THE BRIGHT SIDE

"Dude, Tracy is like an annoying fly that does not let up. Why don't you just tell her to buzz off?"

"Hey! Be nice. I'm her only friend." Seth slipped his hands into his jean pockets.

That's not true and Seth knows that. I have other friends too. Just not in school.

"Anyways, it's fine. I am used to it. Plus, I like her company. She's my friend as well." I heard the sincerity in his words. I smiled to myself because in the end Seth had redeemed himself. As my best friend, I knew he would never turn on me.

"Okay, cut the shit, Seth. Either admit it that she is a MAJOR cock block or that you like her. It's one way or the other. No in-between."

"You fucker," Seth chuckled. "Of course I don't like Tracy like that. She's really nice and a good person. But I am not attracted to her at all."

My hand rushed to hover over my heart, uncertain if there would be pieces to pick up soon if the crack just made should deepen.

"Well no shit. She's ugly. I guess you haven't fallen for inner beauty after all," Jaron mocked. "So in other words, you admit she is your cock block."

"If you're twisting my arm and forcing me to answer..." My hand pressed against my chest in anticipation of the answer we both knew was coming. "-then yeah," Seth relented.

*crack*

As my knees wobbled, I refused to let them drop to the ground. Instead, I forced them to carry me as far away as possible. It turns out one can still run with a broken heart.

Seth hadn't said anything forthrite about my appearance. But he didn't have to. I too knew what the reflection in the mirror revealed. A girl that needed to lose a good ten or so pounds and suffered from acne. My thoughts churned with the ugly accusations I was accustom to hearing from myself.

You're fat. Worthless. Who could love a face like that?

In a world dominated by exterior beauty, it didn't matter how nice I was or my efforts to be a good person or friend. I was still judged by my outward appearance. Love cannot develop without attraction, and no one would look past my image to see who I was beneath.

I knew in my heart that Seth saw me. He saw me and valued me. However, the ugly truth was that he wasn't attracted to me. No one in our school was.

When I stopped running and caved in to my need to let the rush of despair consume me, I found myself in an unfamiliar part of the woods behind our school.

"Tracy," a familiar voice called to me.

I looked up and found Embry Cal standing before me.

"What's wrong?" He asked. And I hated to admit that even the false concern was a tad touching. I was in such a desperate need to be comforted that even fake niceness was within reason for me to accept at the moment.

"Just a bad day." It wasn't a lie, but I wasn't feeling touched enough to delve into why I was crying in the middle of nowhere. Like a fool.

"Must have been some bad day," he joked. I was puzzled by this. I had assumed after my halfhearted response he would take his leave.

"Yuuuuuuup." Feeing awkward as hell, I was ready to head home and cry in the isolation of my bedroom like any sane person would wait to do instead of breaking down in public. "Well, bad day or not, still have homework to do. Thanks for your concern though, Embry."

"You know who I am?" I froze momentarily. Didn't everyone though?

"Should I not?"

"We've never been introduced."

I snorted. "And yet you know my name," I countered. "It's a small school. We know people without any introductions needed. I could list what I know about you based on conversations I have overheard from your fan club."

"I'll pass. I don't need another headache." Instead of feeling jealous about the ease of his popularity and his looks that drew attention from others, I nodded. Holding back my tongue to tease him more.

"Good call. They are pretty basic and mostly unanimous attributes among you and your crew."

"Mostly?" I relished in the intrigue in his tone.

"You aren't all the same people, Embry. There are things that make you stand out from one another. Like for instance, Paul's distinguishing feature is that he is a major, grade A A-hole. No offense to your friend."

"I agree and he knows it."

"Jake's is that he is hard core pining for some white girl in Forks."

Embry shook his head in agreement. The faintest hint of a smile on his lips.

"Jared's is his OBSESSION with his girlfriend Kim."

Embry rolled his eyes.

"Yours is...well, that you used to unbelievably kind. But now you don't go out of your way to help other people as often."

I left out the part where he was referred as the res bastard. It wasn't worth repeating such a vile word.

Embry blew out a giant breath that seemed similar enough to a heavy sigh.

"That's complicated."

I held up my hand to his face. "You don't need to explain anything to me." I even smiled because this temporary distraction was a blessing. "I should go." I stood and brushed off the dirt clinging to my knees.

"Me too. I hope your day gets better."

"You know, Embry, that's the beautiful thing about bad days."

"What is?"

"They feel so bad because there have been better days and more better days are to come. This too shall pass."

"You're an optimist I see," he chuckled.

"Life is what you make it," I responded to the boy who reminded me that despite every negative thing I told myself today, there was still good in the world. Still beauty in it. Even if I wasn't one of those beautiful things.

"I don't know about that."

"You're a pessimist I see. But that's okay, a healthy dose of pessimism means your head is not in the clouds."

"Is yours?"

I bit my lip. "Never," I strained to admit. "I too suffer from seeing reality for what it is. But I like to look on the bright side of things."

"Good for you."

"It sure is." I grinned and waved at Embry before making my exit.

Sure, I wasn't a beauty queen, but other things in life mattered. And even if Seth didn't find me attractive, I found hope one day someone would.

OoOoOoO

The same day Seth inadvertently broke my heart, his father died from a heart attack. For two weeks, Seth didn't come to school as he grieved with his family.

I was prevented from contacting him despite my best efforts. He seemed to want to be alone and I respected his space.

OoOoOoO

When Seth returned, he had received an enormous leap in finishing his stages of puberty. My best friend had grown at least six inches (the quickest growth spurt of our year!) and all his time spent lifting weights in Jaron's garage had seemed to pay off. What had been the cute goofball before emerged a stone cold hottie. Elevating him to the ranks of Jacob, Paul, Jared, Embry and Quil. I did my best to not let myself be carried away with Seth's change. Deep down, I knew he would be the same best friend I treasured. That wouldn't- couldn't change.

OoOoOoO

"Seth," I called out to him as I approached his locker. His expression was guarded but I could tell he knew it was me. I wasn't foolish enough to offer my condolences in such a public setting, I just wanted to let him know it was still normal between us despite what had happen to him. I was still his friend and would support him.

"Go away, Tracy," Seth growled. I stopped moving forward towards him. He must have been angry I didn't try harder to reach out to him the last two weeks. I was trying to give him space, not hurt him. Understanding this, I pushed on.

"I tried to get in touch. I swear," I assured him on my approach.

"Hey Tracy, how about I walk you to class?" My head shifted to take in Embry now standing behind me. His suggestion was random and unwanted.

"No, thank you. I need to talk to Seth," I explained as politely as I could despite his rude interruption. I ignored Embry's fingers wrenching around my right forearm because I was distracted by the fact that Seth was trembling. In anger. At me. Had I offended him in such a way to warrant this reaction?

"Ah but I insist." Embry tugged me away from Seth and I let him. Because I wasn't sure what I did wrong to warrant Seth's reaction to me.

"Seth," I whined in my retreat. I hadn't expected him to look at me, so when he did- it took my breath away.

My best friend was in pain. The hurt, confusion and grief were clear in his dark eyes. But for one instance, I swear I spotted a flash of shock. Recognition.

"Tracy?" Seth gasped as he reached his hand out to me in desperation. As if he was seeing me for the first time. It had only been two weeks though. Maybe his grief made it feel like it had been longer.

As much as something pulled within me to take his hand and be his rock in this storm, I pulled away back to Embry, ready to give Seth the space he originally asked for.

"Oh-um, never mind. I'll let you talk with Seth. Sorry to interrupt," Embry rushed together, his voice awkward and not confident like before.

"You weren't interrupting anything. Seth wasn't ready to talk to me anyways. I should get to Trig." I was somewhat surprised when I walked away that Embry didn't follow me and Seth had.

"Tracy," Seth repeated my name again in a sigh of relief. Or if I was the answer to some prayer. It was strange, even for Seth.

"I am confused," I admitted. "Do you not want me to go away anymore?"

"Yes! I mean, I didn't mean it before either. I was just trying to protect you," Seth assured me and I was incredibly lost over what I needed protection from.

"From-" I was about to say what, but my brain stopped working when Seth's fingers wrapped through my own hand. Regaining normal function after a brief second, I shook my hand free from his grasp.

"What are you doing?" I asked in horror.

"I- um..." he stalled, apparently unaware of our peers watching us.

"I want to be there for you and comfort you right now, but don't lead me on with affection that has no deeper meaning behind it." I covered my mouth with the palm of my hand, stunned I had let my real feelings slip through.

"But what if it did?"

What?

I backed away from the pleading look in his eyes. Had his dad dying changed how he felt towards me. Me? The best friend he found unattractive?

"Let's talk about this after school," I replied coolly, unsure of what the hell I was doing.

"Okay," he mumbled as he trailed me to class, as if I had all the power in the moment. Me?!

OoOoOoO

My ears were ringing as confusion pulsed within me. Seth had dragged me away during the lunch period to talk privately. In an empty classroom, besides us, he just confessed his feelings for me.

"You cannot like me," I refuted.

"Why?" He asked, the anguish evident in his voice.

"You are not attracted to me. You said it yourself!"

Seth's eyes clouded over in confusion before he shrank away from me. "When did I ever tell you that?" His voice sounded so small.

"I overheard you telling Jaron. Remember? I'm just the cock block." I had delivered my response in a tart tone. Something I never did with Seth. And of all times now? I was being unkind to someone I cared about because he had hurt me first, unknowingly of course.

Seth was clearly panicking after I called him out.

"Now it's different," he reasoned with a desperate edge to his voice.

"Why?" I had to hear the reason to believe it. Was what I hoped for true? With his dad dying, inner beauty became more important for him to see in me rather than be attracted to me solely based on my looks?

"Because I imprinted," he confessed while rubbing his right hand through his hair, unsure of himself. A go-to Seth Clearwater habit I was well acquainted with over the years.

Seth soon explained how he shifted into a wolf to protect our people and how imprinting worked. I believed him. Of course I did. No proof needed. Seth wouldn't lie about something like this.

When he finished, a soft laugh escaped from my mouth. Which soon escalated into a roaring laughter that resulted in tears prickling the corners of my eyes.

Life had a keen sense of humor. I could only have the boy I loved because of some voodoo magic. Seth didn't want me for me. He wasn't attracted to me on his own. He was forced to.

As my laughter waned, I gave Seth the only reasonable response I could for the both of us.

"I don't think this is a romantic imprint bond. More like a friendship or brother and sister."

I would give him the support and loyalty of his best friend as he navigated the waters of grief and being a shape shifter. However, my heart would not be given to someone who didn't want me for me.

Because despite every ugly word I told myself, I imagined a day where I was brave enough in the future to love myself for all my flaws and someone would love me too. Without magic intervention. They saw plain old me for me.

It was the bright side of understanding my worth.

OoOoOoO

Probably making a sequel to this...

Author's Note:

This was a one shot. I found this story I wrote months ago last night when scrolling through notes on my phone. I re-read it, did some edits and decided to post because I like its message. I hope you enjoyed it too 😊