"It's a pesky habit Frost, speaking so informally to your teammates."

Jack bit back an angry retort. He had never restricted the way he spoke with the Guardians, and he certainly didn't want to start now with his friends. Instead, he nodded.

"Yes ma'am."

"I trust I won't hear it again."

"Yes ma'am."

He could feel Rapunzel staring at him, but he walked away without looking back at her. He grabbed a bottle of water on his way out, which he fully intended to use to blast some ice with.

She wouldn't call out to him with their boss in the room, but he knew she wanted to. He silently thanked his boss for berating him in front of her, at least he wouldn't have to be the one to tell Merida and Hiccup that he wasn't allowed to call them by their first names anymore. Not when they went out for dinner on Saturday nights. Not even during their most intimate moments.

His chest tightened as he shut the door behind him. His bed creaked when he sat. He could do it. He could adjust, stop calling Rapunzel "Punzie", call Merida "Dunbroch", he was certain of it. Whatever was bothering him was deeper, and he couldn't quite place it. Maybe he wasn't happy about getting scolded in front of Rapunzel, though it's not like he could be any more vulnerable in front of his boss.

Light footsteps echoed in the hall. He sighed, shuffling to get under his covers. The last thing he wanted was to be around anybody, least of all his teammates. He turned his back to the door and shut his eyes. Maybe he could fall asleep right then and there. Nobody would bother him if he was asleep.

He knew it was Rapunzel as soon as she knocked, confident and firm. He was not getting out of this one easily.

The door whistled as it opened. Rapunzel stepped into his room.

"You awake?"

He focused his breathing, trying to keep it heavy enough to almost be a snore.

She sighed, "Jack."

Busted.

"You're not supposed to call me that."

"Our boss isn't here." She sat on the edge of his bed, placing a hand carefully on his shoulder. He turned, meeting her eyes as they searched him for any sign of what he was feeling.

"Merida is hosting cards tonight, you gonna come?"

"I don't think so, I'm pretty tired." He added some extra rasp to his voice in hopes to sell it. Instead, he sounded like he'd been crying.

Rapunzel studied him some more. "Alright. They're going to be worried, you know."

His heart twisted a little, but he didn't have the energy to go and pretend he was okay. "If they ask, tell them the truth. I'll be fine by morning, I just need to sleep it off."

She twisted a strand of her hair, a small smile breaking out. He assumed it was relief of some kind. It wasn't everyday Jack readily admitted he needed a break, let alone because of how he was feeling. She would probably keep smiling about it all night the same way she did after Hiccup finally admitted he missed Berk. The thought was enough to make Jack smile a little too.

"Okay, I'll let you sleep then, let me know if you need anything."

She shut the door behind her, and hummed until she was out of earshot. Jack touched the bottle of water with his toe, and watched as the condensation on the outside froze. He threw the covers off and lay flat on his back. If he was going to get any sleep, he was going to have to be cold.

"Haddock, you're falling behind."

"Sorry ma'am."

Jack watched as Hiccup picked up the pace. He wasn't quite sure what the boss was talking about, the Toothless and Hiccup combination was nothing more than a black streak as they circled the arena again.

"I swear to god," Merida groaned, "Hiccup doesn't need us, he's got a bloody dragon. We should be a team without him."

Jack flinched at the sound of a ruler hitting skin. He twisted to see Merida rubbing her arm, scowling at the boss.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"He is Haddock to you."

She rolled her eyes, "Ah yes, and you're my mom's ass. I've known him for longer than you've been with this agency and you want me to call him Haddock?"

"Clearly you need to be taught how to behave as professionals. I don't care how long you've known each other, or how long you've worked as a team. You are here for a reason."

"Good lord," Jack muttered.

"Did I hear something Frost?"

"I think hearing someone say your first name might be good for you. I bet you don't even remember what it's like to be treated like a person."

She turned to face him completely, "We don't get to be treated like people in this field. Intimacy is a luxury that heroes cannot afford. Keeping a healthy amount of distance from our colleagues is the only way to keep ourselves safe."

"Safe?" He sputtered, "What, you think if I call Merida by her name she's gonna go apeshit and kill me?"

"Where you stand right now, her death would destroy you. You are not safe."

He flinched, but only for a second, "I know more about death than you ever will."

"Jack?" Rapunzel stood in the doorframe, watching with wide eyes.

"Frost," the boss corrected.

"If you're so worried about us dying, train us to survive."

Her expression hardened, "You clearly do not understand the gravity of what you are doing, Frost. Citizen's cannot put their trust in someone who might save their teammates over the greater good."

"I never asked for this," he stepped back, pulling away as Merida tried to grab his arm.

"If you do not cooperate you will be seen as a threat. We will have no choice but to terminate it. I do not believe the rest of your team is in a place to deal with you."

"Whoa, whoa," Rapunzel stepped in, arms out as if she was trying to cease fire. "We don't have to go there. Ma'am, I'm so sorry, can we take a walk? As a team?"

"Haddock is training right now."

"I'm sure a break won't do him any harm."

He had to give her credit, she could descalate almost any situation. The boss blew once into her whistle, slicing through the air with a short, sharp sound.

"Take ten, and meet me in the interrogation hall. We're going to do a much needed group lesson."

Hiccup dismounted Toothless, giving him a few encouraging pats as the night fury dropped flat from exhaustion. It ticked Jack off even more. Poor guy was being overworked.

"What's-" he stopped, as though the tension set on his shoulders, "Did something happen? Are we being attacked?"

He looked to Jack, who tightened his cheeks to maintain a stoic expression. Hiccup then turned to the boss.

"Ten minutes, do not be late."

"She's mad," Merida whistled when the door shut.

"Are you okay?" Rapunzel's brows were creased, "That was a lot."
"She's got quite the nerve," he ran a hand through his hair.

Hiccup shifted, bending down to adjust his metal leg, "What happened?"

"She got mad because I called you Hiccup, bloody dictator, and then she yelled at Jack for," Merida paused, her eyes narrowing, "I'm not sure, what the fuck was that about?"

"She's been on my ass about proper team distance lately. I can't believe her, threatening to kill me?"

He laughed, he couldn't stop himself. She could try. It's nearly impossible to kill someone who's already dead.

"She did what?"

"Jack," Rapunzel reached to put a hand on his shoulder, he stepped away, perching on one of the plastic chairs that faced the field in the center of the stadium. "She's being unreasonably hard on you, I don't really understand why, but she doesn't speak for us, alright? Let's just do the whole last names thing when she's around, and when we get out of here we can go back to how things were before."

He longed to protest. Some deep-rooted emotion rose in the back of his throat, threatening to burst out into a series of words he wasn't ready to say. He didn't want to pull away from them, not even if it was temporary.

"Let's just get through today," Hiccup suggested, "Tomorrow we can look at getting tested, maybe get out of here on early excellence."

Jack forced himself to breathe, to smile, "Alright. Let's head to training then."

The bad feeling sank in when Hiccup and Jack were brought into the interrogation room. When they sat, metal grips held them firmly into place. He looked to Hiccup, who tested their give by pulling up. They did not budge.

Jack turned his attention back to the boss, who was seated on the other side of the table.

"Haddock, Frost, this kind of training is always the hardest for new recruits to grasp, but it's crucial to the safety of the people you are protecting."

She hit a button on the table, and Hiccup jolted in his seat, thrashing from just a moment before he completely froze.

"What the fuck?" Jack tried to stand, the metal cuffs digging into his skin.

"The outcome is effective, but harsh. We never do more than is needed for any single recruit. Since your team has been working together for so long, I doubted it would be necessary."

Hiccup's chair slid back, locking into place in the center of the room. The boss stood up, leaning against the table.

"Heroes are diligent when it comes to keeping information private during torture. I trust Haddock to keep agency secrets from being discovered for the greater good, even if it meant great amounts of pain. I trust you, Frost, to do the same. We're training for a different kind of torture today."

She grabbed a fistful of Hiccup's hair and yanked it back. He huffed out a breath, eyes shut tight. Jack tried to get out again.

"Hands off," he spat.

"These are the dangers of being close to your teammates Frost. If they threatened to hurt Haddock, would you give the opposing side the intel they were looking for?"

"Yes," he spoke too fast, before he had time to realize how poor of a decision it was.

She socked Hiccup square in the nose.

"Ow," he groaned, blood dripping down to his lip.

"You're a liability," she turned to face him, "Loyalty attributed to the wrong people is dangerous."

He stayed silent, swallowing back any emotion that spawned.

Keep it together.

"Why is this so hard for you to understand Frost?"

"For the love of god, stop calling me Frost. If you don't want to say my name, don't refer to me."

She covered a smirk with a frown, "This agency needs people who would allow their colleagues to die for it."

"Stop talking to me about death."

"Does the concept bother you?"

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hiccup straighten up, watching with intent eyes. Jack was too aware of it all. The swirl of emotion in his chest punched outward, reminding him just how close he was to breaking down. The boss was staring into his soul, waiting for him to collapse. He didn't intend to give in.

"No," he adjusted his posture, "It doesn't bother me."

She tutted, hitting the back of his head with a flat palm, "If it didn't bother you, you wouldn't have this problem. Why are you so bothered by the thought of your teammates dying?"

"I'm fucking human, you're telling me you never cared about someone you worked with?"

"You're not human Jack. You left your humanity behind when you gained those ice powers."

He stopped.

"Why does it bother you so much? You have shown no such problems when competing against other teams. What about your team is causing this dysfunction?"

"They're all I have," he muttered.

"Speak up Frost."

His voice broke, "They're all I have."

"Heroes don't get to have anything."

"Stop it," Hiccup spat out blood, his nose scrunching at the taste, "He's not going to change in one session, let us go and we can talk about it."

"You think talking about it is going to help him?" Her words were filled with bile, "You really think that if I let you all go and work it out as a team it'll promote a healthy distance? Frost has an attachment issue. If you help him through this it will be to the detriment of the team."

"It's really bold of you to assume I wouldn't do the same for him."

Her face flushed a deep shade of red, "Pardon me?"

"If Jack was being tortured, I would give up agency information to free him. My loyalty has always been to my team. I am only here because my team is."

A rush of warmth showered Jack with relief. It was almost enough to cause the slowly forming tears to fall. Almost.

"And frankly, for the sake of the team, I think we should be done for today."

"Frost," she corrected.

"Fuck off," Jack slumped, "He's right, we're not getting anywhere today."

She considered it, and hit the button on the table again. His restraints lifted.

He was on his feet within moments, spitting at the bosses feet on his way to make sure Hiccup wasn't hurt more than he was letting on. He wiped the blood from his face, before flashing Jack a smile.

"It's not broken," he insisted, "hurts like a bitch though."

Jack exhaled, cracking his knuckles, "Alright, I trust you'll let Rapunzel heal it?"

"Yeah, yeah," he dismissed, "Are you okay?"

His eyebrows lowered, "She didn't hurt me."

"She was trying to get into your head, I'm sorry, I should've spoken up sooner."

"I'm fine," Jack put a smile back onto his face, "I've been through worse."

His attempt at dispelling Hiccup's worry clearly failed, as the knot between his brows grew deeper. Jack tried to say something else, but Hiccup beat him to it.

"I don't know why I asked, we both know you're not."

He picked at the skin around his fingernail, "Please not here."

To his relief, he softened, "Alright, but later."

"Later."

Avoiding Rapunzel and Merida had been a hassle. The only reason he'd gotten past them upon leaving the interrogation room was because Rapunzel insisted on healing Hiccup's nose right then and there. Merida had been harder to lose. She'd chased him all the way to his room, but Jack was quick enough to get in and jam the door shut with skillfully placed ice. She cussed him out.

"You're fucking rich Jack, I can't believe you ran away from us. We are here to support you asshole, you're playing right into her hand by trying to deal with this on your own."

He sat still, his back against the outer wall. He listened, but the words weren't landing. He wasn't quite sure what they meant.

"For fucks sake just say something. You've got me worried sick. I don't know what's going on with you, but I want to help. We all do."

He didn't want their help, not on the surface level at least. If Merida opened that door and tried to comfort him…

He wasn't sure what would happen, but he didn't want it to.

His eyes stung with tears that could no longer be held in. He choked back a sob and cringed at the awful noise he made.

"Jack?" Merida sounded soft, at least compared to how she usually sounded.

Great.

He grabbed his staff from under his bed, wiping the tears from his eyes. With one quick blast, he shattered the window. As he leapt out, he heard Merida call out for him. He did not stop.

He kept running until his legs gave out. His arms caught him for only a moment, before his face hit the dirt. His hands balled into fists as he cried out. The tears rolling down his cheeks were unusually hot. It made the rest of him feel that much colder.

Now that he was alone, he let himself sob as loudly as his body demanded. He cried until his throat was sore, and when he had no tears left he punched the earth until his knuckles bled. Then, he cried some more. It was the awful, dry crying that only happens when you truly don't have any other way to release.

Why did it bother him so much?

Loneliness sprouted from the ground and tied him to the earth with vines that weighed more than he could carry. For a moment, he wondered if his reaction was irrationally large. Merida had said she wasn't sure why he was upset, did Jack even know himself? He knew it wasn't just about the names. It obviously wasn't just about the names, nobody feels this badly over names.

The moment ended as fast as it started, leaving him angry. The boss had hurt Hiccup. She hurt him. Of course he was going to be upset. She hurt him because Jack cared about him.

Was that what she was trying to teach him? When she was going on about how unsafe it was to be close to people, was she trying to tell him that people were going to hurt his teammates? Was that the pain she was warning him about?

He pushed it out of his mind. Uncomfortable heat piled onto his freezing skin as his chest ached for a proper lungful of air. No matter how hard he tried to keep his mind empty, or focused on anything other than the shitty last two days he'd had, he kept coming back to that question.

Why did it bother him so much?

He looked to the moon, wondering if somehow this was part of the plan. Why the Man in the Moon instructed him to come here was beyond him, but he knew he had something he needed to learn. Maybe it wasn't as literal as he thought.

Another pang of loneliness struck, and he wondered if he should head back to the agency. Surely Merida would have gone to find Rapunzel and Hiccup by now. He trusted them not to report his absence, but they could get in serious trouble if they were caught covering for him. After what the boss did to Hiccup, he wasn't sure he was willing to risk his friends getting into further trouble.

But he couldn't stand up. His legs had given out for a reason.

He lay with his back flat against the earth. For the first time since joining the guardians, he was invisible. If he lay there for long enough, nobody would remember he even existed. He didn't have to worry about not being believed in if nobody else existed in his world. That loneliness was his safety net. There was no further to fall.

But he wanted them to exist in his world. More than anything.

He craved it. He was an addict of their attention. Every touch from them was like electricity. Everytime one of them checked in on him was a jab of adrenaline. They quelled some deep-rooted hunger within him that he couldn't understand. The hits of dopamine were almost too much. They made him too happy, too at peace with himself, too comfortable with his state of existence.

He did not want to grow used to it. The highs were too good to mellow out into average. The lows were manageable. Habitually pushing his friends away, locking his door so he could remember that bitter, cold isolation, it was all part of keeping him on his toes. That was managing, right?

He couldn't lie to himself and say he was managing well at that moment. He'd definitely gone a little too far with the whole "isolation" thing. He didn't even know where he was. That was later Jack's problem though. Current Jack still couldn't stand, so he had no reason to worry about going anywhere.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he wasn't going about this the healthy way. Rapunzel would probably be on his ass about proper coping mechanisms for months after this. Maybe that wasn't a bad thing. It probably wasn't a bad thing. It was a later thing though. Right now, solitude was peaceful, and Jack was prepared to sit in it until something else made him come back to the rest of the world.

"At least he left a trail."

It just so happened that his poor excuse for peace was going to be interrupted far sooner than he'd hoped.

He heard Merida scoff, "Be bloody hard not to, he always leaves a trail when he's upset, those damn ice feet, of course he took off his shoes."

Jack sat up. Sure enough, he'd left a trail of solid ice. He was laying on it too. No wonder he was so cold.

Hiccup was the first to round the corner and step into the clearing that Jack had claimed as his own little universe.

"Hey," Jack waved.

Merida pushed past him, storming over to Jack and pulling him into an embrace so tight he could hardly breathe.

"Never do that again, okay? I literally had to break down your door."

He wheezed, closing his eyes as the hug loosened into something more comfortable.

"You're talking, right now." Rapunzel demanded, "No excuses, no claiming to be fine, what is going on?"

"I don't want to." He sounded like a child, but it was true. He really, really didn't want to.

"You said you would," Hiccup reminded him.

He opened his eyes again, taking in the details of his friends' faces. Merida pulled away, watching him with slightly narrowed eyes and a tight jaw. Hiccup had an expectant, patient tilt to his head, his mouth resting in a neutral position. Rapunzel, on the other hand, looked furious. Her cheeks glew an angry red.

He started with the things he knew he could say, "I would never let you die over agency secrets."

"We all know that," Merida scoffed, "You've definitely proven it."

"I would never let you die, like, at all."

The air changed with the beginnings of understanding.

"I can't lose you, I really can't."

"You won't," Rapunzel squatted to meet him at face level.

"No, you don't understand," he emphasised with a brisk shake of his head, "I can't lose you, I can't, if I did, I just, I can't, I can't. I can't go back to that I-"

"Whoa, breathe," Hiccup moved to sit beside him, "We're here, you know. You don't have to worry. We're here and we're safe."

"No, you're not," he said, "She was going on and on about how dangerous it is to be close to you, and I understand, because I know I would shatter if anything happened to any of you, but I just can't stop. I can't stay away, I need to be close to you because I can't be alone like that again."

Regret seeped into his pores as soon as he finished speaking, but so did acceptance. He'd said it. Whether he liked it or not he could not hide anymore. The decision had been made for him as soon as he'd opened his mouth.

"Jack." Rapunzel spoke with so much emotion it was almost overwhelming. Her empathy had always amazed him, but in this case he wished she didn't have to feel any of what he was feeling.

"We're gonna go back, get our things, and leave," Hiccup decided, "And we'll relax, maybe go on vacation together? Something low-stress."

"Maybe we could stay in Berk for a while," Merida suggested, "You owe me a dragon-ride."

Rapunzel clapped her hands together, "I want to watch a dragon race, can we watch a dragon race?"

If Jack had to describe what he was feeling with a colour, it would be a dark, warm peach. It was bittersweet in a way, watching his friends try to make him feel better. He liked some aspects, they were happy and it was infectious. Of course he wanted to spend some time in Berk.

But he was also so aware of how easily things could fall apart. Everything was so fragile.

"If we end up in Berk, we end up in Berk," Hiccup kept his eyes on Jack, "But we're not staying here."

"Thanks," Jack muttered, flashing a grin.

Hiccup pulled him into his side, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. With a sigh, Jack rested his head on his shoulder.

"We won't let you be alone like that again, okay? We can see you, we can feel you, we believe in you, and that's never going to change. You will always have us."

In a perfect world, he would've believed it. He would have nodded in agreement as Merida hugged him again from behind. He would have cried as Rapunzel joined the hug from the front. He would have been okay.

He wasn't yet, but he also knew it was possible to get there. One day, he would believe they were right. One day, he would not get the urge to run away whenever somebody mentioned their mortality.

That day was yet to come, but the promise of it was enough. Jack sank into his friends arms, and let his universe shrink until it was only them.