17
Legal disclaimer: I tend to liberally "borrow" character profiles and art from the Earth-27 wikia created by Roy Westerman with principle art coming from digital artist Phil Cho. Other creators and artists are found there as well and I will specifically list any creations with creator citations as I utilize them. In short, this is the single most comprehensive retelling of all things DC and beyond I have encountered. It's worth your time to explore.
Cover art provided by Martina Havlikova.
Free, commercial use art by her can be found at the following URL: martinahavlikova84 | Pixabay
She is also available for private commissions. Her art can previously be seen as covers of Renfri for Evil Queen, Goldilocks forInjustice Reigns, Hellequin for Marian Drews, Renfri again for Evil Delights, Kalea-El for Family Tragedies, Dorothy Gale in Something Wicked, Plastic Womanand now Claire Connelly with more yet to come.
That having been said, the properties, and their variations belong to DC Comics through Warner Entertainment and its parent, AT&T, with notable exceptions. More on that in the footnote. I do not own DC characters or their interpretations and reimaginings. My own characters are implied Public Domain since I have not included a copyright notice as required by the 1974 revisions of the copyright statutes and regulations. While an intellectual copyright is implied without the due symbols and language, all such considerations are generally voided under CC-BY-SA, which governs this site, unless duly noted otherwise.
Open Source attributions are listed after the story concluded to satisfy legalese requirements. And all "super" characters other than Open Source have been seen in comic books before barring any original characters coming from the Earth-27 Wiki or myself. You can look into Public Domain Superheroes Wiki and the DC Database Wiki's own vaults to verify this.
Although this is primarily set in the DCAU, I incorporate attributes of dozens of interpretations of each character, comic telling era, and medium into the telling.
At LuthorCorp – Metropolis in Lena Luthor's office, an important meeting was underway.
"I'm surprised my interview is occurring with the CEO," Dr. Claire Connelly admitted.
"Nonsense, you were an invaluable LexCorp and Mercy Corp employee before your...disappearance," Lena Luthor replied.
"Yes, I had to...go out of town. I did serve notice," Claire was at a loss of how to explain her experiences. She'd completed her M2F transition surgical work, married, and then gone on adventures through time with Rip Hunter and the Time Masters. Of course her husband, Michael Jon Carter, was better known to the world as Booster Gold. Booster's twin sister, Michelle Carter had come with as well. Having taken the name Goldstar as an alias.
They'd literally shored up life on the planet while the Crisis of the Multiverse had brewed. She was one of the select few that wasn't insane and still remembered the Multiverse's existence and history before its destruction. All of the prep work had involved having history recorded for after the Zero Hour's erasing history. The Time Witch named Glorith and Dr. Manhattan needed references to rebuild history after the Heckler ignited the spark of Creation and a New Universe was born.
A New Universe that had never been nor ever would be part of a Multiverse. Rebirth had recreated history as tailored by Glorith and Dr. Manhattan's machinations. Their task completed, Booster and Claire could have returned anywhere in the history of the New Earth. They chose the 21st Century 2010 and discovered they'd returned seven months "after" they'd left the time line. Well after the so-called "Near Apocalypse of 2009" as it was known after Rebirth.
Fortunately, Rip had arranged for Claire and Booster's apartment to be maintained by the Time Masters. Now that they were defunct and replaced by the administrative Time Bureau, those funds were being halted and with Booster not being accepted back into the Justice League Unlimited...temporarily, he said...Claire needed her LexCorp job back.
Except now it was LuthorCorp and run by Lex's sister, Lena. Claire had been Luthor's nanotech pioneer. Every major nano innovation at LexCorp and then Mercy Corp had been a result of Claire's brilliance. And hastened by her friendly rivalry with Dr. Tessa Richardson at STAR Labs. But Tessa turned out to be Eve Aries, a temporal convict sentenced for crimes committed as Saturn Queen in the 31st Century, and her technical brilliance stemmed from childhood education in the future.
Booster was having difficulties because no one wanted to hire someone who was a potentially dangerous liability if some super villain wanted to make a point by skewering him. So Claire had to find work. Michelle had gone to Ted Kord only find he'd lost Kord Industries to Derek Powers in a hostile takeover bid. Repeating his stunning successes at taking over Cale Tech, Wayne Enterprises, and Palmer Tech. Leaving Queen Consolidated, STAR Labs, and Smoak Tech in his cross hairs and a lust to acquire LuthorCorp and Starrware. Max Lord's Innovative Concepts seemed off the menu for now.
But Derek Powers was known for his voracious appetites, in and out of the boardroom. Not yet thirty and rumor had it that he'd sired a dozen bastards he wouldn't acknowledge and had used legal coercion to silence any protests or displays of seeking child support. As well as extra-legal means of intimidation to bankrupt and dispossess the women and their children, whether his or not.
Powers wasn't known for his charity or mercy or even an infrequent display of compassion. So Ted was lucky to have received any monies whatsoever. But he had no future income to speak of.
Michelle was also, like her brother, from the 25th Century so she had a completely different skill set than present day workers and had lost so many jobs she was now unhireable. So the quartet made a sorry specimen put together as a co-dependent organism. Claire was the short term solution and her absence and sudden vanishing alongside being married to a part-time superhero made her as much a pariah as he was in the job market.
"However, you have certain patents for nanotech that you filed from independent research separate from the companies you worked for. Essentially this company. I want them," Lena stated.
"I'm sure we can reach a licensing arrangement," Claire happily offered.
Lena scowled, "You don't seem to understand. If you wan a job, you will sign all of your patents over to me personally. Afterwards, you'll begin as an entry-level researcher after a year's unpaid internship."
"You want me to bribe you into giving me an unpaid internship?" Claire seethed.
"Essentially," Lena confirmed it, "And I've made certain it will be the very best offer you'll receive."
That finally explained her dimming job prospects.
"Go to hell," Claire stood. Zither Security agents suddenly appeared to detain Claire while the Metropolis Police were summoned to arrest Claire on assault charges and allegations of corporate espionage, legally binding up her rights to her own patents and seizing any and all income flow. Despite Lena's efforts, Claire was arraigned twenty hours later and released on a ridiculously small fifty dollar bail bond. Claire was still livid when she went home and found Ted and Michelle awaiting her and Booster's return.
"I have an idea!" Ted excitedly told them. Claire's phone, whose service she could no longer after posting bail, rang. It was her mother.
"Christopher, we need to talk," she began the conversation.
"No, we don't," Claire grated, "I haven't been called Christopher Connelly since third grade. A fact you conveniently forget. It isn't even my legal name. Either use my real name or this conversation just ended before it began."
"Claire, are you happy now?" her mother still provoked her.
"It's a start," Claire diplomatically allowed.
"Your Aunt Sharon, a real woman, needs surgery. There is absolutely no one to take of her dog. You've been selected by the family to do so," her mother droned.
"Now is not the best of times," Claire advised her.
"What? You can spend over a million dollars to look like a woman but you can't afford kibble?" her mother sneered.
The very passable Claire had invested her money in herself with her feminization surgeries and thanks to gene therapy in the future she no longer had to take replacement feminine hormones. Her adjusted glands naturally produced every hormone she required to be female. Which spared her a mouth full of pills every morning.
"What's the dog's name again?" Claire couldn't recall. She didn't have much to do with her biological family for obvious reasons.
"His name is Fido," came the answer.
"You're kidding," Claire coughed.
"Why would I joke about that?" came the acerbic retort.
"Didn't Sharon abuse Fido?" Claire asked.
"That's neither here nor there. You're the only besides Sharon in the extended family that isn't allergic to dogs. So you're taking him," her mother repeated her insistence even more belligerently.
"Admit Sharon abused Fido and I will," Claire counter offered.
"Fine. She's busted," her mother sighed.
"If I do this, it's permanent. I'm not sending Fido back to an abuser," Claire decided.
"She'll be thrilled," her mother was elated, "I'll drop him off within the hour."
And she hung up before Claire could possibly protest. Not that she would've. Fido needed help now that she remembered him. Though the timing sucked.
"We just adopted a dog," Claire announced as she returned from the master bedroom.
"We can hardly feed ourselves," Booster fretted.
"He's dachshund. How much can he eat?" Claire posed the challenge for anyone to pick up the verbal gauntlet.
"This is why I have an idea," Ted broke the silence, "The perfect job for all of us."
"For three financially destitute, part-time superheroes and an unemployable nanotech engineer?" Claire was skeptical and didn't care who knew it.
She couldn't have children but she'd just volunteered to become a mother of sorts.
"Let's hear it," Booster requested.
"We form a repo company," Ted explained, "High end stuff. Situations normal repo men can't go into `cause they'll get killed."
"That actually makes a helluva lotta sense," Michelle decided instantly.
"How can we afford a startup?" Claire was still cautious.
"I have the money. I'll be the senior partner and handle the books and contracts. Dozens of high end tech companies are robbed blind every day by terrorists, thieves, or super villains. We go in and steal the tech back without bothering with arrests. We'll be techno-ninjas," Ted enthused.
Claire saw that sparkle that told her Booster was sold. Every eye turned to her.
"Okay, I'm in," Claire relented.
Business would soon begin as usual but not quite yet. Fido arrived. Claire's mother walked the inquisitive hairy dachshund in and he froze at first.
Her mother saw Michelle and sneered, "Is it one of you?"
"She's a gen fem," Claire glared.
"A what?" her mother was aghast.
"A genetic female. In other words, her body was born female," Claire said tersely.
"Oh," Michelle seemed to earn her mother's forgiveness for living at that point.
Claire squatted and held a hand, never moving other than to simply say, "Hello, Fido."
Fido cautiously sniffed her hand and then after a moment's hesitation, began to lick it. Claire affectionately began to rub his head and Fido waddled forward to her body. Rearing up on his stubby hind legs, he pressed against her to lick her face. Claire laughed with delight and Fido slumped and rolled onto his back while Claire rubbed and scratched it. His tail wagged so hard she was afraid he'd break his back
"Hey there, fella," Booster knelt beside Claire and let Fido smell his hand before attempting to rub the dog's head. Fido was almost in heaven from all of the loving attention.
"Hrmph!" Claire's mother snorted, "You seem to have this under control."
She made to exit and Claire called after her, "Did you bring any food?"
"Excuse me?" Claire's mother was cross again.
"Food. For the dog. I understand they can be particular," Claire explained.
"He's a dog," she snorted, "He eats food."
Claire managed a wan smile, "Have a good evening."
"As if you mean it," her mother scowled and slammed the door behind her
which sent Fido scrambling into Claire's arms.
"Always a delight but I think he likes you," Booster said drolly.
"I do too," Claire said proudly.
"He's sleeping with us, isn't he?" Booster was rueful that development
"At least for tonight. He needs love to acclimate," Claire decided.
"Uh-huh," Booster was dubious.
She chucked his shoulder, "It'll be good for you too."
"Uh-huh," Booster was extremely skeptical now.
"Hiya, Fido," Ted got in on the action as Fido's nerves settled from Claire's mother's exit. Michelle made the circle of love complete. Fido had found his forever home.
It was finally business as usual. Ted fronted the money for the new business. This required the licensing of the newly founded agency and its agents. Claire wondered how her triple and five MS degrees would fit in. But Ted had two and three MS degrees as well and all of his paraphernalia from his time spent as the Blue Beetle. So the Super Buddies Repossession Agency was officially born. And due to oddities of the US tax codes, was officially and legally a person.
Ted's first client was STAR Labs. It had developed a whisper tank for the military and it had been stolen by Red Alice and the Wonderland Army. Claire had discovered Fido didn't like going out except to relieve himself. Which made making errands easier. Fortunately she'd found him easy to feed. Two small bags of dog food were surplus after he'd rejected them but the third had been a rousing success. He'd actually eaten until his stomach swelled on the first meal. But he'd moderated since then.
Fortunately he didn't eat until he puked like some dogs tended to do and he was very blatant about when he needed to go out. Claire was also surprised by the care he showed to his now growing toy selection. He had his favorites to be sure but he didn't abuse them. Fido seemed to want them to last so he could lavish attention upon them for times to come.
And Booster quickly adapted to Fido's being on the bed at night. The two had even bonded. Fido and Booster didn't share the same degree of affection despite Fido preferring Booster's company but they mutually worked out a system of sharing his attention. She found the initial rivalry between her and Booster amusing and a little annoying. But it worked itself out to genial conclusion. It was up to Claire to ask Ted the obvious question in the room when he announced the finding of their first client.
"How we supposed to find Red Alice?" she wondered aloud what everyone else was thinking,
Except for Ted that was, "I put Overwatch on it."
"Excuse me?" Michelle was lost.
"There are four hacktivists that absolutely must be contacted in a situation like this. They are each, in turn, specialists in different arenas. Overwatch, the Commish, Cypher, and Oracle each take the law into the own hands but they do it for a common good. The Commish specializes in police matters particularly with the GCPD. Cypher is a bit flighty. Oracle is hands down the best at it but she's the hardest to get time with. She's almost exclusively involved with the Outlaws and they're highly wanted by the police and federal authorities. Overwatch has pretty set hours but is the most reachable of them all."
"I have another question: why a strip mall?" Booster seemed insulted.
"Our offices have to approachable. This location, though small, is affordable since its a Class-C retail listing and our clients will come to us once word of mouth gets out," Ted explained his rationale.
"So we steal a stolen tank," Michelle laid it out in simple terminology, "Then what?"
"We return it to this address and get paid," Ted handed around a tablet computer, "You'll notice what our pre-contracted fee is and your commissions."
"Let's steal a tank!" Booster enthused.
"Throttle back, Jet Stream," Michelle cautioned him using a childhood nickname, "This isn't like boosting an average car. These guys will have guns."
"Not to mention the aforementioned anonymity," Claire groused. Fido left his bed and waddled over to discover what the fuss was about and why he was excluded. The space maintained four separate office cubicles, a reception desk, a restroom, and a four seat waiting area. Fido shared space in Claire's office and had another bed in Booster's since he frequently snuck away to be with him. To no one's chagrin. Fido sat expectantly until Claire picked him up.
Fido suddenly barked, which was odd. He rarely did so. They all stepped out from Ted's cubicle to see if they had a potential customer. But it seemed they just had an annoying loiterer.
"Guy, what are you doing here?" Booster asked.
Guy Gardner, now replete with a handlebar mustache to go with the bowl cut hairstyle smirked, "Just checkin' ya yahoos out. Super Buddies, huh?"
"Go away," Claire groaned.
"Can't," Guy's smirk was even more insufferable now, "I'm yer new neighbor. My partner and I are openin' a bar next door."
"Three problems with that: why aren't you in outer space? Why are you our new neighbor? And who the hell would be your partner?" Ted wondered.
"First, I got kicked outta the Green Lantern Corps again. Thanks fer bringin' that up. I'm next door fer probably the same reason ya losers are here: the rent's cheap. An' who says I can't git no partner?"
"Obviously your partner isn't a woman," Claire voiced the mutual opinion.
"Har har, Ms. I-ain't-gotta-dick-no-more. Yer a laugh riot. I gotta guy business partner. Least I ain't gotta get a dog ta git some," Guy sneered
Ted held Booster back while Michelle kept Claire from killing him with her bare hands.
"Har har. Let the weenies go. Oh, that's right. They ain't got none. Har, har, har!" Guy thought he was uproariously funny. Ted was dragging Booster back now. Michelle bodily blocked Claire's egress.
"Don't git yer titties inna bucnh. I'm goin' anyway," Guy headed out.
"I. Will. Drop. Kick. His. Ass!" Claire grated through clenched teeth.
"Not if I get there first," her husband snarled. Ted and Michelle exchanged longsuffering looks.
It took Overwatch three nights to find the Wonderland Army. No one knew that she was really Felicity Smoak, the tech guru who owned and headed her own corporate empire. Rising out of humble beginnings as an IT manager at Queen Consolidated and was now splitting her time between managerial responsibilities, her hactivism, and dating the younger Oliver Queen. Who had no claims on Queen Consolidated despite sharing a name with its deceased former owner. That Oliver Queen's youngest daughter, Emiko, now owned the company. But, a previously unknown older half-sister had emerged to challenge Emiko's claim of inheritance.
Thea Queen, like Emiko's mother, belonged to the League of Assassins as Sin. Dinah Lance and Nyssa Raatko sharing responsibilities for the teen as her mothers and Thea happily embraced the couple in that role. Enjoying the prestige it gave her since Dinah served as the League's Demon's Head and her wife, Nyssa, was her Demon's Hand and chief co-conspirator. One of their chief agents and fellow Shadow Seven of the League of Shadows that ultimately controlled the Assassins was Irma Playatski also better known as Dazaar the Arch Fiend. Dinah, as the Ra's al Ghul, controlled everything including Thea's attempts to undermine Emiko.
Emiko herself secretly being the Red Arrow within the Outlaws. Themselves vigilantes for hire to terminate criminals for their better paying rivals and, in turn, going against their former employers if the price was right. The former superheroes having discovered an ideal role as supposed mercenaries to ultimately end criminal threats. Specializing in the costumed and large operation varieties of criminals. But since these were secrets, when Overwatch's report came in, the Super Buddies team were just relieved and thrilled that Guy hadn't made his usual rounds just before the bar opened. His secretive partner turning out to be the failed superhero turned villain turned businessman, V-Man. Jerry Steele had served three years of a seven year sentence and was out on an early release parole and had enough legitimate funds to assist Guy in opening his bar.
Which still irritated Ted and Booster. V-Man had been one of their busts while Ted was still the Blue Beetle. Shortly before Beetle's death and Ted's eventual resurrection. An eventuality Overwatch's information would help avoid happening again.
After hours of studying the data separately and together, they began to hatch a plan. Claire and Booster taking breaks to walk and play with Fido. He sensed the tension in the room and seemed extra playful in an effort to relieve some of it.
"The Bug is too big to get us over their camp `cause they'll easily spot it," Ted complained. The Bug being Ted's technical masterpiece. A flying vehicle shaped like a giant beetle.
"`Chelle and I still have our Legion flight rings," Booster reminded him. Flight rings from the 31st Century that they'd stolen from a 25th Century museum. Nonsensical facts at the best of times.
"Red Alice seems to be basing out of this warehouse district in Brooklyn," Claire pointed on a digital map and fingered it to expand it, "Pretty ballsy considering their just a few miles from the Hall of Justice."
The Hall being the Justice League's headquarters.
"According to Dark Web chatter Overwatch sampled, the Wonderland Army is planning an attack on the counterterrorist division headed up by Col. Jacob Kane. Interesting because Col. Kane hasn't even finished equipping his new unit."
"Seems personal," Booster commented. No one, not even Kane, realized yet that Red Alice was in fact Beth Kane. Presumed dead 20 years ago at the hands of the Red Claws in an explosion after they had captured 13-year old Beth, her fraternal twin sister Kate, and their mother.
Kate alone was considered to be the survivor of the midair disaster. Then-Maj. Kane being a military operative tasked with eliminating the Red Claws. Kate alone believing if she'd managed to survive then implausibly Beth may have too Kate was alone in recognizing Red Alice as Beth. A fact Jacob wouldn't accept as truth. But none of that would be known for some time yet and certainly not by the Super Buddies team.
The plan began with Booster changing into his super suit and Michelle doing the same to become Goldstar once again. The humming above their top story apartment announced the arrival fo the Bug. Inside it, Ted was once again dressed as the second Blue Beetle. A title he'd inherited from the aged Dan Garret. Claire had purchased black paramilitary coveralls like those used by the NYPD and other police forces and various national militaries and paramilitary outfits.
They flew from the Upper East Side, over the East River, over the Bronx and Queens to arrive at the warehousing area in Brooklyn occupied by the Wonderland Army. Setting the Bug down outside fo the area, they walked the last six blocks to the fenced off arena. The Wonderlanders had inevitably set up security patrols.
Booster and Goldstar lifted Claire and Blue Beetle over the barbed wire topped fencing. At 6'2", Claire was the tallest of them. Two inches taller than her own former star future IW-NFL quarterback-legend husband. The international league itself eventually derived from the American NFL. Which had first expanded from the US into the UK. Michael Jon Carter had become Booster Gold and had come back from the future to seek fortune and fame. He found something better. He'd found his courage and to sweeten the deal, he'd found Claire.
The future being omnisexual, Booster hadn't had the expected issue with Claire's transsexuality and so with his encouragement and love, she'd undergone SRS and they'd married. Two things she'd previously been uncertain that she'd ever accomplish. The present world being what it was, transphobia being one of the world's dominant hatreds.
She'd skipped across time and defeated perils she'd never previously imagined. All while fighting beside her intrepid husband and courageous sister-in-law. And now they were about to repossess a stolen weapon from a terrorist cell and all she could think about was her dog. How giddy the world had become.
She rather felt that way from nerves alone anyway and it figured Fido was probably wondering when Booster would come home. She'd never expected to have a dog but she could hardly imagine life without Fido and quietly dreaded the day he wouldn't be there any more. Her aunt had, rather not unexpectedly, "deeded" Fido to her. Finally relieved to be rid of him. Which was horrible because he was so sweet and obedient. Just wanting to love and be loved. But the day when Fido would be gone would arrive all too swiftly in Claire's opinion.
Not that her present endeavor didn't jeopardize her own life. Fido could end up an orphan tonight and never understand why. Now that was cruel. But Beetle had been right. This was the simplest way for the quartet to make high stakes money using existing skills and reputations.
All the activity seemed hubbed around two massive warehouse complexes. Quietly drawing on mutual experience, the foursome infiltrated the closest warehouse and found it filled with Wonderlanders. Seated on a red throne was Red Alice. Each member had flagons and steins of beer and the alcohol was flowing. Red Alice stood and began singing and soon the entire complex was filled with raised voices in one accord.
"Kvetou růže, kdo ti za to může,
žádný už ti dneska nepomůže,
kvetou, zvadnou, lístečky z nich spadnou,
jako slzy moje na tu trávu chladnou.
Teče, voda, dokola se točí,
to si nelitoval modré oči,
já bych byla pro tebe jen žila,
že mou lásku zklameš, to jsem nemyslela.
Škoda lásky, kterou jsem tobě dala,
ty mé oči, dnes bych si vyplakala,
Moje mládí, uprchlo tak jako sen,
na všechno mi zbyla jenom,
v srdci mém vzpomínka jen."
"Pro vaše zdraví!" Red Alice cried from her throne. Eeryone downed their draught of beer and refills were immediately supplied. Wonderlanders taking turns at refilling their neighbors steins.
"What the hell was that?" Booster wondered.
"Škoda lásky," Blue Beetle answered. Everyone stared at him blankly.
"Beer Barrel Polka," he tried again, "In the original Czech."
"Tommorw night, we strike a blow against the lunacy of sanity!" Red Alice declared to rousing cheers, "We take down Col. Kane's fascists with a weapon of his own making!"
"Kane's newly forged DOD department ordered the development of the whisper tank," Beetle translated, "The Wonderland Army is one of his primary targets."
"Like I said, personal," Booster Gold stated. Now every eye was on him.
"Red Claw kidnapped Kane's family. One daughter survived. The Red Claws became the Wonderland Army," Booster explained.
"Ms. Freeley's history class," Goldstar recalled.
"Exactly," Booster proved he wasn't as vapid as he typically portrayed himself. But these people, his closest friend and family knew him better than that so they weren't taken by surprise.
"Red Alice is actually Kane's other daughter, raised by Red Claw herself to hate him in particular," Goldstar elaborated, "Good going, bro."
"I try," Booster was actually uncharacteristically modest, "We are knee deep in a blood feud."
"So we grab the tank and get the hell out of here," Claire strongly suggested.
"Claire, you'll drive the tank. Goldstar and I will cover you. Beetle, you'll provide air support from the Bug," Booster suddenly decided.
"That's actually a good plan," Blue Beetle mused.
"Me?" Claire squeaked her protest.
"You designed miracle `bots for a living. How hard can it be to drive an advanced weapons platform tank?" Booster asked his wife.
"Well, since you put it like that," Claire sassed him.
"You can do it," Goldstar promised.
"We'd better get going before someone discovers us," Blue Beetle quietly insisted.
"Too late," a Wonderlander wearing a rabbit mask and brandishing an assault rifle informed them. Other Wonderlander guards were on fast foot approach as well.
"Well, you got us," Booster gave his most disarming smile before employing the proton blasters in his gloves to level the sentry. Goldstar opened fire with her own blasters. Blue Beetle used his strobe gun to blind guards and elbow strikes to put them down. Claire used a back thrust with her elbow to knock a Wonderlander off of her feet.
"Get close!" Booster ordered and activated his force field projector. A six foot radius around him was shielded. But the one-way nature of the shield allowed them to blast outwards.
"Go for the other other warehouse," Beetle called out. They moved as a slow unit as more Wonderlanders left the party to engage the retreating quartet. Bodies were strewn about the entrance to the other warehouse. With some killed by arrows of all things.
"The hell?" Claire muttered. The roll top loading dock door was knocked down as the whisper tank barreled through.
"Don't say it," Goldstar groaned
"Call in the Bug," Claire told Blue Beetle. He retrieved a remote piloting device from his belt's utility pouches.
"My field is nearing overload," Booster warned under the barrage of automatic assault rifle discharges. The Bug sailed in and its twenty millimeter Vulcan cannon opened up to scare away the Wonderlanders. Beetle ceased fire and the bottom hatch slid open.
Booster scooped up Claire in a bridal carry, "Remember the good ol' days?"
"We should plan a second honeymoon," she agreed.
"Hop on my back. It's time for a camel ride," Goldstar told Beetle. The siblings exerted their willpower and their flight rings flew everyone through the open hatch as bullets ricocheted off of the hull and explosive charge nearly knocked the Bug out of the air.
"RPG!" Booster warned.
"They're setting up more of them," Goldstar realizing looking out of the cockpit view ports.
Blue Beetle rammed the accelerator down and the Bug shot forward, "We need to find that tank! Claire, you're copilot."
This time she didn't protest.
The villains-for-hire known as the Superior Five had adequately recuperated from Hellequin's thrashing them before the Crisis culminated to be in the field again.
"Hindenburg, cover is from on high," Jongleur, the team's unofficial leader, requested. The large man literally inflated like a balloon and was carried by effort and the prevailing winds over the traveling whisper tank. Jongleur was driving, "Everyone else up top. Those hero types will be pursuing."
Lagomorph, Tremor, and Splitshot went out the upper turret hatch. Tremor, despite his uncontrollable vibrating, manned the .50 caliber machine gun found there. Splitshot hefted his bow and reverse shouldered it.
Lagomorph searched the skies, "Look! There!"
"As expected," Splitshot reversed his grip on his bow and drew two arrows from one of his quivers and nocked them against the bowstring.
Aboard the Bug, everyone stared out ahead.
"Is that a...man?" Claire was incredulous.
"That or a very suspicious blimp," Blue Beetle acknowledged her concern. They'd been running a search grid since leaving the warehouses. So they knew that Red Alice and her Wonderland Army was also in pursuit in jeeps, humvees, and trucks. Tremor opened fire in a wild pattern.
Lagomorph went down through a forward hatch back into the tank, "Trouble!"
"I heard," Jongleur couldn't ignore the heavy repeating of the Fifty.
"Tremor's lighting up the sky with his shaking," Lagomorph complained.
"Hindenburg will get clear," Jongleur promised. The only female of the group was dubious.
"Cease fire, you idiot!" Splitshot demanded, "We need them closer, not further.
Tremor unhappily complied, "W...w..wh...what...ev...ev..ever."
As the Bug loomed overhead, Splitshot drew his bowstring back, took careful aim, and fired his arrows. One struck in each view port, cracking them right in front of each pilot's face. Blue Beetle and Claire both involuntarily flinched.
"Shit!" Blue Beetle veered the Bug off.
"Those are...arrows?" Claire was still in a state of disbelief.
"We got it," Booster signaled his sister and he and Goldstar went out the lower hatch.
"Now fire away," Splitshot drew out two more arrows. Tremor happily complied, filling the skies with armor piercing bullets. Tremor had uncontrollable shakes. Hindenburg could bloat himself like a balloon. Lagomorph could sprint as fast as any hare. Jongleur was a skilled fighter and the clown was an excellent tactician. Splitshot himself was helplessly inaccurate with a single arrow from his bow but give him two and he could slice a pair of airborne flies in half. Goldstar stayed close to Booster Gold so his shield could take the impacts
"Waitasec!" she cried out over the gunfire, "Where'd the big guy go?"
Hindenburg rode atop of the Bug and released the upper hatch to drop in into the Bug itself. Alarm klaxons sounded his arrival
"Take the yoke," Blue Beetle instructed Claire and immediately regretted it as they went into a wild dive and he and Hindenburg were pinned to the hull.
"Pass up a fresh ammo box!" Splitshot called to Lagomorph.
"I am not your domestic," she growled as she hefted one up to him. The tank had had been stolen before its trials. So it hadn't had any ammo loaded aboard. The Wonderlanders had happily provided that. Rather thna utilize standard 105mm tank rounds, they'd put in artillery shells of the same diameter. The ammonia propelled tank rounds didn't rely on gunpowder unlike the artillery shells. It was a potentially lethal miscalculation.
Aboard the Bug, Claire was desperately working the controls while fighting the prevailing G forces as they began an uncontrolled spin. Claire, having successfully piloted the time ship, Waverider, took a moment to recognize some the controls. Although futuristic by modern standards, the Bug was primitive compared to a craft that could travel through time. So she managed to trim the Bug out before it slammed into the East River below them.
"Jesus," Hindenburg groaned. Then he received a right cross from Blue Beetle, "Don't insult the lady's driving."
"You're crazy," Hindenburg decided. The gigantic man engaged Blue Beetle but Beetle was only of average height, very fast, lithe, and had a gymnastic fighting style. Hindenburg found himself being knocked all around.
"Beetle! The Wonderland Army is almost on top of the thieves!" Claire warned him.
"Dammit!" Hindenburg popped the main, side hatch and jumped out, inflating as he did so.
"I guess there is some loyalty amongst thieves after all," Blue Beetle said wryly as he retook the pilot's seat. He checked the ammo levels.
"We still have twenty thousand rounds," he assessed, "That should slow them down"
He aimed the Bug straight at the oncoming paramilitary convoy. He fired and punched a furrow into the streets ahead. He disengaged before actually hitting a vehicle.
"You had me worried for a half-second," Claire confessed. The convoy scattered down side streets while a few Humvees barreled through the shredded pavement.
"They're going to be pains in the ass," Blue Beetle predicted.
"You still have those steel cable nets and flares loaded?" Claire asked.
"Good idea," Beetle grinned, instantly knowing where Claire was going with the question.
Splitshot fired dual arrows, one at Booster and the second at Goldstar while Tremor fired away with the Fifty.
"These guys are sooo annoying," Goldstar complained.
"On three, split up and came at them from their sides," Booster instructed.
"Three...two...one!" Booster called and the twins split in midair.
"Shit!" Splitshot cursed, "Take the guy. The woman is mine."
Tremor tried traversing the Fifty fast enough to keep up with Booster. proton blasts rained down upon him.
"G..g...gah!" Tremor stammered in fright. The blasts soured Splitshot's release and the twin arrows went wide of their mark. Goldstar's own proton volley knocked Splitshot off of the silently traveling hovertank. Instead of fans, like a hovercraft, the tank used magnetic suspension and repulsion to travel.
Wonderlander vehicles pulled in from side streets and collided with the tank. Their lighter armor crumpled from the high speed impacts.
"Dammit! The Wonderlanders have caught up," Booster transmitted over comms.
Nearby, down a parallel street, the Bug engaged in road destruction again but Red Alice's troops were emboldened by the fact, no lives were being lost because the repo team refused to take them. More jeeps pulled behind the tank. Tremor reemerged to spray bullets at them until the ammo box ran dry. The Wonderlanders had just been inflicted their second round of casualties. The first being when the Superior Five stole the tank to begin with.
What kind of thives stole from thieves? the Wonderlanders pondered. The imprudent kind it seemed. Lagomorph bailed out of the tank and began running ahead of it to scout for Jongleur before he recalled her.
"I have an ID on our thieving tank drivers," Claire radioed, "They're called the Superior Five."
Booster, Beetle, and Goldstar's status as inactive Justice League members gave them access to the Hall of Justice's Rogues Gallery criminal database. Claire had surfed out their identities.
"The missing tank driver is a clown-themed character called Jongleur," she reported via the comms.
"Why the tank? Why now?" Goldstar inquired back
They're for hire. The Legion of Doom and Secret Society of Super Villains have both hired them on occasion. But they're strictly freelance," Claire continued reporting
So their client could be anyone," Blue Beetle jumped in.
"Anyonme else notice that we're cruising through Boroughs to get to the Jersey Turnpike?" Goldstar wondered.
"And straight on to Gotham," Booster surmised.
"Powers," Beetle grated, "Their client has to be Derek Powers. He recently bought Caldwell Arms. His company is losing the tank contract unless he can develop a better prototype for the trials in just a few days."
"And he's the cretin that bought Kord Industries shares out from underneath Ted," Claire reminded everyone to motivate them. The Super Buddies reengaged the Superior Five while the Wonderlanders once again began close in.
"We need a distraction," Jongleur grumbled while Hindenburg struck at the Bug again and Tremor had reloaded the Fifty again to lash out at Booster and Goldstar once more.
"Will this do?" Lagomorph hefted an artillery shell.
"Couldn't hurt," Jongleur laughed, "`Sides. It'd be hilarious!"
Lagomorph shoved the shell into the main cannon and closed the breach. She began to swivel the main turret.
"Omigod!" Booster exclaimed.
"Shit!" Goldstar said from three hundred yards in the opposite direction.
"Wh...what...th...the?" Tremor wondered. An explosive fireball erupted as every hatch was blown open and Tremor hurled from the commander's perch. Goldstar alighted near Tremor and used her proton blasters to knock him even more senseless. Booster landed on the tank after it ran up atop a car, crumpling it like a discarded can. Lagomorph managed to pull herself out of the tank and drop onto the ground. Jongleur was the next to emerge. Both were singed and their clothes smoking.
Smoke roiled out of the exposed interior. The suddenly inferior Superior twosome were coughing up a storm. Booster inspected the interior. The breech on the main cannon was blown clean off its hinges. The smoking ruin of a shell lay still on the floor. Booster felt himself pulled roughly off of the tank by Jongleur. He simply went airborne to evade Jongleur's savate kick. The clown connected with the armored hide of the tank instead. He went down with a cry, clutching his wounded shin.
Lagomorph managed a sprint. But a static filled blur passed her and Trajectory turned around and delivered a super speed punch that knocked Lagomorph out. The Flash delivered a bound up Splitshot with a similarly charged blur. Superman drug Hindenburg out of the sky. He deflated as he descended. Fire and Ice relieved Goldstar of her prisoner.
"STAR Labs informed us of your repossessing the tank," Superman grinned.
"On that note, let me get my wife," Booster flew off. The Justice League had intercepted most of the Wonderland Army and captured them since they were already netted in steel cables. Red Alice had affected one of her "miraculous" escapes again. Booster set Claire down from the Bug. She studied the smoke with skepticism.
"We'll relieve you of any all ammunition," Superman explained.
Afterwards, Claire drove while Booster and Goldstar rode with her and Blue Beetle guided the way to the neighboring city of Metropolis to deliver the tank. Claire and Booster got home to find the puddle and the turd Fido had left on the kitchen floor where he was penned in.
"Mommy's home," Claire elated. Fido sat at Booster's feet and wagged his tail.
"Good boy," Booster ruffled his head and kept going. Fido gave Claire pitiful look, Why me?
"I still love you," Claire promised and stroked him while she cleaned up. Ted and Michelle dropped by later to deliver the couple's share of the proceeds. After Ted's initial investment was paid for, the primary operating costs for the next month allocated for, and equal shares distributed, they'd each made more on a single contract than a monthly salary at LuthorCorp would've paid and Ted's voicemail was already filling up with new requests.
Harrison Wells, Director of STAR Labs, making good his word to give glowing references once the tank was recovered in record time. The Superior Five's role accounted for and the repairs necessary to present the tank at the prototype trials exceedingly minor in nature. Wells was happy to glowingly recommend the firm to his friends and associates. Even the competition had caught wind. So the Super Buddies' launch was a rousing success.
And Fido had proven he was one with the family with his casual acceptance of their absence. So it seemed they were all in business now.
Historical Note: Claire Connelly was first seen in the Justice League: DCAU Series Parts 11, 13, 16, and 20 as well as the DCAU series Anthology story Claire Connelly.