Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.
…
"And so, while there were no casualties, Kamen Rider Revice and all Fenix operatives have received lifetime bans from the Japanese Philatelic Society," Samantha told her viewers as the upper right corner of the screen displayed an image of Kamen Riders Revi and Vice, one holding a postage stamp and the other a Vistamp with question marks over their heads. "Kamen Rider Vice was heard complaining about how was he supposed to know there were more than one type of stamp and how confusing that was before being forcibly sucked back into his partner's body, after which only Ikki Igarashi's half of the argument could be heard.
"In other news," the Kikainoid said as the image in the upper right corner changed to show the familiar graphic of ninjas, dinosaurs, and Youkai squaring off at the base of Mount Fuji with Star Fortress Orochimecha rising in the background overlaid by the number nine. "Today marks the ninth week of the Youkalien invasion, and the ninth round of the ongoing competition between the invaders and the Diningers. Veteran Sentai correspondent Fierce Beast Fly-Fist Bae is currently at the scene of this week's event. Bae, how are things looking over there?"
The screen switched to show Bae, wearing a stocking cap, comically oversized scarf, and tiny parka hovering in front of a huge ice-skating rink with towering ramps, slopes, pits, spikes, loops, and other obstacles made of ice rising up from the frozen surface. Stands had been erected on the periphery of the rink with spectators dressed in warm winter wear, and the surrounding park was covered in snow, and children could be seen frolicking about in the unseasonal winter wonderland. "Pretty frosty, Samantha, if you'll pardon the atrocious pun!" The fly buzzed, his breath visible. "As you can see from the rink behind me, today we are having an ice-skating obstacle course, where the winner will be determined not simply by who crosses the finish line first, but by how stylish their technique is, with extra points awarded for showy moves and expertly-executed stunts."
"And who will be competing today, Bae?" Samantha asked, the screen splitting in half to show Bae on one side and the Kikainoid back at the studio.
"Well, as one might expect, on the Dininger side we have Mozu Kariya, who, due to being the lightest and fastest of the team, is the obvious choice for an event like this," Bae explained as the camera zoomed out and panned the side to show Mozu, already transformed, doing stretches, ice skates attached to the undersides of her boots. "And for the Youkaliens, they will be represented today by Lady Yukinojo, a high-ranking member of Hegemon Kyukogo's court and apparently a skilled dancer and diplomat. She is currently getting ready in her hut," he said, gesturing to a palatial structure made of ice which gleamed so brilliantly it might as well have been made of diamond situated on the other side of the rink.
"I would hardly call that a 'hut,' Bae," Samantha remarked.
"Compared to her primary residence, it might as well be."
"Bae, I notice that the rest of the Diningers are present," Samantha commented, noting that Akira, Kenji, Sora, and Jiro were all standing near Mozu, wearing winter versions of their ninja outfits. "But Tetsu Kirishima is still absent."
Bae made a face at this. "Yes, I've been informed that Tetsu is still away on his "training journey" to help him gain the enlightenment necessary to obtain the rank of chuunin, fulfilling the task his mentor Ankylojonin set him to atone for releasing Kurohonema the Deathbringer and lying about it for over a decade to prove himself worthy of becoming a Dininger again."
"I see. Has there been any word on when he will return, Bae?" Samantha inquired.
"There has not," he told her. "In the meantime, Jiro Tsuyoi will continue filling in for him on the team until he returns, just as she has for the last few weeks."
"So I see. When will the event begin, Bae?" Samantha asked.
"As soon as Lady Yukinojo is ready. It shouldn't be much longer now, as a distinguished aristocrat with the Hegemon's favor, she's used to high-stakes situations like this, and I'm certain she'll be more than capable of performing with all the dignity and grace expected of her station."
…
"I'm not ready! I can't do this! I can't perform with all the dignity and grace expected of my station!" Yukinojo screamed, hyperventilating, moments away from a nervous breakdown.
"Shh, my lady, calm yourself," Setpen, her most trusted slave and handmaiden, purred soothingly, rubbing her mistress's shoulders to try and help her relax.
It helped, but only a little. "I'm going up against Mozu Kariya, lover and teammate of Akira Tyruga, making her one of the most capable women on the planet, considering she's captured the eye of Her Divinity Herself!" Yukinojo wailed. "If I win, I'll make her upset, which will make Akira upset, which will make Her Divinity upset, but if I lose, I'll disappoint her, which is even worse!"
"Don't talk like that, sistress," Setpen said sharply, pressing perhaps a little too hard on Yukinojo's shoulders and causing her to yelp. "You know Her Divinity would never be disappointed in you, and she won't mind if you lose. All that matters is you go out there and do your best. You know that."
Yukinojo sighed, some of the tension ebbing from her body. "I… I do know that, yes, but… My stupid, broken brain can't stop worrying-"
"Your brain is not broken," the handmaiden said firmly.
"It feels like it is sometimes…" Yukinojo whimpered.
"Sistress. Look in the mirror. What do you see?" The handmaiden said gently.
Yukinojo stared in the body-length ice mirror situated in front of her. Brilliant blue eyes brimming with tears stared back at her from a crystalline face of such radiant beauty that even the Crystalians would've been dazzled, her visage covered by the clear crystalline faceplate of an incredibly elaborate astronaut helmet with a pair of crystalline ice horns growing from the top. Her body was wrapped in a form-hugging kimono partially resembling a spacesuit which at first glance appeared to be pure white, but on closer inspection was a live feed of an intense blizzard, each snowflake lovingly rendered down to the smallest facet, a set of red cables resembling an obi wrapped around her waist connected to a small tank on her back which fit into her helmet, providing her with the nitrogen-rich air her species needed to breathe. Her long sleeves flared at the wrists, their interior a gentle light blue, and each of her fingers was adorned with a ring bearing a snowflake crest, a similar crest carved into the crystalline flesh between her neck and her sizable, partially exposed breasts. Beautiful blue-white hair made of strands of ice flowed down the back of her helmet past her knees, the whole mass chiming melodically as it moved and brushed against itself.
Standing behind her, almost a head taller – which Yukinojo had always thought was supremely unfair – was a woman clad in a kuroko outfit decorated with snowflakes which did nothing to hide her shapely figure, her veil drawn back to reveal an attractive purple-skinned face with no nose and five bright orange eyes, small mouth set in a kind smile.
"I see a proud, strong, beautiful woman who knows exactly what she wants from life," Yukinojo said morosely. "And I'm there, too."
Setpen tutted. "You mustn't say such things, sistress!" She said, hugging Yukinojo from behind. "You are an accomplished diplomat who has brought almost as many worlds into the Hegemony through peaceful negotiation as General Onimusha has through military might, are admired and beloved throughout our great civilization, have the ear of Her Divinity herself, and have helped your noble house reach heights even your esteemed mother never thought possible!"
"I would give it all up for just one more day with her," Yukinojo lamented. "I miss her so much, Setpen."
Setpen's face fell for a moment. "I miss her too, my lady. She would be very proud of the woman you have become."
"I wish I could believe that," Yukinojo murmured miserably.
Setpen squeezed her in sympathy. "Perhaps you should focus on the match, sistress? You do love skating. I remember how excited you were when the event was announced."
"That was back when I thought we were going to be hosting it in our territory," Yukinojo groused. "Not… Not out here, surrounded by so many humans! You've seen the news, Setpen! They hate us! They hate us, and we are only trying to help!"
"Well, remember, not everyone sees it that way," Setpen pointed out.
The temperature dropped slightly as Yukinojo clenched her teeth. "Yes… Yes, I know that all too well."
"And besides, many of them do not hate us," Setpen reminded her. "Thousands have volunteered to submit to us, with more joining their ranks every day."
"Which has only incensed the fury of those who haven't, those who see us as a threat," Yukinojo fretted. "There are so many hateful websites formed by people who want to drive us out, mobs of protesters, whisperings of plots against Her Divinity, politicians turning a blind eye to human-on-Youkalien violence, attacks on outreach centers, biased journalists whipping people up into a frenzy… How do we know that there aren't assassins and terrorists out there, waiting to kill me the instant I walk out onto the rink? There could be snipers, suicide bombers, a camouflaged fire-breathing giant robot-"
"I'm sure none of those things are out there," Setpen told her soothingly. "Our security forces would've caught something like that if there were."
"Our security forces didn't catch it on Onyx!" Yukinojo snapped, the temperature dropping well below freezing, jagged spikes of ice erupting from the ground around her. Startled, she took a deep breath and forced herself to calm, raising the temperature and causing the spikes to break. "I… I'm sorry, that outburst was most unbecoming-"
"It's okay," Setpen assured her. "You never need to hide what you're feeling from me. Remember?"
Yukinojo smiled gratefully at the handmaiden. "Of course. We are sisters, after all."
They hugged, causing the temperature to rise a little more.
"I suppose I am being a bit silly," Yukinojo admitted, laughing sheepishly. "And if there were an assassination attempt, I'm certain the Diningers would thwart it, just as they have before. It truly is a shame they are on the opposite side, though hopefully not for much longer."
Setpen smiled and nodded. "Agreed. Are you ready to go out and face them, then?"
Yukinojo nodded. "Yes, I think I am-" She glanced at her reflection and froze. Her eyes widened in horror. "Oh no. No, no, no, NO!"
"Sistress?" Setpen asked in confusion as Yukinojo leaned forward and carefully inspected her face.
"My flawless face is no longer flawless!" Yukinojo wailed, pointing to several glaring – to her at least – flaws in the ice making up her face. "I can't go out there looking like this! I'm representing the glory of the Hegemony and House Kisei, if I can't shine to my fullest, they'll think I'm not taking this seriously! I'll embarrass myself before everyone! I'll become a laughingstock, and nobody will respect the Hegemon anymore, and my House will be ruined, and the two of us will have two go into exile as wondering vagabonds and apostates, and we'll have to whore ourselves out just to put food on the table, and while you would do marvelously we both know I'm far too fragile for such rough handling-"
"I'm sure nobody will know they're there," Setpen offered quickly.
"Perhaps not," Yukinojo admitted. "But I will know they're there, and I'll be so nervous worrying about it I'll probably make some big mistake and cost us the match! And while it would be bad enough to lose, if I were to lose because I just couldn't focus properly-"
As Yukinojo started hyperventilating and the temperature rapidly started dropping again, Setpen quickly interceded, recognizing her mistress was starting to spiral. "Don't worry, I'm sure some Crystalian rock polish will fix it right up… oh. Oh dear."
"What?!" Yukinojo wailed. "What's wrong now?!"
Setpen offered her mistress an awkward grin. "I, ah, seem to have left the polish back at the fortress."
"You forgot?!" Yukinojo shrieked.
Setpen bowed her head in apology. "My lady, I'm so sorry-"
"No, no, it's not your fault," Yukinojo said hurriedly before Setpen could start spiraling herself. "Considering how big an occasion this was and how much of a mess I've been making of myself, it's understandable for a detail of that to slip your mind." She sighed. "I don't suppose we can delay the event long enough for you to run back and get the polish?"
Setpen shook her head. "I don't think so, no. And if word got out as to why you asked for the delay…"
Yukinojo grimaced and nodded. "Right, I'll look like a typical shallow, vain noblewoman, which will reflect even more poorly on Her Divinity for choosing someone like that to represent her." She sighed. "There's nothing for it, then. I will simply have to go out as I am, and try very very hard not to drive myself insane worrying what other people will think of me."
Both of them knew there was very little chance that would actually work.
And then Setpen was struck with insparkleration!
"Wait… I may have another idea," Setpen proclaimed, checking her magic mirror. "Aha! There's a jewelry store a few blocks from here that carries Crystalian rock polish. If I hurry there and back, I should have you ready just in time for your performance!"
"That far? In hostile territory, with angry humans everywhere probably salivating at the mouth at the chance to kill a Youkalien or their loyal slaves?" Yukinojo cried in alarm. "No, I cannot allow this, Setpen! It's far too dangerous!"
"Don't worry, I'll take some Uchuhage with me for protection," Setpen assured her. "I'm sure it will be fine, I'll be back before you know it!"
"But… No, no, I can't allow you to risk yourself on my behalf, Setpen-" Yukinojo protested.
"Sistress, it would be my honor to go, and it is my duty to serve you in all things, is it not?" Setpen pointed out.
Yukinojo bit her lip, looking rather unhappy. "I… Yes, but…" She grasped her handmaiden's hands. "Setpen, now that mother is gone, you are all I have left. If… If anything were to happen to you-"
"Then I will come back as a Youkalien, just as I promised I would all those years ago," Setpen reminded her gently.
"The process doesn't always work!" Yukinojo cried desperately. "And what if it takes you ages to come back? It's not always instantaneous!" She started trembling, crystalline tears running down her cheeks. "Setpen, if you were to die, I… I can't picture a world without you. I need you. Without you, I-I am nothing!"
Setpen gently removed her hands, hugged Yukinojo, and kissed her helmet. "No, you don't. You are your mother's daughter, and are just as strong as she was, if not stronger. And even if I'm not physically here, I will always be with you."
"Setpen…" Yukinojo whimpered.
Setpen gave her mistress a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, sistress. It's just a quick errand. You have nothing to worry about."
…
A few minutes later…
A bright smile on her face, Setpen left the jewelry store, a small paper bag containing the rock polish as well as a number of baubles that had caught her eye – from Crystalia itself, according to the clerk, and given their shine she was more than ready to believe it! – Held in one hand. Yukinojo always loved pretty, sparkly things, and these gifts should help put her in a better mood.
"You have what you need?" One of the Uchuhage escorts, who'd been guarding the door, asked as he and his partner fell into step alongside her.
Setpen nodded. "Yes, and a few additional trinkets as well. My sistress will be most pleased."
The Uchuhage nodded. "Then let's get you back to her as quickly as possible, before she gets too worried."
"I'm sure she'll be relieved that nothing happened after all-" the other soldier started, when suddenly a large black unmarked van screeched to a halt in front of them.
The Uchuhages immediately shoved the startled Setpen behind them and drew their knives. "Don't worry, Setpen, we've got this-"
The side door of the van slid open, revealing a Riotrooper, a ZECTrooper, and an Invading Horseshoe Crab Raider. The trio immediately opened fire, the Uchuhages shaking and screaming as their bodies were perforated by armor-piercing rounds from the pseudo-Riders' weapons.
Nearby civilians screamed and ran as gunfire echoed across the street, and Setpen stared in shock and disbelief as her very dead escorts collapsed to the ground, pupils shrinking as she started hyperventilating from fright, flashbacks of that day on Onyx racing through her mind. The bag with her recent purchases fell from her hand, and if this were a TV show there would probably have been a dramatic slow-motion zoom as it landed on the ground, the jewels she'd bought tumbling out onto the sidewalk and the bottle of rock polish shattered, its contents spilling on the pavement and intermingling with the blood oozing from the bodies of the deceased Youkaliens.
The Raider nodded at the two troopers, and they jumped out of the van, grabbed the shaken Setpen by either arm, and dragged her back inside the vehicle, putting a bag over her head. Slamming the door shut, the Raider nodded at the getaway driver, an Abbadon Rider, who immediately took off, the van peeling down the street and leaving two corpses and a lot of confused and frightened civilians behind.