Chapter 11

As he stood outside the door of the house in Amezrou, Shikamaru was re-visiting Ino's assertion that the only thing that might get hurt was his pride. Temari had two psychopathic, homicidal brothers and she was staying at the house of the man who trained them? He was knocking at the door of the man who taught them everything they knew? He was beyond screwed.

He was expecting Baki at the door, hoping for Temari but instead it was the housekeeper who met him. She took his bag, offered him slippers, exchanging them for his dusty shoes and showed him to a little washroom to the side where he could rinse the dust from his face and hands. Then she bid him wait in the outer courtyard near the fountain.

He wandered uselessly around the fountain and looked up anxiously at the sound of someone entering but it was only the housekeeper returning to offer him tea and refreshments. She set them on a little table, a tray of oranges, dates and little pastries with almonds. She served the tea to him in a glass set in an ornate filigree holder. It was steaming hot and fragrant, rich in a way very different from the tea at home.

He'd been in Suna before, knew that customs and food were all different from those at home. All the Five Great Nations were unique in those regards. But for the first time it struck him that this was home for Temari. This wasn't 'different' for her, it was the way things were supposed to be.

In a few minutes, Baki and Temari came into the courtyard. Shikamaru inhaled sharply. Baki looked just as he remembered, but Temari was...gorgeous. She was in blue, a rich royal blue caftan with elaborate silver embroidery along the sweetheart neckline, meeting at the center and trailing down the length of the dress in two symmetrical rows. It was accented at her waist with a wide belt adorned thickly with similar patterns in silver.

He greeted them both but he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was stunning. Shikamaru thought he had never seen her look more beautiful. He'd never seen her wear anything like it before. Traveling through Wind country he had certainly noticed that, just like the customs and food, there was a different style of dress from those back home in Konoha's region. But shinobi uniforms were fairly functional and that is what she usually wore when working. When they were off duty or out on a date in Konoha she simply wore casual clothes comparable to what the other kunoichi from the village wore.

But now she looked beautiful... unearthly and... nervous. She was pale and he almost thought her hands were trembling.

"Hey," he said rather stupidly, not knowing what to say with Baki present.

"Hey, yourself," she said and even her voice sounded fainter than he remembered.

What was wrong with her? He was absolutely terrified. Was she ill? Didn't people say that pregnancy made women glow? Temari was not glowing. She was beautiful, yes, but also pale with her eyes wide, breath shallow. He noticed that Baki had one hand gently at her elbow, almost as if he were supporting her, She clasped her hands in front of her and now he was sure it was to stop the trembling.

"Temari?" Baki asked wondering if she wanted him to go or stay.

She took a long shuddering breath. "It's okay Baki. We'll just talk in the courtyard if that's okay?"

Baki considered him carefully and then casually dismissed him with a curt nod, barely acknowledging his existence. But he turned to look at Temari and his eyes were strangely tender for such a gruff shinobi. "If you need anything, let me know. I'll be right inside."

Temari thanked him as he went back into the main portion of the house. She motioned for Shikamaru to follow her. There were some marble benches around the sides of the courtyard but the walls of the fountain itself were low enough and wide enough to sit on and that is what Temari chose. The water babbled pleasantly. The entire effect of the courtyard with its lush plants, white walls and blue and green patterened tile floor was soothing. Or it would have been under normal circumstances.

The two of them were absolutely terrified of the situation - Temari because of her past and Shikamaru because he feared that one way or another he was losing her.

"Temari," his voice was soft and low. "Temari, I...what can I do? What do you want me to do?"

"Do you want this?" she asked, looking up at him from where she had been studying the water, trailing one hand in it listlessly.

"I do," he answered sincerely. "And...if I took it for granted you did, too, then I'm sorry."

She had dropped her gaze and was studying the floor tiles now. "I...want to be able to give this to you. I want to want it...but I...it's just...I'm afraid."

Shikamaru tried to sound helpful and reassuring but he totally blew it, "I'm sure most girls are afraid of having a baby," he started, not realizing until the words were out how utterly dismissive it sounded.

"I'm not most girls," she said looking up at him. Normally she would have snapped at him for saying something stupid like that but now her voice and eyes just looked heavy and tired, like she didn't even have the energy to be mad at him.

"I know. Believe me, I know that. I'm sorry it came out that way. Tell me. I'll shut up and listen." he reached to take her hand and she flinched away as if his touch burned.

She sat up rigid, hands between her knees. Simply clasping them together was no longer enough to stop the trembling. "I..I...when I was little I...," she started several times. I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice hoarse. "I can't say it. I thought I could but I can't. Baki can tell you." Then she rose and fled back inside.

Shikamaru was hurt by the way she acted to his touch and he wanted to be angry. He had come all this way to talk to her, not her old sensei. But watching her flee he couldn't be angry. This wasn't Temari at all. And even though he was a guy and had no frame of reference he was pretty sure this was beyond moodiness brought on by pregnancy hormones. Frozen for a moment, he started to follow her inside but Baki was already exiting, He put his hand up as Shikamaru started to enter.

"I'll assume she didn't tell you much by how short your conversation was," the older shinobi said with a sigh. He gave Shikamaru an appraising look. The boy was in anguish. He obviously cared for her. "Come and sit and I'll tell you what I can."

He motioned for Shikamaru to take one of the seats next to the little table where the refreshments were set out. Pouring the tea he served them both. "Tell me what you know about Suna's jinchuuriki?"

"Umm...Shukaku was sealed into Gaara when he was born?"

Baki nodded, "And his mother, Temari's mother died when he was born."

It was Shikamaru's turn to nod. He knew that. He knew it as a fact, the same way he knew that Kushina, Naruto's mother had died when he was born. Dying in childbirth, suffering a miscarriage like Mom had, it was understandable that women would be nervous about the whole baby thing.

"What you don't know is that Temari was there," Baki said flatly.

"What?"

"She was there. In the room, hiding. No one realized it. Three years old and she saw it all."

Shikamaru felt like someone had sucker punched him in the gut, like he couldn't breathe.

Baki continued. "Chiyo was hardly a midwife, she simply butchered Karura to get what she...what the Kazekage... what the village all wanted."

Shikamaru sat in stunned silence, unable to conjure up an invective that would fit the situation. Images of little Mirai seeing Kurenai like that intruded on his thoughts and he quickly banished them. "How did...how do you know?"

"Because I was the one who found her," Baki said simply. He poured himself some more tea and added two sugar cubes, looking intently at the spoon as he stirred them in his cup. "Everyone else had left to show off the jinchuriiki. I went back into the room. I saw..." Shikamaru head the catch in his voice as he continued. "I saw how they had left Karura's body. It was...she deserved better. I went to cover her body with the sheet. That's when I saw the footprints and hand prints and realized she must have snuck in to see her new baby brother."

"Temari?" Shikamaru whispered.

"Footprints on the floor, handprints on the sheet. In blood. They were so small. I knew what had happened. I found her hiding with Kankuro and kept them both with me for days. No one cared, they were all congratulating themselves. She was catatonic for three days, then finally started to talk a little and eat a little. After five days she was back. I knew she had...locked it away in her mind somehow. No one else ever knew and she and I never spoke of it until now."

The young Nara man was now studying his own teacup, not really having any idea how to respond.

"And it would seem," Baki continued, "that her own pregnancy has triggered the memories she was suppressing. I suppose I have you to thank for that."

Shikamaru looked up at him wondering if this was the point at which he died.

"I mean that. It's obvious you care for her. She would have recovered the memories eventually. I'm glad she has you to help her." Baki's voice was neither soft nor kind but it did seem sincere.

"Can I see her?"

"I think that would be a good thing for all of us. Her room is upstairs. First one on the left."