He's seen almost everything, been almost everyone someone could be. He's lived a thousand lives and died a thousand more deaths, most by his own hand even, but right now, that pales in comparison to the rage currently boiling inside him...at this blasted fly.
This winged creature, which he suspects was created by his grandfather in preamble somehow before his birth or somehow, played some significant role in the creation of the universe at large and he's somehow forgotten, has been flying around his head constantly and no matter what instrument he uses on the newest in a long line of worn-out desks in an even longer line of almost trashed home offices, it seems to be as immortal as he is.
He has terrific aim, he knows that, having studied under an archer for several years as a knight for some king he barely remembers now, so it is not him that is at fault here.
Even if the mark on his inner left arm reminds him constantly that it most truly is.
Cain, currently going under the guise of "Shane" (a modern version of his original which he found quite hilariously quaint in nature) stared down the creature with haunting eyes, his irises flicking with every movement of its little wings as he lined up his next and hopefully a final shot at taking him down once and for all. He was so close...just a little further…
"If you would answer the messages on your phone, maybe I wouldn't have to bother you with grievances so that you finally take notice."
Motherfucker. The fly flew off before he could even move, shoulders still hunched as he turned and scowled at the person before him. "Maybe if I /cared/ about you and everyone else I'm avoiding texting me Amenadiel, I would text you back. What do you want?"
"Still as stubborn as ever I see, Cain." Amenadiel just sighed. He and others had been used to Cain's antics since Father had bestowed his curse on him and most still held grudges for the sin he had committed so long ago. In human terms, he was the boy's uncle and apart from all the other angels, he seemed to be the only one (apart from both Lucifer and Aziraphale) that checked in on him for less than nefarious reasons.
(One of his aunts, Azrael, had to be banned from stepping foot on Earth for a long while after torturing him with multiple deaths over a 7 year period, many of which Cain repeated several times over without her assistance.)
"I just came to check on you, as always. You've been avoiding everyone, but that's nothing new. You even managed to get my brother a little red under the collar for a moment there."
"Well, "Luci" needs to cool his jets." He straightened up, placing the stack of cardboard he was going to use to squash Amenadiel's apparent "messenger". "I'm fine, just been busy doing my job. You know, blending in like a fucking human parasite supposed to do? Blue-balling myself because Pops has a sick sense of humour?"
"Father does as he feels is right and you must not forget that." Amenadiel started, but Cain...sorry, Shane, spun on his heel fast, glaring him down. "I've been on this fucking creation of his for 3000 years! I paid for my sins! I want to die!"
"I know you do, believe me. We've all seen." Cain in the last few decades that had passed since he had been cursed, had sounded like a broken record. He was far from the young boy that had taken his brother's life so long ago for nothing. He often wondered what had spurred one of the only grandsons of God to kill one of his own, but Cain had never disclosed why.
"You see, but you don't care!" Shane hit his fists against his kitchen island, before taking it in his hands and rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, chest shaking. "I just want to get the hell out of here. I'm done with Earth." His voice softened. "I want to see Mother and Father again. I want to apologize to Abel. I can't keep living this way. I cannot age, I cannot love, I cannot eat or drink, all I have doesn't matter later...I'm not human."
"I am aware, Cain." Amenadiel put a heavy hand on the taller man's shoulder, gripping it like it was a feather from one of his wings in case Cain would tear away in a blinding rage. "I cannot force Father's will, you know I have tried. Aziraphale has attempted also with Mother, but both of them together are in agreement that you must continue to wander alone."
"I know. Believe me, I'm fucking well aware of that." Shane's eyes were no longer on the darker-skinned angel and were solely focused on the window, its blinds filtering in some sunlight within the small space, a sign Amenadiel knew it was time to leave.
"I shall inform Lucifer that you are still in one piece and wish not to be bothered for the time being." Amenadiel conceded, sighing when he got no response back. "However, I would advise you, despite my best judgement, to go and visit Lucifer's little passion project sometime in the near future should I have to repeat this visit again. I'm sure if you continue to avoid him, he'll send a hunter as a jest and I'd rather not deal with that side of things."
"I'll visit them when I find time, hunters or no hunters." Shane grumbled, but he knew Amenadiel was correct. If he didn't go down to that hellhole (hah, hellhole!) and hang out with his other uncle and his lackey (more like a servant), he wouldn't hear the end of Amenadiel being at his apartment doorstep, or possibly others."Like I said, humans have jobs and sadly, I'm playing the part of a human, meaning I have to play the part of a working one."
"Of course, I'm just reminding you." Amenadiel's black wings unfolded and almost took up the apartment space. "Good evening, Cain." Then with a flap, Amenadiel was no longer corporeal and in his living room trying his best to act like he was sympathetic to Cain's cause.
He almost wanted to find the nearest knife and stab himself in the heart with it. He may actually seek out a hunter by himself at this rate, just to nip the craving of sweet release he constantly felt calling form in his soul, although neither would do much to help, other than cause him pain for a moment and then nothing while covering his clean apartment in tons of rosy red blood and making his belongings somehow valuable.
However, he didn't get a chance to even think about acting on either idea before the phone rang and seeing the caller ID, sighed to himself before putting on his fake, cheery voice. "Hey Ryan, buddy! How the hell are ya?"
"Look who's positive today? You'd think with all the work we've been cranking out that you'd be barely awake right now, huh?"
Shane laughed, before shaking his head. "Are you kidding? I'm exhausted. Buzzfeed's got us rocking for shillings, I'll tell you that."
"God, don't they? Listen, can you come over to my palace this afternoon before we go to the Lakers' game that I forced you to come to with me tonight? We need to go over next week's episode of Unsolved. The edits have just come in from the editing team in my e-mail."
"Sure thing little guy!" Shane pretended to add a note like he would have been pointing fingers at Ryan if he were in person. "Will be right over as soon as I lock up the Obmesiter."
"That cat's going to have a weird complex because of you, I just know it."
"Hey, Obi is a strange being. His powers are cosmic and vast, he has hookups, he has influences." If only he really knew just how much influence Obi had over them and others.
Shane couldn't help but chuckle, almost hearing Ryan's eyes rolling. "Haha, very funny. Just make sure you're here at like 3 pm or something, okay?"
"Sure, will do. Just load up the edits before I get there so we can blitz through them and get them over quickly so we can hitch an early dinner before watching a bunch of sweaty guys hog a ball for a couple hours."
"Ew, Shane." "Well I'm glad you're my best friend too, Ryan."
"I hate you." "Oh, I love you too! Bye Ryan!" Shane hung up before Ryan could speak again, laughing to himself. While Amenadiel's visit had put a downer on the day, speaking to Ryan had lit it back up again.
Ryan Bergara was just one of those humans that puzzled Shane to no end, only few and far between to do so over the course of the last 3000 years. He made Shane feel like the heart in his chest was still beating, even if nowadays he wasn't sure it still was.
They had met as interns vying for the same job at Buzzfeed, their company, but ended up being hired together. Eventually, they partnered up on one of Ryan's side projects and created a partnership on a web show covering criminal cases (even ones he had worked on once upon a time, both as a detective or as a lawyer, they still had yet to cover the...other side he'd been involved in once upon a time) and supernatural phenomena (of which he hated seeing on a semi-daily basis) that was rather popular.
The internet had always fascinated him, ever since its creation. It was just one of those things he felt deep down that Pops hadn't intended and humans had created on their own without even a divine sprinkling of his assistance. Sticking it to the big man up there, getting the last laugh, defying natural selection, as one would say given the chance.
(He'd laughed hard for hours when he'd thought of those, honestly, he'd pay to see the old man's face.)
He hoped he'd get that chance someday, to laugh in his grandfather's face at the misery he was currently causing him and maybe, just maybe, Abel might have forgiven him by the time he manages to somehow release himself from this hellish mortal coil he was destined to roam until it imploded and he was the only thing left standing. He hoped so, anyway.
For now, however, Cain has to be Shane and Shane has places to be as reminded by not only the car keys catching his eye, but the thought of seeing Ryan as well becoming more and more present in his mind. That doesn't mean he didn't have to like /being/ Shane.
Whistling to himself (sounds like Tchaikovsky, given how the old theatres used play his music all the time, along with other classical artists that Cain's slowly ended up listening to) he tries to straighten himself out enough to go out the door, his coat halfway on, before stopping and suddenly throwing his phone behind him.
The large object flew and suddenly hit the wall, but beneath it, Cain could see his uncle's "messenger" in several large, but itty bitty pieces, making him smile.
Score one for the humans. Sometimes they actually helped gods, despite their beliefs.