I do not own Merlin this is for entertainment only. Enjoy!

Merlin sat on the edge of Avalon, knees drawn up to his chest, oblivious to the pouring rain soaking him through to his skin. The bitter cold breeze blowing off the water sent involuntary shivers through his body. Time seemed to stand still as he grieved. Arthur was gone.

Despite Kilgharrah's reassurance that he had not failed in his destiny, he felt the weight of guilt and regret. He had lost his best friend. The prophecy had come true despite all he had done to stop it. Mordred had taken Arthur's life.

All the things he had fought so hard against, all the times he had done what he felt was right…in the end it had all been for naught. The choices he had made still brought him here…alone on the shore of Avalon where he had been for more days than he cared to count.

Merlin picked up a rock tossing it into the lake watching as ripples spread out across its glassy surface. For a moment he considered letting the waters swallow him up in the same way ending the pain and emptiness he felt.

Closing his eyes tightly, he fought back tears. His head drifting back as a guttural cry erupted from his very soul. It echoed through the woods sending birds hastily skyward and frightening a deer that had been grazing nearby.

"Merlin," his father's voice penetrated his despair.

"Father?"

"Merlin, my son. It's time for you to return to Camelot."

"Camelot will go on without me."

"Arthur's legacy…Camelot's future still rests on your shoulders. You are needed now more than ever."

"I failed Arthur."

"Merlin, you must not give up. Morgana may be dead, and the war over, but there will be many threats ahead. The queen will need you by her side to protect her and the child she carries."

"Child?" Merlin asked in surprise.

"Yes, Merlin. Arthur's son."

Merlin looked out over the water. "Arthur," he said his voice breaking.

"Take care of them for me, old friend."

"I will, I promise." Merlin gave a slight nod.

Rising to his feet he walked back toward camp. After giving the horses food and water, he packed up his meager supplies. Then, climbing into the saddle, he took one last look at the lake before turning the horses toward Camelot.

Queen Guinevere made her way quickly toward the main entrance of the castle. Merlin had been spotted by patrols approaching Camelot and she wanted to be the first to welcome him home. She knew what he must be going through.

While she may have been Arthur's wife and queen, Merlin had dedicated his life to protecting him. Their friendship and mutual respect had grown into something special through the years. To the outside observer they had sometimes seemed more like brothers than master and servant.

Knowing now what Merlin had given up for Arthur. What an immense weight he had on his young shoulders all while being forced to keep his magic a secret. She remembered the day she first met him like it was yesterday. Seeing him in the stocks after standing up to Arthur his first day in Camelot she had known then that he was brave and strong, and now that she knew the truth she realized just how much so.

How many times had Merlin used his magic to save Arthur…Camelot? All while receiving no recognition, no appreciation. Without him she would not be queen, she would not even be alive. So many things made sense now that did not before she knew the truth.

Reaching the top of the steps, Guinevere looked toward the drawbridge. Merlin was just entering the square on his own horse while leading Arthur's. The sight shattered her already broken heart. She could tell immediate by his posture that he was struggling emotionally.

Merlin slid off his horse looking up as Gwen came down the steps. He shook his head slowly, "I'm so sorry," he said his shoulders sagging, blue eyes shining with ushed tears. "I couldn't save him," he said his voice breaking.

"Merlin," Gwen threw her arms around his neck holding him, pressing her hand to the back of his head. "I know you did all you could. You are not to blame. You saved the kingdom. You saved everything Arthur held dear."

"I should have saved him," Merlin said.

Gwen drew back framing his face with her hands. "Merlin, I know now. I know everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes, dear friend…I know that you have magic. I know you were the sorcerer in the battle."

"Gaius told you…"

"I pieced it together myself, he merely confirmed it."

"How?"

"I knew you would never leave Arthur's side in the heat of battle. When I saw the sorcerer, I knew he was there to protect him and there has never been anyone more dedicated to doing so than you, Merlin."

"But I failed," Merlin said.

Gwen smiled through her tears as she shook her head. "No, Merlin. You did not fail. No one, no matter how powerful, can alter fate. I know you did everything you could to save Arthur and I do not want you to burden yourself with guilt."

"I killed, Morgana," Merlin said.

Gwen heard something in his voice. Not pridefulness, but a deep grief that only she understood. Morgana had once been their friend and whatever she had done still did not change that fact. They had both cared about her.

"Percival told us. He discovered her body on his way back to Camelot after leaving you at the Lake of Avalon. He said you refused to return with him."

"I was afraid to come back. I couldn't face you."

"This is your home, Merlin. It always will be."

"It won't be when the people know the truth about me. My secret."

"They already know, Merlin."

"What?"

Gwen smiled brightly touching his cheek. "You are free, Merlin. I have lifted the ban on magic. You no longer have to hide your gift."

"Really?" Merlin asked.

"Yes, Merlin. You are a hero and deserve to be treated as such. Come, now…join me for supper. We have much to talk about," Gwen smiled linking her arm with his as they walked together up the steps.

Entering the castle, Merlin was greeted by loud applause and bows of respect from the people of Camelot. They lined the corridors leading to the great dining hall. He turned to Gwen in confusion.

"This is for you, Merlin. All for you."

"But I don't deserve this…"

"You deserve this and more," Gwen smiled.

As they walked through the doors into the dining hall Merlin saw Gaius who embraced him tightly. "Welcome home, my boy."

"Gaius," Merlin said then turned to see his mother beaming. "Mother," he exclaimed hugging her.

"Merlin, I am so proud of you," she said with tears of joy in her eyes.

"I can't believe this," Merlin said softly.

"They are here for you," Hunith smiled caressing his cheek.

Merlin bowed his head. He felt the warmth and acceptance of the people surrounding him. Yet he knew deep down he was not worthy. There were things he had done, choices he had made that he was not proud of."

Sensing his trepidation, Gaius put his hand on Merlin's shoulders and smiled. "Merlin, you have more than earned their respect."

"But Gaius…"

"Merlin, Arthur would want this for you," Gwen said softly placing a hand on his shoulder. "Come, sit next to me," she smiled linking her arm with his again guiding him to the head table.

As he took the seat next to the queen, he was surprised to see Sefa appear next to him filling his goblet with wine. "Sefa, you're back."

"Yes, the queen pardoned me," she said with a shy and grateful smile.

"I'm so glad," Merlin said his blue eyes meeting hers.

"Welcome home," Sefa blushed under his gaze.

"Thank you," he smiled.

With his mother next to him and Gaius beside her, Merlin enjoyed the feast in his honor. It was so much more than he ever expected. Remembering his father's words, he glanced over at Gwen. Despite her outward appearance he could see the pain and grief in her dark eyes. Soon she would learn of the life growing inside her.

Fighting back another wave of grief, Merlin focused on the food in front of him. Gwen seemed to sense his pain reaching over to squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"He is still with us, Merlin," Gwen smiled.

"I would gladly trade places with him if I could."

"I know you would, but Arthur would not want that. Though he did not always show it, he cared for you a great deal. He would want you to be happy."

"When I told him the truth about me, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was so afraid he would not forgive me, but he did. I wish now that I had told him sooner."

"Did he suffer? Was he in a lot of pain?"

"No, My Lady, I think he knew his time was near, and he was at peace with it."

"I just wish I had been able to say goodbye. To see him one last time."

"He loved you so very much."

"And I him," Gwen smiled sadly tears shining in her eyes. "I know you would have healed him if it had been in your power to do so. As I now know it was you that healed my father all those years ago."

"Yes, and you were almost executed because of it."

"Arthur surviving the fatal bite of the Questing Beast, the Great Dragon, the Perilous Lands, and when I poisoned him as Morgana's pawn. The sorceress at the Cauldron of Arianrhod who broke her control over me…it was all you…your magic."

"It was also I who released the Great Dragon," Merlin said softly, lowering his head in shame.

"I know," Gwen said.

"How can you know that and still believe me worthy of any of this?" he asked looking at her in surprise.

"Because you risked your life by Arthur's side to stop the dragon. And I suspect there is much more to the story that you have left out. Like the fact that the Dragonlord who died meant more to you than you ever admitted to Arthur."

"How did you know?"

"I overheard you and Gaius talking after you and Arthur returned. I had seen the anguish in your eyes and followed Gaius to your chambers to check on you."

"Why did you never say anything?" Merlin asked.

"The Dragonlord was your father."

"Yes."

"And when he died you inherited his powers. Which is how you saved Arthur's life yet again."

Merlin lowered his gaze, "It was also I who healed Morgana after her fall which I caused with magic. I knew she was destined for evil and yet I chose to heal her anyway. I thought it was just because I could not bear to watch everyone's grief. But also, because I wanted to believe there was still good in her."

"Morgana made her choice. She was driven by her lust for power and her hatred. She gave in to the darkness. I was her maid and I failed to see the signs until it was too late."

"I have done things that hurt people…people died. How does that make me any better than her?"

Gwen leaned closer placing her hand on his arm. "The difference between you and Morgana is that you have always tried to see the good in people. You put the well-being of others before yourself. Everything you did was out of love, not hate, Merlin. Forgive yourself. Arthur would not want you to keep carrying this burden and neither do I."

"Arthur," Merlin smiled sadly, "It's funny I hated him when we first met. Now I am lost without him. I was happy to be his servant…his friend and protector. I don't know how to be anything else."

"Merlin," Gwen smiled, "While I may not be Arthur, I am your friend as I have been since the day we met. I would like you to consider being my protector and advisor."

Merlin smiled as he gave a slight nod. "I would be honored," he said softly.

"Then it is settled."

"At least I won't have to polish armor anymore," he grinned, raising an eyebrow.

Gwen laughed and embraced Merlin, "Very true."

"Thank you, My Lady."

"You're welcome, Merlin."

Merlin slipped outside after the feast and sat down on the steps breathing in the night air. He looked up at the star-filled sky the moon was nearly full. The square was empty except for the guards by the drawbridge. He could hear their muffled voices and laughter.

The ache inside him had not eased. Despite Gwen's reassurance, he still felt as though he was drowning. Because of him she had lost her husband, Camelot had lost their king and Arthur's child would grow up without his father just as he had.

"Arthur," he said softly his voice breaking as tears sprung to his eyes.

"Merlin," Sefa said sitting down next to him.

"Sefa, I'm afraid I am not very good company right now," quickly swiping at his tears.

"I don't mind…really. You look like you need a friend."

Merlin nodded gratefully before turning his attention back to the sky. They sat in silence for a while before he looked at her. "I never thought I would see you again after…"

Sefa nodded, "After I betrayed everyone."

"How did you end up back in Camelot?"

"One of the patrols found me. The queen had instructed them that if I was found I was to be brought to her alive. She forgave me and granted me a pardon so I could stay in Camelot. I swore my allegiance to her and the kingdom for the rest of my life. I owe her everything."

"So, your father…he was a sorcerer."

"Yes," Sefa lowered her gaze. "He was a good man…all he wanted was to be free, to be respected. Morgana corrupted him."

"Morgana," Merlin said his voice filled with regret. "You know, she wasn't always evil. She was once my friend until…everything changed."

"You cared for her?"

"I did."

"What caused her to change?"

Merlin fell silent for a moment then looked up at the sky. "I wasn't there for her when she needed me. I could have helped her…should have helped her. Instead, I chose to keep my secret. Maybe if I had not done so your father would still be alive. Morgana destroyed so many lives."

"How could you have known?"

"I did know. Just as I knew my own destiny was to protect Arthur. In the end I failed them both…" his voice drifted off. He felt Sefa's hands grasp his. Her touch stemming the flow of grief, even if just for a moment.

"Merlin, I admire you."

"Me?" Merlin asked with a shy grin.

"To carry such a weight on your shoulders. To fight for what you believed in, for what was right. You were strong and brave. It can't have been easy to live your life in fear of your magic being discovered while trying to protect the people you love."

"It wasn't."

"Merlin, I hope you will forgive me for what I did and give me the chance to make amends."

"Sefa, there is nothing to forgive. Believe me, I know what it is like to make mistakes. I understand more than anyone."

"Well then, if you can forgive me then you must forgive yourself," she said softly.

"You are a good person, Sefa."

"I must go check on the queen, good night, Merlin," she smiled rising to her feet.

"Good night, Sefa. Thank you."

Left alone again, Merlin suddenly felt overwhelmed. He needed to get out of Camelot. Getting up he walked down the steps and across the courtyard. As soon as he was outside the city walls he started to run. He ran until his lungs burned and his legs trembled.

By the time he stopped he was far from the castle, in the dark woods. Emerging into a clearing he threw his head back emitting the same ancient words he'd used countless times and waited. Nothing. "Kilgharrah!" he yelled but there was no answer.

"Emrys," voices whispered around him.

"Who's there?"

"Emrys…Kilgharrah cannot hear you for he is no longer on this earth."

"No," Merlin gasped tears in his eyes. "He cannot be dead."

"You know it is true for he would come to you if it were not so."

"Who are you?" Merlin spun around as the voices seemed to be moving. "Show yourselves."

"We are not hiding, Emrys. You just cannot see us."

"What are you?" Merlin's eyes sparked gold and suddenly they were there. Hovering in the air around him. Figures moving through the trees on wings of mist. He raised his hand splaying his fingers his eyes taking on an ethereal glow illuminating even more mystical beings.

"We have many names, Emrys. We only wish to help you," the voices said. They shifted and morphed seeming to dissolve then reappear. "You are a son of the earth, the sky, the water…your pain, your grief, it has created a ripple…a vibration that is felt by all with magic."

"No one can help me."

"We have come to offer you the chance to go back to one moment in time. One moment that may or may not change this outcome you face."

"I don't understand."

"In every person's life there is one pivotal moment that changed the course of their existence. One moment that if altered could bring about a whole new reality."

"That is impossible to know," Merlin said shaking his head.

"Return to this place when the moon is full. Choose that moment, Emrys. Choose wisely because there will only be one chance."

"And what if I do not return?"

"We offer you this chance only because we know you are worthy."

"How can you say I am worthy when I failed in my destiny?"

"There are many paths, Emrys. This is your chance to choose another. We will be waiting."

Merlin closed his eyes and when he opened them again, he was alone. The figures were gone. Only the sound of crickets and frogs filled the night air. He turned back toward Camelot walking slowly.

Gaius was still awake when he walked through the door into their chambers. He looked worried as he sat at the table stirring his tea.

"Merlin, where have you been? It is late."

"Sorry, Gaius. I went for a walk." Merlin sat down across the table from his mentor.

"You went to call the Great Dragon," Gaius said knowingly.

Merlin nodded slowly his fingertips lightly pushing around some stray crumbs left on the table. "Kilgharrah is dead."

"Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry."

"He told me his end was near."

"Yes, he was very old," Gaius nodded.

"Gaius, if you could go back and change one moment in your life what would it be?" Merlin asked softly.

Gaius looked at him curiously. "Merlin, I too am very old, there are far too many of those to count. Why do you ask?"

"It doesn't matter," he sighed, "I'm going to bed."

"Sleep well, my boy," Gaius said watching as Merlin climbed the steps to his room. He wished he knew the right thing to say or do to help, but only time would heal the wounds left behind by the loss of Arthur.

Merlin awoke to the sound of a knock on his bedroom door. He sat up as his mother entered with a plate of food. She smiled placing it on the table next to his bed.

"Gaius said you had a rough night," Hunith said softly.

"I am all right," he said.

"I know what Arthur meant to you, Merlin. I also know that you did everything in your power to save him."

"Yes, well it wasn't enough. I should have saved him."

Hunith placed her hand on her son's face and looked directly into his eyes. "Arthur's fate was already determined. There was nothing more you could have done."

"I told him the truth...about my magic."

"I know Gaius told me."

"He was so angry and hurt. If I had told him sooner, told him everything I had foreseen, maybe he would still be alive."

Hunith took hold of his hand. "You did what you believed to be right. You cannot keep blaming yourself."

Merlin nodded then reached for a piece of bread. He looked down at the floor as he took a bite. "With his last words…he thanked me. He accepted me for who I am."

"Then that is what you should hold on to," Hunith embraced her son. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I should go now, and let you eat."

"When will you be returning to Ealdor?"

"I won't be going back, Merlin. The queen has graciously offered me her home to live in and a generous allowance."

"But you love Ealdor."

"Not as much as I love you, my boy. I have missed you so very much. And to be honest I don't think these old bones could have tolerated another harsh winter there."

"Well, I am happy you are staying."

"Everything will be all right, you'll see," Hunith said kissing his cheek before getting up from the bed. She left his room closing the door behind her.

Merlin got up from his bed and opened the window. It seemed like a lifetime ago, the first time he stood in that very spot looking out over the lower town. He had been so naïve and full of hope for the future. Wishing for the day he would be free. Now that day was here, and all he felt was hollow. Without Arthur none of it mattered. He would give it all up to have his best friend back.

It was well after midday when Merlin dismounted from his horse dropping to his knees next to the stones that marked Gwaine's final resting place. He held back tears as he placed his hand on one of the stones.

"You idiot what were you and Percival thinking going up against Morgana? You were a good friend, Gwaine...I'm sorry," he smiled sadly. "I hope they have many fine taverns where you are."

Merlin placed a leather bracelet on the top stone. Gwaine had given it to him when they returned from helping Arthur in the Perilous Lands. Rising to his feet he then climbed back into the saddle turning his horse toward home.

As he rode, he thought about everything that had happened since he first came to Camelot. What moment could he change that would bring about a better outcome? Anything he chose would change any good that had happened as well. He would not give up those moments for anything.

As the walls of Camelot came into view an image of a young happy Morgana came to him. She had been so kind and compassionate. He admired her so much when he first met her. If he had told her the truth about his magic, would she have been so easily corrupted? Would she have gone down the path that led to her ruin?

"Morgana," Merlin said aloud. If he could go back and save her. Keep her from going down the path of destruction. She had been his friend and he'd abandoned her when he should have helped her. "That's it," he said nudging his horse into a full gallop.

"Hello," Merlin shouted into the air in the moonlit clearing. "I am here!"

"Emrys, you have returned."

"I want to accept your offer."

"Very well," the voices surrounded him.

"What do I have to do?"

"Close your eyes, Emrys. Think about the one specific moment that you want to return to."

Merlin closed his eyes. "I have it."

"Open your eyes now."

He opened his eyes. In front of him between the trees was a shimmering portal, like a mirror its surface rippled like molten silver. He stood mesmerized for a moment watching it.

"You must remember, Emrys…once you step through you will be transported to the moment you envision. You can return at any point, but once you do there is no going back, the portal will close. Any interaction in that reality will affect the outcome in this one. Whatever that outcome is it will be of your making and there will be no altering it."

"I understand."

"Farewell, Emrys."

Merlin gave a nod then stepped through the portal…

Morgana cried out in pain as the Serket's poison spread throughout her body. Her vision blurred as more of them approached from all directions. Their high-pitched screeching striking terror in her very soul. In a futile attempt to shield herself from their onslaught, she drew her red cloak tightly around her body. She did not want to die here.

"Help me, please," she screamed as she felt consciousness slipping away. Hearing footsteps she struggled to focus. "Help…"

"I've got you, Morgana."

Hearing the familiar voice, Morgana felt herself being lifted from the ground by a pair of strong arms. Her rescuer cradled her protectively against his chest as she breathed in the smell of old leather, wood smoke and soap. "Thank you," she whispered as everything went dark.

Pulled from her sleep by the warmth of a crackling fire, Morgana felt as though she was floating. Her mind drifted she tried to remember where she was. Her eyes fluttered open her vision clearing slowly as she focused on the flames. Just beyond them a familiar figure crouched stirring the embers before tossing on another log.

It was Merlin, but not Merlin. She blinked her eyes staring at him. He was different…older. Not the gangly servant boy she knew so well. This Merlin was a full-grown, broad-shouldered, handsome man, his vivid blue eyes illuminated by the firelight, haunted by things he had seen. By loss. Morgana forced her body to move drawing his gaze.

"Morgana," Merlin said softly. "You're awake."

"Merlin, I don't understand…what's happening?"

"You're safe now," he said reassuringly.

"You…you're not you."

"I am me," he grinned, "Just not the me you know."

Morgana struggled to sit upright. Merlin moved to her side slipping his arm around her back to assist her. She stared at him silently as she was again enfolded in his warmth…his scent.

"I am sorry I didn't reach you before the Serkets attacked, I had to warn the Druids."

"Merlin, what are you doing here?"

"I promise I will explain everything when you are stronger. You need time to recover."

"I was stung by the Serket…I should be dead."

"You're not going to die," he smiled his eyes meeting hers, "I am not going to lose you…not this time."

Morgana raised her hand to his cheek without thinking. "Lose me?" she asked softly. She was unable to tear her eyes away from his face, his lips…this Merlin was devastatingly handsome. "Please, tell me what is happening."

Merlin shook his head slightly, being so close to her, he could not help but be struck by her stunning beauty and the light in her ethereal green eyes. There was such a stark contrast between this Morgana and the one he left lying lifeless on the hillside overlooking Avalon. His eyes closed as the memories assailed him. A single tear slipped from beneath his long lashes.

"Merlin?" Morgana whispered her fingertips brushing away the tear. She slid her arms around his neck drawing him close. None of this was making any sense, but it was obvious he was in pain, and she felt an inexplicable need to comfort him.

"Morgana," he said reluctantly drawing back from her embrace.

"Merlin, I think you need to tell me. How—why are you here?"

"It's a really long story."

"How is this even possible?"

"Magic," he said softly taking a deep breath.

"Magic?"

"Morgana, I have magic…I was born with it."

"You're a sorcerer?" Morgana asked her eyes flaring.

"Yes."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I made a grave mistake. I knew you had magic and instead of helping you understand it, I abandoned you. I chose to keep my secret rather than letting you know that you were not alone. In doing so I sent you down a path of destruction and darkness."

Morgana crossed her arms over her chest struggling to make sense of what he was saying. She wanted to say he was crazy, but the pain in his eyes was all too real for her not to believe him. "So, you're telling me that you came back in time to tell me you have magic so you could save me from my fate."

Merlin chuckled at how utterly insane that sounded. "Yes."

Morgana fell silent, staring into the dancing flames for a moment before finally taking a deep breath. "So just how do you plan to save me?" she asked turning to look at him. Their eyes met and she smiled. Merlin seemed surprised, a slow grin appearing on his face.

"I have no idea," he said.

Morgana reached out pressing a hand to his chest. "I could never have imagined that skinny, clumsy, brave servant boy would grow up to be..." her voice trailed off.

"What?" Merlin asked.

"My knight in shining armor," Morgana said, her blue-green eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Not quite," he smiled.

"Thank you," she said her expression growing more serious.

Merlin gave a slight nod then got to his feet. "You must be hungry."

"Starving."

"Here you go, it isn't much," he smiled handing her a piece of tree bark with berries, nuts and a piece of cooked fish.

Morgana ate slowly, watching him intently. He moved with such confidence and strength. So different from the boy she knew. Her heart fluttered as she remembered him carrying her…being in his arms. This Merlin was so different, yet the same. His innate kindness and compassion, his easy smile. Knowing now that he has magic made her feel more drawn to him. They were alike. She was no longer alone. Finishing the last of her food Merlin passed her his water pouch.

"Thank you," she said. His blue eyes looked lighter. The shadows retreating from their depths just a little.

"You're welcome."

"Merlin, did you really come back just for me?"

Merlin moved to sit next to her again. "When I looked back at all the choices I made, the good and the bad…it was this one I regretted the most. I let you leave Camelot alone in search of the Druids when all along I had the answers you were seeking."

"I do not blame you for keeping your secret, Merlin. I understand why you did it. Uther would have executed you if he ever found out. To think it was he that made you Arthur's servant."

Merlin looked down as Morgana laced her fingers through his. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you."

"I forgive you," she said as she put her free hand beneath his chin urging him to look at her.

Merlin's gaze lingered on her face for a moment. "I had forgotten just how beautiful you were," he said softly.

Morgana laughed, "Why, did I turn into a hideous old crone or something?"

"Something like that," Merlin said the shadows returning.

"Merlin," Morgana said reaching out to touch his face again. "You're here now, that is what matters. Whatever I became, you chose to come back and prevent it. We are magic," she laughed her eyes tearing up. Ignoring the pain in her leg she moved closer to him.

Merlin gathered her into his embrace holding her close. With her head resting against his chest as she fell asleep. In that moment he suddenly realized the truth, he had not just come back to save her from the darkness, he came back because he needed her to save him. Smiling tenderly, he brushed her hair back from her face pressing his lips to her forehead.

Carefully shifting position until they were both lying down, with her back to his chest, Merlin covered her with his jacket. "I'm going to take care of you, Morgana. I swear."

Morgana woke to the sound of birds and the last hisses and pops of the dying fire. She felt the warmth of Merlin's arms around her and opened her eyes. She had turned in his embrace during the night and was now facing him. He was still sound asleep. She studied the lines of his face…his cheekbones, his full lips and long lashes. Gently plucking a small twig and a piece of a leaf from his scruffy hair she stifled a giggle.

Yes, she had always been fond of Merlin though she could never have admitted it out loud. His kindness and compassion, he was cute and funny and very brave. She could still scarcely believe the man before her now was the same person.

Looking back, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. The times that Arthur's life had been saved when all hope seemed lost. The mysterious wind in Ealdor that turned the battle against the bandits. It had all been Merlin. She remembered when he confessed to being a sorcerer in order to save Gwen. If Arthur had believed him, he would have been put to death.

Merlin had given up everything to protect Arthur and Camelot. Hiding his true self, pretending to be a fool, when in truth he was a hero. And now he had come from a future where she had become an unholy monster, hoping to save her from that fate. She did not deserve his sacrifice.

Merlin stirred opening his eyes. "Good morning," he said his voice husky.

"Don't move," Morgana smiled.

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"You always were demanding," he grinned sleepily.

"I wish I had known."

"What?"

"Everything you did…for Arthur, for Camelot…"

"I only did what had to be done."

Morgana looked into his eyes her fingertips tracing his jawline. Before she could stop herself, she kissed him, reveling in the taste of his full lips the gentleness of his touch as his hand caressed her cheek. It was as if she had suddenly awakened into the light. In him she had found solace…a refuge. With him she no longer had to be afraid of who she was.

"Morgana," Merlin said softly against her lips.

"Whatever happens, Merlin. Promise me that we won't lose this."

"I promise. I will never abandon you again."

"What can we do? Where should we go?" Morgana asked searching his eyes.

Merlin sat up bringing her with him. "First we need to find shelter. Someplace safe where we can figure out the next step. All I know for certain is you cannot return to Camelot."

"Of course not. I am not leaving your side and you certainly cannot walk into Camelot looking like you. You could run into your younger self and that would be awkward."

"To say the least," he grinned.

"Though I would love to see the look on Arthur's face if he saw you now, I bet you could really teach him that lesson."

"Come on," Merlin chuckled then rose to his feet before helping her up wrapping his strong arm around her waist so she could avoid putting weight on her leg.

"It doesn't hurt that bad," Morgana said.

"I did a healing spell, but it will take some time."

"You're quite handy to have around."

Merlin wrapped his jacket securely around her shoulders then scooped her up in his arms. "I know a place we can go."

"Where?"

"Ealdor," Merlin said.

"Are you crazy you will give your poor mother a heart attack showing up like this."

"It's the one place I know we will be safe."

"You cannot carry me all the way to Ealdor, Merlin."

"Watch me," Merlin grinned.

It was nearly dark by the time they reached Ealdor. Morgana finally managed to convince Merlin to let her walk with just his arm for support. As they approached his mother's house, she stopped him.

"Let me go first and prepare her," Morgana said.

"Good idea," Merlin nodded watching as she limped to the door and knocked. It opened a couple of seconds later.

"Lady Morgana," Hunith said in surprise, quickly taking in the young woman's disheveled appearance and the bandage on her leg. "What happened to you?"

Morgana put her hand on Hunith's shoulder. "I'm not alone, Hunith. I need you to take a deep breath."

"What's wrong?"

"Merlin is with me."

"Merlin! Is he hurt?"

"No, no…he is perfectly fine. It's just, well, he is not exactly the Merlin you know."

"I don't understand."

"There is no easy way to explain this so…" Morgana said gently urging her back into the house. "Merlin," she called out.

"Mother," Merlin said as he stepped across the threshold.

Hunith looked at him in confusion as tears sprung to her eyes. She took a hesitant step toward him before rushing into his open arms embracing him tightly. "You're so handsome, my boy," she laughed through her tears.

"I'm so sorry to come here like this, but I didn't know where else to go."

"This is your home, Merlin," Hunith smiled looking him over, her hands framing his face. "Now will you please explain how it is that you are a grown man when I only saw you a short time ago?"

"I traveled through a magical portal from my time to now. I had to come back to save someone I care about," he said glancing at Morgana.

Hunith looked between her son and Lady Morgana and shook her head slowly. "I am not sure I understand, but I am so glad you are here."

"We couldn't return to Camelot so we came here until I can figure out what to do and give Morgana time to heal."

"You are both exhausted and you need something to eat," Hunith said rushing to stoke the fire and warm up the venison stew she had made for dinner.

Merlin helped Morgana over to a bed. As he crouched down before her to examine her leg, he reached up caressing her cheek with the side of his hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, a little sore, and I could do with a hot bath and a change of clothes, but I am happy," she replied, "Happier than I have ever been in my life."

"Let me do another healing spell," he said placing his hand just over her wound.

Morgana sat mesmerized as Merlin incanted the spell in a voice that seemed to come from somewhere deep within his very soul. His blue eyes transformed to shimmering gold as a gentle heat flowed from his hand into her leg.

"If I had seen you do that before I would have fallen for you right then and there."

Merlin laughed, "Really?"

"Yes," she said kissing him.

Hunith cleared her throat smiling. "The stew is hot," she said handing a bowl to Morgana helping her lay back on the bed while propping her up with blankets and a pillow so she could eat. "There now you eat. Let me know if you want more." She placed half a loaf of bread on the bed next to her.

"Thank you, Hunith, you are so kind."

"You are very welcome."

Hunith turned to her son and hugged him again. "Come…eat."

Merlin followed her over to the table where they sat down. He picked up the spoon and started to eat. "I have missed home so much," he smiled.

"Look at you so grown up. You're a man."

"Mother," he grinned.

"I can see though that you have been through a lot. There's a sadness in you that wasn't there before."

Merlin nodded, "I wish I could tell you everything, but I don't think it would be good. I do not want to risk altering more than I have already just by being here."

"I understand. Just tell me one thing. Why did you come here?"

Merlin glanced over at Morgana she had finished her stew and was falling asleep. He smiled. "In the beginning I thought it was to save Morgana from her fate. Now I realize it was much more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"I know now that in saving her I save myself."

"Because you care for her."

Merlin nodded, "She was the Lady Morgana, and I was just Arthur's servant. When I found out she had magic it gave me hope. But then circumstances forced me to keep my secret from her. I sent her down a dark path. I blame myself for what she became."

"And Arthur?"

"I lost him too. I failed in my destiny. He died…I couldn't save him."

"Oh Merlin, I am so sorry."

"I failed them both."

"Merlin, I am certain that you did everything in your power. Did he know your secret in the end?"

"Yes."

"He accepted you for who you are?"

"He did."

"Then that is what you should hold on to.

"I miss him so much."

"I told you before that the two of you were like two sides of the same coin."

Merlin nodded, "Yes."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure," Merlin replied.

"What if you take her with you? Back to your own time? You would prevent her from taking that dark path and the two of you can be together."

"I thought of that. Only if it is what she wants."

"Merlin, I see the way she looks at you. She will go."

"I hope so. I cannot lose her again."

"Finish your stew then get some sleep. You look like you haven't had a good night's rest in weeks."

"I'm glad we came here," Merlin smiled as his mother kissed the top of his head.

"So am I," she said hugging him tightly.

After finishing his stew, Merlin walked over to the bed. He slipped the empty bowl out of Morgana's hand then carefully removed the blankets that were propping her up leaving just the pillow beneath her head. He put his hand over her wound again incanting another spell before covering her with one of the blankets. Then grabbing a couple more he made himself a bed on the floor.

Morgana stirred her eyes opening slightly. "Good night, Merlin," she whispered.

"Good night, Morgana."

Merlin woke to the sound of laughter. He did not move, he just listened. His mother was telling Morgana embarrassing stories about him as a child, and she was enjoying every bit of it. He rolled over onto his side then got up from the bed. He found them sitting by the fire drinking hot tea.

"Good morning," Morgana beamed. "I have been learning many interesting things about you."

"Thank you, mother," he said rolling his eyes.

"It is my duty, dear son."

"You look rested," Merlin said to Morgana, "How is your leg?"

"It is much better thanks to you."

Merlin knelt to examine it and nodded. It is healing nicely."

Hunith finished her tea rising from her chair. "I must go feed the animals. You two have much to talk about. I laid out the nicest dress I have for you Morgana, it should fit you nicely. There's also a bucket of water so you can wash the dirt from your lovely face."

"Thank you so much, Hunith," Morgana smiled gratefully taking hold of the older woman's hand.

Merlin hugged his mother tightly then she walked out the door closing it behind her.

"I take it you have something to tell me," Morgana said.

"I want you to come back with me to my time?"

"What will that mean for the future? What will it change?"

"I am not sure, but I cannot remain here, and I definitely cannot be without you now. Come with me, Morgana. If you stay here, there is too much that could go wrong, and I won't be able to protect you."

"But what about the other me in that time?"

Merlin's gaze dropped as his eyes filled with pain again. "Morgana…" his voice wavered.

"Merlin, what is it, just tell me, please."

Dropping to his knees in front of her he took hold of her hands. "Morgana, in my time you are dead…by my hand," he said his voice edged with fear and regret. "I took your life."

Morgana shook her head, eyes filling with tears. She turned away from him crossing her arms over her chest her shoulders trembling violently.

"I'm so sorry. I should have told you, but I did not know how." Merlin embraced her from behind. "Morgana…please," he whispered his hands gently grasping her upper arms.

"That is why you came for me," she said softly her voice breaking. "Merlin, she—I must have become a monster. What horrors I must have committed to drive you to the point of killing me." Then a sudden realization hit her. "I heard you last night. You told your mother that Arthur died…did I kill him?"

"Morgana…"

"Tell me the truth," Morgana said turning to face him. It was right there in his eyes. "Oh Merlin…" she gasped folding in on herself.

"You led the Saxons against the Camelot army…with Mordred the Druid boy. It was he who stabbed Arthur with a sword that you forged in a dragon's breath. Arthur was badly wounded. I was taking him to Avalon to the Sidhe in hopes of saving him when you caught up to us. I was forced to kill you with Arthur's sword. As you took your last breath a part of me died with you."

Morgana met his gaze. "How can you still want to save me after what I became, what I must have put you through."

"You did try to kill me," Merlin said with a crooked grin, "A few times actually."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Yes," Merlin said softly raising an eyebrow.

Morgana smiled shaking her head. She could not believe the effect he was having on her. "Merlin, what if I am not worth saving? What if I am fated to become that wicked person no matter what I do? What if I hurt you again?"

"You won't."

"How can you possible know that?"

"Morgana, please…that is never going to be you. Not now. Together we can and will change your fate."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because I love you…I think I always have. From the moment I first saw you."

Morgana forgot whatever she had been about to say as she stared at Merlin. She reached out taking hold of his hands, tears filling her eyes. "How can you say that after everything I did?"

"Because it is the truth," he smiled.

Morgana moved into his strong embrace. She kissed him then looked deep into his eyes. "I love you too."

Merlin kissed her back then smiled, "Come with me. Whatever happens, we face it together. I promise."

"Then let's go," she said with a slight nod, her green eyes shining.

Morgana emerged from the house an hour later, wearing Hunith's dress. It fit her perfectly and although it was far from her usual attire, she felt comfortable and clean. She had washed her hair putting it into a simple braid that reached down her back.

Merlin finished saddling the horse his mother had given them. He turned to her raising an eyebrow. "You look lovely," he said.

"Thank you, sire," she smiled going into an exaggerated curtsy.

Hunith laughed, "You two take care of each other."

"We will," Morgana said taking hold of Merlin's hand.

"You're doing the right thing," Hunith said.

"Goodbye, mother…I love you so much," Merlin smiled kissing her cheek.

"I love you too…be careful."

"We will. Just go on with life as if we were never here," Merlin said.

"That will be hard to do," Hunith smiled.

"Goodbye, and thank you," Morgana said embracing her.

"You're welcome. Now go. It will be dark in a few hours."

Merlin nodded then helped Morgana onto the horse before climbing up behind her. With a last glance at his mother, he urged the mare toward the woods one arm wrapped protectively around the woman he loved.

Morgana rested her head against his chest closing her eyes. Even with the unknown future waiting for them on the other side, she knew that there was nowhere she would rather be than with Merlin.

More than halfway to their destination, Merlin suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of horses and men. A moment later a group of Camelot Knights led by Arthur emerged from the valley below.

"It's Arthur," Morgana whispered, "If he sees us."

"He won't," Merlin said urging the mare into a thick stand of trees.

"They are searching for me."

"Yes, that is why I warned the Druids, so they had time to leave. Uther believed that they kidnapped you."

"Arthur will be devastated when he fails to bring me back to Camelot."

"I know, but we have no choice."

"Goodbye, Arthur…" Morgana whispered.

"There is something you should know, Morgana."

"What?"

"Arthur…he's your half-brother."

Morgana's back stiffened instantly. "You mean Uther is my father?"

"Yes."

"He lied to me?"

"I'm sorry to tell you this way, but you should know before we go any further."

Morgana fell silent. She struggled to grasp the realization that her own father lied to her about her birth. Betrayed her.

"Morgana?" Merlin asked worry in his voice.

"It doesn't matter now," she said softly looking up at him.

"Are you sure?"

"I am. I don't need anyone but you, Merlin. Let's go."

Merlin gave a nod then urged the mare into a gallop taking them far away from Arthur Pendragon and Camelot.

"Last chance," Merlin said in Morgana's ear as he guided the horse toward the portal. "There's no going back once we pass through."

Morgana tilted her head back drawing him into a kiss before giving him a beautiful smile. "I'm ready."

Merlin nodded then urged the mare forward. They passed through the portal emerging into the clearing in the woods beneath the full moon. To him it seemed like no time had passed at all since he had gone through it. He turned the horse around just as the portal seemed to break apart like glass before evaporating in a cloud of luminous mist.

"Definitely no going back," Morgana said a tinge of fear in her voice.

"We will face whatever consequences together," Merlin said holding her firmly against his chest as he urged the mare toward where he hoped Camelot still stood.

When the castle came into view, he released the breath he had not realized he'd been holding. It was there, it was real.

"You're scared," Morgana said, "I can feel your heart racing."

"Let's just say that not all of my decisions have had positive outcomes."

"Are you having regrets?"

Merlin looked down at her and smiled. "Not at all."

"Good because you're stuck with me now."

"I could always stab you again," he shrugged with a crooked grin.

"I supposed you could," Morgana laughed jabbing him with her elbow.

"Ow," he grimaced.

"Merlin, we will be all right," she said softly.

They rode through the gates and into the courtyard the echo of hoofbeats on the cobblestones. Merlin stopped the mare at the base of the steps and slid off before helping Morgana down. Their eyes met neither of them saying anything.

"Merlin, where have you been?"

Merlin froze for a moment then turned to look up the steps as a very much alive Arthur descended to smack him on the back of the shoulder.

"Why are you staring at me like I have two heads?" Arthur laughed.

"Arthur!"

"That is my name."

"You're…alive!"

"Of course, I am, idiot. Did he hit his head or something, Morgana?"

Morgana looked at Arthur the same look of disbelief on her face. "Arthur," she said softly then threw her arms around his neck bursting into tears.

"What's wrong with you two?" Arthur laughed hugging her back.

"I thought you were dead," Morgana gasped, and Arthur just looked confused.

"You should hurry, Gwen has been asking for you for the past two hours. Gaius is with her, the baby is coming, and soon."

"Gwen—baby," Morgana smiled brightly. Kissing Merlin on the lips she turned and hurried up the steps past Arthur.

Merlin stood facing his best friend terrified that it was all a dream, a cruel trick. "Arthur, how are you here?"

"What are you babbling on about, Merlin?"

"Never mind," Merlin laughed his eyes shining with tears. "It's just so good to see you."

"You too, old friend," Arthur smiled putting his arm around Merlin and together they climbed the steps.

Merlin stopped before they reached the door. "Arthur…"

"What?"

"I have magic," Merlin said watching his friends face for a reaction.

Arthur looked at him oddly for a moment then laughed, "You really must have hit your head, Merlin."

"Arthur, I am telling you, I am a sorcerer."

"I know that…I have known since the battle."

"There was a battle?"

"Yes, you killed Mordred and saved my life. You don't remember?"

Merlin nearly collapsed with relief. "Arthur…"

"Come on, Merlin, "You're about to be an uncle."

Merlin threw his arms around Arthur catching the king off guard.

"What are you doing?" Arthur asked.

"It's called a hug," Merlin said flatly.

"Idiot," Arthur replied returning the embrace, "I know what it is, don't do it again."

"Yes, Sire," Merlin said.

Arthur playfully shoved Merlin through the door. "By the way, my armor needs polishing, and my chainmail needs cleaning…"

"Yes, Sire," Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Merlin?" Arthur stopped then gestured with his thumb back over his shoulder, "Did I just see Morgana kiss you?"

Merlin nodded, "Yeah."

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No, Sire," Merlin replied with an impish grin then proceeded up the steps.

"Merlin?" Arthur said following his best friend.