January was just as cold and snowy as December had been.
Aram and Yvonne's first implant of three embryos hadn't taken and needless to say they were heartbroken. They had some more frozen ones but they'd have to wait several months to try again.
Liz had left work altogether about midway through the month and Ressler was joining her at the end, which was now only a day away.
They had been to the OB the day before at 36 weeks.
And now Liz sat on the phone with her mother in law, something that had been happening a lot more lately as everyone waited on the arrival of the babies. With the kids in school and Ressler at work for 8 and a half hours a day Liz had a lot of time she wasn't sure how to fill. Talking helped.
"So what happened exactly?" Lisa asked her.
She was laying in bed on her side, the most comfortable position she had these days, her phone lay next to her on speaker.
"I'm not sure" said Liz, "I guess of the 10 eggs that they fertilized only 3 were viable and so they decided to implant all 3 and I guess - I guess they just didn't adhere to the uterine wall."
"Oh" said Lisa. All of this was beyond her, it was after her time. If it had been readily available during her childbearing years then - well Ressler might have been born years earlier. Or he might have had more siblings. It had taken her and Robert 8 long years to conceive him and they'd lost several others in the meantime. "So when they put them in- They were already several weeks developed?" she asked, still not understanding but knowing that fertilized eggs generally didn't adhere until week 3 or 4 after conception in any case.
"I think about 3 weeks yes" said Liz, "they do it in a petri dish."
"Oh, that seems terribly unnatural."
"I know" said Liz, "but if it works?"
"That's true" agreed Lisa. "Still I'm glad that you and Don didn't struggle. I always wondered if he'd have a hard time like his father and I did."
"Nope" said Liz, laughing. "I don't think it's always genetic." She wasn't sure how much to say to the woman, considering that she felt like a mother and she was Don's mother, but Liz found herself growing closer and closer to her as time passed. "Don and I - well it was one of the first few times we slept together. And I technically had an IUD at the time. We found out later that it was defective. And Don was tested pretty heavily when he was injured. He's fine. His counts are all very high."
"Oh that's good" said Lisa, "I'm glad you don't have to struggle. It's just so difficult."
"I know it must be" said Liz, "It sure is tough on Aram and Yvonne. I'm not at all sure they should be working. But they refuse to go home."
"They probably need it to take their mind off of it" said Lisa. "Believe me, when we were trying for Donnie... I thanked God every day for Robbie."
"I can imagine" Liz admitted. "I'm glad it's not us. I can't begin to imagine how Don would be. He wants it so bad."
"Are you guys ready?" asked Lisa.
"Oh yah" said Liz, "I mean kind of. He's more then ready - our nursery has been standing empty for weeks. And he just wants them to be born so he can see them and hold them and feel them, I know. And the kids are excited too."
"How about you?" asked Lisa.
"I mean I'm excited" admitted Liz, "but also terrified. Every time I think about them coming out I just-" she shuddered at the thought. "Do you know what the doctor said yesterday?" she paused for drama's sake, not because she actually expected an answer, "She said they weigh over 6lbs a piece. And technically I have a month to go."
"You think you'll make it?" asked Lisa.
"I don't know. I think I'll hang out as long as I can but I don't think we'll make it all the way."
The doctor had said something else the day before but Liz wasn't about to share it with her mother in law. That was - no sex. The doctor had said that considering the size of the babies and the pressure they put on her body, penetration at this point could be enough to trigger labor. Well that and the contractions that accompanied orgasm could do the same. So simply, no sex.
It hadn't come as a surprise and to be honest it had been almost two weeks since they had anyways because Liz just didn't have the desire anymore and the logistics were quite tricky. Ressler was very understanding and had half expected as much he admitted later.
For Liz - well she knew at least that she had a backup plan if she ever really was done and needed them out.
"It's exhausting" she said. "They are just so big and so draining. I lay here all day and I still have no energy. I feel like I'm just an incubator now. I only get up to get food and drink and go pee. That's literally it. I have a hard time doing a load of laundry."
"I know Liz. Just remember in the end it will all be worth it."
"I know." She groaned and rolled carefully in the bed.
Lisa must have heard her groan because she asked, "your back?"
"Yah, lower back. And my legs. I think they are pinching my sciatic nerves because sometimes my legs feel funny."
"Well what helps?" asked Lisa, trying to come up with coping strategies for her.
"Lying down, not moving much. And Don. He always gives me massages and rubs lotion on my back. Trying to manage the stretch marks too you know."
"Oh yes" Liz could hear the smile. "I remember those."
"The pain is more generalized now" Liz continued. "And not constant, more later at night when I'm tired. I'll be glad to have Ressler home all the time."
"And I'm sure he'll be glad to be there dear" said Lisa.
"I don't know" said Liz, "I yelled at him the other day. He didn't deserve it, he was just trying to help. He has this pathological need to help me and I - I don't understand it. I lost it at him for hovering and I - I really didn't even want him to go. I just don't know what I was doing. I got all hormonal and short. Poor guy. He didn't even know what he did but I know he was hurt. Why does he always have to be so sensitive?"
"He's his father's son that way" said Lisa. "But he's always been sensitive. And in this scenario - well I'd imagine he would be more then usual. He's just not the best with words. Never has been. He doesn't know how to say that he loves you and wants to take care of you so he shows it instead. And I could see how that might come across as overbearing."
"I think he wants to be here but I also can imagine that he's sometimes wanting the break that work offers."
"I don't think so Liz. If I know him as well as I think I do - then there's no place he'd rather be then at your side."
Liz smiled at the thought. She wished he was at her side right now. Wished for the sound of his voice, the reassurance of his breath, the weight of his body displacing her own in the mattress, the heat of him reaching out to hold her.
"I know. He's counting the days. He keeps saying 'I can't believe we're going to have two whole babies!"'
Lisa laughed. That did sound like him.
"Yah, they're getting big" said Liz again, stretching as she felt them try to settle inside of her. "Baby A is upside down, baby B is not yet but they've both dropped into the pelvis so they must be getting ready too. And they already weigh more individually then Agnes did."
"Agnes was small?" asked Lisa.
"She sure didn't feel like it but yes. She was just an itty bitty five pounder." Liz sighed. "These babies are big brutes compared to her. They lash out so hard that it hurts. Especially when Don rubs my belly. They respond to his touch and voice and - I mean it's great to see them connecting - but the babies have long legs and they tent my skin so much that it hurts."
"Oh, honey" said Lisa.
"I know" said Liz. "I know." It was quiet for a minute, then Liz decided to change the subject. "It was so cute the other day. The kids has the puppies inside and they were all sitting on the couch with me feeling the kicks and stuff. And the puppies noticed it too. They were like transfixed. I - I'm pretty sure that they know that there's something crazy going on inside there. They laid their heads on my lap, right by my belly, and just nuzzled it."
"Oh that's adorable" said Lisa. "Every family needs a good dog or two. It's even better when they grow up together with the kids."
"I agree" said Liz, "and they're growing up fast. I call them puppies but they really aren't anymore. They are huge already compared to when we got them two months ago."
"Well enough about the dogs" said Lisa. "I'm more interested in my first-to-be-born grandchildren. Are they boys or girls? Did you find out?"
Liz laughed.
"I'm not going to tell you" she said. "Don and I know, yah, and we want to keep it that way until they're born. So I'm not telling."
"Oh, come on. Give a new grama some joy would you?"
"Haha, you'll just have to wait and see. It won't be long now. And I could give you more you if-" Liz stopped. She'd almost blurted something that she wasn't sure would be recieved well.
"If what?"
"If you move down here to be with us."
It was quiet on the other end.
"Have you thought about it at all?" asked Liz. "We'd love to have you. You don't have to live with us if you don't want but we'd love to have close by. And that way you could get to see your grandkids, including the two little nuggets on the way. And we sure wouldn't say no if you offered to babysit on occasion."
"I've thought about it sometimes" admitted Lisa. "More and more often all the time. I'd love to. I was actually talking to Robbie the other night and he suggested that he buy a home down there with a suite that I could have. He has a job waiting if he wants and I could list my place up here. But honestly - winter isn't a good time to list a home. I'd like to wait for spring and I know Robbie needs some time to wrap things up up here. Besides I know you think it would be great now to have me around when the babies are brand new but honestly - this is a first for you and Don and you shouldn't have anyone else for that. It's special. Let it be special."
"Okay" said Liz. She was perfectly alright with that answer. In the spring. Then Lisa would move down. She could wait until then. Until then she'd survive on phone calls.
Soon enough she'd be too busy to think about that anyway.
She heard the sounds of a door opening somewhere in the distance and sure enough a second later Don appeared in the doorway of their bedroom peeling his winter coat from his shoulders.
"It sure it cold out there" he said as he took two giant steps to the bed and promptly dove under the covers next to her, bringing the cold of the snow with him. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing freezing fingers to her warm skin and pulling her into his body which felt a lot like an icicle. "Warm me up" he said.
She squealed and tried to wriggle out of his grasp.
"I'm on the phone with your Mom" she said.
"Oh, hi Mom!" he greeted her enthusiastically before burrowing further under the covers. Liz lay the phone above their heads on the pillow they currently shared, on speakerphone, and then turned to hold her frozen husband, slowly thawing his body with the heat of her own and their bed.
"And just where exactly did you manage to lose our children?" asked Liz, knowing the kids weren't with him or they'd also be in the bed by now.
"Aram and Yvonne asked if they could have them for supper. They said it was because they wouldn't see them for a bit with both of us on leave but I think it's really because they wanted a distraction and some joy. I agreed. Aram swore he'd have them back by nine. Until then it's just you and me."
"And me" said his Mom somewhere above their heads.
"And Mom" echoed Ressler. Liz felt awkward talking to her mother in law while laying this close to the one person who connected them both at the same time. But it wasn't like she could see exactly how close she was holding Don, pressed to her breasts in a lovers hold, and anything more was off the table.
She felt his muscles relax slowly and his grip on her loosen but it was still several minutes before he came up for air. He undraped himself and they lay wrapped together beneath the covers.
His Mom must have noticed the silence because after a quick conversation in which she repeated what she had last told Liz about moving to Ressler she said she had to go and hung up, leaving the young couple to each other's company in blissful comfort.