Starco vs Parenthood Introduction - These chapters can be read separately but they are all connected. It's always the same Star & Marco, same kids, same world.
This is going to be a three chapter tale. The beginning of part 1 takes place a few days before 'Chapter 31 - Star's First Christmas' and the Volcanos section of 'Chapter 19 - Consent'. For reference on where they are in their lives, Star is currently a junior at Echo Creek Academy while Marco is taking classes at the local community college.
Warning, this story includes references to Santa and sadly not every character is a true believer. If you're a believer, ignore what the characters say about him here, they're just misinformed. I bet they didn't even believe in the Great Stump.
Favs, reviews, and constructive feedback are all really helpful. Thanks!
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Chapter 32 - Ode to the Dark Lord of the Multiverse, Part 1
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The Glass Serpent
It's the last day before winter break and fifty feet above the ground Marco flies his dragon-cycle toward Echo Creek Academy. Behind him the object of his affection has her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. As her long blond hair flutters in the wind the two make small talk knowing that once school starts they won't be able to see each other until the afternoon.
"What's for lunch today? Please-something-good, please-something-good, please-something-good."
"I packed you the leftover spaghetti and meatballs from the other night."
"Yes! Best boyfriend ever!"
"And the steamed broccoli you didn't finish."
"Wha? You just had to ruin my whole day didn't you!"
"I think you'll survive. I also put some grated cheese in a separate container. Maybe try adding it to the pasta instead of straight sugar."
"Whatever rules boy, my lunch my way. Hey, what's with all the flashing lights around the school?"
"I-I don't know."
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7:12 AM and police cars litter the school parking lot. Between the vehicles dozens of students mill around clearly concerned about what might be going on inside. After circling the building Star and Marco spot Buff Frog speaking to a swat team by the school's main entrance. Thinking they might be able to help, Nachos and the two teens land right next to Echo Creek's latest reincarnation of the famous opossum statue. Before the couple can dismount, their Russian accented friend is calling them over.
"Ah good! Star Butterfly and Karate Boy! Come-come, we have situation and these human's in their round helmets no listen to me. It like words just bounce off plastic heads."
The leader of the police unit, Marco guessed he was a lieutenant based on what he could see of his badge, was clearly annoyed by the interruptions. "Listen kids, you can't be here right now. We have a dangerous creature inside and my team is preparing to go in."
"It glass serpent. Some round boy with face on belly say he brought clear egg to school because he was failing something called 'science class'."
Marco rubbed the bridge of his nose knowing exactly who to focus his disappointment on. "Oh Ferguson. Excuse us office but we have experience with situations like this. Do you know where it is now?
"Police toy car drive around and find in Art Department."
"Listen Mister Frog, we appreciate the briefing on Mewni wildlife but..."
Marco ignored the lieutenant and turned back to Buff Frog. "Where is the egg now?"
"Round boy locker. If you want to ask more details, belly face over there talking to TV people." Marco and the officers followed Buff Frogs finger and saw the red haired teenager giving an interview to a camera crew...using the face on his stomach.
"I swear I told him to stop doing that. Alright, Star and I will get it out of the building. Yvgeny, if you know where his locker is can you grab the egg and get it outside?"
"Da. Principal call Buff Frog when serpent spotted and showed the locker location on map."
"Star? Star?" Turning back around the former knight was surprised to find his bestie tapping away on her phone, completely oblivious to the situation.
"Marco-Marco, Sabrina broke up with her boyfriend last night...they were such a cute couple!"
"Star, have you been paying attention at all?"
"Yeah, I mean he's a little passive-aggressive and he gets this weird wet dog smell when his fur is damp. You're right, I should have seen this coming."
"Star?"
"Hold on, I'm replying back to the group chat now."
"Star, there's a Mewni glass serpent in your school! We need to get it out before the swat team tries shooting it up!"
"Oh...OH! Sorry!" Looking over at the heavily armed humans, Star shakes her head in disapproval. "You're going to shoot it, seriously? Haven't you seen that meme where the guy fires like a bajillion bullets at one and they all bounce off? Just say out here, we got this. Hey if you see a girl a little taller than me with long brown hair looking all sad be nice to her. She's having a really rough morning."
The six police officers looked at each other confused as the teens stepped over the yellow caution tape and entered the building.
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Star and Marco strolled down the vacant halls. He was keeping an eye out for the serpent while Star focused on her phone.
"I can't believe this happened."
"Yeah, I told Ferguson not to mess with any of the wildlife until everything dangerous is moved out of town."
"I was talking about Sabrina! She's so nice, I wonder what went wrong."
"Maybe they grew apart?"
"They've only been together for two months, that's not enough time for teenagers to 'grow apart'. Hey, I'm going to stop by my locker and grab my mace."
"You have your mace at school? You know you're not supposed to bring weapons onto school property."
"The rules say no guns, swords, knives, battle axes, halberd, pole axes, bow, crossbows, blow guns, brass knuckles, spiked gloves, explosives, or flammable hair products. Janna checked the student handbook and it doesn't say anything about maces."
"I think the point is no weapons but we don't need it anyway, I was thinking that we go with the rodeo trick."
"Oh nice! I want to be the cowboy though, I haven't been the cowboy in like forever!"
"So I have to be bait?"
"I'm going to need your belt."
"Why do I always have to be the bait?"
"Because your the most beautiful bait in all of Earthni." With that Star gave her boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek while at the same time removing the leather strap that held his pants tight way quicker then Marco was comfortable with.
"Wait-wha...how'd you learn to do that so fast?"
"Natural talent I guess. Now go on, I'll be waiting here."
As he continued down the hall he simply mumbled to himself, "I hate being bait."
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Thirty seconds later and Marco is by the art rooms. With the school evacuated he figured any strange noises should be the snake unless not everyone got out like they were supposed to. Before the young man could imagine what a glass serpent would do to the average high school student, the sound of chairs sliding across the linoleum floor came from one of the open classrooms.
"Well, there's only one way to be sure it's here." With that the boy let out a short series of whistles while slowly walking backwards. He could see Ferguson's locker down the hall and guessed that the serpent could smell it's egg so it likely wouldn't go too far unless he was able to get it really-really angry.
Reaching into his fanny pack, he planned on pulling out a small container of pepper spray but instead found that someone had reorganized it for him. Instead the spot it once occupied was filled with various mustard, ketchup, and relish packets. "Oh Star. I guess I should be happy it's not sugar. Well, I hope this works."
With packets in hand, the red hoodie wearing boy rips the condiments open with his teeth while kicking the locker next to him. It was a noise that could be heard clear across campus and he knew it was more than loud enough to agitate a glass serpent. Proof of that was the creature quickly slithering out into the hall. The beast was the largest snake Marco had seen on Earthni but compared to the ones he fought in the Neverzone it didn't even make the top ten. Once the creature was close enough to strike the boy let the packets fly and as planned the vinegar based food products landed squarely in its eyes.
At full speed Marco sprinted back down the halls, the thirty foot long snake at his heels. Had it not been for the hamburger fixings the young man might have been easy prey. However the obstructed vision was enough to cause the viper to slither into lockers and walls as it followed the noise of Marco's feet. That all ended however when Star came flying out of an open classroom. She flipped her boyfriend's belt across the serpent's mouth mid-jump while at the same time landing cleanly on the creature's back.
"CLEAR THE WAY!"
This was the last thing the officers heard before Marco ran outside. A second later the glass serpent burst through the metal double doors being ridden by the one and only Star Butterfly. Now with more room to maneuver the former princes begin steering the beast by pulling the belt strung across its mouth. Once she established control off toward the closest park she rode. Not even a minute after Buff Frog hopped out of the school with a foot tall transparent egg in which a young snake could clearly be seen growing. The amphibian tossed the serpent's most prized possession to the young Diaz who was waiting on his dragon-cycle.
"Good job Karate Boy. You find safe spot in park for this. Later today I come back with team of monsters to move her far from here."
After a nod Marco was gone. As he flew past his Star, she looked up and gave him a wave. The snake was bucking and bouncing but the young mewman with her strong grip, was too much for the creature.
As directed Marco found a lightly wooded location not even a half mile from school. Star, who had been following, rode her slithering mount close enough where the serpent could finally see its shelled child. After giving her boyfriend a signal for help, in a flyby maneuver Marco grabbed his Star by the arm and pulled her up onto Nachos for the ride back. He got a glimpse of her face as she secured herself behind him and was fairly certain that there was a tear in his girlfriend's eye.
"Hey, are you alright?"
"Not really."
"Oh no, did you get hurt!?"
"No-no, I just keep thinking about Sabrina and I feel really bad for her."
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The Great Lunch Debate
Five hours after the serpent situation, a deep philosophical discussion is taking place in the Echo Creek Academy lunchroom. Normally Janna, StarFan, and Star joked around or talked about ships as they ate but today there was an important topic that Star needed guidance on and Janna was more than willing to give it.
"So like I said, Santa is a marketing tool. He only exists to guilt parents into buying toys for their children. Stick with your Mewni Stump, the world doesn't need anymore mindless slaves to consumerism. Corporate America just wants the working poor to overspend on plastic junk that's going to end up in a landfill before summer." As Star's favorite troublemaker stated her case, the poetry fan placed her boots up on the table and leaned back while at the same time playing a game on her phone.
Not happy with Janna's statement, StarFan furrowed her brow as she tossed back a counter argument. "Don't listen to her Starrr, Santa is real! You know Janna, if you believed in Santa maybe you wouldn't be stuck on his naughty list every year."
"If there really was a list keeper in a red suit who watches everything we do, he'd know I enjoyed earning my place on his naughty list. But instead of worrying about whether or not a magic fat guy is making secret judgments about our morality, we should be talking about the Dark Lord of the Multiverse and what she might have done to Sabrina."
Star and pho-Star looked at each other and then back at Janna utterly confused.
"Fine, we should talk about Star's birthday. What are we going to do this year with only one boyfriend to fight over you?"
Star had been shoveling Marco's pasta into her mouth as she listened. The most well known girl in Echo Creek even added some of the cheese her bestie recommended…and a little sugar. "There's no big b-day plan but what I am looking forward to is a whole vacation week plus away from Skullzy. Think about it, staying up late, sleeping in, no worrying about Marco having to rush off to class, mmmm. Santa or not, this is going to be a great week off. I was reading about how guys take off their shirts before they fight so they don't overheat. If there is a fight on my birthday I'm going to try to convince Marco to do that...cause...I-ah...I don't want him to overheat."
Janna glanced over at Star and wondered if saying things that would annoy Marco added to her naught total. "You know since you're turning sixteen, in some states you'll finally be old enough to date your thirty-something without him having to worry about jail time."
Star just grinned, pasta sauce stuck to her lips. "I'll make sure to mention that to him the next time we're making out. I'm sure he'd like to hear that."
StarFan looked back and forth between the two, again confused. "Starrr, I thought Marco turned sixteen at the end of November."
The troublemaker smirked once she realized StarFan didn't know the story. "Seems our red hoodie had a sixteen year affair with a certain top heavy member of the Magical High Commission back when..."
"Janna, that is NOT what happened." She looked back over to StarFan ready to give a better explanation. "Marco was tested in this super dangerous place called the Neverzone and by passing he earned his own pair of dimensional scissors. The weird thing is that time works differently in this other place so he was thirty and totally hot when I showed up to save him. Marco almost stayed but I told him how much he'd be missed and that was enough to get him to come back to Earth with me. Then because of magic and weird dimensional stuff he went from Mister Abs back to normal fourteen year old Marco again."
StarFan's eyes glazed over as story possibilities swirled around in her head. "Wow, you're so lucky Starrr. If he's thirty you have this totally experienced boyfriend who must know all sorts of romantic stuff. Marco must be the best kisser ever."
Star was taken aback, not expecting the conversation to go in that direction. "Well, he's not that experienced but yeah he's a good kisser."
Janna's phone was away at this point, this conversation needed all of her attention. "Star girl, you know I love you like a sister so I'm not saying this to hurt you but I have a hard time imagining a thirty year old Marco not being 'experienced'."
"No-no-no, he would have told me if..."
"Star?"
"He totally would have told me!"
"Starrr, is he a good kisser because you two have been practicing a lot or is he a good kisser because he stuck his tongue down another woman's throat for sixteen years?"
"Well...ah...before the Neverzone h-he used to practice with a mirror...a-and..."
"Starrr, this is going to make for the best drama ever!" As Janna and Star continued the conversation StarFan opened her laptop and began outlining plotline ideas for her next story while at the same time finishing off a juicebox.
"You know Star, if you're not sure we can ask Jackie."
"Wha?"
"We'll just ask her if he was a normal teen when they dated or if he was some sort of super experienced lover type."
"No-no-no-no, I'll just ask Marco where he learned to kiss. He wouldn't hide anything from me."
"Come on Star, don't you want independent verification? Jackie dated him after his Neverzone trip right?"
"Y-yeah, before and after."
"Perfect. Since she was his first girlfriend while he was in the Neverzone she should know if the first kiss after he got back was a normal teen safe-kid kiss or an experienced older I totally know what I'm doing kiss."
"I-I don't know. I mean I'm kinda interested in knowing and if I ask him directly he'll get all stressed out and think he's done something wrong. B-but there is no way I could ask Jackie something super personal like that. What happened while they were dating really needs to stay between Jackie and Marco."
"Don't worry Star, your sister Janna has your back. I am already on the naughty list. Plus it's better to learn now then after you two have been dating awhile. We need to make sure you and Marco stay way ahead of the Dark Lord's relationship ending touch."
Before anyone else at the table could react, the young troublemaker was out the cafeteria door and down the hall. As Star thought about her boyfriend and all they had done together she felt certain that he had already told her all the important Neverzone details and yet as the young woman looked down at the remnants of her lunch, she realized that she was too nervous to keep eating.
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Skater-butt
Star Butterfly peeked out her classroom window and smiled after spying both Nachos and her boyfriend waiting out in the parking lot. The last bell had rung and now she only needed to drop a few things off at her locker before having over a week of freedom. Before she could get to far however a certain beanie wearing friend snuck up behind Star and started pulling her by the arm. The girl had other plans for the former princess.
"Janna, I have to hurry. Marco and I are supposed to do some shopping for the Secret Santa and then he wants to get a few more toys for his sister."
"Squire boy isn't going to cry if he has to wait a few more minutes. Come on, if you don't do this now you're going to regret it."
After walking the labyrinth of hallways the two are in front of Jackie's locker just as the super chill teen is putting on her helmet. "Hey ladies, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
Slowly leaning in, Janna whispers a single phrase. "...Skater-butt..."
Just like that Jackie stood with her arms at her side and blank expression on her face. Star looked Marco's first girlfriend up and down, completely bewildered by how this whole hypnotism trick really worked.
"Go ahead Star, ask her."
"Janna! You didn't have too..."
"Star, I know you want the dets on this stuff. Just ask, she isn't even going to remember."
The mewman gave Janna the look Marco always gives when he thinks the trickster has gone too far. The last time he did this was when Marco found out Janna taught Star how to get into his internet history. "Fine. Jackie, is Santa real?"
"W-what? Santa?" The skater girl stuttered her response before completely dropping character. "Janna, you said she was going to ask me an important question about Marco."
Janna rolled her eyes, completely disappointed with how this was going down. "Arrgh...fine. Star, I asked Jackie to pretend to be hypnotized but I only did it to try to help you out. I knew you wouldn't ask her otherwise."
"Ask me what exactly? You know I'd tell you anything." At this point Jackie was completely confused.
"Star wants to know if Marco turned into this super experienced lover from all the time he spent in the Neverzone."
"I ONLY said that I was interested in knowing where he learned to kiss from."
"Yeah-yeah, but I know what you were thinking. Come on Jacks, give up the goods."
"Shouldn't you be talking to Marco about this?"
"Janna thinks I need 'independent veri-something'."
"Totally the truth, he always seemed to knew his stuff but he never gave me the super experienced vibe. Maybe he practiced kissing with that little head that used to live on his neck? So you know Star, we really didn't do much together. Seriously, most of the times when Marco and I hung out he was talking about Mewni or you. This is kinda awkward so unless it's super important I'm not sure if I want to get any deeper than that."
Janna shook her head, not happy with that answer. "But the dude's like thirty something, he must have learned something? Did anything seems different to you after he was in the Neverzone?"
"Listen, when we kissed it was fine and he didn't really talked about this Never-place. It was almost like he avoided it. The one thing I will tell you, the dork was awful at guessing what I was thinking. Super nice but the two of us were never really in-sync. Does that help you Star?"
"It does. Thanks Jackie. I think Janna here is more worried about Marco's 'experience' than I am."
Jackie winked at the coolest girl in Echo Creek. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think Janna was his girlfriend."
Janna rolled her eyes, "I'd break him in a week."
"If you ladies don't mind, I need to run. I'm supposed to teach Lobster Claws how to skateboard. It's weird, he can roll backwards fine but moving forward messes him all up."
"Have a good holiday Jackie!" After waving goodbye to the shorts wearing teen Star turned back to Janna. The troublemaker still wasn't satisfied. "Come on Janna, are we good now?"
"Not yet. Do you remember the day you and Marco got the whole Blood Moon thing removed?"
"The curse? Yeah, I remember."
"Before he went to talk to you he asked me to help him deal with his feelings so I hypnotized him for real. I tried to get him to only like you as a friend but it didn't work because of the curse. However, while he was under I asked if there were any other girls into him so I could redirect his feelings to someone he could date."
"So you didn't try to make him date you?"
"I did but this was after."
"I'm sure he said Kelly. Everyone knew she wanted to go out with him but what does that have to do with Marco being in the Neverzone?"
"Hekapoo. His response was his special immortal friend Hekapoo. So next I asked what happened in the Neverzone and he started talking about old Mackie Hand movies, a thunder goddess, being a root vegetable, ghost people…anyway it didn't make any sense."
"That's fine Janna, really it doesn't matter. If something happened there that might impact our relationship he'd tell me about it. I trust him."
"I trust the dork too but...I just don't want to see you get hurt. I've been watching you two be a couple for what, four or five months now? You guys seem really happy when you're not stuck dealing with all the leftover Cleave crap and I don't want to see that get messed up. And then after hearing about Sabrina and thinking about the rules of the Dark Lord I realized that if you guys don't have a solid foundation she might get you too."
"Da who now?"
"The Dark Lord of the Multiverse. You know about her right?"
With a blank stare, Star shook her head no.
"I don't believe in Santa or gods or anything like that but there is a Dark Lord of the Multiverse and she controls a whole bunch of our universe's fundamental laws."
"Ah...did you get knocked on the head when the snake was in the school this morning?"
"I'm being serious."
"Right-right, but I'm not following. I've totally never heard of this lord person before."
"Star, she talked about herself right in the Book of Spells. You never saw that?"
The former princess replied with a shrug.
"I admit I didn't think much of it at first but I was searching for some info on demonic magic and accidentally found all sorts of stuff about her."
"You know I could set you up with Tom if you really wanted to learn about demon magic. Oh! Since you're his Secret Santa you should get him something arts and crafts related. It's one of his little secrets. Did you know he and his mom hand make decorations for their annual Burn the Mewman festival?"
"Please stop shipping me for a minute and listen, once I started taking the Dark Lord seriously I did some digging. Evidently she put out all these hidden messages in old Mewni writing as well as in 80s and 90s Earth media. That's how she tells us about the parts of our lives that she manages."
"Okay, so if she does exist what exactly does she control?"
"How people change over time, how every solution creates a new problem, how ideas like racism can't immediately go away. The Dark Lord is even why the main ship in most TV series doesn't happen until the end when there isn't enough time left to explore them."
"I HATE it when that happens. So you're saying that she controls how people think or does she control fate?"
"It's more like she manages fate. There is also a whole other group of beings above her who really run things but they let her take care of the day-to-day stuff. Also for a 'dark lord' she really isn't that bad, I'd definitely hang with her if she wanted to chill. Maybe I'd invite her to a poetry reading. Now the Dark Lords of Conservatism, those guys are pure evil. Anyway, I found one of her hidden messages and it has me worried about you and Marco."
"..."
"Relationships between teenagers probably don't work out."
"Seriously, there's some woman who comes up with rules like...wait-wait-wait...what do you mean relationships between teenagers don't work out!? I'm a teenager, I've never heard about this rule!?"
"Sorry Star, if you play the original Sailor Moon theme backwards at twice-speed, this teenage dating rule is there as plain as day. Relationships that start when people are teenagers are unlikely to survive into adulthood."
Star stood in front of her friend stunned. As she tried to wrap her head around this new information, one of the monsters who everyone called Squire Girl stepped next to the pair and cleared her throat to get their attention. "Hey Star, Lars is telling the mewmans that Santa is going to burn down their houses when they sleep."
"Arrgh. Can you please remind Lars that I might not have magic but I still have fists like hammers and if that doesn't work let Marco know. He's in the parking lot."
"Got it, thanks."
Turning back to Janna, Star puts a finger to her chin as she prepares her reply. "Is that why Sabrina broke up with her boyfriend?"
"Probably."
"And you think this Dark Lord of the Multiverse is going to make it so Marco and I aren't happy together?"
"Maybe. Some of this information I just learned so there could be more out there. What I do know is that today's news about Sabrina and then the talk about the Neverzone made me realize that if you guys aren't careful the same thing could happen to you."
"Janna, I'm glad you told me about this but Marco and I are totally working right now. I haven't thought too much past next week but I'm sure if Marco and I are meant to be, we're going to be fine. Hey, if Marco and I do start having any problems you'll be the first to know."
"Yes. Yes I will."
"I'm going to head outside before Marco starts getting worried. You know how he is. See you at the Secret Santa party and thanks for looking out for us. Really, thanks."
Janna gave a quick wave before reluctantly heading in the other direction. In a few steps Star was finally at her locker. As she rearranged the contents of her bag the former magic wielder tried to figure out why Janna was making such a big deal about Marco's Neverzone time and was there really some person called the Dark Lord of the Multiverse? If there was an all-powerful woman who managed all facets of the multiverse, Star wondered what her thoughts were on shipping.
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Author's note: We are at a time skip. During this jump 'Chapter 31 - Star's First Christmas' and then the Volcanoes section 'Chapter 19 - Consent' both take place in quick succession. You might want to read them before going ahead if you haven't already, but who am I to tell you what to do? The story should still work even if you don't.
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Late Night Gift
It's the night before New Year's Eve day, only a few days before the end of winter vacation. Since her last class a number of things have changed for Star. First is that she's now sixteen. Not only did this mean the start of driving lessons and a learner's permit, it also had the mewman thinking about possible getting her first job assuming being queen for four days, teaching Eclipsa how to rule, and being a junior ambassador for Mewni after the Cleave didn't all count. Second she experienced her first Earth style Christmas. There had been lots of food Star didn't recognize, gift exchanges, stories of Christmas past, and even a few sing-a-longs with the extended Diaz family. It had taken the young woman a few weeks to warm up to the idea of Christmas, worried that the holiday might upset the Great Stump, but now that she'd experienced all the Earth event had to offer she was sold. Third and just as important as the others, the brief make out sessions with Marco since her birthday had become unusually intense. Their relationship was slowly beginning to change and she was very excited thinking about what might happen next.
The only downer was the mistletoe incident. Marco's parents weren't overly concerned but Star had to have another long conversation with her dad about why it was still best for her to share a room with her bestie. Her main arguments centered around how the Diaz family helped her with her schoolwork, Marco always being a perfect gentleman by doing things like always sleeping on the air mattress, and how she would never be able to get to school on time if the former squire wasn't there to fly her in every morning.
The former princess still had some questions about Christmas, but as the newly showered Star Butterfly walked into their shared bedroom she was pretty sure she'd be fine living the rest of her life with the chores of Jingle Bells repeating over and over again in her head.
"Hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm, hm hm hmm hmm hmmmmm. Hey Marco, this Santa dude...I'm still not sure where I stand with him. I get Janna's point that if he did eat cookies after fifty or so houses he would need to stop to use the bathroom or a chamberpot or something. I searched online and I couldn't find any reports of Santa using people's bathrooms while delivering presents so maybe Janna is right about him not existing? She also said something about corporate greed, whiny kids, and parents trying to make up for being mentally abusive. But then StarFan is telling me that it's all true and Santa's Magic is powered by cookies so he wouldn't need to go."
On the bed sits her jammied boyfriend who just nods his head as he listens.
"Is there really Earth magic that's powered by food? I mean Earth food is really good. If it isn't fueled by cookies should we have left directions pinned to the tree on how to get to the bathroom just in case he needed to go? Seriously Marco, I saw all the presents Christmas morning so I want to believe but how can all of this Santa stuff be real?"
As she spoke it became obvious to Star that her boyfriend, with his nervous smile and hands behind his back, was concealing something. "Ah...well...if you want to believe then you should."
"Marco, this was my first Christmas. Remember last year we weren't on Earth so I missed all this. Can you please just fill me in? This whole Santa story doesn't make any sense unless there's a Magical Christmas Dimension that can make wrapped presents on demand and if there was I totally would have heard about it before now."
The former knight just gave a shoulder shrug.
"You're hiding something from me Diaz."
"Well-ah...it's late but I have another gift for you if, you know...if you want it."
"A gift?" Star's mood completely flipped. "I like gifts!"
His face was red with embarrassment as he hopped off of the bed and handed her a box wrapped in heart covered red paper. On top he had placed a white bow. "Late happy birthday."
"Wait-wait-wait, you already gave me a gift for my birthday. Look at you, my cute little bad-boy giving me extra presents!"
"About this...so this is the kind of present I don't want my parents to know about. It's an -us- gift?"
"An -us- gift?"
"An -us- gift."
"Like us-us gift?"
"Just go ahead and open it."
In under a second Star tore off the paper revealing a cardboard box that she quickly ripped into. Hidden within several layers of crushed pink tissue Star found three round containers. Taking the top one out she held it up to the light so she could better read the label. "Ah...body butter? Is this for cooking people?"
"Not exactly. There is also some foot cream and massage oil. I was also going to get some nice smelling candles too but I didn't want my parents to start asking questions. Here, get comfortable on top of the blankets and I'll show you what they are for. I was thinking we should try out the foot cream first."
Star was uncertain about what she should do so Marco led her to the bed and had her lay down on her back with her feet dangling over the edge. "Foot cream...sounds like something you put in your tea if you like how feet smell. But this is for rubbing feet? You're going to rub my feet right?"
"Only if you're okay with it."
"Yeah, totally-totally-totally." She nervously wiggled her toes as Marco placed a warm blanket over the young woman before tucking it around her. Once he was done only her head and feet were exposed. "Marco, is this a magic blanket? It's really warm."
"Just a small electric blanket, no magic. Instead it has a heating element inside. I got it for cabin camping years ago but never ended up using it. I figured it would be good for helping you relax."
"If I didn't know any better I'd say this was totally Earth magic. I could get used to this."
As she spoke Marco moved to the head of the bed before leaning down to give Star her instructions. "My plan is to try out some things I watched online. You should close your eyes and do what you can to relax. Just let me know if I do anything you really like or really you don't like. Most importantly, never check my browser history. Searching for 'things you can do to your girlfriend's feet' came back with lots of results I was NOT expecting."
Star smiled as she listened and when he was done talking she lifted her head up so they could share a kiss before he started. With eyes closed she listened to the bottle being opened...and still being opened...and…"Hold on, all this safety plastic is hard to get off. Oh, I almost forgot the music."
She just giggled as she imagined the look on his face as he struggled with the container. A few seconds later the sound of soft waves began playing over the new smart speaker that Santa had given Marco.
"Here we go. I'm going to rub it in my hands first to get it warmed up."
Questions began to pop in her head as she waited in anticipation. "So what made you decide to get me these lotion thingies? Is this going to feel all slimy between my toes? What happens if it tickles?"
"I've been thinking about this since your birthday when we started talking about -practicing-. I'm thinking if you don't like how it feels we'll wash your feet off. If it starts to tickle I'll stop. Ready?"
She gave a quick nod and immediately began feeling his soft touch on her left foot. "Eww, totally slimy."
"Sorry...I-I'll work it in. I need to make sure your skin is covered so my hands can slide around."
For the next few minutes the room was silent except for the repeated crashing of ocean waves. The young man focused on moving his fingers between each toe and then pressed his palms against her arch. She enjoyed the heated blanket and it didn't tickle but overall Star was not impressed. That all changed however once her bestie started pushing his knuckles into her left heel.
"Marco!"
"Sorry!"
"No-no, whatever you just did...don't stop."
"Oh, like this?"
"Yeeeesssss. I think you were being too soft at first. Ahhhhaaahhahhhaa...that's nice. Keep pushing hard like that pleasssse."
"As you wish m'lady."
For the next ten minutes Marco stretched toes, twisted and bent joints, and pressed into the bottom of her foot until Star almost found it painful. This was followed by the exact same process taking place on her right. The whole time the former princess made little squeaks and moans as she imagined herself floating on a cozy cloud while her best friend hovered over her doing his best to make her feel amazing. When it was done he left but quickly returned with a warm damp washcloth which he used to clean up the remaining lotion. "So what did you think?"
"Marco...t-that was something. If that cost $650 dollars it would totally be worth it."
"You relaxed enough to sleep now?"
"Well yeah...but wait, you deserve a foot rub too. I can't be the only one getting these."
"Star you don't have too..."
Popping up from under the blanket, Star grabbed his hand so he couldn't get away. "No-no, I might be half-asleep but fair is fair."
"Star, I haven't showered since this morning. What if I have sock lint stuck between my toes?" Although he resisted, Star was winning the battle of getting him to lay down with his feet uncovered.
"With how many times I've touched your sweaty back or smelled your hoodies after a day full of battles, I think I can handle some sock lint. Now relax! If these lotions are MY gift then I get to decide how we use them."
Completely giving in, the young college student closed his eyes and took a deep breath while his girlfriend got to work. The lotion was cold since she forgot to warm it up and then he had to bite his lower lip to keep himself from laughing when he found the light touch of her fingers ticklish.
While Marco tried his best to not give away his discomfort Star stood at the foot of the bed not really sure what to do now that his feet were completely covered in cream. After thinking about it for a second she went with copying the motions Marco had done. "So hun, I know you said that you looked stuff up online but is this something that you've done before? Once you started pushing down hard it felt way better than I expected, my bad-boy totally earned a foot rub belt tonight." As she spoke she started pushing harder, having remembered what she liked.
"I don't think I did anything like this before but I'm really glad you liked it. Star, I know you have fists like hammers but maybe not so hard. I'm thinking you might break a bone."
"Sorry. So what do you mean that you don't think you did? You don't remember doing this when you were dating Jackie or hanging out with Kelly? You can tell me you know, I won't judge."
"I never did anything beyond kissing with Jackie, I would have remembered if I'd done anything else. For Kelly, she was nice and sweet but like I told you before, I was never into her like that. I just said I don't remember because the Neverzone is kind of a blur to me. There was this one time when I cornered a Hekapoo clone and she said she wouldn't put up a fight if I helped her work out a foot cramp...but...but I think she was just faking it...and it wasn't quite like this with the cream. A-and there was this time when Brunzetta...had a wound on her ankle that...I helped bandage for her...but again it wasn't the same. Hey, now that you aren't pressing...so hard...this is...this is really relaxing."
"So ah, wha-what other things happened when you were in the Neverzone?"
"Some bad stuff...some good stuff. You know...battles...hunting for food...chasing...H-poo...sometimes I almost miss..."
Star kept repeating the same movements over and over as she watched the boy she loved relax to the point where he began drifting off to sleep. Once he was breathing deeply she made sure he was completely covered by the blanket before leaning down to give him a kiss goodnight. After washing her hands she turned off the lights and climbed onto the air mattress, right in the spot where Marco would normally sleep. Every night they would say a few final words to each other before closing their eyes but Marco was already out, leaving just Star.
"I love you too."
In the darkness the young man dreamt all sorts of crazy happy dreams, but not Star. All she could do was lay with her eyes wide open as she contemplated everything new she had learned over the past week. Foot rubs were awesome. There was an all powerful being who makes sure teenage relationships don't last. And most importantly in Star's mind, no matter how hard she tried not to she really did care about what Marco might have done in the Neverzone. The young woman could already tell, it was going to be a long sleepless night.
.
.
Dear wise and powerful Dark Lord of the Multiverse,
Hopefully my offering pleases you. If this is not enough and instead you wish for a chalice of tears or endless suffering for the countless hoard that follow you, let it be know and I shall forever compile. I only wish to serve.
Your humble servant,
Olin Nordenn
Stay tuned for parts 2 & 3. I know, another chapter with no kids but we'll get to them in part 3. Should be about a month until the next instalment. For those that aren't aware, the Dark Lord of the Multiverse is mentioned in the real life Book of Spells, right inside the cover. You get two points if you can guess who the term refers to. - Olin
New Cover - Credit for the cover goes to Mono1472. I recommend checking out their stuff on Tumblr. They have also created a number of comics inspired by stories in the series and others. There are even a few videos on YouTube.
Mono, thank you for letting me use your work! - Olin