Another loop, another death.

Well, it depends on what she does on the current loop. If she antagonizes the light mage too little, it's exile. If she antagonizes the light mage too much, she can either be medium-rare Katarina Steak special, sword practice dummy, frozen mincemeat or art, flat bloody fillet or normal fillet, tornado's victim, and on the rare occasion, get killed using light or dark magic.

(Huh, did she get killed that many times?)

(Why, you surprised? You, after all, are unlovable. No one can love a monster like us.)

The last two is particularly rare since it requires VERY angry Maria Campbell instead of sad Maria Campbell. And that's is VERY Hard. Emphasis on Hard. She needs to follow certain steps to achieve that one. She needs to insult not Maria Campbell herself, but her mother instead, and she doesn't like insulting someone's mother. Even if the said mother's daughter is the one responsible for her suffering...anyway, it's hard to get Maria Campbell to kill her using the light magic. She doesn't know how Maria can kill her using magic that is supposed to heal, but yeah, it's happened. Her body exploded into many pieces when it ended. Probably because of overhealing?

(Something that heals can hurt too, huh..)

(Meh, she's not that great of a killer. Her skill is mediocre.)

The Dark Magic on is requiring Maria to interact (seduces) with Jeord, Keith, Alan, and Nicol at the same time. A very hard feat, even without her interference. And if she won't know if the Dark Magic is used in her murder and others, as she needs to die first. What's else? Oh! She also doesn't need to antagonize Maria that much. The Dark Magic is sometimes used in her trial, particularly on Jeord and her accusers, if she doesn't do anything for that loop. She can see pathetic miasma and sometimes a string of Darkness from Jeord's body. She can't see it before, as she doesn't have her Dark Magic yet. But as she acquired her Dark Magic, she can see the string clear as day. And fortunately, the effect is permanent and somehow carried over to the next loop. And surprise, surprise! The Dark Mage is Student Council President!

(Is he just like me? He crying...)

(He just like us too. Worthless monster. Hypocrite. But he is conflicted with himself. He still can be saved. Thus, unworthy of the Darkness.)

Eh, not that she cared. Anyway, what's she talking about? Ah yes, the end of this loop is approaching and she hasn't decided yet. Death? Or exile? But she got killed too many times here, and she felt a little bored in this country.

Well, exile it is then. More like a vacation for 10 years before she died. But beggar can't be chooser, right? But which country does she want to go to? She found out that manipulating Jeord or Royals is easy. She doesn't need fancy words to manipulate Jeord's action, just a lil' bit whispering and sometimes a pinch of Dark Magic, and bam! He falls onto her palm. She even makes him fall in love with her once in that one loop. And she even makes it past her 30's! But that life is a boring one, so, right after she gives birth to her son, she kills her son and then herself, surrounded by her parents, her brother, the Royal family, and her husband. She wonder why they all crying? Eh, probably because of something insignificant.

(Isn't it because they love me and my son?)

(No, no can love you. Everyone is a liar. Never trust them. Never trust anyone. You can trust only us.)

But choosing her exile destination? That gonna take weeks to decide. She had already been exiled to every country outside of Sorcier. Most of them are very boring. After being exiled soo, many times, her survival technique and instinct steadily increased and her lives in exile were usually very fun too. She learned many new cultures and traditions of the country she was exiled on. If she on exile, she can usually live mostly until her late 20's. And then she died. But she doesn't really like to be exiled. Too many hassles. Hmm, where to? Belzerg? Akitsutshima?

She got few beefs with the Mobile Fortress, Destroyer for ruining her exile (vacation), and also that panties-stealing asshole, Kazuma at Belzerg, specifically the town of Axel. At Melromarc and Cal Mira, the thing that makes her don't like it there is the supposed "Heroes". The only guys that aren't very annoying are the Shield Hero, Naofumi, and his party. The rest is just annoyance. Though their weapon's ability to absorb and copying other weapons are very useful. Shame the supposed Heroes is not very strong. Same with the Waves of Calamity and Wave of Mordor. Few poisoned drinks here and there, and the Heroes is dead. And she then got their weapons. Very overpowered if anyone asks her. It's just the users is the one lacking. In experience and common sense in general. At Sorcerer Kingdom, she had nothing to complain about. Heck, she is actually friends with both Sorcerer King and Gazef Stronoff on one of the loops. Though Ainz is undead, he is very kind. And his (secret)son, Pandora Ooal Gown is also very stylish. She had fun antagonizing Ainz's aide, Albedo and Shalltear. They both got very jealous of her and she ended up getting killed by a jealous virgin succubus and flatboard vampire. And promptly got personally revived by Ainz himself instead of restarting New Game+, a term she picked up from him. Although many people are afraid of Ainz, as he is an undead and very powerful one, she doesn't afraid of him. If someone dies, say for almost a thousand times, will they be afraid of death? The answer is no. And the same can be said for her. She was already desensitized from her countless death, crazy even.

(These people are really nice...)

(Kill them all. They trust us. Strike now. It's unfair.)

Akitsushima? Hmm...alright! She chooses Akitsushima as her exile destination this time. The sake, equivalent of wine in this country is really good. And not for lightweight. Once, she did tried to drink the entire bottle of sake. And once she opened her eyes the next morning, she gets pounded from behind by an unknown man, and after both her and he finished, the hangover hit her hard. But, at least it's better than accidentally eating a poisonous berry. Right after she reads about the said poisonous berry. She suffered for about almost 2 hours before she chose to drown herself in a nearby river. Miraculously, she survived. Oh, she also found a simple gold band with some form of elvish. She can read a bit of Elvish, in both Quenya and Sindarin dialect, as Lord Elrond, Mare, and Emilia teach her when she spends her time on Rivendell, Sorcerer Kingdom, and Lucgina respectively, but she can't read the engraving on the ring. Though soon after, she gets killed with a large rock bashed on her head, repeatedly.

Well, new loop, new adventure! Akitsushima, here I come!

(When this loop will be over?)

(It's will never end. It's our destiny. To be trapped in these loops. Always trapped in the cage of time. Fitting, as we are monsters. And a monster deserves to be in a cage.)

(But I'm a human...)

(Stop lying to yourself. You are a monster.)

(I guess..you're right. I'm a monster.)

No. W̴̛̖̤̺͔̭̗͒̽̂͘e̶̬̱̼͔͖̣̪̎'̶̡̻͉̰͙͊͒̓͗̕ ̷̮̝̆̓̉̃͝a̶͔̗͎͌̏̋͌͊̈́̕͜r̸̞̓̚e̷̢̞͚̎̇͂͛̏̆̀̑̾ ̷̟̻͍̘̜̘̭̱̼̟̈́̃̚͠r̸̻̍͌̈́̂͒͒́͝i̸̧̤̞͖̩̟͕̦͙̥̐g̶̖̙̅̐͘͜͝͝h̵̨͓̙͙̹͙̬̝̎̕͘t̸̘̱͖͉͍̪̹͕͔̜͌

Notes:

Italic represent her sane self
Bold represent her insanity and self-hatred.