Hello! Please don't read my work if you ship incest or minor/adult, don't respect cannon representation (i.e ship lesbians with men) or if I've expressed discomfort with you personally.

Thank you! Other than that I hope you enjoy this, even the shortest review is greatly appreciated!

Lemongrab would never be able to understand how his subjects did it. All he needed to do was yell "LIGHTS OUT!" and every single one of them would drop as if dead. He'd had to stop calling lights out while they were working, or they would literally fall asleep in the trees they were picking fruit from. Lemonblombo broke his leg and since then bedtime in the Lemon Earldom had been made longer with extra steps like "make sure you're actually in a bed first" but even so it was astounding. Just like that they'd all be asleep.

If only the same could be said for him.

Lemongrab tossed over again and muttered something incomprehensible. Why couldn't he do it? He was tired, he was in bed, he'd done everything you were supposed to, he'd drank the stupid warm milk and everything- so why couldn't he just sleep already?! It bordered on unacceptable.

It was his fourth night in a row having insomnia. Fourth! It was disgusting. Unbelievable. His brain- how dare it. If LSP was here he'd complain all about it to her, but four nights ago she'd moved back to Lumpy Space for her coronation.

As soon as he remembered that his chest tightened and it felt like his insides were tying themselves into knots. He instinctively reached out to touch her side of the bed, seeking her warmth but finding only cold, empty sheets.

He drew his hand back. He was busy during the day so he could distract himself with paperwork and manual labour from the gnawing loneliness. He wouldn't think about how each day she wasn't with him, it grew a bit bigger. Till now it was all he could feel and he couldn't hide from how much he missed her.

Lemongrab muttered something else and yanked his pillow down so he could hug it. He sadly stroked it but the texture was all wrong. LSP was covered in a fine coat of fluffy fur, so when he touched her, his hand dissolved in softness. And she had been so warm.

He turned his head to look up at the ceiling mural Jermaine had painted for him. Jermaine hadn't understood why Lemongrab insisted on going over all his sketches and personally drawing in each individual purple flower. Or why he had to lie there and watch him paint every single one. Then he'd seen him and LSP together and it all made sense. The dog hadn't said anything to him (thank glob) but he'd smiled at him knowingly in a way that made the earl squirm with embarrassment. It was so obvious that they were meant to symbolise her. So he'd always have a part of her with him when he went to bed.

He looked up at the outlines of the flowers in the dim moonlight. They seemed so high up, too high up to reach and touch, as far away from him as she was. It didn't feel like he had a part of her with him, it felt like he had a cruel reminder of the empty space beside him. Mocking him.

He hugged the pillow and tried to pretend it was her, but the shape was all wrong. The size was wrong. The everything was wrong. And no matter how much he squeezed it, it would never hug him back. The arms that were supposed to be around him were gone. The gentle sound of her breathing was gone. It just lay there, cold and limp.

He turned his head to look at the phone on the bedside table. It would be wrong to call her this late. It would be unacceptable. He should be ashamed of himself for even considerin-

Lemongrab reached for the phone with zero hesitation..

It was stupid. He was a grown man. He didn't need someone else to put him to sleep.

Lemongrab shakily dialed the memorised phone number.

It was dumb to assume that just because they were in love they could be together all the time. He had to get used to being on his own. He should already be used to being on his own. He'd been alone for all his life- being together was supposed to be the hard part. He'd always found other people difficult. It had always just been him. He'd always been able to look after himself before. He shouldn't need someone else to put him to sleep.

He jabbed the final button. He needed her to put him to sleep.

He pressed the phone to his head. Nothing. Just the dial tone. A dull beep beep, beep beep instead of her voice. He traced round the phone cord, running his finger up and down as his heart raced. Bump bump, bump bump. She'd pick up soon. He'd hear her voice. The gentle sound of her breathing into the receiver, her voice travelling down the wire he was wrapping his finger round right into his heart. Bump bump. Beep beep. He wound the cord round and round. Beep beep. He pulled it so tight it nearly snapped.

She wasn't picking up.

He let go of the wound up cord as all the excitement he'd been building up unravelled. It was late after all, she'd already gone to bed. She was already asleep, gently breathing as she dreamed. She didn't need him, he thought, not like he needed her. It was just going to be him tonight, alone. Like he always had been.

There was a click. "Hello?" came her muffled voice. "What the lump is this, it's two in the morning. Dummy prank caller. If I ever meet you it's on sight, I'll rip off your arms, I'll rip off your ugly legs, I'll rip off your wig- unless you don't wear one, then I'll put a wig on you just to rip it off. And-"

He instantly felt better. It was like magic. "Hello? Mmmmm Princeeess?"

"Omg hiiiiiiii Lemmy~" LSP switched fast enough to give anyone whiplash. "Why aren't you asleep is something wrong?"

Lemongrab smiled and gently rocked back and forth as her voice washed over him. "I am, ngh, okay now."

"Can you like, not sleep, or something?"

Lemongrab didn't say anything as the answer was obvious.

"Well anyway, I'm really happy you called. I was like, literally just thinking about you this is crazy!"

"Iiii was… thinking about yoouu tooo, my sugarlump."

"What were you thinkiiing?~" LSP said flirtatiously, "were you like, thinking about how hot I am?"

"Well no-"

LSP switched back to her "I will rip your arms off" voice. "What the hell do you mean no, little man?"

Lemongrab broke into a cold sweat. "I-I meeaaan, my darling, that Iiii…" Lemongrab clutched the phone cord from embarrassment, "I miss you."

He stroked the cord with a yellow finger. "I know you need tooo go to Lumpy Space for your mm coronation- and very acceptable it is, I'm sure! You deserve to bee a queen, and to have everyone admire you as much as Iiii doo, I want everyone to see how special you are. But… But I wish you were with me too." Now that he'd started it all came pouring out. All the little things he hadn't even realised he missed about her, like having her clothes hanging next to his in the wardrobe, or eating dinner together, he hadn't realised how quiet the table was without her, how lonely, how empty the castle felt. How empty he felt.

LSP didn't say anything for a while and then there was a weird crackling sound on her end of the line.

"W-what was that?"

"I gave you a kiss through the phone." she said factually.

"O-oh. Mmm thanks?"

"I miss kissing…" LSP said dreamily, "You get so embarrassed about it it's soooo cute! You know, I'd never seen a boy blush green before."

LSP would probably be happy to know that he was furiously blushing green all the way through that sentence. Lemongrab didn't say anything, he just muttered flustered gibberish and played with the phone cord like a teenage girl.

"I miss… I miss so much stuff I can't even pick one. I just miss you. I am having fun in Lumpy Space, and my coronation is gonna be lumping amazing. But I just keep thinking that it'd be so much more fun if you were here." LSP sighed heavily.

"Hmmm…" Lemongrab hummed as he listened to her, "mayybee… Iii should visit?"

"OH MY GLOB YEAH YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME!" LSP yelled into the phone loud enough to blow his ears off if he had them. "Wait aren't you like, mad busy tho?"

"Yes but… I have come to aaa realisation," He was wrong when he thought LSP didn't need him the way he needed her. She did need him. She missed him and she wished he was with her the same way he did. This whole time they'd been secretly yearning after each other. He shouldn't have to be alone if they both wanted to be together. And maybe they couldn't be together all the time, but they could try.

"My people need me but, you need mee toooo...I know your parents need you… but I need you too." he admitted quietly, "I can't sleep without you."

"Aw!" LSP gave him another phone kiss, "Okay okay I'll put you to sleep."

Lemongrab was overjoyed. "Really?!" LSP shhed him through the phone. The sound of it was gentle and soft, and so real. Almost as if she was there with him, on her side of the bed.

"Lieee dooown~" LSP murmured and he obeyed her, already feeling sleepy, "Close your eyes~" she didn't need to tell him twice. "Would you like me to tell you a bedtime story or should I sing?" she simpered into his ear and he shivered.

"Sing…" No one could understand why Lemongrab liked LSP's voice so much, most people just put it down to him having peculiar tastes as he'd never exactly been known for his normalcy. Even LSP wondered why he genuinely liked hearing her sing, no one else really did. She wasn't used to it so she couldn't understand it.

She asked him about it once and all he said was; "You have aaa... beautiful voice."

"Yeah right." she'd scoffed. "I sound like a freaking grown man trying to do a valley girl impression."

Lemongrab looked sad and was quiet for a while. "If you do not believe that I like it then, will you believe me if I say, I love it because it's a part of you?"

"This is the song baby Sweet P likes," she told him, "he like, totaaaally loves me. I'm, like, absolutely his favourite babysitter eva! Even though I trashed his parents' house, but that's not important. What I mean is: I think you'll like it."

Lemongrab was already half asleep. He shifted to get comfortable in the bed he'd just been tossing around in, with the phone leaned against him. He heard LSP's gentle breathing as she inhaled to start singing and then the sweet melody of her voice wrapped him up like a blanket.

"But-ter cakes, cup-cakes and ice-cream-cakes,

Small baby bums, and the friend-ship of pup-pies…"

It was a tiny lullaby and LSP worried for a moment that it was too short, but she heard Lemongrab breathing deeply through the receiver and grinned to herself.

Lemongrab was normally the one who fell asleep first while she stayed up late. She hadn't realised how much she needed his soft breathing to calm her and lull her to sleep until she tried to sleep alone in her own bed and it felt so wrong. It was so cold without him draping an arm over her when he rolled over. Pulling her close, making her feel safe. It had been so lonely.

She didn't know how long she lay there, just listening to him until she felt her own eyelids begin to droop. She planted another kiss on the phone's speaker for him and whispered the final part of the song. She'd hoped he'd still be awake to hear it, but to be honest, she just wanted to say it to him.

"You are more precious than anything in this world. And I will always, always love you..."