This is my first story here , if you want to know my other works call me at PM. This is a 2 part story, I want to see if you still like Linstead even after years, to see if I should continue. My native language is not English, so sorry, I don't master this site either, but I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but I miss having Sophia on the show and the best couple in the franchise, Linstead.
Good reading!
Since they are together again, the days that they spend apart are rare. It's strange to think that you work with someone all day, even longer than your team, since they are partners and still want to spend the rest of your day with them. Never would Erin and Jay imagine that working with desks facing each other, being stuck in the confines of the 300 and endless hours without definition, would become just a part of what they would want. They didn't want that, not until they got to know each other. Now it was all they wanted, in good days and bad. With good cases to celebrate, with bad cases to console. It doesn't matter if it was Molly's, his apartment, her apartment, Navy Pier, or anywhere else, they wanted each other, to talk, to say nothing, to laugh, to whine, just to watch something in the TV, to drink, now to make love, even if the three words hadn't been said, it wasn't necessary for them.
They demonstrated daily. In trust, when only the presence could calm the other. If you asked, they wouldn't know how to explain, they just felt, they were magnets, they understood each other better than anyone else. Not Voight, not Mouse, not Will. Not that they didn't have their share, their moments, but between the two it was different. It was intense. You can tell they take time to make decisions, they don't say I love you all the time, they don't live together even though they practically live in one apartment -no matter whose-, but no one needed to know. They knew, this was important, they knew.
Fear? It exists, both of them, but they still don't know that it could be their end, that it could make it all go wrong. They want to protect each other so badly that they forget to protect themselves. Who think their mistakes, their failures and their pasts will come to haunt them. That at any moment another shoe is going to fall off, but Erin knows army stuff and, to Jay's misfortune, she's already witnessed some nightmares. He likes to sleep with her, likes her comforting him in bad cases, but when he gets so close to home he wants to spare her nightmares. If he's with her, the couch and documentaries satisfy him. She's not very different, he knows a lot, he knows the worst, he knows everything. She feels that at any moment he's going to realize that he deserves better, that she's not worth it, but he didn't give up, even though she tried to do her best to push him away, so she'd enjoy the time she had with him.
They have a connection, they're two broken people who hope each other realizes it's not worth it. That they don't deserve each other's love, but what happens when that connection is both of them? When does it get close to home for both of you? When does it complicate? What to do? Well, they will have to find out.
I had no preference which apartment to sleep in, going to the bar, going home with pizza and beers or just sex. Well, the latter was both always preferred. It was different, it was intense. Wild or calm, fast or slow, there was always love, a connection that in all their years of sex life, they had only felt with each other. This was one of Jay's favorite moments, but waking up and seeing her naked covered with only a sheet on her body, lying in her arms, with a face so angelic it didn't even look like she'd witnessed horrible things from a very young age, was one of her favorite things. from him. He wanted to stop the world forever, stand there beside her as if no one but them and that room existed. He smells her hair, he loves her scent, coconut and almond milk, soft and delicate. He kisses her scalp, and runs his hand over her face. It wasn't the intention, but those eyes narrowing, her nose wrinkling, a soft moan echoing from her lips, it was a sign of her waking up.
"Watching people sleep is kind of scary, did you know that?" She teases, her lips curving, her husky voice and her hazel eyes being all he needs to start his day right. He would have it forever, he wants it forever.
"No, I'm a detective, I need to pay attention to all the details." He smiles at her. She knows she wants that smile as the first thing to brighten her day. That childish and teasing smile at the same time.
"I don't think looking at me in my sleep is necessary for work." She stares at him waiting for a smart answer Halstead.
"Technically it's a private job that I'm very pleased to do." He smiles pulling her closer.
She leans in just enough to bring their lips together in a slow, gentle kiss, her right hand running down his bare, warm torso pulling him closer, while his left hand goes up to her sleep-red face and tangles in the back. on the back of the neck. What starts out soft intensifies, smacking lips echoing in the room. Panting breaths starting and being replaced by involuntary moans, their bodies emitted sounds with just a touch of each was impossible not to give in to desire and that was how Erin found herself on top of Jay, her hands running over Jay's warm chest. His hands slide down her bare back to her ass and she can feel how aroused he is. She rubs herself against his growing erection and smiles between the kiss as he moans bringing her closer - if that were possible. He's ready to take things further and another moan echoes through the room, this time in frustration.
"We have to go or we'll be late." She says reluctantly, but the time indicated that if they didn't want to get caught on Voight's radar they would have to start getting ready.
"Ugh... No... 5 minutes!" He holds her.
"Five minutes won't be enough for that." She rubs herself and smiles mischievously.
"This is foul play." He says still not releasing his grip on her.
"I promise to make up for tonight." She whispers in his ear and it doesn't help with what she's doing to his body. Not even when her lips slide over his jaw. And her kiss ends with a light bite to her bottom lip.
"You will be my death Erin Lindsay." He says, complaining when the heat of her body leaves his when she gets up from the bed pulling the sheet around her body, not out of shame, she loves when she exposes herself to Jay, he makes a point of praising every part of her body and it's not just words. His look at her is breathtaking. She did it to avoid the chills in the room, she didn't want to feel cold as her body was already warm. Also, the sight of a naked Jay in bed is a sight for sore eyes. Who would not like?
"Hank doesn't care about our relationship, but still I'm sure he won't be happy if his detectives are exercising and arriving late for work." She says entering the bathroom.
"You know how to cut a mood by putting Voight in the middle." He yells for her to listen from the bathroom. And he knows she has a smile on her face. He had a comment about the morning exercises, but Voight on the subject cuts any mood.
The bathroom door is open and even if it's not an invitation, it's always good to save water and do some good for planet Earth, right?
"I didn't think I was coming anymore." She teases when he enters.
"I was wondering if I could have self-control around you." He kisses her. Nothing but chaste kisses and smart-ass hands are exchanged in the bath. They really saved water. There wasn't an Erin pressed against the icy tiled wall with legs wrapped around a Jay with muscles tensed from the strength to hold her, nor the sound of water muffling moans of pleasure, but times together were always good, yes even in time. of the bath they preferred when they were together. Call it love, passion, starting a relationship, it doesn't matter any one never had it before and they would enjoy every moment together.
It's not like they take clothes to each other's houses, but Erin's jeans were the same as the day before, not suspicious. Not that they weren't official without sneaking around, but they still didn't want to hear slick comments from Atwater and Ruzek. She and Jay always left a blouse or two in each other's houses. All because of Erin, she loved wearing Jay's shirts, smelled like him. So she looked for some lost one, but as she preferred Jay's red and black plaid shirt would be the best option. And how she'd put it inside her jeans wouldn't be suspicious. She would have to fold the sleeves, too long for her arms and she loved that, but she couldn't wear it like that at work. She's already teased Jay too much at work.
Both are technically quick to get ready to go out, but Jay still finished first and went to the kitchen to make coffee.
"You know, if this continues I'll have to go to work shirtless." He says to a flannel Erin walking towards her. It takes your breath away anyway.
"I think I like the idea. My view of the table will be much more interesting." She wraps her arms around his waist. Her teasing smile widening. Waiting for a kiss they wanted to last longer, but they need to control themselves not to rip each other's clothes off and Jay takes it from the kitchen cupboard. Not that anyone stands up against it.
"You would have to enjoy your five seconds of victory." She pulls away to look him in the eye with confusion and he continues. "Before Voight throws me to the bottom of the lake or the Silos. Maybe he'll even let you choose." He says and they both laugh.
"So you keep your sexy shirts that leave a lot to my imagination." She arches her eyebrows. "If I can choose I prefer you in my bed and it won't be just without your shirt." She teases him and kisses him. No time for delays, what they really wanted is left behind. They grab their coffee from disposable cups - always nice to have some in storage - and leave for another day's work.
What they didn't know was that the case wouldn't be easy, it would hit close to home for both of them. It wasn't just another day, it was a difficult day. And as much as Jay wanted to be strong for his girlfriend he was having his problems consuming him.
What was supposed to be just another case, a horrible case about women being tricked with fake chemotherapies has turned into a nightmare for three members of intelligence. Jay didn't know what had so affected Voight that it had Erin running after him. Not until they were alone in the car on their way to Dr. Reybold's office. Erin was furious, so only one explanation for trusting Jay was deposited when they got into the car and Erin was grateful for her partner and boyfriend. He knew how to remain professional and still knew how to comfort you just by being silent, without 'sorry', 'sorry' and anything else they say when they discover something sad or morbid about you. Just silence was enough. He knew her very well and the time to talk would come. None would push the envelope. And both were absorbed in their own pasts and thoughts to start a conversation.
Erin
It wasn't the life she imagined having. With her 5 concern was whether her mother would come back to get her. At 9 was to save his mother so that the social worker would not take her. At 14 she was surviving, finding a place to spend the night without worrying about the next day. At the same time, it was obeying Charlie so he would keep her warm. She did things that a 14-year-old girl should never have to go through, never have to know that things like that existed, but even then that was when she met Hank Voight. And then 10 years later she was a newly graduated detective, with her own car and apartment. Perhaps in her best dreams she thought that if she became a waitress, with a good salary to have the basics to eat and keep an apartment warm, it would be perfect and maybe even too much for a street girl like her, but never life as it was now.
She gets a message. She smiles as she reads. It was an invitation to dinner at Voight's house. It wasn't common for them to have dinner on weekdays, always on the weekend when Erin and Voight's schedules matched. And it wasn't always at dinner either. Sometimes it was lunch, breakfast, but for Erin it never mattered, she wasn't there to eat, she was there to miss her family. Yes, it wasn't blood, but they were the ones who gave her hope in her life. They were the ones who showed her what real love was, family love. She didn't need anything else. She just hoped to get back to working with Voight again, but what was supposed to be a nice dinner turned into a nightmare.
"Cancer?" She says wanting to let the tears fall, but she couldn't. She needed to be strong.
"Invasive lobular carcinoma..."
"Okay, but how do we do it? Do you have treatment? You already started? I can look, ask people. Let's handle this. Everything will be fine!" She says her head thinking of a thousand ways to solve this situation. Camille takes her hand. The food didn't come down when the news broke.
"Sweetheart... Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Invasive Lobular Carcinoma, also known as ILC is very advanced, difficult to diagnose this means it is also more difficult to be cured. It is malignant and has spread to my ovary. I'm going to start with the treatment, but that won't help much..."
"No, no. They need to find a way. I don't know how, but the doctors must know, they MUST know Camille. That's not fair. Is not fair." She gets angry. She doesn't cry, she can't, but it doesn't forbid her to be angry either. Camille didn't deserve it. She was the best person Erin ever met. She couldn't have malignant cancer. That was unfair. She didn't have enough time with Camille. She was 10 years old, but it wasn't enough, it wasn't enough. She needed more time, they needed it, it wasn't .Cancer and chemo already brought back horrible memories for Jay, but hearing that he got on Erin was also difficult. Finding out that maybe someone was making a mistake and doing harm to women who were already sick, dealing with cancer was too horrible, but even worse was arriving at the clinic. He knew this place. He knew too well to his chagrin. So as close as it came to Erin, it would be to Jay. He stagnated at the entrance.
Jay
Coming back from a tour was tiring, the things you see are horrible. They cause trauma and nightmares. Jay Halstead just hoped to come home and see his family, have his time in peace and maybe never go back to that terrible place. He landed in Chicago and no one from his family was present, but the Corson's were. They smiled at Jay and hugged him. And as happy as he might be, he had a strange, sad smile that his second family was giving him. He was supposed to ask where Allie was, but he assumed that since it wasn't vacation time she was in college, but even without assuming the only question on her mind was...
"What is happening?"
"We have to tell you something..." Danny starts, but gets nervous and knows that Gail will be better at saying.
"Where are my parents? Where is Will?" He says nervous. The situation with Patrick was not good, but Jay had always loved his father. Jay knew Will wasn't in Chicago, maybe something had happened?
"Jay, your mother is sick..."
"What?" He says worried. "What do you mean sick?"
"We came to pick you up. His mother couldn't come then..."
"Where's my father? Will? And what do you mean you are saying that my mother is sick?" He can't stop asking, it was hard for Gail and Danny not to tell. Few of his questions were answered or half-answered and it made him angry, not that he fought or raised his voice to both of them, he was always polite and respectful. The Corson's weren't trying to torture Jay, this was being difficult for everyone, but Kate Halstead asked them not to say anything. She wanted her son to know her situation from her.
Jay barely waited for the car to stop, nothing mattered, not his suitcase, not thanking the Corson's, nothing. He just wanted to see his mother and understand what was going on. Finding his mother sitting in the armchair, thin and frail looking, wasn't what he'd expected. He bent down in front of her, holding her hands.
"Mom! What's happening?"
"How beautiful you are my son!" Her sweet and gentle voice sounded fragile, but still she had a smile. His eyes and hands examining his youngest. Watching how her body was stronger, he was bigger and as every mother knows, it would be no different for Kate, she knew that Jay had seen many things that no mother wants for her child, but her Jay was still there. He had shorter hair than it used to be and he was shaved. She watched him longingly. She loved him so much it hurt.
"Mom, please. Tell me what happened." He begs in distress.
"I have cancer my son..." She wouldn't screw him. She knew it wasn't fair." I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma." She said and you can see his expression get scared. If it were up to her, she would be fine, not very well, but it was even worse to break this news to her son.
"Mother..." He doesn't know what to say and as much as he experienced horrible things in the army, he couldn't hold back the tears.
" I'll start my treatment in two days. I will do everything to improve for you my son, but this cancer is not so easy to treat..."
"Where's the father? Where is Will?" He asks looking around, maybe he had lost their presence, all he saw was his mother, but they weren't there.
"They're dealing in their own ways, but it's okay... I'm here with you."
Fights were the high point of Jay with his father and brother, 'dealing in his ways' was not something Jay decided to accept when he found out his father spent the day at the bar drinking and Will was busy with college, said 'mom cancer it's not that serious, she'll heal. IDC is more elusive, but there's still a chance for her to recover.' He was using medical terms, as if his mother was just a mere patient and it pissed him off. He didn't fight in front of his mother, he knew she wouldn't like it, but he was still trying to bring his family to her side. This had to be put aside after two days. When he got out of the car and opened the door. When they both stopped outside and watched the entrance.
"It'll be all right, honey."
"You can't say that." He shouldn't be scared, but he was. He was supposed to be strong for his mother, the only problem is that at 19 years old she was his strength. She was everything to him, he couldn't lose her. He would be selfish and needed her.
"No matter what happens, everything will be fine. I will always take care of you, I will always be with you. Right here..." He points to his heart. "Ever." And after one more look at the clinic, they entered...
"...Jay..." Erin calls and from the way she says it looks like she wasn't the first. He was too far away in his thoughts.
"I'm sorry... yeah..."
"Everything is fine?" She asks worried.
"Yeah… my mom… she was treated here…" He says tensely and Erin feels guilty.
"I was so worried about me that I didn't even remember that you also went through this. I'm sorry..." His hand goes to his shoulders.
"You also went through a lot. Do not apologize." He puts his hand on her face and the touch soothes them both. Always comforting him with every bit of them.
"Was she treated with Dr. Reybold?" She asks curious and confused.
"No, we were seen by another doctor, it was a woman, Gail who found it." He explains.
"Was it breast cancer?" She asks. She and Jay and they never argued about it. Both knew of their mothers' deaths, but they never got into the subject much. It was painful, but now she was curious.
"Invasive ductal carcinoma, the treatment was..."
"Very complicated and had little chance of cure." She completes. "Camille had invasive lobular carcinoma. I searched for everything. CDI was malignant too, Camille's was hard to identify..."
"I get it. I also did millions of researches, few treatments were viable, and I didn't want to make my mother suffer with false hope." The voice of both is weak, fragile and flawed. It's horrible to share this, but still, they both identify, they know for sure this is going to be the worst connection they'll ever share in their lives.
"We need to try to be professionals in there..."
"We'll go together..." He completes and smiles wistfully at each other. Jay's hand caressed her cheek and she held his hand in hers.
"Together." She says and they look at each other for a while and enter the clinic. No hugs no holding hands, but minds and hearts connected to each other.
They had it very well. It was hard for them to talk about it, but they understood each other. You don't hear 'I'm sorry for your mother', 'I'm sorry for your loss', 'My condolences' and all that stuff said... They hated it, they knew people wanted to be nice, but hearing it a thousand times was boring , it hurt. So they were grateful that it was phrases they didn't use to each other.
The conversation with Dr. Reybold was worse than they imagined. They knew it triggered horrible memories of their mothers, but that they needed to hold back. Well, Erin knew that, but it didn't stop her from trying to walk across that table and get in the face of that ridiculous doctor she was talking to. Jay literally held her and they left. The man had some God complex, as if he was superior for being a doctor. For "curing" cancer. Treating women who didn't even have cancer, giving chemo overdoses and denying the cops to investigate the files. That pissed Erin off, it was worse for being the last oncologist Camille Voight was. She couldn't keep her emotion to herself. And she could see Jay deciding to avoid not talking as much as possible, maybe he would do the same as Erin, one needed control.
Getting Erin out of that office was the best decision. She could easily kill him.
Jay
"How are you feeling?" He sits next to her in chemotherapy.
"Tired but well. Thanks." She thanks you for the water. He nods, she doesn't need to thank him for anything.
"You know, I thought that after here we could have lunch at your favorite restaurant what do you think?" He asks with a smile knowing it would make her smile.
"We can order fancy salads and soups." She smiles at him.
"Yeah, and maybe they have that white sauce and we can pack it to go, you know, for dinner." He nudges her with his shoulder.
"We have to order extra sauce. Do you remember when you wanted to eat for breakfast?" She says remembering him insisting.
"Maybe I had some problems in childhood because I wanted to eat sauce for breakfast, but it was still good." He thinks, trying to defend his child Halstead.
"Certainly, you had good taste since you were little."
"You had it, I just got the best out of it." He kisses her head and they are silent waiting for the session to end.
"I don't know how he can be so sinister. As if we don't know what he does. He mistreats his patients and wants to blame medicine. He is a murderer!" Erin complains as they return to the district. Jay at the wheel because Erin is stressed, she didn't even fight, she needs to calm down. "How does he do it? He hurts sick people and deceives those who aren't even sick. This is sick."
"People are cruel. We will never understand why they like to do evil. Maybe because of power, because they feel superior..." Jay comments. "... but we'll get him, he'll never hurt anyone again and we'll do justice for his victims." He holds her hand. And it was all she needed to stay calm.
"Thanks for getting me out of there. I swear I would kill him!" She says and he smiles.
"I know so and I would not oppose Silos or the Lake of Voight, but we need to do it the right way." He says and looks at her quickly but enough to catch a nod.
- You're right. No mistakes, no chance for him to get away with this. - She says and smiles at him, always all right.
Erin
"We can try another one." Voight says.
"I agree, maybe there is still no treatment in some article and we can receive other information." Erin tries. She was happy that Hank, Camille and Justin were able to be new oncologists. Maybe they'd get a loophole, a new treatment, anything.
"Can we look at this tomorrow? Chemo tired me a lot today." She asks.
"Yeah!" All three respond in unison. What Camille decides is what they're going to do. All for her.
"Sweetheart, can you help me to my room?" Hank and Justin knew this was the cue for 'girls' moment.' Erin quickly helps her and gently lays her down on the bed with a thousand questions. 'Want something?', 'need water? But what a dumber question, she of course needs water', 'Is she hungry?', 'Can I get you some soup', 'Are you cold?' 'Is the pillow okay?', 'Want another one?', ...
"Honey, you love sleeping with a thousand pillows. I'm fine." Camille calms her by touching his hand on hers.
"You need to rest. It needs to be okay." Erin starts.
"I'm fine. I just want to make sure you are too. You sleep here, when I wake up you're already up. When I sleep, she is also awake. It's not good, you're going to freak out." She says softly.
"Yes, when you're better I'll rest and do whatever you want, but..."
"Honey…" She squeezes Erin's hand, interrupting her gently. "We know that the chances are few, almost nil..."
"Camille, you can't give up..." Her eyes fill up.
"I'm not giving up... I'm accepting the facts..."
"You..."
"Erin, listen to me. I'm fine. I wish I had more time with you and Justin, to see you guys get married, have kids, see you become a mother. See you with Voight, but I'm grateful to have you, to have time with you. I know I wasn't easy with you at first... - Erin laughs at that, she wasn't easy at first." ...but honey, I've always wanted a girl. A little girl and I won you. I wanted to meet you sooner, but I'm grateful to have you. You are amazing and you are the daughter I always wanted. I know you will be fine. I want you to take care of Justin and Hank for me, they're tough, but you and I both know we're stronger. You always were and that doesn't mean you can't cry, you can't suffer, because you can, but I want you to know that you made me so happy and I'm so grateful to have you, I had everything I ever wanted. I'll go in peace knowing I've had the best people in my life.
"That's not fair..." Tears stream down Lindsay's face.
"I know it's not... But it's life and let's live every moment and enjoy, ok?" She asks and Erin nods. "Now lie down here with me and hug me." She asks and without hesitating Erin does. "That's nice. " She whispers. "I love you Sweetheart."
"I love you too!"
When they arrive in the district they are informed about the case, they inform what they got from Dean Reybold. And each tells their discoveries. Antonio has brought some extra help which is being helpful, but it also makes them skin deep, but they know it's just a lot of caution, Reybold can't escape, lives depend on his imprisonment.
They finally get a warrant. Seeing that people don't care about each other, how he was acting like a normal person pissed everyone off. Voight simply wanted to take him to Silos and give him the end he deserved, but he needed to pay. He needed all the victims to be avenged, so they would go all the way.
Every moment of his arrest was good, Halstead took pleasure in putting the handcuffs on and holding them tight until they hurt. They didn't care about Reybold. They needed to save the victims. As Hank Voight says, innocent people don't destroy evidence.
Jay wished he could do something to comfort Erin. He knows she was probably thinking the same thing, but it was the same doctor who treated Camille. He knew he could hurt her more. He watched her try to keep her emotions at bay. Not being sentimental and not acting from the heart, but it was an impossible job. Reason had to win in this fight, but the heart was there. They were human after all.
Interviewing victims was difficult. Hearing that they retested and found they didn't have cancer was good, but it was still sad. So many losses. People were abandoned, people lost their jobs, were evicted, unnecessary chemo killed the baby of a woman who was pregnant. So hearing everything they lost was difficult, hearing what they suffered. Erin was willing to go all the way until Dean Reybold paid. She would get witnesses, evidence and anything else that was needed. She needed him never to practice medicine again and everyone agreed with that. They wanted him to stop exercising. Get charged and convicted of murder and fraud, but they wanted the case to go fast, but that didn't work. It was making them nervous.
Jay was in bad shape, horrible memories coming back to his mind, but good memories too.
Jay
"Mom! Mom!" He runs after hearing a crash. It was almost 3am when he heard. He was in Kate's room in moments, he was terrified. Maybe she had passed out or fallen on the way to the bathroom.
"I'm fine, I just dropped a few boxes." She says trying to catch. Of course Jay intervened, urging her to sit down and he tidied up the mess. "I just wanted to see some old photos." She says and he's not mad, he just doesn't want her to get hurt. He cleans everything up and takes the album for her.
"On here." He delivers. She smiles in thanks and opens the photo album. Several. It's not in order. There's everything from her young, to being alone with Pat before they had kids, marriage, her family, her pregnant, Will baby. Jay baby. Several photos. Various memories and memories. Some they won't erase for a while, others that they didn't even remember they had photos.
"You were so chubby." She points to a picture of him baby.
"Red and full of freckles. I think I've changed a lot." He laughs.
"And it's still my beautiful baby." She says and he smiles. Time passes and he finds himself at his mother's side, a blanket covering them both as their minds wander on the train of time. Times when he was too young to remember but a mother would never forget. Moments he remembers, but he lets her count just for the excitement. And moments they remember together and laugh.
"Grandpa's farm." He points. A poor quality photo, but it shows a lot of love.
They are all together. Pat, Will, Kate and Jay. Perhaps it was one of the Halstead family's best Christmases. Jay had made the high school football team and even though the bullying he and Will had suffered, that vacation didn't matter. The cabin was decorated. Was beautiful. Fully decorated. Beautiful. They had their gifts picked out and then their smiles were plastered all over their faces. It was an excellent winter vacation. Snow forts, snowball fights, fishing on the frozen lake, skating. Drink hot chocolate. Spending family time, but now there were just two of them.
"I hope you take your family there." She says.
"Mommy..."
"What? I want grandchildren. It would be unfair not to have babies with your freckles." She says and he smiles at that. "I know you don't understand your father and brother, but I know they love me, they just don't know how to show it, because they're scared..."
"So am I, that's not why I ran away." He says angrily.
"We each demonstrate in different ways, but I'm grateful to have you here." She takes his hand. "You are all I need in my life." She says and Jay hugs her.
"I love you Mommy." He says and she caresses him softly.
"And I love you. I'll always be here." She says and kisses him. He nods and they're lost in the memory line a little longer.
The day was terrible and exhausting. Mentally and physically. Erin and Jay didn't talk. They didn't argue, they barely ate, and they both knew they were neglecting themselves and each other, but still all they wanted was to lie down, cuddle and sleep as much as they could. The next day was silent. Bathing together, at that moment they didn't want to part. And conversations were minimal. Just need, but it was good. Each other's presence was good. What they needed.
It was very difficult for Jay, Erin and Voight. Each had their share of suffering from it. Each had their own memories. Hank had a family, he married a sweet, kind, caring and strong woman. An amazing mother, a patient and incredibly strong wife. He had a beautiful life and as much as he wanted it to last for another thousand years, he enjoyed every moment.
Camille did so many things, but perhaps the most admirable thing she did for Erin. Erin was always strong, she wasn't blood or DNA or anything. It was for the life she had had since childhood. The life she had to adapt to survive. A life she had to grow up faster than normal. Erin had reasons to be mean, mean, do mean things, but no, she was kind, loving, empathetic. And even if Camille didn't want a problem at home and let's face it, Erin was a problem. She saw that underneath that hard cover, those swearing and cursing, affronts, she had a beautiful girl. And when she met Erin, she understood why so much cover. It was to protect itself, it was to survive, but the Voight family took a few. Let a beautiful human being out. Erin didn't think it was fair, Camille was everything to her. Every moment was remarkable, discovering so many things was amazing. And for that Jay was grateful to her.
Camille and Voight brought Erin to him. They brought the woman he saw in the cabin with his mother. With or without children, it didn't matter, because he would only want to have children if he went with her. With her dimples. With her smile. He only wanted her, so what she wanted would also be what he would want. It's not like he would regret it in the future, as he didn't want a wife or kids, but he got Erin. And he promised himself and his mother that he would make her the happiest woman in the world as she deserved. Seeing his mother suffer was horrible, dying slowly, getting sick and getting better and worse, but he wanted to extract the good things, his happy moments, easy laughs, because each moment was lived with love. So he was grateful.
"I'm going home." Jay says as he approaches Erin's table.
"Eh... I..." She stutters and looks at Voight's office.
"Everything is fine. I know you need a moment alone, I just want you to know that you can stop by my apartment later..."
"Actually." She says moving from her seat as she reaches into her back pocket. She gets up and stands in front of Jay with a set of keys. She takes one out and hands it to him. "Go to my apartment. I need some clothes, so it would be worse for me to come to you, but I want to see you when I get there." She asks. "I'm asking, you... you don't need it if you don't want... you want..."
"Hey..." He takes the key. "Is what I want. I'll pass on my first one and stop on yours, ok?" She smiles slightly, mirroring his smile and nods. He kisses her softly on the forehead and says goodbye to her leaving.
Erin
A few weeks ago the Voight family grew. It wasn't a new baby or a puppy, although Justin really wanted one. It was a girl. A teenager, much more mature for her age. That she saw things that people might never even know existed in their entire lives.
She was angry, screaming, swearing and cursing. Camille was not happy. She had nothing against the girl, but she had a job, a house, a husband and a 13-year-old son going through puberty. Justin was angry, stressed and a 16 year old girl suffering from withdrawal was certainly not a good influence, but every moment he spent with Erin was good. She had known her since she was 14, not in person, but she heard Voight talking about her. And at 15 she saw her for the first time, but then she was in and out of her life. It was crazy. This was hard and too much for Camille to deal with and she could give up, but then she saw Erin, saw her for real and knew she was just a scared girl. Strong, warrior and survivor? Yes, but still just a scared and helpless little girl, she didn't need pity or pity for her, but she needed love and affection and that's what Camille wanted to give her.
It was something new. She was being loved. For 14 years her mother was drugged and had peaks of goodwill. But getting home and having food, a warm atmosphere and a hug waiting for you was new, a new good. She was talking to Camille. She laughed and Camille gave advice on everything and Erin was like 'how can she know so much?' She had two mothers, the birth mother, the one who gave birth to her. And the real mother, who gave her love, educated and took care of her. Erin felt safe with Camille, her life was different when she was with Camille. And it was good.
Erin's thoughts are interrupted by a warm, comfortable gesture, a kiss to the scalp and coffee. She should have been looking for ways to trap Dean faster-he managed to get released earlier-but she was lost in the memories. So she decided that she would like to share it with her father.
Her happy memory was of the day Camille had decided to tell her that she saw something worth fighting for for Erin. And well, they had a good instinct, Erin will never forget how she fought with everyone, including Justin. How she gave Camille work, but still earned the nickname Sweetheart. How Camille spent her savings to buy a designer dress for Erin and yes, Erin still had it. She always would. It was hard to hold back the emotion, she held it back, but she knew Voight wouldn't mind. He was sitting listening and watching her intently. Laughing and traveling in his wife's memories with their new daughter. He was grateful to have these girls in his life and they wanted some more time, but he was terminated, like Erin's earlier thought, when Antonio's friend interrupted with news. So the memories would be for later.
The next day was busy. During the night Dean was arrested. Voight and Lindsay were pleased with their performance in arresting him during a medical conference. In front of everyone, in the middle of the stage. He deserved it, everyone should know he was a fake, a fraud, a murderer, a psychopathic nut with a sick thought of being God.
He was quickly arrested and quickly brought to trial. Erin and Jay supported each other in silence. It wasn't time for serious and long conversations yet, they would have time for that soon, but it was still important to ask how they were doing.
"How are you?" He asks on the second day of the hearing. A decisive day. All were released from work so they could attend.
"You know, waiting for justice to be done." She looks him in the eye.
"And it will be!" He says fixing her blazer.
The witnesses, the trial, everything was crucial. There were moments against them. Times when they thought they were going to lose the case, but then Voight managed to bring out all 47 witnesses and what kept him strong was Erin supporting him from afar. Her little girl was strong.
Halstead did not leave her side. He sat down beside her and comforted her with a handshake. It was good to have him there. He felt families had peace and quiet. Now they were waiting for the verdict.
"Camille would be proud of you!" Erin says as soon as she finds Hank in the office. Halstead said he would wait for her in court, give them a moment alone.
"And you, girl." He reciprocates. "Because I am." He and Camille knew that Erin was stronger than she thought she was, and that moment was proof. He knew that wherever his wife was, he would be proud of his Sweetheart.
Jay sat in the third chair and left two extra ones. Erin sat in the middle after moment of her father and daughter and Hank at the end. Ready and satisfied when the verdict on all charges was 'we found the defendant guilty.' And it was hard to keep control when that killer touched Camille's name. When he said it was unfair to arrest him, but Erin was holding Voight and Jay was holding Erin.
Those were horrible days, it was finally over and then they would have peace.
"I'll meet you later." Jay says when they leave court. He always knew when to leave her alone. The problem is that this time he was wrong.
"Jay..." She grabs him and calls him. "If it's not asking too much. I want you to come with me." She asks and he doesn't hesitate to accept, at least not until Voight shows up.
"He is sure? I do not want to bother."
"Yes, I want you with me." She wraps her arms in his and they leave together. Getting into the car and following Hank in the car in front.
A/N: Okay, a single scene that turned into two parts. I was hoping it was just one, but we have almost 8,000 words and I want you to understand the situation a little bit. Next up will be Hank and Erin with Jay and Linstead talking about it. Tell me what you think and if I should stay here.