I do not own Camp Camp.
Enjoy!
Max kicked the seat, his nightmare had become reality.
His parents were dumping him at some Camp and he was pretty sure, that they had no intention of picking him up once the summer was over.
He turned around and saw the most rundown bus he had ever seen parked in an awful looking driveway, the words 'Camp Campbell' was on an even worse flag.
His bus passed this bus.
"Thank God, I'm not going to that Camp. It looks like torture" he said, not knowing that in another reality, he had been dumped at that Camp.
The bus entered a place that was covered in White and waiting for them was a man dressed all in white, he had blond hair and blue eyes.
The children began to leave the bus against their will's and the moment the last kid was off, the bus drove away like it couldn't get out of their fast enough.
The man put on a big smile and said. "Hello! Welcome to Camp Alien! You are here because your parents are pieces of shit's who handed their rights over to a literal stranger who could murder their child in their sleep. Because again they are garbage." he said this without blinking and he cranked his neck in a position that made them all uncomfortable and pulled out the horrifying worded brochure.
"Wait. My parents did what now?" Said a kid, who had been lied to.
"Oh, it looks like somebody wasn't told about the many contracts your parents had to sign to say they never wanted to see you again. Whoops." Said the man before he said. "Don't bother trying to escape there is a barrier around this camp."
However, the kid tried anyway, only for them to witness him get electrocuted several feet away from them.
The man face didn't change one bit as he saw the kid get electrocuted, which made it all that more terrifying.
Then a woman with blond hair and also in white clothes began to drag the kid to the cabin, not caring if the other kids watching.
The man got their attention and said. "Now, I'm here because I promised an evil alien overlord named Xeemuug more people to worship him in exchange for my life. My name is Daniel and you'll be prepped for the day where you'll be turned just like in the Brochure. Once everybody has been converted, well embarked back to the planet and everybody will be declared missing by the police. Doesn't that sound fun?"
And everybody stared at the man like he was growing two heads, especially Max.
"Bear in mind, this is all laid out in the contract all of your parents signed," he said. "Legally the law can't come after me if people believe I'm a crazy man opening a fake campsite. You should see the people over at Camp Campbell. I'm normal compared to them"
"Seriously, how the fuck are you not blinking?" Said Max.
"Silly, Max," said the man already knowing his name. "I'm an alien who merely made a body, to blend in with you humans. After 200 years you can do it too Max"
Again the man wasn't blinking and Max felt hella uncomfortable.
"Now, let's split you up into Boys and Girls," said Daniel. "The boys come with me and the Girls go with Jen"
The woman appeared again and the girls went with her and he began to walk to the boy cabin.
"Honestly, this isn't the strangest place, my parents have dumped me at," said Max, before Daniel opened the door.
Instead, they expected awful living conditions, however, they got a room nicer than their own bedrooms.
"What in the world? Air conditioning too?" Said Max, as the guys rushed to the beds.
"Of course," said Daniel. "Here at Camp Alien, we want to make your final weeks as humans as comfortable as possible. This way, the crushing reality of where your going will hit you much faster"
Silence.
Dead silence.
"See you guys in 10 minutes. I'll be back to take you to the hall" he said, and then he left.
"Creepy as fuck-" Max began before he heard.
"This Camp has free WiFi!" Said, one kid.
Everybody looked at their phones and saw that it was true.
The thing came back later and took their phones from them.
They were not pleased.
"Research has shown, Kids, follow an adult when you have their phones, so follow me to the hall," he said, and they all grumbled as they did so.
They entered the hall and found padded seats and airconditioning.
They sat down.
"Now this is my co-worker Jen," said Daniel, interesting the blond female at last. "She is much more familiar with Earth than I am so she's a great help. She was even the one who informed me that you can call for help over the internet. So we've blacked every help websites, help phone numbers and every digital sentence that can allude to being trapped here. So suck it up"
And then Jen said. "So, while you're here, everybody gets three meals a day. Well start you off with any human food you want and then slowly get you used to the food made on our terrible planet"
"Right, Jen," said Daniel, before he spoke to them and said. "And you'll also be learning our language, you'll be put into environments that are similar to our planets, learn the history and we'll teach you how to fire a blaster with dummies"
Of course, he wasn't stupid enough to give them actual blasters.
"Now, you'll be received a small booklet with some questions." He said. "We want you to answer them as best as you can. It's all normal camp stuff so don't be shy. We are still a camp after all"
And then they began to hand them out along with a semi-sharp pencil.
Daniel creepily turned to Max and smiled.
The boy looked rightfully uncomfortable before the guy looked away.
Max cursed his parents so hard right now, the Camp was literally hiding nothing on the brochure, a parent must truly be an awful person to send them here.
"Alright, pencils down," said Jen and then they began to collect the paper when Daniel got to Max, the boy stabbed him in the hand with a pencil.
So without blinking the man said. "I like how you don't fear me, Max."
"You act like an every cult leader who ends up murdering his followers at the end of the day," said the boy.
"Really? That's the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me" said Daniel. "You truly have a way with words," he said this as he slid the pencil out of his hand and walked away to collect more paper.
And that's when they all heard the sound of gunshots and a police siren.
But it wasn't at the Camp like it should be, which meant this land was sketchy as fuck.
"Now, we'll go to the food hall where you will be served your Lunch," said Jen.
"Will you spike it?" Said Max.
"Silly, Max. We don't do that until day 3" said Daniel.
They entered the lunch place and again it was nice, they saw the person behind the counter was a robot who asked them what they wanted to eat.
This would have been an amazing camp if the end game wasn't so horrifying.
The instructors only had water while staring at everybody who was eating and waiting for everybody to finish before taking them to the lesson building and putting them in front of a whiteboard.
"Alright, Campers," said Jen. "We are going to tell you about the surrounding Camps"
The screen came to life and they saw a pretty school like Camp.
"This is the Flower Girls Camp," said Daniel. "Just think about their camp being a boarding school instead of a camp. Every year they take part in fundraisers like they sell cookies to the local people. Cookies, that we'll never touch because we think it's gross"
And then the screen changed and Jen said. "And then there is the Pirate Camp. It's exactly what you think it is, there really isn't anything interesting about them"
The slide changed again and they saw something spooky looking.
"This is Spooky island," said Daniel. "A normal person would have been too scared to go but we've seen people die in horrific manners so we went first. We found a ghost child and old people having sex. Don't go over there"
"Eww," they all said.
The slide changed and Jen said. "This is the Wood Scouts. For some reason, it's always dark there and children are more like animals than people. Do not trust anybody in that Camp, they have an obsession with trying to steal campers. Their low rate is because they do stuff like kidnap people and dangle them off a bridge. Most things are on fire over there"
They got it and the screen changed.
"Now the last one," said, Daniel. "This is the most interesting one. Our research shows that Camp Campbell is a scam, it's constantly masquerading as different camps, whether it's Art camp or Space Camp. Logically speaking, there is no way it has the money to be all those Camps at once, so shady stuff goes down"
"And speaking of shady stuff," said Jen. "Let's talk about how they run the Camp. They don't have money and it shows in the Camp exterior."
Daniel continued and said. "There huntmaster is a hook horror movie cliche. The Founder of the camp is constantly running from the law. The quartermaster is every villain in a forest horror movie and two that are left, look like another version of us. Jen counterpart has the eyes of despair because she clearly wants another job. While my counterpart is not very smart, for some reason he's positive all the time and I don't know why. Then there's the Teen Church Camp but they never engage in anything. However, despite all these awful Camps near us, we have to make them believe that we care."
"Now between Camps there can be overlap," said Jen. "So we may experience visitors here and take part in one or two cross camp activists"
"So feel free to tell them what is happening at this camp because nobody will believe you," said Daniel, with a smile. "Well, just play this whole thing as getting into character. Research shows, people are more likely to believe an adult rather than a child. Great for us but terrible for you"
"Now, who wants to learn how to pitch a tent? This is still Camp after all" said Jen.
Silence.
"Afterwards, we'll have a camp party with Pizza" Jen added, which got them on board with it.
They all went outside and some invisible force had already laid out all their equipment for them.
However, as terrifying as their councillors we're, all the kids were shocked that they were actually trying to teach them how to set up a tent.
Max was very surprised when the creepy man bent down beside him and started guiding him gently to finish his tent.
Once all the tents were put up, Daniel said "Very good everybody. So before we have this party. Are there any allergies that your parents haven't told us about? Because we don't want you bending over and dying because of the Pizza we're going to have"
"Actually, I'm allergic to cheese," said Max, holding his hand up.
"Nice try Max but we already analysed you," said Jen.
"When?" Said Max.
"When you were all in your cabins," said, Daniel. "Now, let Jen show you how to set up a fire and I'll get the Pizza" and then he walked away.
When he came back, the fire was brewing.
"Excellent work everybody," he said, putting the hot boxes down and opening them up.
He then got out a violin.
"Holy shit dude, are you like the devil?" said Max.
"I greatly admire your humans Devil." He said before he said. "Keep the compliments coming, Max" and then he began to play.
He began singing about horrible stuff showing just how warped he was, a lot of them were terrified.
However, to those outside the barrier, it had been filtered enough to sound like he was singing a nice campfire song and their horrified gasps had been filtered into cheers and claps.
But he did eventually go into normal campfire songs, without the horror, and to their shock, they could hear he had quiet the voice.
He had the voice of an angel but he was actually the devil, and that's what will lure people to their deaths.
The other camps didn't know his personality so they just heard a heavenly voice coming from a certain direction.
"Mmm, whoever has that voice can do me any day," said the Flowers Scouts Gardening mother, Penelope Priss as she smoked a cigarette outside.
The party was over within hours but it felt like minutes to those who were listening.
"And that concludes the day," he said. "Now what did you learn from your first day?"
A kid rose her hand up.
"Yes, Yoko?" He said.
"Never take cool-aid from you?" She said.
"Exactly," he said. "My favourite method of torment is rat poison Cool aid. If you don't want to die, don't take it" before he said "Oh, yes. What do you humans say to wish you good night?"
"Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite," said Jen.
"Thank you, Jen," he said. "Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite," he said with a creepy smile on his face.
And then both of them walked back to the cabin.
Leaving the kids near the putout campfire, alone.
"...I kind of like them" said a girl, as everybody looked at her like she was crazy. "I'm mean apart from them being murderous and wanting to turn us, they gave us nice beds, good food, gave all of us attention so that we can all pitch a tent and gave us a kick-ass campfire party with Pizza. No Guardian has even tried half as hard for me. All my parents care about is looking good to outside people, they don't actually care. They signed me here to get rid of me so they can say their daughters being kidnapped and get sympathy. I'll rather be here than home"
And then she began walking back to the female cabin.
Indeed she was right if they got past the creepiness and the end goal, the two gave them more attention than most of them had ever had in their entire lives.
The sad truth was, it was better for them to be with murderous aliens than be at home.
Where the hell will they go if they escaped?
Wouldn't they just be sent back?
However, Max was not going to give up his humanity without a fight.
His body was the only thing that was his to control after all.
And scene!