The Forgotten Question
She sat down, taking her place beside him. He still quite literally looked up to her… she was always very tall in his memories, and he received some level of childlike comfort from knowing that she had not changed in this respect.
"Can I pour you some tea?" he asked her.
"Let me, Zuko," she smiled, gesturing to a cabinet. She opened it, filled with shelves of pots, cups, sachets, and burlap sacks of aging tea leaves, waiting to be one day brewed. She filled one of the pots softly with the water pump, before placing it over the fire to boil for a while. She returned her hands to be folded within her robes.
"Where were we?" she asked.
"You just finished telling me about the mother of faces," he said as she took her place closely next to her son.
"Right," she smiled, "After we finished, we came here, where I grew up as a little girl," she said, gesturing around her.
"I insisted on picking up work to help manage, but Ikem insisted that I didn't have to," she said, "So I decided I would stay at home and manage his household while he was away."
"He still works with the moving actors company right?" he asked. The tea steamed, whistling gently. She nodded, raising herself to take the kettle from its place above the fire. She set sachets of tea leaves within each cup and poured hot water for their brews to steep as they spoke.
"He became concerned that people would worry about us living together before being married, and so…" she paused, "I told him I wanted to marry him, and that I was ready."
"How long had you guys been back?" he asked wafting the scent of the tea over to where he sat. Ikem and Sokka worked together on the roof to repair the damage from before, insisting that they didn't need any help. Katara and Aang snuggled over in the corner by the fire as they spoke softly to one another.
"Oh it had been three months or so, as far as I recall anyway," she said. His face wore a thoughtful look. She observed him as he sat, turning his face to the right to observe the fire as it flickered and crackled in the hearth in the center of the room. Kiyi had fallen asleep in a separate room for the afternoon, being exhausted from having been anxiously up so late the night before when the events had transpired. They were alone for the quiet of the afternoon.
"Is everything alright?" she asked. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.
"Those first few months without you… I don't think I ever went to dinner. It was always just Azula and dad. I never ate… Those days were even harder than when I was sent away," he stated somberly.
"What do you mean?" she asked. His face turned to see her, wide-eye with the realization… she still didn't know.
"I was just… sent to live away from home for a while; this was a little while after you left," he said, trying to conceal the strangeness of the tone of his voice. She removed the sachets and stirred the tea within the cups gently, handing one to her son. Aang observed the conversation from the corner of the room, having stirred awake but moments ago. Katara's sweet head still draped over onto his shoulder.
"I'm going to step out to have a look around for a minute. I want to make sure Azula isn't still around," he said gently hugging his mother for a moment, "I'll be back after a short walk, I promise," he smiled.
"Stay safe, Zuko," she smiled to him. As he turned he exited into the now evening sun, walking down the block on which their house sat.
"Zuko!" a voice shouted behind him. He turned to see that Aang had left his sweetheart behind in pursuit of him. They stood at the corner of the house. Within the kitchen of the household, Ursa gently cleaned dishes from the prior evening in preparation for that dinner. She cracked open the window to hear her son's voice. She knew the voices of her children better than she had ever known any others. She smiled as she listened to the two, Aang and Zuko, converse.
"What's up?" Zuko asked. Aang gave a moment of pause.
"You didn't tell her," Aang responded. Zuko wore a somber countenance, looking down and away from Aang for a moment.
"She's not ready for that Aang, not yet," he said, shaking his head and turning to walk.
"But what if she finds out from someone else? Aren't you afraid she'll ask around?" Aang inquired.
"I am…" Zuko responded, "I don't even know if I'm ready to tell her," he said. Ursa's hand went to her chin and her mouth as she listened, donning a look of concern.
"She's going to know eventually, and she probably already wonders…" he paused for a moment.
"Wonders what?" Zuko pushed, turning to Aang. Aang opened his mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come out for a few moments.
"She doesn't know about the scar either… does she?" he asked. Zuko looked off again, away from Aang, observing the remainder of the village.
"No… and if I have anything to say about it…" he began, "… She never will Aang," he said.
Ursa stood with a worried look befallen upon her face. Ikem entered the kitchen, hugging her from behind, noting her distraught countenance.
"Is everything alright? Darling?" he asked her. She snapped out of her trance for the moment.
"Oh… yes, I'm sorry, I just got distracted by a noise outside for a moment," she said smiling.
Zuko turned away from Aang to continue patrolling the village, observing its people as the sun began to set.
He saw children playing in clearings and parks, smiling as they chased one another and danced together in little circles. A mother noted his presence, prompting their children indoors with a look of fear on her face of the stranger observing her children. Zuko's smile faded as he raised the hood of his robe, continuing his rounds, patrolling the neighborhood and all of its alleyways for his poor sister. He sighed as he returned to the sight of the door.
The sun had descended. He sat outside the doorway, gently lighting a lantern for him to hang.
"Dinners ready," said a sweet voice. He was startled for a moment, turning to see his mother smiling to him. He nodded, his facial expression still low.
"Is everything alright?" she asked, stopping him as he passed into the doorway. He turned to answer her.
"It is," he assured her, "I guess I just have a lot on my mind," he said… he had that tone of voice. Azula could hide deception, she was quite adept at this in fact, but Zuko could not.
"I love you," she said, embracing her son as he passed.
"I love you too mom," he said tightly embracing her in return. They held each other for a n extended period of time, as they had not done in so many years.
"So how is the roof coming along?" Katara asked.
"Oh quite nicely actually, your brother here is really quite useful with his hands," Ikem responded, patting Sokka on the back. Sokka wore a proud look on his face.
"Wow, how far along are you guys?" Aang asked.
"Oh, we just need to add a few more bolts here and there, but other than that we're pretty much done," Ikem responded.
"Wow! That was a lot of damage to get fixed so fast!" Katara said.
"What can I say, I fix stuff up pretty good," Sokka boasted to Katara who raised an eyebrow with a smirk.
"Like the latrine hut?" she poked.
"Hey, you said you wouldn't bring that up!" he pointed. The group laughed collectively, Zuko included. Kiyi had joined them, seating herself in her fathers lap at the table, rubbing her sleepy eyes and gently yawning. Zuko looked at her endearingly. Ursa observed Zuko with a thoughtful look as he listened to the conversations continue. He smiled as he ate that which had been prepared for him, his heart delightfully reminded of the taste of her cooking again.
Soon enough the room had simmered down for the evening. Appa and Momo rested outside within the local stables much to the fright of the other ostrich horses present. Aang and Katara returned to their previous spot sniggling in a warm embrace by the fire again. Kiyi had returned to her bed, joined by her father who slept in the same room. The room was dim except for the smoldering fire in the hearth that Ursa sat and observed with her hand over her mouth. Zuko sat outside, knowing Azula was still about and unhinged. He stood, holding the lantern to sweep the area again.
She rose then with determination emerging out the door, following after her son. She looked through all of the alleys and around the block but couldn't seem to locate him. She followed what she thought was his path but found herself beneath a lamplight in the courtyard.
"Mom?" his voice asked. Tears began to run down her face as she saw him. He ran to her, "Is everything okay? What-?" she took hold of his face in her hands, running the pad of her right thumb along the surface of his scarred skin.
"Tell me what happened," she urged him desperately, but quietly, "And don't you dare lie to me," she demanded.
"What… what do you-"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," she said. He paused, holding the lantern between them, dropping it to his side. She still held his face as he looked down.
"I-…" he began. His mouth remained open, but closed again for a lack of words, and there was a thick silence between them. He tried several times to speak but couldn't, and he didn't know why.
"When-… After… you left," he began again, "… Something happened," he said. She waited, listening to him speak in the darkness of the night, only broken by the light above them.
"I went to a war meeting with uncle," he said, "And I spoke when I shouldn't've." His voice trembled as he tried to look away, but his mother raised his look to her again.
"I was told I had to fight an agni kai against someone that I challenged by speaking out… I told them I wasn't afraid. I stood up for some soldiers that were being sent to their death," he resigned, "But when I showed up… I wasn't fighting…" he stopped.
"I wasn't-…"
"I-…" his emotions became apparent as tears ran from his scarred eye and he stirred physically, his voice breaking again.
"I… was fighting dad," he said. Her gaze lowered, the shadows descending over her eyes.
"… what… happened?" she whispered, her hands trembling.
"Mom-"
"Tell me." Zuko sniffled for a moment.
"I told him-…" he winced, seeing everything unfold before him again, seeing his father approach, the coarseness of his voice proclaiming the shame of his son.
"You will learn respect!" he heard, breaking down into sobs.
"He…- burned me" There was a thick silence around them as her hands shook, pulling him into her embraced as she wept. Zuko tightly wrapped his arms around her.
"He banished me and told me I could never come home until I captured and returned with the avatar," Zuko continued, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you… I didn't want you to blame yourself," he said.
"It was always my job to keep you safe… from him… that's what mothers do, Zuko" she said, broken between sobs, holding the sides of his face again, "He hurt my baby," she wept, drawing him in again and holding him tightly.
The silence of the night was impenetrable by anything but the winds that blew through the courtyard.