I walk into work the next day ragged and exhausted. It's been months since my last nightmare. I'd almost forgotten how draining they could be. Almost.

Unfortunately, I'm not met with an easy day, as the first thing I see sitting on my desk is a copy of the Daily Prophet.

Golden Girl up to her old Gold Digging Tricks?

Hermione Granger (ex-wife of Ron Weasley, former girlfriend of Harry Potter and Viktor Krum) has been seen visiting the home of England's most infamous divorcee - Narcissa Malfoy.

The divorce proceedings between Narcissa and her ex-husband Lucius Malfoy were private and short, but sources say the divorce was bitter and spiteful. Is the Golden Girl playing her old hand and offering the devastated ex-Malfoy a shoulder to cry on in hopes of running away with the Black family fortune? Or is she simply taking advantage of a poor old woman who has been solitary for the ten years since the war?

Is she perhaps seeing the young Malfoy heir, who is married to Astoria Greengrass? It wouldn't be the first time we've seen Granger try to break up a happy couple for the sake of some extra gold to line her vault.

Only time will tell which fortune the Gold-digging Girl is after!

I spend the day literally locked in my office. Nobody comes in or out, and I only accept memos from other department heads. The frustration bubbling under my skin is so potent that I know casting would be a bad idea. I focus on getting work done as best as I can, trying not to set any quills alight in my hand.

I can't believe the gall of that woman! The instant the work day is done, I make my way to the records department, only briefly pausing to smile apologetically at the clerk who was about to lock up as I walked in. "I promise I won't be long!" I call as I briskly make my way to the Animagus Registry.

If she isn't here I am immediately filing a report against her. Unfortunately, my eyes instantly land on Rita Skeeter, registered as a beetle. I definitely do not slam the door on my way out of the department, but it's a close call.

By the time I've made my way up to the floo atrium - because I definitely don't trust myself to Apparate - it's almost completely empty. The few stragglers that are hanging around mercifully ignore me, though perhaps they're only doing so because I am visibly upset. I step up to the nearest fireplace, trying to think of somewhere close enough to my flat that I can walk home. There's really only one person I can think of.

I cast some floo powder into the fireplace, calling "Tonks residence!"

"Sh- Hermione?! You scared the hell out of me! Is this about Cissy? Already?"

"No, no, sorry. I just don't trust myself to Apparate at the moment, and you live near my flat. Would it be too much of a bother for me to step through so I can walk home?"

"Oh, not at all, come on through." Once I am through, Andromeda dusts me off with a quick wave of her hand. I didn't realize Andromeda is proficient in wandless magic. "I suppose you saw that article, then?"

"Unfortunately, yes." It's hard to keep the frustration out of my voice. "Why does everyone think I'm sleeping with one of them? First it was Harry, now half the bloody population of wizarding Britain. If I ever get my hands on Rita Skeeter again, I'll- well I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be nice!" Before I can continue my rant, I have a mug of tea shoved into my hands with no warning. When did she even-

"It's been a few days since we last had a chat, Hermione. How has your clandestine relationship with my estranged sister been going?" Not the most subtle topic shift I've ever heard, but at this point I think I'll take anything to get my mind off of Skeeter. She leads me to sit next to her on the couch. "I can't imagine that she's been particularly easy to deal with since your falling out."

"If anything she's relaxed around me. We acquired some of- some new research materials that will hopefully take our project in a new direction." Andromeda notices my near-slipup, her eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly. Narcissa's words about Master Legilimens pop into my head and I quickly throw up some basic Occlumency shielding, not wanting her to catch any surface thoughts about our project. "I think we're both rather excited for some progress."

"Cissy? Relaxed?"

"Well, as relaxed as Narcissa ever gets, I suppose." I offer a noncommittal shrug, continuing, "She doesn't speak so stiffly around me, and she shows emotion more freely."

"Well damn. Cissy making friends with a muggleborn. Still hard to wrap my head around." Andromeda shifts on the couch, turning to face me more fully. "So when are you going to crack and tell me about this project of yours?" She inclines her head, a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. "Don't think I didn't notice the Occlumency - you never Occlude around me, so this must be something serious."

"I'm not at liberty to share that information freely. It was Narcissa's project first, I'm just assisting." I told Ginny under confidence of best friend law, she wouldn't betray that - even to Harry. I pause for a moment, considering whether or not I should push Andromeda to try and reconnect with her sister.

Andromeda beats me to the punch. "Well, I guess I'll have to owl Cissy about it, hm? Seems like it's about time to try, what with Teddy heading off to Hogwarts next year." Andromeda waits for several moments before speaking, since I do not. "What? I mean, if Cissy can make friends with muggleborns, maybe we can get along now." She shrugs one shoulder, almost dismissive, but there's a fragile edge to her voice - just barely noticeable.

"I think Narcissa would like that." I keep my voice steady and encouraging, trying not to let her overthink it too hard. The conversation feels like it's about to collapse under its own weight, so I try to shift gears a little. "Is Teddy still excited about going to Hogwarts, or is he getting nervous yet?" Almost as if on queue, I hear the door click open, and the sound of footsteps.

"Nan? Can I- Hermione!" Teddy, sporting a short crop of bright blue hair, darts into view and meets me halfway out of my seat with a running hug.

"Teddy!" I ruffle his hair, returning his hug. When did he get so tall? It's only been a year!

"What did I say about tackling people?" Andromeda shoots in, sounding exasperated.

Laughing, I defend Teddy. "He's fine, Ginny's much heavier and she does this all the time."

I finally make it into my flat just after dark, meaning all the work I brought home with me will have to wait until tomorrow. I find it hard to regret the extra workload when I finally got to see Teddy again.

Despite myself, it's hard to actually enter my flat. I know it's safe, I can even feel my wards holding dimly at the edges of my awareness, but my mind keeps replaying that damn nightmare. It's so vivid, even most of a day later, that I can't help but feel like I'm being watched as I pull my shoes off. I look at the briefcase still sitting on the table in front of the couch, but all I can see is her. Bellatrix, standing there, turning dramatically, smiling. I can't stop myself this time - I sprint to the bathroom and retch, unable to get a handle on my emotions. The scar burns, I can feel it being rewritten in lightning-hot lines across my skin.

Even once I'm done vomiting, my knees are shaking too much to stand. Breathe, Granger, focus on your breathing. My knuckles turn white against the wood of my wand, but I manage to clean myself off.

Crookshanks pads into the room with a low chirrup - concern or curiosity, I think - and butts his head against my knee. It's enough to pull a fragile smile out of me as I scratch between his ears.

I can't help but think back to the end of the war. Ginny, Harry, and Ron used to be close at hand for these kinds of attacks. They used to happen all the time, set off by every little thing that reminded me of Lestrange. Piercing laughter, grabbing my wrists, feeling trapped or confined. Everything was too much, all the time. It took years of therapy, both magical and muggle, to come as far as I have. Relapses still feel like a slap to the face, like I've lost all of my progress.

It was just a nightmare, Granger. Nothing more. Once I'm steady enough to stand again, I go to make a cup of tea - magically, for once, to have it now - and figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow. It's a day off, and I'm shaken by the idea. I don't feel safe in my own flat. I don't want to be alone here. Maybe I can get Ginny to come over, or spend the day at Grimmauld. It wouldn't be the first time. I'm not really feeling up to digging through Bellatrix's things again, unsurprisingly, so I've no intention of inviting Narcissa over to continue our research.

I can't sleep. Of course I can't. Last night I had a vivid nightmare of being held down and tortured in my own bedroom. I don't feel safe enough to sleep. Exhaustion will take me eventually. Just maybe not as soon as I'd like. I pull the pillow across my face and try to forget.

When I hear the city start to wake up around me, I give up on sleeping. I'll just drink some potions to get through the day. It won't be the first time. Or the last.

I make my way to the kitchen, where I keep my stockpile of potions for days like today. They taste absurdly bitter, and that alone usually wakes me up a little. Today, though, it just turns my stomach - a reminder of my relatively recent nausea. I shake it off and sit down to pen a letter to Ginny. With any luck, Minny will wake her early, and she'll be available.

Hey, Gin. I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry, but I had another attack yesterday. I don't feel comfortable being alone. Would you be alright bringing James over? Or I can come over there. You know that whatever is fine.

Hermione

I roll the parchment up and tie it to Minny's leg, then I'm forced to wait until a response arrives. If it takes more than an hour, I'll send a Patronus and tell her to ignore my letter. Contact Luna, or…wander London. Spending more than that time alone is intimidating.

Despite my exhaustion, the potion has me full of restless energy. I can't stop twisting my wand in my hands, running my fingers up and down the marred vine wood.

It's easy to get lost in thought, looking at my wand. I wish I could remember the source of every nick and bump, but it's just impossible. Some of them I recall clearly - the very first time it got launched out of my hands, it ended up with a gouge in the bottom of the handle that bothered me for weeks. Of course, I've taken it in for maintenance a few times and said gouge has entirely disappeared. But I can still remember it. Other marks were too deep or too serious to remove entirely - a long, dark cut along the side that I can't say I remember the source of. And yet it must have happened during the war. What else would have caused such significant damage?

I shake my head free from the thoughts and stand up, waving my wand to access my wards. After only a few moments of feeling ridiculous, I add a new stipulation to them.

Bellatrix Lestrange neé Black is not allowed on the premises.

The wards settle once more, gently buzzing in affirmation of their new addendum. It relaxes me, somehow, to know that they will reject her. Even if she's not alive, it helps.

I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep or the exertion of editing my wards, but I immediately feel exhausted. I know I can't drink another potion yet, but I still don't feel safe enough to sleep. Especially sitting on the couch, right next to where she was standing.

I jump to my feet and check the time. Forty minutes? That's… I'll have to get in touch with someone. Just in case.

"Expecto-" Wait. I remember Luna saying she'd be on a trip for a month or two, looking for… some creature or another. I stop and take a deep breath before I turn my couch into a pile of scrap wood and cloth, instead channeling my frustration into a string of quiet swearing. Who do I know that will actually be available? I mean, Ginny might pull through, but she'd probably be here right now - if only to bring me back to Grimmauld.

Minny comes flying through the room and brings me a small slip of parchment with handwriting that curdles my stomach.

Miss Granger

We regret to inform you that Ginny is participating in an extended training session today and will be unable to reply. We will forward your correspondence at the end of the day.

Our deepest apologies,

Holyhead Harpies Mgmt

The only thing that brings me any consolation is that Ginny is going to tear someone's head off when she reads my note. So… no Luna, no Ginny. Harry's at work, I can't exactly contact Ron. I'm just about to resign myself to wandering muggle London when another owl comes flying through my window - a small, grey-feathered owl. Apollo. This time, bearing a small note and no privacy measures.

Dear Hermione,

I have shared the unfortunate fate of being on the wrong side of a Rita Skeeter article. If you would like to talk, I am, as always, free.

Regards,

Narcissa Black

I read over the note several times. The fact that she didn't write immediately gives me the impression that Narcissa thought for some time before sending it. I can't help but be curious about her reasoning. Surely she is aware of my checkered history with the media? She should know that I'm more than used to bad press.

Still, there's nothing stopping me from just writing Narcissa back and asking to spend the day studying wandless magic at the manor. It would serve as a solid distraction - something very welcome during the time that my potion won't allow me to sleep. It's certainly more appealing than wandering muggle London.

Narcissa

Would you be opposed to my company today? I find myself restless.

Hermione

I can't believe how much time I've spent at Malfoy Manor recently. Once, I vowed that I would never again set foot in its halls. Now, though? The chilly silence is somehow more comforting than my own home. At least, as long as the memories of my last nightmare are fresh.

The path to the library is the only one I really know, though it's the only one I really need to know. All of the portraits of various Malfoy ancestors openly glare at me now, as I walk that path. They must know me, must have confirmed it with each other. I have to wonder why they don't speak against me.

Before I have time to follow that train of thought too far, I arrive at the door to the library. Narcissa's reply said she'd be waiting with a host of books on wandless magic - something to take both of our minds off of current events, surely. I push open the door and enter quietly, beelining to the sitting area I see Narcissa in. She's buried in a book of some description - it's hard to tell what it is, exactly, from this far away - with several others piled in a haphazard array around her.

When Narcissa hears me approaching, she gestures to a tray containing a steaming silver kettle as I approach. In the same movement, she waves her hand and sends most of the books flying back to their respective shelves. "Hello, Hermione. Pimkey has just refreshed the kettle if you would like some tea." This is the first time we've interacted outside of the context of our investigation about Bellatrix. I can't help but feel a little awkward, and judging from her tone Narcissa feels the same.

As much as the scent is tempting, the idea of consuming anything sets my stomach twisting uncomfortably. I force the memories of my nightmare from my mind. "No, thank you. Maybe later."

Narcissa simply nods primly, then indicates a stack of books near one end of the table. "Those tomes will help you to begin learning wandless magic. Feel free to ask any questions you may have whilst reading."

"And if I want to have some practical experience?" I doubt I won't want to try out what's in the books.

Narcissa stands and shoots me a grin that's halfway between challenge and mirth. "I thought you might say that. I can teach you, of course, but it won't be easy." She claps the book she's still holding closed, waving it over to its place on a bookshelf, and begins to leave the library. "We'll need to be in a special room for the best results."

"What? Why have I never heard of that?" I finally kick my feet into gear when she's halfway to the door, half-jogging to catch up. "Where are we going? What special room? What's special about it?" She leads me down a hallway further into the mansion, up several floors, and into an area of the building I'm quite sure doesn't exist when looking at the building externally. "Why can't we just Apaarate there?" Still no answers. But Narcissa seems… excited. She's walking quickly, a bounce to her step that I can't say I've ever seen before. It makes sense, in a way. This might be the first time she's existed alongside someone outside of a business or family relationship in nearly a decade. Does she have friends other than me? Narcissa takes a sharp turn - was that hallway always there? I turn and dart after her, unsure if being lost in Malfoy Manor is a good idea.

After some time, we arrive at a small plain-looking door that hums with a curious energy. "Behind this door is a room devoid of magic. It will allow us to feel our own magic without the interference of wards, other magical beings, or even natural magic." She pushes the door open behind her, beginning to step in as she speaks. "This is the very first step to learning wandless magic. I'm quite sure you will find the rest of the process simple afterwards."

"How is this going to help-"

"Hermione. I promise I will not leave your curiosity unsatisfied. Please, come in. Sit down near the center of the room." I offer a sheepish grin as I slip past her. It's an odd feeling, being separated from the magic of the world entirely. The floor of the room is padded with plush cushioning that I sink into when I sit down cross-legged opposite the door.

Narcissa shuts the door behind her and moves to sit opposite me, letting her eyes slip closed and drawing a deep breath before speaking again. "Wandless magic is more about feeling than rote learning. There is no one way that will work for everyone who tries. You must focus inwards. Feel your magic."

I fight back the urge to ask questions, instead taking a deep breath of my own and… focusing… inwards? What? "I'm sorry, I have no idea what you mean."

There's clear amusement in Narcissa's voice as she replies, "You need to stop thinking and feel your magic. Feel it, feel with it." Another deep breath. "Close your eyes. Breathe. Feel." That is impressively unhelpful, but I don't say as much aloud. I close my eyes, breathe, and… feel nothing of note.

Several minutes of fruitless effort later, I collapse backwards in frustration. "What do you mean feel? I can feel magic just fine outside of this room. My wards, when someone casts near me, enchanted items."

"That alone is much more than most start with, Hermione." There's a quality to her voice that I can't quite place. "Feeling magic when it is used is a skill in its own right that many need to train. Since you're aware of magic around you, then you should be able to tell that there is magic in this room. Focus on what you usually feel around magic." I don't bother sitting up. Instead, I take another deep breath and try to… feel.

I'm not sure how long I lay there, trying to follow the infuriatingly vague directions, but eventually I do notice something. Just a little itch, on the edges of my awareness. Far, far weaker than I would usually be able to notice. I zero in on the sensation, trying to bring it to the front of my mind.

Once I have the trail, so to speak, it doesn't take me long to get the hang of it. Soon, I am actively aware of another source of magic in the room, separate from my own magic. It must be Narcissa. The sensation is fuzzy, in a way, and I can only just tell that there's another source of magic nearby - the only reason I know that the source is a person is the lack of magic in the room. "I think I can feel you."

"Good. Now, focus that same feeling inwards. You should, with effort, be able to feel your own magic. From there, we can start to teach you wandless magic."

I let my focus fall and sit back up, hoping to have some of my questions answered, but when I open my eyes I see Narcissa sitting quietly and focusing. Disturbing her just doesn't feel right, so instead I try to do as she instructed. But inwards this time.

I'm not sure how long I've been focusing inwards when I finally feel something. The passage of time is hard to notice in a windowless room, after all. The first thing I notice is the familiar hum of warmth that comes when I pick up my wand. It's gentle and comforting, something I've felt hundreds of times. It's weaker now, of course, but it's there and my wand is not in my hand. I feel positively giddy - I'm getting it.

I focus in on that feeling, too excited to stop and report my progress to Narcissa. The feeling amplifies only slightly when I try to pull it forwards, which does put something of a damper on my enthusiasm - but not much. Am I going about it wrong? How do I…?

"I can feel that you're starting to understand. Your magic is… it's joyous." Narcissa's voice is tinged with something soft and warm - likely sharing in my joy. "Would you like to try your first wandless spell?"

"Really? Already? What spell? Wait, can I even cast magic in this room? I don't know if I can hold onto this feeling outside of here-"

"Pick a spell you're comfortable with already. Something simple, ideally, that you understand the behavior of."

I already know the spell I want to try. Despite my excitement, the mechanics of casting magic without a wand escapes me entirely. "So… I just say the incantation and… twist my hand like a wand?"

"If you already know how to cast the spell wordlessly, then you likely don't need to speak. Incantations are to help focus our minds. Casting without an incantation is as simple as familiarity with the effect you want to achieve." Narcissa pauses, hums in thought, then continues. "Wands, meanwhile, serve as a way to focus our magic. Casting a spell without a wand means you need to be familiar with how your magic creates the effect in the first place."

"Which is why I need to be in this room, and feel my magic."

"Precisely. Now, if you would, I imagine you'll succeed rather quickly." She gestures to my hands - crossed in my lap.

"Right, then, I guess I'll just…" I close my eyes and focus again - the warmth, the rush of my magic responding to me fills me with childlike joy all over again. This is exactly how I felt when I first held my wand. In the same moment as the thought, I feel my magic start to coalesce in my hands before a quiet whoosh sound tells me I've succeeded.

I open my eyes to see a gently-flickering ball of blue fire held securely in my cupped palms. The glow of light from the fire is brighter than what little ambient lighting this room has, painting both myself and Naricssa in stark, dancing shadows. "Beautiful… I've always been fond of that spell."

"I did it! Narcissa, I cast a spell without a wand!" I leap to my feet in excitement, surprised to see my excited smile mirrored on Narcissa's face when she stands as well.

"Indeed you did. I had no doubts that you would succeed."

In my excitement, I can't stop myself from reaching out and grasping each of her hands in one of my own - though the obvious surprise that jumps into Narcissa's expression doesn't escape me. "Thank you, sincerely, for this." After a moment, I step back and sober a bit. "Why, exactly, isn't this taught in Hogwarts? Or available in books, for that matter? If you'd never told me, I'd have had no way of knowing how to even start."

Narcissa gestures for me to follow as she turns to leave the room. "It would take nearly an entire library to explain the full history of the issue, but I will try to explain as concisely as possible. It was, at one point, part of the Hogwarts curriculum - as well as most other wizarding schools. However, when anti-muggleborn sentiments became popular, certain families began to feel uncomfortable with the implications of muggleborn witches and wizards performing wandless magic."

"I'm not sure I see the problem. Why does it matter?"

"Skill in wandless magic is seen as being especially in-tune with your magic. You can imagine that, for blood purists, the idea that a muggleborn wizard might be on par with them was threatening. So they began to put forth massive amounts of money and political power to have it removed from as many schools as possible. Books were bought and either burned or locked away, the facts were purposefully obfuscated, and - with enough time - wandless magic became something for purebloods alone." Narcissa pauses for several moments before continuing. "I am sad to say that the Black family was the originator of this push to hide wandless magic from the world. I used to believe it was the right choice. Now, I wish more young people had been educated. Maybe we could have avoided quite so much loss."

"To have such a complete loss of knowledge must have taken decades, if not centuries. It's… utterly appalling, but somehow unsurprising." I can't help but tug at the sleeve covering my scar. Deciding to change subjects before my mood sours, I speak before Narcissa can respond. "So meditating like that, feeling magic around me more clearly - I can do that outside of the room?"

"Yes, though it is exceptionally difficult. The interference of the ambient magic in the air makes it nearly impossible to feel anything of note." I nod, though I'm already considering how I might develop the skill - it sounds like a challenge, if nothing else.

Later, once I'm finally home, I manage to fall asleep with surprising ease.