They used to call her the Ashen Demon. Or at least that's what Seteth had heard mercenaries called her back in the early days of her tenure at Garreg Mach. He was reminded of the nickname again, watching as Byleth rejoined their small group after the short chaos interrupted their trip back to the monastery. The archbishop's robes were in ruins, Seteth knowing not even the most skilled launderer would be able to fix the deep blood stains in the white cloth. He watched as their knights stepped aside, faces white at the look of the gore on her person. Blank eyes stared back at them. Emotionless, and it sent a slight shudder down Seteth's spine.

Perhaps that name held a little truth. Her composure reminded him of before Sothis had come into her life, literally. Her days as a professor, the monotonous sound of her voice, how she very bluntly corrected her students, or the way that she would kill several of their enemies and then turn and ask Seteth about the weather. Before the Goddess came into her life she hardly smiled. She wasn't now.

Byleth's green hair stained red, the blood at her hairline running down the left side of her face, pale neck covered in it too. He couldn't tell if she was hurt, but she didn't seem to be in pain. It didn't look like Byleth felt anything at all. Seteth stepped forward, reaching out. Her name on the tip of his tongue, but she quickly cut him off. "We keep moving."

Short and to the point, and it got every knight moving again. She handed the bloodied simple steel sword back to the knight she borrowed it from and turned to walk. Seteth pulled his hand back, watching as Byleth moved past him.

During the war there were many times Byleth struck down the enemy and moved on without hesitation. Seteth took to the sky often and, when he could, watched as she moved around in their ranks. She was something to be feared. Even Seteth, with all the battles and the wars he had been witnessed to, was surprised by her swiftness. She really moved through their foes with flawless speed. She was always at the right place at the right moment and never let any serious harm come to herself or her comrades. Especially her students. While not everyone could be saved a cut or broken bone, it almost seemed a miracle that everyone was able to make it out of that devastating time alive.

And, Seteth knew, after every hard-earned battle came a day of rest for the fierce warrior. Byleth often locked herself away in her room, or, if they were not near their base, she would lead the way in front of everyone in seclusion. Refusing all company. While this wasn't a battle in the war but just a small skirmish, he knew the look in her eye. He kept quiet now but made a note to catch up to her before they got too far into Garreg Mach.

Just another half an hour and they were being let into the gates. Byleth did not hide herself between their party. Seteth watched as villagers, priests, and knights alike quickly stepped out of her way. The whispers and talk were already starting, and Seteth sighed at the rumors he would have to struggle to disperse. The least she could have done was wipe that blood off her face, he thought. But Byleth had a one-track mind, and it was quickly becoming obvious it was to make herself as scarce as possible.

She dismissed their guard, took one look at Seteth, eyes quickly drifting south towards the ground—and what was that sudden dark look in her eye? —and told him to rearrange her schedule. "I would like to be undisturbed."

"Byleth, wait!" It sounded as if the click of her heels against the stone moved even faster at the sound of his voice. Seteth almost had to jog to catch up to her. One hand curling around her wrist, but it was quickly snatched away. A pang in his heart and he heard his voice involuntarily get higher as he said, "my love, stop!"

"I don't want to talk, please. I just…I need to lay down."

"Hopefully not before you wipe your face." Seteth watched as she brought one hand to her cheek, flinching when she felt the sticky, drying blood. It was as if she didn't even know it was there before this moment. "Byleth, is something the matter? What happened back there?"

"Nothing to worry about," she responded, though her monotone just made him worry more. "I just can't do anything else today. I need to rest."

"Will you talk to me about it?" She looked like she was going to deny him, but he held up his hand to stop her protest. "Not now, but when you're ready?"

Here he heard the most emotion in her voice in the last hour, soft and filled with pain. "I don't know." Byleth gave him one last sad look before turning away.

Seteth didn't follow as she made her way to her chamber. He wasn't feeling rejected exactly, but he was feeling a little hurt that she wouldn't tell him what was truly bothering her. Frowning, he turned when he heard the clattering sound of armor. "Lord Seteth, sir!" A knight saluted him. "Captain Rangeld is asking for an update regarding the…skirmish this afternoon."

"Where is he located?"

"He is waiting in your office, sir!"

Seteth sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. This day was supposed to be easy and now it was just giving him a headache.

.

"Seteth, what happened?"

The archbishop's advisor barely had opened the door before the captain of the Knights of Serios was on him. Seteth quickly turned and asked the knight who followed him to his office if he could summon tea to brought to him, tea that was caffeinated if he knew what his evening and next few days were to look like after this terrible afternoon. The knight saluted him once more and Seteth managed to open his door fully before Alois was practically on his toes. "Is Lady Byleth okay?"

"Yes, yes she's fine." Not a lie. Physically she seemed to be okay, but Alois didn't need to know any more than that. "She is resting in her room."

"Well, who attacked? What happened?"

Seteth sat at his desk, motioning for the captain to pull up a seat as well. Goddess, I really need that tea. "I am not sure—"

"Sorry, should have asked, are you okay?"

"Yes, Alois, I'm fine, just a small headache—"

"Do you need a healer?"

You will if you don't stop interrupting me, he thought heatedly. Instead, Seteth sat straighter in his chair, hands clasped on the top of his desk. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Alois, if you would be so kind as to close your lips, I can recount what happened this afternoon."

"Sorry."

"It's fine." Seteth needed something to busy his hands. He collected the missives he received while he was out and started sorting them as he started his report. "The archbishop and I were on our way back from seeing the finished construction of the new school in the village."

.

It was supposed to be just a short outing. Byleth had needed a break from the nonstop meetings taking place this past week. Since announcing their engagement, Seteth and Byleth had found that their work had almost tripled between them now having to plan a hopefully small, but more than likely large, wedding in four moons. Byleth had come knocking on Seteth's office door early that morning practically begging him to find something for them to do outside of the church's walls.

"Well, there is the school we have not yet had time to visit."

"Yes, please. Just the two of us?"

"We will have to take a few knights with us. Can't have the archbishop going unprotected."

"I can deal with that."

And so Seteth rescheduled the meeting with one of their caterers, pushed back their duties a few hours, gathered a small group of six knights, and they headed out of Garreg Mach just after the lunch hour. It had been a very uneventful trip down and it was nice to finally be able to talk to his fiancée about anything other than their current duties.

"I feel like I can breathe again," Byleth said with a sigh. "Who knew getting married would be such work."

"Oh, have you never seen anyone plan a wedding before?"

She gave Seteth a roll of her eyes. "Mercenaries didn't marry often, and when they did, it was barely in a chapel and only a witness was needed."

"I sometimes forget you were not born into this life," he said with a chuckle.

"Being a mercenary seems so far away now," she said, wistfully. "I forget that I was one only a decade ago."

"Seems like a lifetime," Seteth agreed. "To think we've known each other that long."

Byleth smiled, leaning in. Seteth moved in just a marginal inch forward as she whispered, "it's but a blink to you."

Seteth automatically looked around them, but no knights were near enough to hear her comment. "And it will be to you as well as the years add up."

Byleth snorted. "It's hard to imagine living so long."

Seteth hummed in agreement. It was also hard for him to think about. The last decade seemed to drag with the war and its outcome, but hopefully the years wouldn't pick up that quickly now that Fodlan seemed to be settling down finally. He was left thinking about his life so far, and it dragged his expression down into a frown. War, death, a wounded and sleeping Flayn; life had not been gentle on his tired old soul. He was jostled out of his dark thoughts when Byleth suddenly kissed his cheek. He gasped, crying out, "Byleth!" He could feel his neck and face heat into a flush, but she was already pointing ahead of them.

"We're here!" She smiled and gently tugged on his hand. Seteth couldn't help but to smile and let his hand hold hers for a second longer, letting go before too many people could see. It was already indecent enough that she dared to give into any public displays of affection.

The school was small, but it worked well enough. The teachers and children alike were in awe to see the archbishop herself in her brilliantly white robes and practically gaped when they saw the normally stern advisor gently smile at them. The way they looked at Byleth, it was as if they were meeting the Goddess Herself, and Seteth had to laugh at the comparison. If only they knew.

They were given the tour and Byleth excitedly talked to every teacher. To be able to regale in stories of her own teaching experience, however short that year was, lifted her spirits greatly. It had been a while since he had seen Byleth sincerely smile to people other than himself, and it was good for the villagers to see her so relaxed. Had they ever seen her so down to earth? Perhaps if they had known her when she was just the Professor and not the War Hero or Lady Byleth.

Almost two hours passed, and Seteth had to gently tell Byleth that if they didn't leave now, they'd be too late to the meeting with a visiting minor lord. With a sad goodbye and several small hugs from the braver children, the group of eight made their way out of the village.

"It was good," she said with a sigh. She ran a hand through her hair, pulling it to the side. The walk uphill was a little warmer now that the afternoon dragged on. "Too short."

"Unfortunately, so."

"The students were all so cute." Seteth spied the small, shy smile, that adorned her lips and he found himself matching it. "And so excited to finally have a better building to learn in."

"The education of our youth is the most important work to be done," Seteth agreed, folding his hands behind his back.

"You make it sound so boring." Here she laughed, the sound clear and so happy that Seteth found himself enraptured.

And in the next moment, Byleth slammed herself into his side, yelling at the knights around them at the same time, knocking the wind out of him. Seteth gasped at the force of him falling onto the ground and didn't have the breath to call after the white blur of her archbishop robes. He heard the knights spring into action, three surrounding him with shields up and the other three trailing after her. One knight helped Seteth to his feet, passing him an extra axe that was strapped to the back of his armor.

"What happened?" Seteth's eyes darted around trying to see what Byleth had obviously seen. The knight who helped him up pointed to the tree behind him. He was shocked to see two arrows lodged into it.

He hadn't even noticed anyone ahead of them, though by the looks of it no one but Byleth had either. His grip on the axe tightened. He felt his muscle's tense and cursed his lack of training these last few moons. He feared he had grown too soft. The silence was chilling, the beating of his heart deafening as he tried to scan for any sign of enemies or the woman who charged in after them.

He practically dropped his weapon when he heard Byleth's yell and the muffled scream that followed it. Seteth tried to move forward but the knights blocked him. "I'm sorry, sir. We can't allow you to move."

"I need to go to her!" Seteth couldn't keep the crack in his voice concealed. He placed a hand on the man's armored shoulder knowing he could very easily shove him away with the power of his crest. He had just enough sense not to, though it went against all his instincts. "Please!"

"I'm sorry, but we can't."

Seteth reigned in his anxiety and tried to breathe in through his nose and exhale through his mouth. He reminded himself that Byleth was strong, one of the strongest he had ever known, and that the literal Goddess was within her. He flexed his fingers to control the shaking in his arms, eyes searching the line of trees ahead of him.

It took several minutes, but he finally saw the fluttering of white robes ahead of him.

Byleth was drenched in blood.

. . .

Seteth started his morning with four different meetings with seven different people and was leaning over his desk rubbing his eyes trying to focus on the knights' report, but his mind just couldn't focus. His third cup of tea was growing colder by the minute as his mind wandered away from his office.

He hadn't seen Byleth in three days. He hadn't slept more than seven hours in those days either and both things were putting him in a dark mood. Work piled up since the incident, and Seteth was finding it very hard to keep up. He sighed and set the paper down. He dug the heel of his palms into his eyes until he could see the starburst behind his lids. He couldn't concentrate, thoughts revolving Byleth. He didn't want to bother her, but three days seemed like too much time to recover from just one archer that she obviously took quick care to fix.

I cannot be annoyed with her, Seteth said to himself, though that didn't set aside his annoyed feelings. He knew something else must be bothering her for her to stay away from her duty this long. For her to stay away from him this long. He sighed again, blinking his tired eyes open. He reached for his tea, and almost dropped it when his door slammed open.

"I used to hear and talk to Sothis in my head." Byleth had dark circles under her eyes, her hair was not combed through, and she was barely wearing a sleeping robe and Seteth could only guess what else. Luckily, he had shooed the guard at his door away earlier that morning and it was only a short distance between the archbishop's chamber and his office. He didn't think anyone would have saw her in such a state.

"Ah, um. Why don't you close the door," Seteth said, voice tender.

Byleth nodded gruffly and turned to do just that. After a moment's hesitation, turning the lock as well. She turned back to him stiffly, hugging her robe to her closer, looking abashed as if she revealed a dark secret.

Which, Seteth realized, she had just done. He approached her not unlike approaching a wounded animal, gently guiding her to the seat opposite his. Her bare feet not making a sound as they crossed the length of his office. "The tea is not very warm, but I can call for a fresh pot?"

Byleth just nodded. Seteth unlocked and opened the door, catching a servant just as she was about to turn a corner. It was close to ten, but not too unusual to call for an early lunch. He locked the door again and walked back over to his seat. Byleth wouldn't look at him, and it stung a little. He reached over to rest a hand on hers and was happy that she didn't pull away from him again.

"Can…we wait for the tea?" she asked, her own voice quiet and unsure. This was unlike her, but Seteth didn't pry. Just nodded and rubbed his thumb over hers. They stayed like that, Seteth moving papers around and Byleth quietly holding his hand.

The knock on his door shocked them both into standing, Byleth turning for the door first. Seteth cleared his throat. When she looked back to him, he motioned at his torso with his hands a small blush rising to his cheeks, and she looked down as if she didn't realize she wasn't dressed at all to greet someone at the door. Her robe had fallen open, and without totally exposing herself, it revealed that she really didn't wear anything beneath it. With a sigh, she pulled her robe closed and sat back down. Seteth picked up the old tea tray exchanging it for the new one.

"Thank you," he said, holding the tray in one hand, closing the door and locking it again with the other. He brought the steaming pot of tea and lunch to the desk, Byleth having stacked his papers neatly to the side giving him room. He poured her a cup, and she added in her sugar and kept the warm cup locked between her grasp.

Seteth poured his own cup then offered her a small sandwich. "When was the last time you ate?"

Byleth just shook her head. He knew the answer, then. The noontime meal the day of the attack. He mentally kicked himself for not checking the kitchens and sending someone to check on her the last few days. It was just so busy without her, and he just assumed she was feeding herself. "Here." He set the sandwich in front of her on a small plate, and she let one hand away from the tea to pick it up.

There were a few minutes of silence. Seteth watched her over the lip of his cup as Byleth ate two halves of a sandwich and tried to sip her tea as quickly as the heat would allow. When she seemed satisfied for the moment, she finally let the cup sit on the tray again.

"So," Seteth started.

"Mmm." Byleth avoided his face, looking just over his right shoulder. "Sothis used to talk to me in my head. Before…I changed."

"Before you and Her became one," he supplied. Byleth nodded, eyes momentarily meeting his. Seteth noticed that she seemed livelier, not so blank or unfeeling, but she was so very nervous. Her pale green eyes darted away from his own. It was odd seeing the normally stoic woman like this, and it made him pause and wonder if he had ever seen her fidget so. Maybe when they were first courting five years ago, but even back then that nervous energy was happy, eager even. This was panic.

She seemed to tense up when he didn't say anything else, shoulders rising. "I believe you," he said quickly, trying to be reassuring. She seemed to ease a little. "I just, I'm wondering why you are telling me now?"

"Instead of five, ten, years ago?" Byleth looked down at her cup shrugging. "Since we've gotten closer, I've always wanted to tell you but. There never was a good time."

"Well, thank you for telling me now. What…was it like?"

Byleth sighed, though it sounded almost like a concealed laugh. "Annoying. She was always complaining about every little thing I did, and every bad decision I made. She had a comment about every thought I had or how I taught or…" Byleth twisted her cup in a circle before wrapping her fingers around it again. Seteth motioned towards the pot, and she nodded. He refilled her cup. "Well. I don't hear Her anymore, and I guess I kind of miss that sometimes."

Seteth leaned in on his hand, scratching and cringing at his beard that was a few days overdue for a trim. "It's fascinating to know that you heard Sothis. That you were able to converse with Her. I can't imagine."

"Mmm."

"You've never told anyone?"

Byleth shook her head. "I used to tell my dad they were dreams, but never that I was talking to someone in my head. Or that I could see Her sometimes."

"See Her?"

"Well, She would appear in my professor's room after I got here initially, but mostly it was just conversations in my head. I thought I was crazy for a while there, but then I started to learn that I was just different I guess." Byleth bit into a cookie, chewing quietly and peeking up at Seteth again. "And then we became one, and I only heard Her one more time after that. When…I woke up in the ravine."

It was an awful thing to think about, the five years they were away from each other. Trying to find Rhea and mourning yet another lost kin. Seteth took a sip of his tea to try and wash away the bitter feeling in his mouth at how everything came to a head during and after the war. "Thank you for trusting me with this. I, it's…I am happy you've shared it with me."

"It's not everything." Byleth bit her lip. Seteth waited, watched as she downed the rest of her tea in one gulp, stalling.

"Not everything?" he prompted. What else could there be? he wondered.

Byleth breathed in. "I've never told this to anyone. Not my students, not my dad…" Her voice seemed to break at that admission, fingers twisting in front of her. "So, give me a second."

Seteth held out his hand, palm open, an invitation. Byleth held on, squeezing tightly. She took in a deep breath, then finally looked Seteth in the eyes. She looked resolute, but he could tell her courage was fleeting. "Sothis gave me this power. A Divine Pulse, I guess." She paused, waiting. Seteth nodded, giving her the momentum to go on. "I can turn back time."

He blinked, brow furrowing. Byleth sucked in another breath and kept going. "Not very far, only really maybe an hour at most if I can even stomach it, and only maybe a dozen or so times before I lose the power until I sleep, but enough to make sure…to make sure everyone survived."

Seteth understood then. He understood everything now. He squeezed her hand, and Byleth let out a sob. He was so shocked at the sound of it and the sight of her tears that he, without letting go of her hand somehow, came around the desk and kneeled in front of her. He tugged her head down to rest on his shoulder, free hand twisting into the hair at the nape of her neck. She took in shuddering breaths, rocking into his neck, hot tears staining his shirt. He let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her back, pulling her in, and not letting go.

After another minute she stopped rocking so much, though her breath still stuttered with the force of her sobs. "I'm still not used to, used to c-crying. I'm, I'm so-sorry."

"Hush, it's nothing to apologize for." He nuzzled his cheek into the softness of her hair. Byleth just seemed to cry harder. He rubbed a hand on her back, feeling her slowly take ahold of her breathing after a minute. When she pulled away from him, he made sure to keep one of her hands in his and helped her wipe away stray tears. "I noticed during the war that you were always just in time to block an enemy's blow, one that could have been fatal to you or any of our allies. It makes sense you have this, Divine power." Byleth sucked in a breath and nodded.

Seteth had a question on the tip of his tongue but didn't want to voice it. He could already see Byleth suffering and couldn't imagine what it was like to turn back time after failing to save a life. Having to do that all the time. No wonder she needed those breaks after the battle.

She always seemed to know what he was thinking. "I've seen every single one of my students die in so many different ways." Seteth pulled a clean cloth from his pocket and Byleth used it to wipe at her nose. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize." Seteth set the cloth on the desk.

"You too," she said after a moment.

He didn't know why he didn't think of that. Didn't think it was possible to hear about a death he obviously didn't experience. Seteth was almost always on his wyvern in battle, avoiding most hits by having the higher advantage. He didn't think he'd be an easy target, and it was hard to wrap his head around his supposed repeated demise. "I, ah, me?" he asked, holding her hand tightly.

"Mostly arrows, some javelins and spears." Byleth bit her lip as if that would stop the fresh wave of tears. "Always too late. I'm always too late."

Seteth wiped away another tear. "I am alive, Byleth."

That didn't console her. She let out a frustrated sigh. "I know, and I shouldn't be upset. I shouldn't. Things go wrong and I use the pulse and fix everything every time but. But." Byleth let go of his hand to wipe away her tears. "It doesn't get easier."

Seteth rested a hand on her knee. "And now that…it's you, Seteth. It's you and I love you and it hurts. Hurts worse than I have ever felt before." Byleth held onto her robe where her still heart would beat if it could. Her face crumpled, and he couldn't think of what to do to help her. "I can't believe how bad my chest—like someone is squeezing my heart. It was as if my life ended seeing those arrows hit you—and I couldn't save you." A sob broke from her chest.

"I'm here. I'm alive," he reminded her again. He couldn't brush away her tears fast enough.

Byleth shook her head. "But it was you. I had to go through that moment three times. Four times I had to pulse to get it right."

"You mean that afternoon?"

Byleth nodded, sniffing. "The first time the first arrow missed, and I watched you take the second. I was so lost I almost forgot to turn back time. It was almost too late. I-I couldn't stop sc-screaming." Byleth took hold of his hands. "The second time I wasn't fast enough, and you took both."

She looked away. Eyes drifting to the window. "The third time I miscalculated, and the arrows hit me."

Seteth froze. He couldn't think of it. He wouldn't dwell on it. He told himself nine years ago that she had died and felt the loss of her and Rhea so strongly he could hardly remember the first few months following. If it wasn't for Flayn, he wasn't sure he would have survived to see Byleth again. And at the time he didn't love her, or at least he didn't think he knew his feelings for her, and if she had died now. If she had died before they were even married—No, he thought, shaking his head. He couldn't live through that again, however hypothetical this situation seemed.

"You died." Seteth swallowed, the words hard to come out of his suddenly dry throat. An arrow in her chest. An arrow through her gut. An arrow—he shook his head again, willing the images to dissipate, stomach churning.

Byleth turned back to him, giving him one short nod. "As long as I have the Divine strength within me, I can turn back time. Or at least that's what happens every time I die."

"Every time? How, or, or, how?" He wasn't making any sense, so he shut his mouth just staring up at her. How could he think to ask her how many times she had died? To make her recount all the gruesome ways?

Byleth shook her head, then shrugged. "I don't keep tally."

"I am sorry. It was a foolish thought. I didn't mean—" Seteth stopped when Byleth pulled him up for a kiss. Her lips were sweet and soft, and he didn't deserve it. When she pulled away, he frowned.

Byleth shook her head. "Seteth, you could never hurt me with your words. Never." She held his head in her hands, thumb caressing his cheek.

He breathed out a small chuckle, and her lips turned up a small bit. She always knew exactly what he needed to hear, even though he was the one supposed to be consoling her. Seteth pulled himself off his knees. As he rose, he kissed each side of her face, finally resting his forehead on hers. "Byleth, I cannot imagine you…my future would be bereft without you in it."

"The same for me. I never knew what it was like to lose someone I loved permanently until my father…" Byleth sighed, Seteth watched as she rubbed her eyes. Another grief that he could never fix. "I couldn't rewind time with Jeralt. I tried so many times, and unlike my students before, I couldn't stop it. Fate would not have it. If…I couldn't rewind time with you? I would not survive."

"Well," Seteth said, caressing her cheek. She looked up and his heart stuttered at the sadness in her eyes. He wanted to lift it away, chase it back into the shadows. He started again, "well, we won't have to worry about that for a long, long time."

Byleth smiled, this time it wasn't as sad. "I know we won't."

She stood up and wrapped her arms around him. Seteth rested his head on the crown of her head, closing his eyes and letting himself hold her tight. He rubbed his palms on her arms. "You are cold," he murmured.

"Perhaps it's because I have no socks or shoes on, and my sleeping robe is all I've seen fit to wear the past few days."

Seteth was glad that she couldn't see the blush rise to his cheeks. He pulled her in a little tighter as if that would keep her away from her chilled air and cleared his throat to try and hide his fluster. "What-what caused you to rush down here so…so indecently?" He cursed his stumbled words.

Byleth took no notice. He felt her shrug. "I couldn't be alone with my thoughts anymore. It bothered me that I hadn't told you about Sothis and this power." She pulled away from him. "I'm not ready to come back yet."

"That's okay," Seteth said, pulling her robe over her shoulder where it slipped. He tied it a little more snug against her waist. "Take all the time you need."

"Will you…" Byleth bit her lip, looking down. "Will you come up to my room? I just, I don't mean, uh, I miss you."

Seteth melted into a smile. It wasn't often he got to see Byleth flustered. Usually, it was the other way around. He leaned down and placed a quick kiss to her lips. Chuckling at the pink rising to her face. "I can. Just let me finish what I have on my desk."

Byleth nodded, smile widening slightly. He walked with her to the door, though before she could unlock it, he took his cloak off his shoulders and wrapped it around her. She wrapped the long cloth around her, tilting her head in that curious way. "It's better than just your robe. And really, the next time you feel the need to come see me, please remember to dress, well, better."

"Always lecturing," Byleth teased. Seteth hmphed and opened the door. With a peek into the hallway, making sure her way was clear, she left him with one last kiss to his stubbled cheek.