I'm pissed off. I'm a Crimson Demon: we have bad tempers so this is pretty normal. Except this time, I'm upset for a really good reason. It all started when my party defeated the Demon King. We were lauded as the heroes of Belzerg, received a handsome award, everything you would expect for such an important achievement. Yet the whole party knew, in the back of our minds, that the moment Kazuma landed that final blow he became betrothed to the princess of Belzerg, Iris.

Iris is a nice girl. She's kind, compassionate, thoughtful: she'd make a good queen. Sure, we've always had a rivalry over Kazuma, but she always backed off in the end. She knew her place. Kazuma sees her like a little sister character, but the line between that and romance is a bit blurry for him. She'll be quite attractive when she's older: with long blonde hair, deep blue eyes, and almost certainly a bigger bust than mine. Wait a minute, am I seriously getting jealous over a 12 year old? Yes. Yes, I am. I get quite jealous over Kazuma, to be honest. Kazuma says it's annoying, but I think deep down he appreciates my dedication.

So why am I so angry right now? Well, you see, today one of Iris' retainers, Lain, came to the mansion. None of us girls were home. I was off shopping for magic robes, Aqua was buying alcohol and Darkness was training. Kazuma was sleeping in, as he often does. When we got back, we discovered that Kazuma was missing, and found a letter on the doorstep.

"To the members of Satou Kazuma's party: As you are all aware, as the adventurer who slayed the Demon King, Kazuma is engaged to Belzerg Stylish Sword Iris. The King anticipated that this would cause an incident, and so ordered that Kazuma be brought to the Capital while you were otherwise occupied. The wedding is in one month. To the Demon King slayer's previous lover, a monthly alimony of one million eris will be provided. Please find the first payment enclosed. It saddens me to write to you under these circumstances. My apologies, Lain."

"One million! They think they can buy me off with chump change?!"

I'm currently fuming while Aqua and Darkness try to calm me down. It's not working very well.

"W-we can rescue him, right? He rescued me from an arranged marriage, it's only fair..."

"But he's legally engaged to her. All the countries around us are allies, they'd turn us over for sure."

"I'm a goddess, surely there's something I can do! I know, we'll, uh..."

Of course, Aqua's confidence is completely unfounded. She has no idea how to deal with this problem. Of course she doesn't, she's Aqua. I've waited long enough. There's only one answer.

"I'm gonna overthrow the government."

"What?!"

"M-Megumin, y-y-you can't, it's high treason! They'll e-execute you on sight!"

"Don't care. They took my man: I'm out for revenge. If I die trying, so be it."

Darkness had a horrified expression on her face.

"Megumin, think about what a war like that would - "

"Don't. Care."

Darkness doesn't have anything to say to that. Aqua has a contemplative look on her face. Maybe she's having an intelligent thought for once.

"Well, it's not like the Axis Cult are big supporters of the government..."

"Really?"

"In fact, the Axis Cult are among the most persecuted groups in Belzerg!"

Oh no, here she goes again.

"They have to pick a state religion, and they pick the Eris Cult?! Unbelievable! The Axis Cult believes in tolerance and freedom, letting people live as they please. The Eris Cult are just a bunch of no-good prudes."

"At least they don't have a bunch of lolicons for priests."

"Hey! You take that back!"

"But it's true! Or are you going to denounce your own teachings about lolicon acceptance? I wonder..."

"Do you want my help or not?!"

Huh? Aqua was stupid, but surely she wasn't that stupid. Why would she ever agree to this? It was basically a suicide mission.

"Wait, why are you so eager to help? I'm getting suspicious."

Aqua's giving me an indignant look.

"They've gone too far this time! As a goddess, I believe that love is one of the most important things in this world. For a government to claim to have a religion and do this… it's a crime! Even Eris, the prude that she is, believes in love. This is a crime against love! It is unacceptable!"

"Aqua..."

"And their taxes on the Axis Church are too high!"

"I knew it!"

"You know, I was telling the truth..."

"Sure."

"Goddesses don't lie."

I roll my eyes. Bull. Shit. It was definitely about the tax money. Well, you know what they say: you can't always choose your allies.

"Okay. Thanks, Aqua. I'll get you a lot of alcohol, I promise."

"No need. This revolution will pay for itself with all that tax - I mean, this is what friends are for, right?"

Aqua's motives are highly suspect. Greedy goddess. Darkness, though, looks like she's having a hard time deciding what to do.

"I-If I help you, and get caught, they'll t-t-torture m-me… Oh! There's no way I could! It's too dangerous! I might get hurt..."

She's hugging her chest imagining all the things the government would do to a band of rebels.

"Darkness… cut the crap."

"I'm in… I'll protect my party no matter what! Even if I end up getting tortured!"

This sick, disgusting, perverted girl. What a waste of beauty. But hey, I can use all the help I can get.

"Okay, Darkness, welcome to the team! Aqua, you go to Alcanretia to recruit the Axis Cult; I'll go to the Crimson Demon Village, and Darkness can go buy as much manatite as we can afford."

"M-manatite?"

"For my explosions, of course. There's not gonna be much left of the castle when we're done."

Darkness looks a bit disturbed at just how violent this revolution is gonna get. But she doesn't look like she's changing her mind.

"Well, an occasion like this demands a toast!"

Aqua brought out a bottle of wine, and some fruit juice for me.

"Hey! I'm old enough to drink, you know!"

"Hah. That's funny."

I'll accept defeat on this one. I am quite small, and the last time I drank I discovered my tolerance to indeed be abysmal. I'm a total lightweight.

"For Kazuma!"

"For justice!"

"For liberty!"

"Money for the Axis Cult! I mean, death to tyranny!"

And with that, we drink. To the revolution!

I've been kidnapped. My name is Satou Kazuma. I am the adventurer who slayed the Demon King and I've been kidnapped by the royal family. You see, I have to marry Iris. In one month. I pray that Megumin doesn't do anything stupid. But even with the favor I have with the goddess of good fortune, this prayer is impossible to heed. Megumin will do something rash. The question is what.

"Onii-chan!"

Iris comes bursting into my room. She's like my cute little sister. Except now she's my fiancé. I'm not a lolicon, I didn't set up this marriage! She comes up to my bed where I'm sitting and plops down next to me. I put my arm around her shoulder. Did I mention that she's cute?

"What is it, Iris?"

She looks at me with a worried expression.

"Are you still upset about the marriage?"

"Yeah… I know it's not your fault."

"I told dad he didn't have to… this was not very epic of him. Cringe."

I feel a smile creeping onto my face. Iris talking in slang is one of my proudest achievements.

"Do you think we could convince him?"

"Nah. Maybe Jaris will be a gamer and help us."

"That would be lit!"

"But, onii-chan… what if we can't?"

Oh, man.

"Well… I don't know. Megumin's gonna cry an ocean and..."

"I… wouldn't mind, onii-chan..."

Woah. Hold up. FBI-kun, I swear. I didn't do it! I'm innocent…

"I'm not dense, you know. I know how you feel about me."

Iris is blushing furiously now.

"B-but I don't want Boss to get mad at me..."

"Iris, Megumin isn't mad at you. I promise. She knows you didn't ask for this. You're doing the right thing, Iris, even though it's hard… you'd be a good queen. And... this is just our little secret: you're in second place. Darkness is miles behind you."

"Onii-chan… I wouldn't mind being wife #2."

I'm not morally opposed to polygamy: I just know that I'd end up vaporized if I tried it. Megumin is enough.

"Megumin would murder me. You'll find someone, I promise. Lots of fish in the sea."

"If only Father would let me fish..."

I just arrived in Alcanretia. As the goddess Aqua herself, surely they'll heed my call for rebellion.

"Followers of the Axis faith! Heed the words of the divine!"

"Aqua-sama! Aqua-sama!"

A small crowd has formed in the town square. I deserve more than a small crowd.

"Bring forth the townspeople! I have divine knowledge to impart!"

Soon the whole city was gathered.

"My followers! The evils of the kingdom have become too much to bear! The time is upon us for revolution! The government discriminates against us! They chose the wrong religion! And they brand us as perverts and sinners. Nothing could be further from the truth! They are just prudes! Eris pads her chest! What business does a country have worshipping a goddess who pads? They collect taxes on the Axis Church, yet the nobles get away with fraud! And the worst offense? They have abducted the man who saved their kingdom from the Demon King and forced him to marry their princess. Think of poor Megumin! This government dares to interfere with the loving of lolis! It's sick, I tell you! This is tyranny!"

The crowd is in an uproar.

"Death to the Crown!"

"For love!"

"For lolis!"

The speech went well: freedom is in the air. I gather a collection of talented magic users to bring back to Axel: they will help plan this holy war. Later I'll come back for reinforcements. The days of Eris supremacy are numbered: I can feel it.

"Powerful mages of the Crimson Demon Clan! Heed my call!"

"Megumin, what the hell are you doing?"

"Shut up, Yunyun. Does anyone here know voice amplification magic?"

"Voice Amplify!"

Sometimes spells have underwhelming names.

"My fellow Demons! I have terrible news to deliver! My lover, the fabled Demon King-slayer Satou Kazuma, has been abducted by the government!"

Gasps spread through the crowd. I continue.

"This is inexcusable! It is a crime! What will they take next, my magic? Your magic? We have rights, damn it! We have a right to use our magic as we so please, and we have a right to love our magic and to cherish it! And not just our magic! Us Demons have big hearts: we won't let tyrants take the things we love! Not our magic, not our friends, not our lovers. Do you understand the evil that lurks in the Capital?"

I can hear faint murmurs as the villagers discuss what I've said.

"Yeah… they restrict the teaching of dark magic!"

"They place heavy taxes on manatite!"

"But most importantly..."

My dear mother is speaking. Good. A sympathetic voice will stir up the crowd.

"They hurt my child. One Crimson Demon harmed: the whole village up in arms!"

That's right, mom!

"Then what say you, comrades? To fight this evil, we have but one choice! Revolution! Their mages are weak and in small numbers! We can defeat them, and with the help of the Axis Cult, we will! The Axis religion may be a nuisance, but they are our ally in this fight! And with my explosion magic, the castle will be reduced to rubble!"

"Yeah!"

"For freedom!"

"For Megumin!"

With my comrades thoroughly roused to arms, I pick a few of the village's top mages to come back with me to Axel. Yunyun was still hesitant, but I managed to convince her. We'll need some good strategists, so I took Yunyun's father as well. The whole village would come the day of the battle though: it'll truly be a day for the history books.

The council is about to meet. 'The council' is what I call the elite group of Crimson Demons and Axis Cultists we've gathered for war planning purposes. Aqua's out with Darkness getting the shipment of manatite, one billion eris worth. I plan to use every last stone.

"Megumin! Open the door, this bag's really heavy!"

Darkness and Aqua come inside carrying a large bag of manatite. I can feel my eyes glowing just looking at it.

"As the goddess in attendance, I call the session to order!"

Aqua is proving to be an enthusiastic member of the resistance. She must really hate paying taxes.

"We've devised a plan. Megumin and the Axis priests will climb up onto this hill..."

Cecily pulls out a map of the Capital.

"Where we will protect our precious Megumin from threats."

"Cecily..."

I'm not really happy about this pervert being on our side, but at least she's motivated.

"Megumin will attack the castle with Explosion, and we'll cast curses on any soldiers who come too close."

"I'll go, too."

Yunyun has grown more sympathetic to the cause over the past week.

"Ranged offensive magic will be more effective than curses."

"Good thinking, daughter! And the rest of the Crimson Demons will come in on your signal, Megumin. Depending on how long the King takes to surrender."

"Well, it seems like we have a plan! Session adjourned!"

I end up stopping the meeting early: turns out that our coalition is kind of overpowered. Our strategy is dead simple, but even so, the kingdom doesn't have the resources to withstand our firepower.

It's the day of the battle. Rumors had started to spread in Axel of political discontent, so we couldn't delay it any further. The wedding is one week away. Or it would be, if I didn't have anything to say about it.

"Megumin, you ready?!"

"As ready as I'll get."

I can cast Explosion without chanting, so I should be able to rapid-fire. Well, here goes…

"EXPLOSION! EXPLOSION! EXPLOSION! ..."

The barrier is strong, but not as strong as the Demon King's. This'll be easy. The barrier makes a low groaning noise, like a tree bending under its weight before it falls. The sound shakes the ground around me, but not as much as my explosions. I look at the barrier and see cracks form around it. Sirens blare as the Capital enters lockdown.

"The Capital is under attack! All forces focus on the hill in the northeast!"

Shit. That was quicker than we expected. I focus on the barrier. Just a bit more… the barrier shatters. The force of so much magical energy being freed nearly knocks me off my feet.

"Which tower is Kazuma in?!"

"The east!"

"EXPLOSION, EXPLOSION, EXPLOSION!"

The other three towers crumble. Hah. Take that, Belzerg!

"Megumin, they're here!"

I can see a group of soldiers heading our way.

"Yunyun, I've got this… Surrender now, or face my wrath!"

"You brat! You'll pay for - "

"EXPLOSION!"

And… they're gone.

"Megumin, your adventurer card!"

It's glowing. Yunyun pulls it out.

"Eek! You just gained 10 levels!"

"Must've been high leveled soldiers."

"Megumin, you just killed dozens of people! What's wrong with you?!"

"They're enemies. They sealed their fate when they took up arms for this rotten country."

Yunyun looks shell shocked. Is it really so wrong to relish the feeling of vanquishing one's enemies? Yunyun must just not be devoted to the cause.

More groups of soldiers come our way. I dispose of them in the same way, taking potshots at the castle when I can. I feel my nose start to bleed.

"Onii-chan! The castle's under attack!"

Iris grabs onto me as we rush out the tower, through the courtyard and out the gate. I'm panting and breathing heavily. Among a sea of explosions, three hit the castle's towers, leaving only the one we just left standing. They collapse to rubble with a deafening thud.

"What's going on?!"

"I don't know! Onii-chan!"

I hug her tightly. I thought life was supposed to be safe after the Demon King…

"Your Highness, news from the battlefield! The attack is being led by Megumin."

Fuck. I knew she'd do something, but this is a bit extreme, don't you think?

"The army has taken heavy losses. Half our soldiers are dead!"

This is bad news. Well, she's probably here to free me… but I don't really support her methods. Suddenly I hear her voice, amplified with magic.

"To the citizens of Belzerg and the soldiers who claim to protect them! This government has committed great evils! The courts are corrupt, the people are taxed while the rich hide! And they stole my boyfriend, damn it! Your Highness, the King… surrender now and no one else gets hurt!"

"We don't negotiate with terrorists!"

"EXPLOSION! EXPLOSION! EXPLOSION! ..."

Advisors rush to the King's side. Iris and I make our way, too.

"We need to surrender."

"Preposterous! Why have we sustained such heavy losses?!"

"Megumin… is solely responsible for the deaths. They were all just… vaporized."

Oh my god. This is not happening. The girl I love did not just kill thousands of soldiers, with families… Iris pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Onii-chan, I'm sorry..."

"This… sniff, isn't your fault..."

The King turned to face us.

"It pains me, but we need to eliminate her."

"No! Father, please!"

"Iris..."

I feel like my heart's about to break in two.

"There's nothing we can do… Megumin... chose this path."

"Onii-chan!"

We sob as the battle rages on, knowing full well the fate of the Crimson Demon girl who came here to save me. I feel empty inside, knowing that this battle has cost so many lives already, that Megumin will die… for nothing! Damn this cruel world!

"Surrender now, you fool!"

I've become numb to the number of soldiers I've killed so far. I only did it because I had to. Why is the King so stubborn?!

"Megumin, Iris and Kazuma have left the castle."

"Alright. Begin Operation Delta."

Yunyun lets off a flare to signal the Crimson Demons.

"You thought that was all we had? Think again! Demon Squad, fire!"

The word fire was chosen carefully, you see. First, the mages use Create Oil to douse the castle. With all the manatite they had available, the streams could be kept flowing. Next, Fireball ignites the oil. With a brilliant glow, streams of fire begin to cover the castle.

"Surrender! You have nothing left!"

I use my explosion magic to obliterate what remains of the castle. The pile of rubble is filled with pieces of wood from the interior. It burns easily, sending a pillar of smoke into the air.

"We surrender!"

So the King has finally regained his wits, huh? The flamethrowers stop and Aqua uses Create Water to douse the flames.

"We will list our demands! Firstly, Satou Kazuma will be returned to our custody."

I look over at Aqua. We've actually gone over this quite a bit.

"The royal family and nobility will be stripped of all power, and a parliament, elected by the people, will replace it."

Aqua states the next demand.

"The Axis faith will be established as the state religion!"

I whisper in her ear. She groans but acquiesces.

"... alongside the Eris faith. Neither church will pay taxes. The use of magic will be unrestricted, and the high tax placed on manatite removed..."

And so on, and so forth. Our list of demands was actually quite long. But we eventually finished. Off in the distance, I can see Kazuma and Iris running towards me.

"Megumin!"

It's been a long time since I've seen her. She looks at me with a warm smile, but I can't return it. Not on the battlefield like this. I pause to catch my breath. Iris is standing beside me.

"You toppled the fucking government?! Are you insane! Do you know how many people you just killed?!"

She pulls out her adventurer card.

"Five thousand, nine hundred and seven. I begged them to surrender, to consider that they were outmatched, but the King refused. The deaths… they bother me, too. I'm sorry it had to be like this."

He noticed his other party members. What were they doing here?

"Aqua? Darkness? Are you guys nuts? You know what the sentence is for high treason?!"

His party members responded in sync.

"Instant death."

"Look, I'm a goddess, alright? Holy wars don't faze me. The Axis faith has been persecuted for far too long! And interfering with loli love? Unforgivable."

"Hey!"

Megumin and I were simultaneously outraged at the useless goddess. Well, useless for everything except violent political revolution. Apparently she was good at that.

"I… I-I'm just here to support my party. I was worried they'd capture and torture - "

"Enough, Darkness! Let's go home… I'm gonna need a nice long bath before dealing with the headache you just caused. Iris, you can come if you want."

"I… have incredibly mixed feelings about this. But… I'll go with onii-chan! Boss isn't an enemy anymore."

"Alright, Teleport!"

The next few days were stressful to say the least. Cecily, Yunyun and her father handled the transfer of power to the new government. Elroad sent an ambassador to the conference as a show of support. Cecily, alongside the head priest of Axel's Eris Church, is now serving as interim prime minister until elections can be held.

Kazuma… was not thrilled about the war. But he's coming to terms with it. I am too, to be honest. I was blinded by passion in the fight, by a desire to win, but now the full weight of the lives I claimed is clear. Do I have regrets? Of course. But blame also lies with the monarchy for kidnapping him in the first place. That was wholly unnecessary. I don't regret what I did to Belzerg: I regret the casualties.

"Megumin?"

"Yeah?"

Kazuma is sitting next to me on the couch. He places an arm on my shoulder.

"When you decided to go to war… did you feel like you had no other choice?"

"I did. What else could I have done, other than let you marry Iris? ... Kazuma? You think we'll ever go back to just being… us?"

"We've gone through a lot together, but this war… was different. This war was about us. I'm... not sure if I can live with that."

Do I regret the war? I didn't have any other choice, so I suppose I don't. But the very thing that was meant to bring us together ended up pulling us apart.

"Megumin… I still love you. No amount of bloodshed would change that. But… the guilt… Megumin, sometimes I wonder if it'll ever get better."

This is the hardest thing our relationship has ever been through. I've killed for him. That's a high price to pay for love. Maybe we'll make it through this. Maybe we won't. Maybe he'll end up marrying Iris anyway. That possibility hurt the most. They say all is good in love and war. How naive.