Beavis and Butt-Head Do London
Episode 1 – Welcome to Camden
An airplane landed in the London Airport after a seven hour flight from America. After slowing down to a stop, a man in his 40's with a stubble beard and long blonde hair, donning a purple shirt with a peace symbol, pants, and a pair of glasses was the first to step out before turning to the open door of the aircraft.
"Alright students, I welcome you to the heart of England itself otherwise known as London! I'm sure we'll all have a safe and good time here as we take in the sights and see what makes the United Kingdom so special to the world!" He announced as a group of teenagers left the airplane and were walking with the man down the corridor. Among them were two particular teens. One with brunette hair in an AC/DC shirt and red shirts and the other being blonde with a Metallica shirt and grey shorts, both of which were boys.
"Uhuhuhuhuh. Hey, Beavis. Remember when we… Uhhh. Went on an airplane? And we… uhhhhh. Meet this really cool old chick." The brunette teen recalled to the blonde referred to as Beavis who chuckled in response.
"Oh yeah. Heheheh. And then you got like wood from that chick who like, works on the plane or something." The brunette teen chuckled a little louder from that before the blonde teen continued. "So when do we like, get to score chicks with baguettes?"
"No, dumbass! That's uhhhh… Jamaica. This is like, uhhhh, the place where the Queen lives." The brunette teen explained as Beavis chuckled again.
"Oh yeah. Heheheh. The Queen is kinda cool. Hey Butt-Head. Do you think the Queen has like, some really hot princesses we can score?" Beavis asked.
"Uhuhuhuhuh. Yeah. We'd like, get to score and maybe become princes." Butt-Head laughed along with Beavis, both clearly liking the idea of getting with royalty as they and the rest of the class stopped outside the airport and got onto a bus. Said bus was already rolling along the streets as the blonde hippie gave a bit of commentary.
"Now then, class. If you look on your left, you'll soon see the River Thames and the tower bridge which we shall be crossing right now." He said as the bus made it's way across the aforementioned bridge, the man continuing as soon as the vehicle reached the other side.
"Now over there is the main icon of London, the Big Ben. The most famous clock tower in the world erected in 1859 and neighbours the Palace of Westminster." Beavis and Butt-Head both chuckled as he said this.
"Uhuhuhuhuh. Mr. Van Driessen said "erect". Uhhuhuhuhuh."
"Yeah, heheheh! Big Ben is so big because he goes "Boioioioioioioioing!" Heheheheheheh!" Beavis joked, shaking his fists for emphasis on the "Boing", making them both laugh even more. The bus soon stopped outside of a park as Mr. Van Driessen and his class stepped out take in the sight of the area.
"And this here class is Regent's Park, named after the former king of England, George IV who was once under the name 'Prince Regent', otherwise known as the Playboy Prince." Van Driessen told the class as he held a hand out to the park to showcase it.
"Cool. Heheheheh. He must've like, gotten a lot of porn." Beavis chuckled, no doubt associating the Playboy Prince with a magazine series of a similar name. Van Driessen then proceeded to direct the class into the park so they could look around inside.
That is except for Beavis and Butt-Head who just stood in place silently before looking at each other.
"Hey Beavis." Butt-Head chuckled. "Let's go see if we can score with a princess."
"Heheheh. Okay." Beavis simply agreed before the two walked away from the park. The problem was, neither of them knew where Buckingham Palace was so they just ended up walking around aimlessly until they ended up in a street.
"Damn it, Beavis it's not working!" Butt-Head complained as Beavis shared his frown.
"This sucks! We'll never get to score with a princess." Beavis exclaimed in frustration as at that moment, a light-buld flickered over Butt-Head's… well, head.
"Hey Beavis. What if we like, asked someone were we can find a princess to score?"
"Heheheh, okay." Beavis agreed as the two turned to face one of the many houses of the street they were on. Butt-Head walked up to the door and knocked. It wasn't until a few seconds later that they heard barking come from the other side of the door which suddenly opened as a Dalmatian leaped up and tackled the two, knocking them to the ground, the last thing the two remembered before being knocked out as hitting their heads on the sidewalk.
It was only a few seconds later when Butt-Head regained consciousness and rubbed where his head had been bumped. Even though he couldn't see it, he had gotten a fairly noticeable bruise on it.
"Uhhhh… Did we have a party or something?" Butt-Head asked, oblivious that he was only out cold for a mere few seconds until he noticed that Beavis hadn't responded. "Uhhhh… Beavis?" Butt-Head looked to his right and saw Beavis still on the ground, also with a bruise on his head. He was grunting and yelling in pain as the Dalmatian that had tackled them had Beavis pinned to the ground and had her teeth clenched onto Beavis' rear end, growling. The Dalmatian in question having three collars around her neck that ranged from dark blue to orange and then to a lighter blue.
"Uhuhuhuhuhuh! Your head is touching that dog's butt while it's eating your butt!" Butt-Head laughed at Beavis' current situation as the canine's rear was in fact above Beavis' head, her tail wagging.
"Shut up! Agh! Get it off me, Butt-Head! Help!" Beavis called out in aggravation.
"Uhhh. Okay." Butt-Head said, obviously not taking Beavis' plight seriously. "Get off him, asswipe!" Butt-Head yelled at the dog before kicking the dog in the leg, but because his kicks were incredibly sluggish, that didn't do anything and the dog's teeth still remained clenched on Beavis' butt.
"Dolly! What on earth are you doing to those humans?!" A male voice suddenly scolded. Butt-Head turned to see another Dalmatian at the doorway, glaring at the one on Beavis. He had a thick red collar with a silver star hanging from the front.
"Dylan, they're postmen, it's my job to bite them!" The Dalmatian on Beavis argued as the one she referred to as Dylan brought a front paw to his eyes in a facepalm.
"Okay, so explain to me why we're suddenly getting mail from two humans who aren't even carrying any mailbags." Dylan remarked in a very obvious tone. Dolly's eyes widened a little before she got off of Beavis and joined Dylan, chuckling nervously as she and Dylan faced the two teens.
"Eheheh… Sorry about that. I thought it was the postman." Dolly sheepishly explained. Beavis and Butt-Head however just stood there with astonished looks on their faces until the former was the first to finally speak up.
"Hey Butt-Head. Are we like, dreaming or something? Because I thought like, I heard those dogs talk." Butt-Head immediately responded by punching Beavis across the face, making Dylan flinch. "Agh! What the hell did you do that for, butthole?!" Beavis shouted angrily at Butt-Head.
"Uhhhh… Because we're not dreaming. That like, wouldn't have hurt." Butt-Head responded, justifying the injury he just gave to his friend. "But uhhh… I heard them too."
"Wait a second..." Dylan blinked with realisation before padding over to the two. "Ahem. HELLO, HUMANS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?" Dylan spoke out loud as clearly as possible, almost like a robot, making Dolly roll her eyes.
"Uhhhhh… Yeah. Uhuhuhuhuh." Dylan's eyes widened upon this.
"My dog! That is incredible! Not just one human that can understand dog language but TWO!" Dylan said in amazement as he looked up at the two. "It's a pleasure to meet you! My name is Dylan and the one at the doorstep is my sister, Dolly."
"What's up?" Dolly greeted with a smirk as Dylan gestured to her.
"Hey. Heheheh. Name's Beavis and, heheheh, he's Butt-Head." Beavis introduced himself and his friend.
"Pfffffft! "Butt-Head"?!" Dolly suddenly laughed out loud upon hearing the brunette teen's name, falling onto her back.
"Dolly! That is very impolite!" Dylan scolded at his sister whom Beavis laughed along with.
"Butt-Head! The butt for a head!" He chuckled.
"Shut up, buttmunch!" Butt-Head yelled angrily before smacking Beavis across the same cheek he had punched seconds ago, making Dylan flinch again whilst Dolly calmed down from her laughing fit.
"Ahaha, I already like these humans! They're a riot!" Dolly said, wiping a tear from her eye as the heads of two Dalmatian pups appeared from the open doorway.
"Did you just say "humans"?!" One of the pups who had a fur pattern on her face that resembled an eye mask said as she and the other pup ran over to the two, just stopping in front of them. "Hi there, mister humans!" The other pup who had a black stripe from her forehead to her muzzle greeted eagerly. "Hey. How's it going? Heheheh." Beavis chuckled in response.
"Dizzy, Dee Dee. Before you beg me, we're not having any more humans in the house after last time." Dylan said firmly, unaware that the two were already ushering the two teens inside. "AAH! THEY'RE IN THE HOUSE!" Dylan exclaimed in shock upon realising this before rushing inside with Dolly following behind.
Beavis and Butt-Head's eyes widened the very second they were face to face with over fifty Dalmatian puppies in the backyard, the majority of them playing with each other or just running around the yard.
"Woah! Their mom must've like, scored with so many guy dogs to have so many puppies!" Butt-Head remarked with Beavis chuckling in response.
"Yeah, heheheh. I bet she makes Octo-mom look like a bitch! Heheheheheheh." The many puppies stopped what they were doing upon hearing the teens' laughter and turned to look at the humans.
"Oh my gosh, humans!" One of the puppies squeaked excitedly as they and the many others formed a tsunami of white and black and literally dog-piled on top of the two. Only their heads could be seen sticking out from the wave of puppies.
"Woah! That was cool! Uhuhuhuhuhuh." Butt-Head said before Dizzy ran up to the two. "I'll call that one "Mr. Sillyface"!" She said, pointing at Beavis who's face recoiled in disgust at the name.
"Actually, Dizzy. His name's Beavis." Dolly corrected before facing Butt-Head. "And that..." She started before trying to hold back laughter. "...is Butt-Head." Dizzy was quick to burst into laughter, followed by many of the other puppies. Three of which however weren't laughing, they all looked similar in appearance and the only way you could tell the difference was their collars, one holding a heart, one holding a circle disk with an 'X' in the middle and the other holding a diamond.
"Ugh! That name is like!"
"So!"
"Immature!" The three said one by one respectively.
"Uhhhhhh. Can you like, shut up?" Butt-Head said in response to the three who gasped in offended annoyance until the one in the circle 'X' collar noticed something.
"Wait. Did he just respond to us? He can…?"
"Yep. He can understand what we're saying!" Dolly confirmed, earning a lot of "Oooooh"s from the puppies.
"That's incredible! There's practically a zero zero point one percent possibility of a human let alone two who can understand dogs!" A Dalmatian pup with a CH3 molecule on his collar acknowledged in amazement.
"Now now, please! Give the two some space!" Dylan rushed in and managed to pry the puppies off of the two. "Now I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding. The only reason we know these two is because Dolly thought they were postmen. To put it simply, we don't plan on keeping them." Dylan explained as straightly as possible. "Awwww…!" Was what came out of the majority of the puppies who looked up at Dylan sadly. "Aw come on, Dylan! Can't they at least stay for a while? They're fun to have around!" Dolly pleaded, hoping to change her brother's mind.
"Sorry Dolly, but I've made up my mind. Like I said, we already had some experience with a human before and it wasn't the best. Besides, what do you think mum and dad will..." Dylan responded, only to notice that the space where Beavis and Butt-Head were was now vacant. "Oh great, where are they now?" Dylan's question was quickly answered when he heard rummaging inside the yard's treehouse. He quickly rushed up to it and found the two inside already having made the interior a mess. "H-Hey, please be careful with those! Those are some of my prized possessions!" Dylan anxiously said to the two who showed no signs of paying any mind.
"Hey Butt-Head, check it out!" Beavis chuckled as Dylan was joined by Dolly and some of the puppies including Dizzy and Dee Dee. The blonde teen pulled out some magazines which made Dylan's eyes widened in terror as he rushed to the two. "Ohh nononono, wait! Not those!" He tried to reach for the magazines as Beavis opened one of them to look, dropping the rest of them onto the floor. Dizzy and Dee Dee took a good look at one of the magazines to see a female dog posed in a way that had her "area" in full view, only it was covered with a red 'X'.
"...You read some really weird comic books, Dylan." Dee Dee pointed out as Dolly once again burst into laughter whilst Dylan held his ears over his eyes, his face red with embarrassment.
"Uhuhuhuhuhuh! Dylan has dog porn!" Butt-Head chuckled with Beavis of course joining in.
"Yeah! Heheheheh! I bet when he reads these, his tail goes "Boioioioioioioioioing"!" Beavis shook his fists again for emphasis.
"Dylan's a pervert! Dylan's a pervert!" Dolly chanted teasingly as Dylan groaned with humiliation until he felt a paw on his back.
"Ah, don't worry about it, Dylan. I wouldn't be one to judge you for wanting to explore those… kinds of tastes." The pup with the molecule collar reassured, briefly shooting a glare at the two teens.
"C-Can they please just go already?" Dylan stammered, still embarrassed.
"Uhhhhhh. No." Butt-Head responded with a chuckle. "Still think it's incredible that these two understand us?" Dolly quipped at Dylan with a smirk until she realised something. "Wait. You're right. What would mom and dad think if they saw not just one, but two humans with us this time?" Dolly wondered until one of the puppies came up to her with a letter in his mouth.
"Ah, thanks Diesel..." Dylan said as he took the letter and opened it with his teeth, now starting to get over his embarrassing moment before reading it.
"Dear Dylan and Dolly, me and your father have to work overtime for a few days. Your father needs to help his team join some other fire service groups to deal with a forest fire outside of London and I have to stay at the hospital and help my co-workers help with a stomach flu several of our patients have. If you feel overwhelmed, hopefully your friends can help out. Love, mum."
"Well, that deals with the mom and dad problem." Dolly pointed out, Dizzy and Dee Dee stood next to Beavis and Butt-Head and leaned, their faces pressing against the legs.
"So we can keep them then?!" Dee Dee said excitedly.
"No. I've already said before that we won't be dealing with any more humans in the house." Dylan rejected firmly, only to be met with Dizzy and Dee Dee looking up at him with sad eyes and quivering lips, joined seconds later by the other pups. "Ohhh no, don't even think about using those eyes on me, they won't change my mind!" Dylan crossed his forelegs and looked away. He glanced briefly at the pups who were still giving him the "Please" eyes, making him quiver a little until he saw a single tear leak out of Dizzy's eye.
"Aagh, okay okay! They can stay! But only until mum and dad come back!" Dylan exclaimed, defeated. Everyone of the pups besides him cheered before piling on top of the two teens, who just chuckled.
Later, Beavis and Butt-Head were in one of the rooms, watching TV. Dizzy, Dee Dee and many of the puppies sat by them as they were all watching a TV show titled 'Poodlewolf'.
"Hey Beavis. Weren't we meant to like, uhhhh, do something here?" Butt-Head asked.
"Yeah. We were supposed to… uhh… Heheheh. I forget." Beavis responded with a chuckle.
"Beavis, you dumbass. We were going to… Uhhhhh… I think we were going to score or something. Uhuhuhuhuh."
"Score?" Dizzy looked up at Butt-Head curiously.
"Uhhhh. Yeah. You know, when you like, uhhh… You see a hot chick." Butt-Head replied before Beavis continued for him.
"Yeah, and then you like, want to go to bed with her. Heheheheh." Beavis was chuckling like a thought.
"Ooh, like a sleepover?" Dee Dee's tail wagged.
"No. Heheheh. You like, use your wood in her. Heheheheheheh." Dee Dee and Dizzy's look changed to that of confusion as they resumed watching TV.
"This show sucks! Heheheh. Hey Butt-Head, change it!" Beavis instructed, already bored with Poodlewolf.
"Uhhh. Okay." Butt-Head managed to find the remote and change the channel to a live performance of a heavy metal band, Iron Maiden to be exact.
"Hey, we were watching that!" One of the pups who was in a wheelchair protested with annoyance, the two teens however only responded by headbanging to the loud guitar riffs going on.
"Yo! These beats are actually sick!" One of the other pups, this one wearing a pair of red headphones said before headbanging with the teens, some of the others including Dolly started to join in.