This story is also on Archive Of Our Own (and has better formatting/continuity updates there, because Fanfiction doesn't like me) but I figured I could post this here. I only ask for reviews that aren't sarcastic or rude. I will only consider legitimate, KIND criticism.
Chapter 1: I am Shepard?
There were so many mistakes made here. Trusting a corporate drone, that's one. Going unarmed, that's another. But the last and most important is leaving without saying goodbye to my friends. I knew this was risky, trying to figure out what Bellriver had stumbled upon, but I didn't think they'd catch on this quickly. I'd even set up my Dive gear so I could get on before YGGDRASIL's shutdown. I'd wanted to see them before the end... the friends I made in there, the creations we'd all slaved over, the base we fought tooth and nail to defend. Laughing with them one last time, arguing and bantering. I hope a few people showed at least. I should have gotten on more.
Sorry Monga... guess this demon's finally going home to hell. Take care of Demiurge for me.
I wake up gently to something caressing my head. It's rhythmic and soothing. Considering I was just bleeding out on concrete, things are going far better than I expected. The ground isn't any more forgiving though, so I know I'm not in a hospital. The last thing I remember is an office worker with a gun.
If you kidnapped me without checking to see if I had a family to pay ransom, I will kick your ass.
Opening my eyes, I'm momentarily overwhelmed. There's a sea of color in front of me, and it's not the actual radioactive sea.
Are those... tiny plants? GRASS?! Holy shit this is the first time I've seen grass before.
Excited, I try to stand but I'm too wobbly and end up flopping over. I wonder what they gave me, I feel kind of loopy and dizzy. I know I'm in danger but I can't quite reconcile the petting hand with kidnappers. Wait, I must be in some mega-rich person's yard, they're the only ones with grass! What perverted fantasies require petting drugged people on the grass?! I don't want to find out! Whoever was next to me is getting up with far more grace than I am, but I can escape if I make my limbs cooperat-
"Baaaaah!"
What in the everloving fuck was that?!
I scrabble away, looking up to find... something... white. And fluffy. It's looking at me. It takes a few seconds to comprehend what I'm staring at. Two hysterical thoughts pop into my brain: that thing was licking me, and that elementary school teachers are full of shit and sheep are much bigger than they told me. It's massive, towering over me, at least twice my height.
"Ah, finally passed 'er? That lamb took ages, was beginnin' to wonder if I needed to help ya." An accented voice cut through the haze, a huge shadow passing over myself and the sheep.
OH MY GOD IT'S A GIANT RUUUUUUUUN!
I'm far too clumsy, whatever they gave me hasn't worn off, but I try anyway. The giant is catching up to me, he doesn't even look like he's trying that hard. I feel like someone dropped me in tar and covered me with cement. Nothing is working the way I need it to, especially not my legs. All I can think is this is NOT some rich dude's lawn, unless rich people suddenly decided to make mutant giants. Maybe I am in hell! Hell has giants and sheep!
"Ey now, this one's got some energy! Good for you kiddo! Think yer momma's gettin' a little worried though, why dontcha head back to 'er?" I get picked up like I'm nothing. Turned towards the sky now I can't see the ground getting further away, all I see is my own... hooves?
I stop struggling, I'm officially past the point of terror and headed straight into shock. "Aren't ya a feisty one, haha! You're gonna be a little rascal I know it, little... oh! Little boy not a little girl, first time I gotta lad outta my flock. That why you're so spunky, kiddo?"
I desperately try to plead with the man but all that comes out are weak bleats. Darkness encroaches the edge of my vision.
This can't be real.
I'm already out before he puts me back down.
If someone is feeling down they should just be thankful they don't have to be bottle fed as a nearly middle-aged man. Twenty-seven years old and some old dude has to feed me like I'm a baby. Not the brightest highlight of my life right here.
I have so far refused to suckle on anything living, despite my "mother's" insistence. Honestly, I'd been half hoping the farmer would forget and let me die so I could be reincarnated anywhere else. Sometimes I think I'd take an insect even, just get me out of here, man!
On one hand, free semi-solid food. I used to live on pills and water like most poor people so having something at all in my stomach is a new and welcome addition. On the other, my pride is in shambles. I am the evil villain of every story, the great deity of chaos and destruction! But even great deities have to eat to survive. I'd tried to eat grass but the farmer freaked out, something about babies needing fat milk? Milk fat? Well he wasn't all wrong, I did get a massive stomach ache afterwards. Puking sucks as a sheep, by the way.
I get what the guy's going through, really I do, but there is no way any amount of shoving my face into a sheep's belly is going to make me do that. He can call me stupid all he likes. I would rather starve. Eventually he got the message, and after a hearty rant about boys being more stubborn, he milked the sheep into a bottle for me. I'd assume it's normally for medicine from how he complained but I truly could not care less.
Despite all the muttering he still did it though... He's nice. He puts me down so carefully and praises me when I eat lots. I think I might become attached. I've met some of the cruelest people life can throw at me but this one's alright. A nice light for humanity, a type of person I didn't think existed outside of the online community. I still don't know his name but he's been kinder to me than anyone else in my whole life.
I'll make it worth your while, bud. I'm about to shake this world up. You have quite possibly the only sentient livestock in the universe.
What I've learned so far is this: this place is not IRL. I always knew I was special. Everyone thought I was Chuunibyou and now I'm in a different world, in a different body, and in a different life. Not what I expected but I'll take it. I wonder what those bullies would say now. I suppose it doesn't matter since they're probably suffocating in smog and dying in horrible workplace conditions, while I breathe fresh air for the first time in my life. I would have liked to rub it in their dumb faces though. I'm living a better life as a sheep than I ever did as a human, even with all the embarrassing stuff.
And living better means I should pull my weight! I have decided this life will not be wasted. I will be the best secret villain this world has ever seen! And it all starts with... MAGIC. I can cast freaking magic! I didn't even mean to. I saw some hideous thing coming out of the bushes and my first thought was: "Fuck I wish I still had [Mind Control]". Next thing I know, the goblin is kneeling before me. Couldn't believe it at the time, but after that I tried a few more things out from YGGDRASIL and they totally work. I even killed the goblin with [Hell Flame], it was amazing.
I wonder if I should feel something for the goblin? Hm, I don't, not at all. If I was still human I think I would have, perhaps being a sheep deadens me to guilt? Or am I still a demon since I can use all my old spells?
HOLY SHIT AM I LEVEL 100? This needs to be investigated. Like, right now.
I wait until Farmer turns around to exit the barn. Now that I've explored a little I know the layout of this place. The barn has two exits, one to the field and one to the house. The field door is big but Farmer doesn't let me outside that way ever since I tried to eat grass. The smaller door is connected to the house through an outdoor walkway. The walkway is sheltered and closed in, but the lattice fence has holes big enough for lambs to get through. This is how I escape to test things now. Only three days in and I'm already proving to be an evil genius. Someone give me an S rank for these stealth missions.
First things first, I need to know if I can bring up a menu. In the forest, no one can see my overwhelming disappointment when lifting my hoof does nothing.
Well what did I expect? Ok maybe I can do other things?
I try to contact a GM. There's no answer, not that I was expecting one. I try to mass call the guild, and holy shit does that connect and there's suddenly a hundred voices talking all at once. Close that sucker, that's a no-go. How many people did Momonga add when I left? Guy's been busy.
Oh wait, MONGA. That's it! But... how do I tell him I'm a sheep? Do I just... bleat? Will he get that? THE CHAOS POTENTIAL. It'll be hilarious either way, fuck it I'mma-
Before I can [Message] him, Momonga is calling me. Well I suppose it was rather odd that I called the whole guild, and now I feel stupid. Hopefully he doesn't ream me out for it. Oh, I can avoid punishment for a while by doing the sheep thing! I'll probably get in more trouble later but that's for Future Me to deal with. I accept the call, and Momonga's nickname and text box pops into my field of vision just like on Ygg, but this time I can hear him.
Monga: ULBERT?! Ulbert are you there?!
Ulbert: Baaah.
Monga: ...
Holy shit, I'm an asshole. I'm practically dying from the silence that followed that, I want to laugh so bad. I can just imagine the confusion Momonga is plagued with right now. It even used ellipses in the text box, it KNOWS there's silence on the other end!
Wait... it knows there's silence. How...?
"There ya are! Goodness ya scared the heck outta me kiddo! We're goin' back to yer momma right this instant, mister! There's monsters in this here forest!" Farmer comes out of nowhere. I wasn't paying attention and now I'm caught. Serves me right for trying to pull a prank, now I won't get to talk to Momonga at all. I bleat sadly, resigned to my fate as he lifts me into his arms.
Monga: ... Who is that? There are monsters? Or is he the monster? Are you in danger, Ulbert?! Is that why you can't speak?! Don't worry! We will get you back home! I understand your hint!
He can hear Farmer?!
Before I can question what the hell he means by that the call ends. I might have done something bad. But the guy's in another world right? He can't really help, and Farmer isn't in danger, nor is he dangerous. I'll [Message] Momonga back later and explain it's just a joke. For now the concern my guild leader has is just as touching as Farmer's and I kinda want to bask in it a bit. I'm not looking forward to telling him I'm technically dead. What could he even do with that information, he's in IRL and I'm in some new place that magically has Ygg mechanics. I mean, just because I can do stuff from YGGDRASIL doesn't mean we're actually IN the game... right? Well... actually... if I can [Message] Momonga...
There's a growl behind me. Farmer whips around quickly, making me woozy.
"WHO'S THAT?" He yells out. I've never heard Farmer scared before. I don't like it, whatever made him afraid is about to eat hoof.
Like before, a goblin springs out from behind a tree, raising a club. But I can hear something else. Something's breaking trees in the distance, something bigger than this dumb goblin. I have to get Farmer back inside, back to safety. I don't think he's also level 100.
[Mind Control] works like a charm, stunning the stupid thing. I jump out of Farmer's arms, avoiding his flailing hands trying to catch me again. Now's as good a time as any to test how strong I am.
My headbutt sends the goblin flying. Well, part of the goblin anyway. The other half crumples to the ground.
That's probably the coolest thing I've ever seen. I've never been much of a gore lover-that was more Tabula's thing-but that was epic. I don't have time to appreciate it further, though. I know there's more.
I dash into the tree line after the top half of the goblin. Whatever is barrelling through the trees will be attracted to the blood and sounds of fighting. I can hear Farmer find his voice. He screams after me but I hope he gives up and returns home.
Home? I really am getting attached. Bad brain, you know how that ends.
While I'm thinking, a trunk snaps a few feet away. A lumbering form comes into view. It's...
Oh it's just an orc. Maaaaaan... I thought you were something better.
I don't even want to waste the mana for another [Mind Control] when there's no one to protect. [Gravity Spear] takes less and looks cooler. Farmer isn't in danger now so there's no reason to be wasteful.
As the orc is sucked into itself I hear fallen twigs breaking. I'm really tired of turning around right now but I ready myself for the next opponent.
It's Farmer. False alarm. He's trembling. But when I think about it, who wouldn't be after all that? I nuzzle his pants leg and he leans down to hold me carefully. He always holds me like a baby, I wonder why. It lets me see he's crying though. Poor guy, he must have been terrified.
"Ya... Ya are a Protector of the Forest aincha? Like the Wise King?"
Who the hell is the Wise King? THAT sounds like someone I wanna fight!
"I... Thank ya, kiddo. I been thinkin' on what ta call ya, ya know... I think yer name's gonna be Shepard. Cause ya been watchin' over me an' mine. Ya protect yer flock now, ya hear? Just like a real shepherd." Farmer wipes his eyes and starts walking back.
I will die of adorableness before we get home. I shouldn't be thinking of a guy twice my age like this but... he's precious. So different from anyone I've met IRL.
Sure dude, I'll protect this whole damn country as long as you're in it.