SECOND CHANCE
PART 1
February 22nd, 1978
Four years, six months, and twelve days… long enough for him to forget she once was the love of his life. He had resigned to never having the family he once craved for and, although his life wasn't fully happy, he had been fortunate enough to have caring friends and a job he liked.
Then why had he felt so confused and anxious from the moment she had called?
"Who's this?" Hutch had asked.
"The woman who never darnt your socks!" She had replied with her usual sense of repartee.
Suddenly time seemed to have folded in on itself and the forgotten pain, frustrations and guilt resurfaced, weighing on his chest. He should have hung up the phone right away or found an excuse to avoid meeting her but instead he heard a voice he barely recognized accept the invitation without a second thought.
There he was, sitting before Huggy drinking his third beer and wondering why Vanessa had suddenly remembered his existence after all these years. It was almost eight and The Pitt was full of eclectic people. Buddies meeting around a beer, lonely people pretending to have a social life and Hutch, waiting nervously to meet the woman who walked out of his life a long time ago.
Inadvertently looking up from his drink, he spotted in the mirror behind the bar, the reflection of a splendid woman who just walked in. Vanessa was a lean, tall, and gorgeous woman with voluptuous dark hair and steel-blue eyes. She seemed out of place in a bar like The Pitt but nonetheless confidently crossed the room in the direction of the blond man sitting at the counter.
To onlookers, there was no doubt the only man who could compare to such a woman was this athletic man with golden strands, light-blue eyes, and facial features of those ancient Greek statues. He seemed just as out of place as her in this environment.
When Hutch turned to face her, he was ashamed to feel, almost immediately, a physical attraction for her. Something pulled at his heart and he couldn't help thinking she was the most beautiful woman he ever met.
"Keep your head cool, Hutchinson!" he berated himself as they walked to their table.
Now was not the time to play around. He came to prove to himself he was able to face her and ask for an explanation without flinching.
"Well, what do you say to a woman who left you because she thought being married to a cop held no future?"
She looked at him, surprised, then her lips curled into an impish smile that brightened up her unwavering eyes.
"You won't forgive, will you? I still love you, Ken... Separate or together, you're still on my mind." Vanessa pleaded.
Hutch's heart constricted in his chest. What was that? He was over her. She belonged to the past, to another life and there was no way he would go back to that period. He had no emotional reserve left to deal with another heartbreak.
He drew a deep breath and replied: "Look Van, why are you here? We had our shot, we blew it!"
He wanted to feel anger for her but instead it was regret who wormed its way to his gut. He hated his inability to control his feelings and if he were thinking straight, he would have left before it was too late.
"I'm here to tell you I've made a mistake. I'm sorry I hurt you so much. I was selfish and so immature. I let my frustration take over. Remember the way we were back in college? Everyone was so jealous of us." She kept her eyes locked on him all the time and tore her hands nervously as if trying to refrain from touching him.
Hutch tried to read into those eyes and even saw a hint of sincerity in it, but he couldn't trust his instincts anymore, not when it came to Vanessa. There was a time he could have sworn, he was able to read her mind, back when they were young and full of dreams, but life was a rollercoaster ride with highs and lows that one could never expect. The lows for him were abyssal almost five years ago and, if Starsky hadn't been there, he probably wouldn't have made it.
"After five years, suddenly you remember my existence? Listen Van, I don't know what you're trying to pull but I'm not going to take it anymore…"
He got up and was about to leave when she grabbed his hand and ran her thumb against his knuckles. The touch sent an electric wave through his entire body.
Huggy, who was heading to their table with a "Brandy Alexander" and another pint of beer, gave a concerned look to his fair-haired friend and hurried to deliver the glasses. Hutch shot him a glance that seemed to say, "not now please" and Huggy swiftly retreated behind the bar.
Vanessa kept holding his hand in a firm grip and pleaded: "Let me finish, please, then you can go if you want. I've traveled the world since I left you, been to all the places a woman is not supposed to be, met some rich and powerful people… All the things I thought I wanted but after a while, it all felt so vain and empty. Our love was the only thing that felt real… YOU were the only thing I could dearly remember after all these years…"
Hutch was stunned. They must have lived different lives. How could she only remember the good times when there were so many bad ones? Had she ever realized the pain she had inflicted on him?
To be fair, they had been happy at first in Duluth when they met in college, but everything happened too quickly. The pressure of Vanessa's parents who didn't want them to live under the same roof before making it official had pushed them to marry too young, too soon.
Their wedding had been the social event of the year and soon they had moved into this very fancy apartment that Richard Hutchinson had bought for them, not far from the medical school he attended. Hutch was ecstatic. For the first time in his life, he felt some reprieve from the constant expectations. Although his dad still helped them financially, they could live their lives as they intended and for once, his father seemed genuinely proud of him and his choice of career.
Vanessa also enjoyed her newly found freedom and while studying Art and Literature at the nearby college, she had found a job as a secretary in the City Museum and often joked about having to support her husband.
She knew that one day she would only have to take care of their home, their kids and be the perfect hostess once Ken would have become a famous doctor. Back then, she had supported him in any of his choices and even helped ease the tensions that had always existed between his father and him. She knew how to talk to the older man and to coax him into doing whatever she wanted.
"Funny you don't remember the fights!" Hutch snapped.
"I do, Ken. And I know it was mostly my fault. I was so frustrated that we were growing apart and no longer sharing the same dreams that I lay it all on you… But in a weird way, I loved you back then and I still do now. Could you ever forgive me?"
Hutch sat back and closed his eyes. It couldn't be real. His head started to pound steadily. He took a deep breath to release the weight on his chest. When he reopened his eyes, he was surprised to feel no anger or hatred towards Vanessa.
She tried to reach for his hands, but he quickly removed them to hide under the table. She sadly smiled and added in an almost inaudible voice: "I want to be honest with you, I came back here because I need your help."
There it was! For a moment, he was about to fall into the trap. He straightened up on the chair as if bracing himself for a punch in the gut.
"I've lived a couple of years with Andrew Stradford, the owner of Maverick Inc., but decided to leave him a month ago. Since then, he wants me back by all means. I've tried to escape his henchmen, but they've always found me. I've got nowhere to go…"
"Why didn't you start with this instead of serving me with your I-still-love-you-tender-guy bullshit?" Hutch uttered wryly.
"It's no bullshit. I still love you, it's the truth. I wanted you to hear it before the rest." Vanessa defended.
"Well, you should have gone to the cops." Hutch replied, the hands he kept hidden under the table starting to shake nervously.
"I'm going to the cops, now." Vanessa said, plunging her steel blue eyes into her ex-husband's.
She could read pain, confusion and almost panic in them. If she could have rewritten the past, she would have spared him all that suffering. Until recently, she hadn't realized that he was the most decent man she had ever met. Yet, she couldn't help but hurt him. Maybe because, involuntarily, he gave her a hideous reflection of herself.
He was beautiful inside out and didn't even realize it. Instead, he constantly beat himself for not being able to do more for anyone. She hated his perfection and his sense of rightfulness and yet again, she was going to use it against him.
Are we always condemned to repeat the same mistakes? She wondered.
She saw Hutch hesitate a moment but knew he wouldn't turn down a woman in distress. The White Knight would strike again.
"Please, Ken?" Vanessa added.
"Okay, let's talk about it at my place. Do you have a suitcase?" Hutch asked as he stood up, still wondering what he had gotten himself into.
"No, just this travel bag." She smiled, remembering the gentleman he was. He picked up the bag at her feet and helped her with her fur coat.
The old beaten Ford Galaxy pulled to a stop on Ocean Avenue, in front of a two-story building that nested at its foot a French restaurant called "Chez Hélène". Hutch stepped out of the car, rounded the hood, and came to open the door to his ex-wife.
"It's up there!" he said, pointing at the apartment on the first floor of the building.
Venice Place, Vanessa read, and she couldn't help but smile. "It must be! You haven't changed, Ken!"
The apartment was small but cozy. It had been a long time since Vanessa had lived in this type of place. It was barely bigger than the hotel rooms she used to rent and even their newlyweds nest had been larger.
While Hutch busied himself in the kitchen warming up the leftovers of a stew and serving them a glass of wine, Vanessa walked around the room, running her fingers over the dresser, picking up a few dead leaves from the Dracaena and the Ficus. They seemed healthy and well cared for.
Same old, Ken, She thought.
There was not a single personal picture in the room as if the man who lived there had no past.
"I bet they hurt too much", Vanessa muttered, knowing Hutch well enough to read between the lines. She strummed the piano keys and stroked the neck of the guitar leaning against the wall.
She glanced at the man in the kitchen. Five years hadn't hurt him at all. A few lines here and there, longer hair curling at the nape of his neck and crowning his forehead, incredibly blond, full lips covering pearly white teeth and eyes bluer than a summer sky, Hutch looked gorgeous. She bitterly thought about all the lost opportunities since he had chosen a career in the force.
He was less puny than in college but still looked trim and athletic and the few additional pounds suited him well. The dark blue shirt he wore seemed tailor-made on him and the tight blue jeans enhanced his long legs. It only took him a few strides to cross the room and hand her a glass of wine.
"Okay, tell me what it's all about. Have you been physically threatened? And why would an important man like Andrew Stradford waste his time on domestic scenes?" Vanessa frowned which made Hutch smile at his indelicacy.
"I don't mean it that way..." He hurried to add.
"I know what you mean, Ken. I wasn't molested by Andy's men, but they made it clear that I had to follow them and go back to New York. They said Andy wanted to talk to me seriously and have some things legally cleared. I got scared and managed to escape while we were in Dallas Fort Worth."
"What do you mean legally cleared? And why were you in Dallas?" His cop's instincts told him there was more to the story than what was told.
"I don't know. We were supposed to get married this month. Andy hates when women resist him, and he believes money can buy anything. I guess he thinks if the wedding contract is generous enough, I could come back."
"He's not completely wrong when it comes to certain people." Hutch tried to remove the sting from his statement with a sad smile.
Vanessa's eyes fired at him.
"You still can't forgive, right? I guess I deserve it. I don't want to marry Andrew Stradford for all the money in the world. He can be very scary when he's mad and besides I'd like to live my life the way I want, not depending on any man…" Her voice trailed off and she added, almost inaudibly: "And I was about to have it all."
Hutch remained silent for a moment. Having his ex-wife standing right before him in his living room was the last thing he would have expected when he woke up this morning. He still couldn't control the physical attraction he felt for her.
"Did he ever hurt you? Threaten you in any way? If you have evidence or people who can testify, it could help. Tomorrow we'll go to Metro and file a complaint. Maybe we could ask for a restraining order against Andrew Stradford…"
Vanessa smiled.
"What are you smiling at?" Hutch asked candidly.
"We? It's been such a long time since I heard you talk about us. It's weird… and somehow pleasant. "
Hutch's eyes opened wide: "Stop it, Van! Stop playing games with me! You asked for my help and I'm trying to help. Don't see things that aren't there! Remember, you left me! I came back home after this awful rape case and you were gone. You ended our marriage with a note pinned on the fridge. God knows how hard I've tried to save it, but it was your decision..."
Hutch suddenly stopped; his eyes shone with emotion. He didn't mean to deliver his anger and pain like this, besides why was he still so frustrated? It was so long ago. Was it because he never had the opportunity to tell her? She had left and never returned or called for an explanation until that day. He had received the divorce papers several months later and that was it.
Vanessa stared at the floor, not daring to look at the man who now seemed so hurt.
He took a deep breath and, in a calmer tone, said:
"Look, you and I had a long day. Let's eat something and go to sleep. I'll take the couch."