"How did you know about it?" She knew he was talking about the PTSD. How did she know that? Should she tell him about it? The many nights she had cried out in horror and sweaty because of the nightmares. Did he deserve to know about the hell she had been put through? He had left her before that and he seemed that he didn't care about her then.
"Look" He could hear that her voice was wrecking a little "I know all about it because I went through it some time ago" Her voice went into a whisper as she made that affirmation. It still hurts every time she says it, because that's a ghost that's never going away.
He looked at her feeling a little sorry. What had happened to her? He couldn't imagine her getting hurt and the fact he couldn't help her then. He felt sorry for leaving her, for giving up in their relationship —whatever kind of relationship they had— and leaving her without saying goodbye.
"What happened?" He hesitated to ask, afraid of the answer he would get.
She sobbed a little before answering him, she could see that Lewis was on her, despite the fact she knew he was dead.
She dared to look at him for the first time since they started talking, and all she could see in him was a mix of sadness and emptiness. A thing that wasn't unknown for her.
"Liv?" He knew she was struggling to get the words out. It had always been the same with her, sharing her feelings never had come easily for her. Maybe it still was a sore to talk about, even after all this time.
She sighed softly before she starts talking "There was a guy, he had exposed to two tourists in central park" Then, she remembered when Amanda had brought him to the precinct. It was their day off, but despite it Amanda had brought him in because she saw him running away and she also saw the two tourists screaming desperately that someone should stop him.
She had called them all after that, he burnt his fingerprints so they couldn't find out who he really was. She was sure, that guy was hiding something, but she simply didn't know what it was. Nick had felt the same way as her during the interrogation with him.
A woman —her name was Alice Parker— had taken pictures of him exposing to those tourists, but he said that was a vendetta because he ruined her pictures.
And even then, they were willing to let him free if he gave his DNA. He denied it, and eventually, got away with it.
In their next encounter, they found out that he had raped and held captive to Alice Parker for eighteen hours. "The beast" as she described him to her, did a number on her. He burnt her with cigarettes and keys, while raping her repeatedly. She couldn't help then to feel so sick about what he did to that woman.
Lately, they found out who he was and what he had done before arriving to New York.
She died —she thought that was because of the fear— and again, he got away with it. His lawyer said the NYPD was making all up as a vendetta against him.
The captain had sent her home for two days, and she hadn't argued then, because she felt very tired and sick over all the ordeal.
That's when her hell started.
"We later found out that he had a number of rapes on his count, but he managed to get away with it" She was having flashbacks at every moment as she kept talking. She let the tears fall, as she never did before, maybe because now there was someone that could understand her in a way.
He kept looking at her, thinking that she was even stronger than he thought she was. He couldn't even start to imagine what came next but he kept in silence as she continued telling him what she went through.
"He raped and held captive a sixty years old woman and managed to get away with it, too" Her voice sounded weaker than what she pretended. After all this time, she had come to the conclusion she would never be the same self she had been before it, and somehow she was okay with it "The cap sent me home for two days, because he knew that the case was difficult for me, and when I came back to my apartment he was there. He was there pointing at me with my own gun"
She was breaking again, as the memories flooded through her mind. She remembered those words and they gave her goosebumps "Welcome home detective Benson"
She couldn't let herself cry then, because she was there to help him. "He held me in my apartment for two days, and after that he moved me into a beach house, he had me for four days. I managed to get free and I almost killed him"
He could hear the heaviness in her voice, but then he couldn't help wonder if she had been raped. "Did he?" He couldn't finish the question, but she knew what he meant, if he had raped her.
"No, he didn't do that" But the abuse she suffered went beyond that. "Before going to.the beach house he went to the house of the parents of his lawyer, the one that got him free" She remembers then how he made her watch while she raped that other woman. He burnt the other woman every time she dared to look away. "He killed the father and raped the mother while he made me watch" The words got tangled in her mouth as she said them. She wouldn't tell him that she thought of him every minute of it, she wouldn't admit it at all.
"Where is he now?" He knew he would kill him if he could
"He managed to get out of prison after he was convicted and got to me again, he had a twelve years girl and he knew I would go to save her" That is what lieutenant Murphy told her and she didn't hear him.
"He killed himself then" She looked up at him, he was looking straight her "That's why I recognized the signs"