJ muffled, hands gripping onto the fabric on the back.
Emily nodded and stroked her hair. "It's ok. I love you, too." She closed her eyes and let the blonde stay in her arms for a few more seconds. She decided to kiss the side of JJ's head, still stroking her hair. The action made JJ pull back and stare into Emily's eyes. Her own blue ones flickered down to her lips and back up into Emily's eyes. Emily awkwardly nodded with a small smile, "We- we should get going."
She started walking until she felt a hand tugging at hers. JJ pulled her flush against her body and cupped her face with both hands. She kissed Emily, sighing when their lips connected. The older woman was a little shocked but rested her hands on JJ's waist, pulling her closer. JJ took this time to pour in all the love she's had for Emily for so long, and Emily reveled in this moment to receive something she's yearned for a long time.
Emily pulled back to rest her forehead against hers and they both closed their eyes. JJ lifted a hand to hover her fingers on Emily's cheek, lightly tracing one over her jawline.
"I'm gonna miss you," Emily whispered with a voice crack. "You're gonna do great."
JJ nodded and whispered, "I'll miss you, too." Two seconds later, she pulled back and exhaled out a breath. "Well, it's time to go now," she said, pointing outside.
"Yeah," Emily sighed. JJ held the door open for her again, watching Emily go back to Andrew. She saw how happy Emily really seemed with him, as she interlocked their fingers together and smiled at each other. JJ chewed on her lower lip and looked down with a sigh before closing the door and going back to Will.
Everyone was out on the dance floor, talking amongst themselves and dancing. Andrew asked Emily if she wanted water and started walking up to the table, pouring it in two glasses. JJ stepped away from the dance floor and decided to approach him, exhaling out a breath. She nervously rubbed her hands and tapped on his shoulder.
"Hey, Andrew. Can we talk for a moment?"
He shrugged. "Sure. What's up?"
JJ took another deep breath and quickly glanced behind him to see a smiling Emily dancing with the others. She looked back at Andrew.
"Take great care of her," she simply said.
Andrew furrowed his eyebrows at her, so she explained a little further while still being vague. "Emily. She's… she's a really amazing person," JJ said, casting her glance towards the other woman, making Andrew follow. "I promise you, she's not someone you just meet every day, so don't let this one go."
Andrew looked at JJ, who was still staring at Emily from a distance. "You really care about her, don't you?"
His voice broke through JJ's little reverie before she sighed and sadly smiled. "More than you know."
Andrew noticed the way JJ looked at his girlfriend. It was the same way he looked at her. "You love her."
JJ's eyes widened and she stammered. "I- um," she slumped her shoulders slightly in defeat. "I do, but… I want her to be happy, and I think you can do that for her."
Andrew nodded in understanding and smiled. "I'll do my best." He wasn't looking for any blessing from JJ or anyone on the team, but he wasn't jealous either. JJ knew Emily for a very long time, so he understands. Andrew wanted to make Emily happy and so did JJ.
"Thank you." JJ smiled at him, a genuine one. They both went back to the dance floor, Andrew handing a glass to Emily and her thanking him. Her eyes looked over to JJ behind him before smiling softly at her. JJ reciprocated with one of her own and a small nod.
This is what Emily wanted, the blonde knew that. Someone who would love and care for her, even if that someone wasn't JJ. She was letting go and moving on, and so was JJ.