Hi~!
Sorry for the bad summery, I'll see if I can think of something more fitting after I've had a few hours of sleep lol
I'm also really sorry if this fic is riddled with mistakes, I kinda wrote it over the course of a few hours after a stressful day instead of sleeping (such a great idea, 10/10 would not recommend) but as always if you do spot any mistakes please feel free to let me know, I'll really appreciate it :)
This idea has been sitting in my notes for a few weeks now, so while I couldn't sleep I thought I'd write and share it, as usual you don't have to read any of my previous works before reading this one.
I also copied Lucifer's first line of dialogue straight from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (and learnt that I have actually lost my own copy of the book wtf) and changed "Harry" to "Harrison". I did contemplate changing certain names (like Hogwarts to Pigwarts) but didn't like it, I'm sorry :(
I hope you guys enjoy~!
~K'rasu
*Copied from my own AO3 account*
Harrison Porter and the World of Wizards
The Celestial Realm sunlight filtered through the tall, stained glass windows, leaving glittering, colourful patterns across the white marble pillars and tiles of the library where several angels had gathered.
Lucifer turned the page of the book in his hands and read the printed words aloud while his younger brothers and sister sat around him on the ground; listening attentively to every word with awed expressions.
"— Harrison gripped the edges of the stool and thought, Not Slytherin, not Slytherin." Lucifer read the words aloud in a clear voice. "'Not Slytherin, eh?' Said the small voice. 'Are you sure? You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that — no? Well, if you're sure — better be —'"
"— GRYFFINDOR!" Mammon cheered loudly; accidentally cutting across Lucifer in an excitable voice.
"Can't you just sit quietly and listen like the rest of us?" Leviathan muttered more to himself; he couldn't help but roll his eyes before he turned his attention back towards his eldest brother.
"I can't help it, the sorting is my favourite part of the story."
"Didn't you say the same thing about the first challenge in the Triwizard Tournament in the fourth book?" Belphegor asked with a stifled yawn as he leant against Beelzebub's side.
"I can have more than one favourite part of the story!" Mammon pouted. "Anyway, who doesn't like the sorting? It really makes ya think about what house you'd be in, doesn't it?"
Beelzebub stared at Mammon blankly, "makes you think about what house you'd be in?"
"Yeah!" Mammon grinned. "So if we were all sorted into Hogwarts houses, Levi would definitely be a Hufflepuff—"
"What?" Leviathan snapped angrily as he rounded on Mammon. "Why am I a Hufflepuff? I'm not a Hufflepuff!"
"What's wrong with Hufflepuff?" Asmodeus piped up; arching a questioning eyebrow at Leviathan as he crossed his arms.
"Don't you want to be in the same house as us?" Lilith asked as she motioned towards Asmodeus and herself.
"That's not it at all, I just don't think Hufflepuff suits me." Leviathan replied in a murmured voice. "Wouldn't Gryffindor or Ravenclaw be better for me?"
"If any of us is a Gryffindor, it's definitely Beel!" Lilith spoke up again.
"Although, he'd make a pretty good Hufflepuff too," Mammon nodded thoughtfully.
"Hey!" Leviathan burst. "You can't just palm us all off into Hufflepuff! If you're going to sort us into houses, at least put some thought into it!"
"And Belphie—" Mammon continued as though Leviathan hadn't spoken; he fell silent as he regarded his youngest brother with a surveying stare.
"I don't care what house I'm in," Belphegor closed his eyes with a small smile, "I don't mind what house I'm in, as long as I'm in the same house as Lilith and Beel."
"I don't think you can just pick to be in the same house as Lilith and Beel," Asmo chuckled as he shook his head.
"The Sorting Hat does take our wishes into account though," Lilith pointed out.
"That's true," Lucifer nodded at his sister with a smile.
"So we could all be in the same house group." Beelzebub gave his sister an affectionate smile.
"I wonder what house Lucifer would be in," Asmodeus mused aloud as he gave the eldest brother a curious stare.
"He's always working hard, he's incredibly smart and talented—" Leviathan murmured in a thoughtful tone. "So…"
"Definitely Ravenclaw." Beelzebub, Belphegor and Lilith said in unison.
Lucifer gave a small chuckle, "so that just leaves Mammon."
"I would definitely be sorted into Gryffindor," Mammon puffed his chest out bravely, "just like Harrison Porter!"
Leviathan gave a short snort of laughter, "yeah right, you have to be brave and chivalrous to be sorted into Gryffindor, y'know — you're more of a Hufflepuff than the rest of us, Mammon."
"He's got a point," Belphegor said in a teasing tone, "Hufflepuffs are loyal and you're always following Lucifer around like a lost puppy."
"Sh-shaddup! I am not!" Mammon felt heat rise to his face as his cheeks reddened. "When I get my Hogwarts letter, I'm going to become the greatest wizard in the world, just you guys wait!"
Silence fell over the angels.
"Aren't you too old to get a Hogwarts letter?" Beelzebub finally spoke up.
"W-well… maybe there's a delay, I'm sure my letter just got lost or something…" Mammon's sentence slowly trailed off while his brothers began to break out in amused bouts of amused laughter.
"Don't worry, Mammon." Lilith comforted her brother in a soothing voice as she gently patted him on the head. "I think you'll be a great wizard some day."
"You should focus on becoming a great angel first though," Lucifer added in a playful tone as he readjusted his grip on the Harrison Porter book, "now, where were we?"
Satan narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he watched Mammon rifle through the drawers of the dresser in the music room.
Satan cleared his throat loudly, making Mammon give a small yelp and a startled jump as he quickly rammed the drawer shut and turned his back on the dresser.
"What are you doing, Mammon?" Satan asked as he arched an eyebrow at the other demon.
"W-who? Me?" Mammon replied quickly with a small laugh. "I'm not doing anything!"
"So why are you searching through that dresser?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Asmodeus sighed as he appeared in the doorway behind Satan and crossed his arms. "He's stealing again."
"I am not!" Mammon pouted indignantly; he spotted the drawer open ajar out of the corner of his eye and tried to push it shut again. "I'm looking for something!"
"Yeah, you're probably looking for valuables to steal." Asmodeus shook his head at his older brother.
"Why d'you guys always assume I'm up to no good?"
"Because you usually are." Satan sighed as he watched Mammon push the drawer shut once more. "Haven't you figured out that something has fallen behind the drawer and that's why you can't close it yet?" He added as he strode across the room and pulled the drawer out.
Satan frowned as he reached behind the drawer, pulled out an old, tattered book and inspected it closely as he pushed the drawer shut with ease.
"Is that —?" Asmodeus asked; his eyes widening as they fell on the book in Satan's hand and he slowly crossed the room to join the other two demons.
"— Harrison Porter and the Wizarding World." Mammon finished in a soft voice.
"It looks pretty worn," Satan carefully opened the book to flick through the yellowing pages, "it's definitely well-read, so someone must've really liked this book. So why was it tucked away and forgotten about in a drawer?"
After a moment of silence, Satan turned to look at his brothers only to find them staring at the book with solemn expression.
"H-hey, what's with the serious faces?"
At their brother's words, Asmodeus and Mammon were quickly pulled out of their stupors.
"Y'know, Lucifer hasn't read a Harrison Porter book to us since we came to the Devildom." Mammon said in a quiet voice.
"I don't think he ever read the last book to us either," Asmodeus agreed.
"Then what are we waiting for?" Mammon chuckled as he took the book from Satan's hand and headed out of the music room. "Let's get the others and ask Lucifer to read to us!"
"Wait… what?" Satan stared after Mammon with an incredulous expression. "Lucifer reading to you? You can't be serious?"
"Come on, Satan!" Asmodeus chimed happily as he grabbed Satan's arm and began to pull him towards the door. "This includes you too, let's ask Lucifer to read to us~!"
Lucifer's eyes slowly moved from his paperwork to stare at the tattered copy of Harrison Porter that had been placed on his desk before moving towards the six demons standing before him.
"You want me to do what?" Lucifer asked in disbelief.
"We want you to read a Harrison Porter book to us." Mammon replied in a determined voice.
"Like you used to back when…" Leviathan started, but quickly let his sentence trail off.
Lucifer heaved a weary sigh as he carefully set his pen down and sat back in his chair, "don't you think you're all too old for me to read to you? Besides, I have too much work to do, I don't have time to be reading children's stories."
"— but it's Harrison Porter," Beelzebub said with a frown, "you read all of the books to us."
"Except the last one," Belphegor added, "we fell before you got to read it to us."
"Come on, Lucifer!" Mammon tried in a pleasing tone. "Just this once, for old time's sake!"
"The answer is no." Lucifer replied in a stern voice as he picked up his pen again and turned his attention back towards the paperwork on his desk. "Now if you don't mind, I'm very busy."
The rest of the brothers shared defeated glances before they quietly filed out of Lucifer's study; leaving the eldest demon to pour over his work once more.
Lucifer tried to concentrate, but found that his eyes kept straying towards the book.
With another sigh, he set his pen down once more and carefully picked the book up; he ran his hand over the book's front cover before his eyes easily found the rest of the series sitting on his bookshelf.
"We were all so close back then…" he murmured to himself as a heavy aching started in his chest. "… and Lilith…"
Lucifer sat in thought for a moment before he placed the book back down on his desk, pushed himself up from his chair and grabbed the final book from the Harrison Porter series from his bookshelf.
With the book in his hand, Lucifer left his study and quietly made his way downstairs.
His ears picked up the sound of voices issuing from the drawing room; he approached the door and quietly opened it to find his brothers sitting around the fireplace together.
"I'd say… Ravenclaw… no wait! Slytherin!" Mammon was sitting in one of the armchairs.
"Why Slytherin?" Leviathan — who was sitting at one end of the sofa — groaned.
"You call everyone 'normies' and look down on people who don't play games or watch anime," Mammon shrugged, "that seems pretty Slytherin to me."
"I'm pretty sure you'd befriend the Basilisk if you could too," Asmodeus teased from the hearth rug as he painted Bephegor's nails.
"And you'd still call it Henry." Satan added with a laugh.
"That's enough about me," Leviathan waved off their comments dismissively as he slowly turned his attention towards his D.D.D instead, "what about Beel?"
"I'd still say that he's somewhere between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff." Mammon said. "And Belphie —"
"I still don't care what house I'm in, as long as I'm in the same house as Beel," Belphegor piped up with a small chuckle.
Beelzebub nodded as he opened a large bag of Spicy Newt Chips, "I'm happy as long as I'm with Belphie too."
"Satan's definitely a Ravenclaw." Asmodeus chimed happily. "Lucifer could be a Ravenclaw or a Slytherin, but I'd say he's more of a Slytherin with his ambition and pride."
"Asmo, you're… still a Hufflepuff, I guess." Leviathan said with a thoughtful expression.
"Actually, Asmo could also be a Ravenclaw," Lucifer piped up from the doorway; making all of his brothers give a startled jump and turn their heads in his direction, "Ravenclaws are known for their creativity as well as their wit."
"Lucifer~!" Asmodeus beamed as he motioned at the eldest brother to join them.
Lucifer crossed the threshold into the drawing room and stood behind Mammon's armchair while his brothers continued to talk amongst themselves.
"I'm still a Gryffindor!" Mammon piped up excitedly.
"We've told you before, you have to be brave and chivalrous to be a Gryffindor," Leviathan rolled his eyes.
"I am brave!"
"You still jump every time you see a ghost," Satan laughed.
"I keep telling you guys, when I get my Hogwarts letter I'll become the greatest wizard in the world!" Mammon declared in a determined voice.
"Wait… you don't actually think you're going to go to Hogwarts someday, do you?" Belphegor stared at Mammon in disbelief.
"He probably does," Asmodeus heaved a sigh, "remember when he asked Solomon if he went to Hogwarts and what house he was in?"
"He was so excited to meet a real wizard," Beelzebub said.
"I don't think Solomon knew what to say," Satan gave another chuckle.
"W-will you guys stop teasing me for ten minutes!" Mammon folded his arms across his chest and leant back in his chair with a sulky huff.
"Don't worry, Mammon." Lucifer smiled and gave his brother a gentle pat on the head as he walked around Mammon's armchair. "I think you'll be a great wizard someday — but you should focus on becoming a great demon first." Lucifer sat himself down in the remaining armchair and placed the Harrison Porter book in his lap. "Didn't you all want me to read the last book to you?"
The rest of the brother's shared excitable glances before they all sat back and settled down more comfortably and stared at Lucifer expectantly.
Lucifer opened the cover and turned to the first page of the book — he froze for a moment as he swore he caught a glimpse of a familiar young girl in a white Celestial Realm dress sitting beside Belphegor out of the corner of his eye, but found no one there when he glanced up.
With a smile, Lucifer cleared his throat and held the book ready, "let's begin then."