CHEERS: Last Call
Based on the TV Sitcom Created by
Glen Charles, Les Charles, and James Burrows
Teleplay by TheTexasPowerhouse
Setting:
Late Spring, 2020
Boston, MA
One month after the events depicted in Cheers: Fallout (Parts 1 & 2)
[Fade from Black. The Cheers sign is seen with Diane narrating in the background.]
Diane: Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience.
[Inside the bar, Sam, in a plaid shirt and brown pants, emerges from the cellar with a hairnet on and a clipboard with forms and papers in his hand. He doesn't seem to like what he sees. Diane, blue dress with black trim, is behind the bar, looking around and counting some things.]
Sam: It's not looking good, honey. Down to two kegs and just a few cases.
Diane: No better here. The cocktail juices are practically non-existent. Also, there's no Vermouth in sight at all, not even in the office.
Sam: Aw, damn this virus.
Diane: I know, I know, darling. What can we do?
Sam: Well, uh….we can, uh….
Diane: We're not going back to Texas, are we?
Sam: No! No, no, no. I talked to a guy from Nashville yesterday. He can hook us up.
Diane: Tennessee!? My God, Sam! My tibia nearly killed me on our last road trip.
Sam: Well, I thought of that, too. I thought I would go by myself this time while you take care of things here.
Diane: Me? Sam, I cannot carry a full keg of beer up from the cellar by myself.
Sam: Woody can do it.
Diane: Woody?
Sam: And his father.
[Rebecca and Don enter the bar. Rebecca is in a purple button-down shirt and white denim jeans. Don is in a blue button-down shirt and blue jeans.]
Rebecca: Sam….Diane.
Don: Hey.
Diane: Rebecca, Don….nice to see you.
Sam: Hey, Becky, Don. What's up?
Rebecca: Well, ever since Don and I got remarried, I'm thinking that we need to maximize the profit as best we can.
[A cell phone rings on the bar. Diane answers it.]
Diane: Hello. Cheers.
Sam: Well, yeah, of course. We have to make the money. So, how can we do that?
Rebecca: For starters, call Norm's tab.
Sam: Norm?
Don: Hey, Sam. She showed me the numbers last night. You could buy two brand new Buicks with his tab. With all the upgrades, too.
[Diane's cheerful face goes sober as the conversation continues.]
Sam: Aw, man. Norm-
Rebecca: DON'T do that, Sam. This bar is steadily going into bankruptcy, and the pandemic restrictions are making it worse. You either get that no-good slob to pay up, or we will have to take him to court.
[Diane, in tears, puts down the phone.]
Diane: It's too late.
[Sam, Rebecca and Don look at Diane.]
Sam: Wha-? Honey…?
Rebecca: What do you mean "too late"?
[Diane starts to cry.]
Diane: Norm died.
[Sam starts tearing up, and goes to hug his wife across the bar.]
Sam: Di—Died? Oh, no. No, no, no…..NO! NO!
[Diane and Sam sob as Don looks at Rebecca, both exchanging awkward glances. Rebecca looks at her paperwork, and starts to tear up.]
Rebecca: I hope I don't go to Hell for this.
Don: Come here.
[Don consoles his wife.]
[We hear a lone bell softly tolling in the distance as the Opening Credits roll. Upon the conclusion of the Opening Credits, the bell chimes once more and then fades away.]
[We see panning shots of parks populated with trees and beautiful backgrounds with soft breezes. Then, we see a funeral home in downtown Boston. We then hear Cliff sobbing.]
[Inside the funeral home, we see a chapel with a good sized urn on a podium in the middle of the altar. To the left of the urn is a picture of Norm, along with the words, "In Loving Memory of Hillary Norman Peterson 1948 - 2020". In the pews, we see Sam, Diane, Rebecca, Don, Woody and Cliff, all in black funeral wear. Cliff is sobbing, as is Woody. Everyone else is looking on in misery.]
Cliff: (sobbing) Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Normie….Normie…..
Woody: (sobbing) I know….I know….It hurts.
[Rebecca is teary-eyed as she talks to Don.]
Rebecca: (choked) My God….why? Why did I choose the heartless business of Business?
Don: What's that, honey?
Rebecca: (choked) My last thought about Norm was about the money he owed us. He spent the last month in quarantine and hospice care after his wife died, and now, I cannot take back the last thing I said to him.
Woody: (sobbing) What was that?
Rebecca: (sobbing) PAY YOUR TAB!
[Rebecca sobs loudly, getting the attention of Cliff. Sam and Diane also look on as Don cradles his wife.]
Don: Honey, honey, come here. Come here. Calm down. Please calm down.
Sam: Why now? Why did he have to go now?
Diane: We all have our time…you know as well as I how precious it is.
Sam: Yeah, but man…the bar just won't be the same without him there.
[Cliff sobs louder.]
Cliff: (sobbing) NOOOOOOOO! No, no, no, no! My best friend is gone! Who am I gonna talk to now?
[Rebecca silences her sobbing and looks up at the same time Sam and Diane look at each other. All of them look around, seeing that no one else is in the chapel. Upon realization, they all start to sniffle again.]
Diane: My, God. It's almost deserted in here. Norm doesn't have a family?
Sam: He told me that we were his only family…..he wasn't lying.
[A door opens, and a Preacher in a business suit emerges with his Bible. He approaches the podium.]
Preacher: Afternoon, everyone.
Sam, Woody, Cliff, Rebecca: NORM!
Diane: Norman!
[The Preacher and Don are taken back by the response, even as the gang is sniffling.]
Don: What's that about?
Sam: It's Norm. We'd always greet him like that when he comes to the bar.
Don: Now, that's a tribute.
Preacher: A very nice tribute, indeed. Most holy and gracious Father, we have gathered here today to celebrate the life of Norman Peterson, beloved husband and a great friend to many. He was loved dearly, and he will be missed dearly. But, we know he is with you and your Saints in your Heavenly Kingdom. And we all know that Norman is happy to be reunited with his beloved Vera in your Kingdom.
[The Cheers gang, except Don, cringe quietly at the last statement. The Preacher doesn't notice this.]
Preacher: He served his country with honor and valor…
[The image fades away to a few moments later, in the daytime, we see an exterior shot of the Cheers Bar with Melville's. A few cars roll off in front of the camera.]
[Inside the Bar, we see Sam, Diane, Rebecca, Don, Woody and Cliff inside, still in their funeral attire. Sam and Diane are holding close to each other behind the bar near Norm's spot. Woody is behind the Bar, next to Sam. Cliff is sitting next to Norm's spot, red-eyed. Rebecca and Don are sitting next to each other on the back side of the Bar.]
Sam: I still can't believe it. It just….feels so cold in here.
Woody: The furnace isn't on, Sam.
Sam: I know, Woody. I know. Look at it. The corner stool. It just….won't feel right without him.
Diane: I know.
[Cliff plants his face into the bar, sobbing.]
Cliff: (sobbing) Oh, Normie…Normie…..
Sam: Let's have a round…on me….
Woody: Sure, Sam.
Diane: I like that. He'd love it.
[Woody helps with the beers. Diane brings up two wine glasses.]
Rebecca: I know he would….
Don: Sounds good.
Cliff: (sobbing) Normie…..
[Sam and Woody deliver the beers to the men while Diane hands Rebecca a glass of white wine. The other white wine is for her. Sam makes the toast while Cliff still sobs.]
Sam: Norm, you know we love you. You never left us, and you never will. This one's for you, buddy.
[Everyone raises their glass to Heaven and take a drink. Cliff sobs as he raises his head and his mug to Heaven and sips his beer.]
Diane: Here, here.
Woody: Cheers, Mister Peterson.
Rebecca: To Norm.
Don: Godspeed.
Cliff: (sobbing) Normie…..
[After her drink, Diane ponders.]
Diane: It's moments like this that makes me think….
Rebecca: About life….how precious it is…
Diane: Well, yes. Yes, it does. How we need to take care of ourselves, our loved ones….how we must make every moment matter. And, no matter how much we think we've done, we can always do more….
Rebecca: How come no one ever listens to you, Diane?
Diane: Because no one wanted to.
Woody: I was listening to you. How couldn't I?
Rebecca: But seriously, Diane. Those were amazing words.
Don: Yeah, they were. I mean, I wish I heard those words when you were telling me about how to be responsible with our money.
Rebecca: And look where that led us….divorce, loneliness, bitterness….
Don: Greed, fame….broke, confusion…..
Rebecca: Man, why do numbskulls always learn the hard way?
Don: Maybe that's the only way numbskulls can learn….the hard way. I know you've heard me say this before, but I am sorry.
Rebecca: For what?
Don: For all the time we lost.
Rebecca: That's what makes moments like right now so much more precious.
[Don smiles as he kisses his wife.]
Diane: Beautiful.
Sam: Amen.
[Sam and Diane kiss. Seeing this, Woody excuses himself from the Bar while grabbing his cell phone out of his pocket.]
Woody: Excuse me, Sam. I need to call Kelly.
[Suddenly, the door opens, and a middle-aged man in a business suit and a black face-mask on, Val, enters. He also has a black briefcase in hand.]
Val: Excuse me.
Woody: Hey, we're closed. This is a private get-together.
Val: I'm Val Bredden, I'm an attorney.
Woody: I'm Woody Boyd, I'm a bartender. Excuse me….
[Woody steps outside as the door closes. Rebecca and Sam approach Val.]
Rebecca: Sorry, but we don't need a lawyer. We're all still in mourning.
Val: I know. I represent Norman Peterson.
Sam: Norm? I didn't know he had a lawyer.
Val: Actually, it was his wife, Vera, who paid for my services.
Sam: What services?
[Val shows his briefcase.]
Val: His last will and testament.
Rebecca: His will?
Val: Let me read the will aloud. Can I use a table to open my-
Sam: Oh, sure. Sure, here's the bar.
[Val sets his briefcase on the bar, opens it just to get a formal letter out and close it back, not really showing much else within the briefcase.]
Val: I can tell you that about four years ago, Norm came to me with his intentions. They are inscribed on this letter. I will read it aloud. "To my dear friends at Cheers….Afternoon, Everybody."
Sam, Cliff, Woody, Rebecca, Don: NORM!
Diane: Norman.
Val: Ah, that's what he meant by a big "Hello". Anyway… "You are the only people who are so near and dear to my heart that I can comfortably refer to you as my only family. Since I am now gone, I will to you, Sam "Mayday" Malone, the material value of any and all of my personal possessions, including real estate, transportation and wealth. All of this will be used to offset any and all debts I have to the Bar, specifically the beer tab. Use it in good health for the sake of the Bar. Without the Bar, my life was never complete. I love you all, and I hope to see you again in Heaven. That is, if they have a bar stool waiting for me. With all my love, Norm."
[The gang is in stunned disbelief by the end of the brief testimony. Then, Woody comes back in.]
Woody: Boy, does it feel good to talk to my wife!
[Woody freezes when he sees everyone frozen in stunned silence. Val looks to Woody.]
Val: Hey, are they always like this?
Woody: No, they're not statues.
[We see an exterior shot of a high-security prison. Inside, we hear Carla screaming.]
Carla: (screaming) MONEY! MONEY! KILL FOR MONEY! KILL! MONEY! KILL FOR MONEY!
[Suddenly, we hear a taser gone going off, sending Carla into a whirlwind of painful screaming.]
Carla: (screaming) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! KILL! KILL! MUST KILL!
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
[The camera fades from black, showing the exterior of Cheers on the same day.]
[Inside the bar, SPLASH! Val splashes a glass of water onto Sam, waking him from his stunned silence.]
Val: Mister Malone!
Sam: Whoa, oh, uh, yeah. Yeah, man. What happened there?
Val: You froze solid when I told you what Norm left you in his will.
Sam: Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah, how much-
[Sam sees his other friends, except for Woody, are also frozen solid. He gently slaps them all awake.]
Sam: Oh, hang on. C'mon, honey. Wake up! C'mon, Cliff. Don, wake up. Wake up, Becky.
Diane: Ow. What's that? Norm left us what?
Cliff: Wow, man! How much is all that worth?
Don: Whoa, what happened?
Rebecca: OW! What's that, Sam? Oh, wait! You said Norm left all of his possessions to Sam for the sake of the bar. What is the estimated value?
Val: You should hear from a Pete Gradens soon. I gave him a number to Mister Malone's phone.
Sam: Which one?
[Val pulls up something on his cell phone and shows Sam.]
Val: Um…..this one.
Sam: Uh, yeah. That's the one. Norm gave it to you, eh?
Val: He had to. He was absolutely insistent that you be the sole heir of his materials.
Sam: Wow, man. I'm still stunned by that. He seriously had no surviving family.
Val: Well, he had no children, no extended family, and his wife's family disowned him for, as I quote, "….never treating her like a real wife."
Cliff: Yeah, that's Norm for ya.
Val: Well, at any rate, you will hear from Pete soon. He said he'd call later tonight or tomorrow. I must be off.
[Val leaves the letter on the bar and leaves the bar. The gang sends him good wishes.]
Diane: Well, thank you so much for this wonderful news.
Rebecca: Oh, yes. Thanks so much. Stay safe.
Woody: Take care.
Cliff: Yeah, thanks, Boss.
Don: Take care. Be safe.
Sam: Thank you so much! Anytime you want to come back, the rounds are on me.
Val: Much obliged.
Sam: Wow! Norm always had us in mind, even in the end.
Rebecca: Yeah, amazing. So, I guess we're going to settle his tab?
Sam: Well, duh. We got to keep the Bar afloat.
Diane: Now more than ever.
Cliff: Hey, I have another idea.
Rebecca: No, Cliff. We're not going to use the settlement to fund a cleaning for Dave.
Cliff: No, no. I wasn't even thinking about that….although he needs it. But, no, I was thinking…I honestly cannot imagine anyone else sitting at that corner stool. Maybe we can put a little tribute to Norm on the stool, or the corner bar or something?
Diane: Ah, a memorial. A fitting, permanent statement to the most resident of this establishment.
Woody: Yep, sounds right to me.
Sam: I love that idea. We can put something like a, uh….a brass plate on the corner of that bar.
Rebecca: And, maybe something like an uh…engraving on the plate that honors Norm and his lifelong loyalty to the bar.
Cliff: And of course, we gotta put his signature greeting on there.
Diane: Oh, of course. And uh….oooo. Make it to where when a person reads it aloud, they may get a complimentary drink or something like that...
Sam: Not just any drink…..it's gotta be beer.
Rebecca: I love all that, except anytime someone leaves the stool after five seconds, they can come back and do it again.
Don: Well, hang on. Norm never left that seat during the day, did he?
[Everyone laughs out loud.]
Don: Obviously, not. So, make it to where when one person sits there, says the saying, gets his beer, and then when he or she leaves, we prop up the barstool so no one else uses it for the day.
Rebecca: Wow! What a great idea, honey. Our Norm for the Day.
Cliff: Sounds great to me. Norm would love it.
Woody: Yeah, and who knows? Maybe a real guy named Norman will come in here one day? How fitting would that be? I just hope he likes beer….
Sam: I agree. It's a fitting tribute to Norm, and it's a one-a-day deal. Only one a day….whatcha think, Becky?
Rebecca: I already said I like it, but we should probably wait until that guy, uh, Pete calls? And hey, if there's enough left over after Norm's bar tab is settled, we can get that brass plate engraved and polished. The more, the better, right?
Diane: Right.
[Suddenly, Sam's phone rings. He answers.]
Sam: Hello?
[Lilith is seen in her office at Boston General Hospital, in a black business suit with her hair up in a bun. She speaks in haste to her cell phone.]
Lilith: Sam, its Lilith! I have some urgent news that I think you'll hate.
[Sam is puzzled.]
Sam: Wha-? What is it?
[Lilith speaks hastily.]
Lilith: I just got a call from Bridgewater! I don't know how it happened, but Carla escaped!
[This news shocks Sam.]
Sam: (gasps) Oh, my God. Carla escaped from the nut-house!
[Diane and the others gasp in shock.]
[Lilith's phone vibrates, causing her to look at it. She likes what she sees.]
Lilith: Excellent! (taps on her phone) Frasier, hang on. (taps her phone again) Sam, Frasier, you should all be merged together on this line.
[The camera goes to an even, three-way split, showing Lilith in one frame, Sam in one, and Frasier in the last. Frasier appears to be in a hotel room, in a robe and the last of his hair messy.]
Sam: I'm here. Fras?
Frasier: Yes, I'm here! Lilith, what is going on?
Lilith: Carla escaped from Bridgewater!
Frasier: WHAT!? CARLA!? Oh, dear God! How many officers did she kill?!
Lilith: Last I heard, Carla hurt four officers and three guards in the process. No word on whether or not they survived.
Sam: Oh, man. This isn't good.
Frasier: Damn right it's not good! Carla's extreme case of violent behavior is well-documented and famous in the entire mental health community.
Lilith: Our colleagues have been reading and studying this for a long time and we have named her condition, "The Tortelli Tort".
Sam: They named a condition called "The Tortelli Tort". That's bad, right?
[Diane gasps in shock.]
Diane: Oh, my God! That IS the worst! Put 'em on speaker!
[Sam pushes a button and Diane speaks to Sam's phone.]
Diane: Frasier, Lilith it's me!
Lilith: Hi, Diane.
Frasier: Diane! You're nuts, you know that?!
Diane: (over the phone) That's your opinion, Frasier, but shut up! Lilith, how severe is the nature of Carla's condition?
Lilith: Her behavior and brain wave patterns have been studied for three weeks, and a very intriguing pattern was discovered. Every time someone spoke the word, "Sam", she'd smile for a moment peacefully, but then go into a violent tantrum.
Frasier: But, when someone spoke the word "Diane", she'd go into an even MORE violent tantrum and scream out certain expletives!
Lilith: Actually, one particular expletive come out regularly…..brace yourself….."Kill, kill, kill."
[Sam and Diane gasp in fear and they hang onto each other.]
Sam: Did she let out any specific expletives when my name was heard?
Frasier: SAM! Don't you get it?! It's obvious that Carla has every intention to find Diane and kill her! Let's not forget one thing, Sam! She went off the rails when you and Diane showed up married!
[In Sam's insert screen, Sam talks into the phone as Woody pulls out two revolvers from behind the bar and starts to inspect them.]
Sam: Wha-? What does that have to do with…her escaping the prison?
Lilith: Sam, it means that Carla secretly loved you, and wanted you all to herself!
[This silences everyone in the bar for a few seconds. Then, Diane clears her throat and speaks.]
Diane: (clears throat) Explain that, please….
Frasier: Look, the case was so perplexing, and with a slight possible romantic element, I had to talk to my brother, who specializes in relationships. And, we all agreed that the Eponine Effect was so greatly concealed deep within the subconscious of Carla, we were all baffled when we picked up on it.
Diane: Wait…the Eponine Effect? Is that what I think it is?
Lilith: Loosely based on the character from Les Miserables, the theory suggests that the lover wants the one she longs for to be happy, even at the expense of her happiness. In this case, Carla wanted Sam to be the sexual God he loved being, and Carla knew he'd never change. So, she loved him for who he was. However, the side effect is it keeps the emotions bottled up, never to see the light of day. After so many years, the lover could lose all scruples and the emotions could swing out in potential violent and irrational acts.
Frasier: The theory is the latest contribution to the mental health community, thanks to Lilith, Niles, and me. We have made it into several notable publications. Heh, heh.
[Diane, not liking what she's hearing, gets loud as she talks to the phone.]
Diane: So, you mean to say is, while you and yours are getting fame and notoriety, we ARE GOING TO DIE AT THE MERCILESS HANDS OF A JILTED PSYCHOPATH?!
[Frasier instantly realizes he's been had.]
Frasier: RUN LIKE HELL!
Lilith: That's enough, Frasier! Look, we will work with the law enforcement officers and assist them however we can.
Frasier: I'll call Niles. Maybe he can help.
Lilith: But in the meantime, it would be best for all of you to leave the Bar immediately. That'll be the first place she'll go. You should get out of town, out of state. Someplace she'll never think about finding you.
Frasier: Hawaii…..Venezuela…North Korea…..JUST GO!
Lilith: I'll call the State police. You start packing. I'll text you any updates.
Sam: (over phone) Gotcha! Thanks!
[Sam swiftly puts his phone away and goes to Diane and the rest. By this point, Woody has pulled up three revolvers, a 9mm semi-automatic pistol, a tactical rifle and a sawn off 12 gauge shotgun.]
Sam: Aw, geez. Woody, don't you think this is a bit too much?
Woody: Sam, you heard Doctor Lilith Sternin!
Diane: Woody, surely you don't think…?
Woody: I already took down that loon once, saving your lives in the process! If I have to save you and this Bar again, I'll do it!
Cliff: Hey, hey, hey, Woody. You got lucky once.
Woody: That wasn't luck. That was a straight-up surprise shot, and she had her gun pointed right at my face when I tagged her arm. I could've died that day. So, don't tell me that wasn't luck! That was fate! I feel like I was destined to save you and this Bar! Now, GO!
Diane: Woody….
[The image immediately cuts to the office of Dr. Niles Crane. Niles, 61 years old now, sporting a gotee and mustache, is seen in his typical three-piece business suit, talking on the office phone.]
Niles: No, it's not unheard of to secretly lust after your 2nd cousin, Beth. But, the familial harmony will be shattered if you sleep with her. Family comes first! You said that yourself.
[Niles hears his Cell Phone vibrating. He picks it up, sees it, and groans.]
Niles: Look, Beth. Our hour is up! Call back tomorrow if you have to. Good-bye.
[Niles hangs up his Office phone, and answers his Cell Phone.]
Niles: Yes, Frasier?
[Niles gasps in horror.]
Niles: Oh, dear God! How the Hell did she escape Bridgewater!? Look, forget that! We need to think about this! You said this woman was deeply fixated on killing your ex-fiancee for marrying that Bartender, right?! Right, okay. Well, we know she's going to try and get to the Bar, right? Okay, now, how will she get there? She has no car, no fees for a bus…..Oh, right. She's the violent one. Oh, dear God! Everyone one the road between Bridgewater and Boston is at risk! She could not care less who she hurts! She will hurt anyone who stands in the way of her target! And even if she does kill your ex-fiancee, she'll be so delusional that she will never stop! Tell the Authorities to use lethal force, if they are allowed! I know, I know about the political climate of Boston….It's a lighter version of Seattle! I know! Now listen, Frasier….tell the Authorities to stop her at all costs…..now! She probably will not listen to reason….she never did when she was sane, so how can we expect it in her state of mind now?! Okay, do that! Call me back when you hear more. Yeah, bye!
[Niles sighs in exasperation. Suddenly, his intercom beeps and his receptionist, Kathy, is heard.]
Kathy: Dr. Crane, your wife is on the line.
Niles: Thank you.
[Niles answers his office phone.]
Niles: Hello, my love.
[Daphne Moon-Crane is seen in the Montana apartment, in a nice pink shirt and black pants. Her hair still brown and shoulder-length. She talks calmly.]
Daphne: Hello, you young stud! How is work?
Niles: (over phone) Kinda busy….a couple of taboo lusters needed rational thought, and a violent Boston psychopath has escaped.
Daphne: Another money-maker, huh?
Niles: (over phone) Honey, that woman Frasier, Lilith and I did research on has escaped and is on the warpath.
Daphne: Oh, my God! That's terrible! Are the police going to get her?
Niles: (over phone) They're scrambling to find her right now. Frasier and Lilith are helping them any way they can. Lilith's in Boston and Frasier's in Chicago, so they are in the best position to help. All I can do is provide insight where I can. How's David and Lynn?
Daphne: Oh, they're upstairs doing their homework.
David: (from upstairs) MUM! This stuff is hard!
Daphne: (shuts phone) SHUT IT AND DO YOUR WORK! (in phone) David's being a lazy sod about it.
Niles: (over phone) Well, that's his Grandfather in him. Well, I must run…..an appointment. I love you, darling.
Daphne: I love you, too, stud. Bye.
[Daphne puts the phone down, sighs relieved, and goes upstairs.]
[Back in Frasier's hotel room, he's frantically talking to someone on his phone.]
Frasier: Yes, according to my brother, she will not stop to any rational motion! You may have to use excessive force! NO…of course not LETHAL force! Just anything else but! ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, FINE! Do whatever you feel is necessary! Call me back when you have her! Thank you, and good hunting!
[Frasier tosses his cell phone onto his bed, then sits on the bed as he massages his forehead. Then, Charlotte, 56 years young, still sporting full blonde locks and still looking great, walks from the bathroom in a white robe. She uses a towel to dry her hair as she talks to Frasier.]
Charlotte: Hey, honey. What's going on?
Frasier: Well, uh, you know that psychopath that got me, Lilith and Niles to super-stardom?
Charlotte: The "Car-la Crash"?
Frasier: Yes, that's it! She escaped from the Bridgewater Prison, and we all concluded that she's going to kill the woman who's married to my friend in Boston!
Charlotte: My God! You warned them, yes?
Frasier: Yes, I was just talking to the Boston P.D. SWAT Commander.
Charlotte: SWAT? Isn't that a bit much for just one crazy woman?
Frasier: My love, you don't know this psychopath the way I do. She made six vicious Junk Yard guard dogs cry just by screaming at them. She made the Devil's Gypsy Cult weep in fear. She made the ghosts of the Boston Massacre retreat back into their graves and as of now, they haven't returned!
Charlotte: Okay, I got the point! She's scary. And your friends?
Frasier: I told them to run, and that's what they're doing. I just-I feel so helpless. All I can do is just call people and talk to them. Sometimes, I wish I could be out there on the front lines and negotiate with the disturbed in the field…
Charlotte: It's okay, honey. It's okay. Your friends are running, your safe with me, and let's not forget….Lilith can be out there on the front lines.
[Charlotte goes to behind Frasier and gently embraces him, kissing his neck.]
Frasier: Makes sense to me….she's the ice empress and she can welcome Carla back to the Hell-hole.
[Charlotte and Frasier chuckle softly.]
Charlotte: In the meantime, can we keep it nice and hot here?
[Frasier looks at Charlotte.]
Frasier: Sounds great to me.
[Frasier and Charlotte smile and kiss.]
Charlotte: But seriously, I hope they can capture her safely.
Frasier: Let's hope so. I still have another dissertation to write.
Charlotte: I thought you already did that.
Frasier: This episode is just the framework, the foundation, for another.
Charlotte: You just want to be even more famous, don't you?
Frasier: That, and I gotta put bread on the table, especially after all the energy I'm burning up here.
[Charlotte and Frasier giggle, kiss again, and fall flat on the bed together.]
[Horror music starts as we see a red car skidded up on a power line pole, smoking and doors ajar.]
[The horror music continues as we see a semi-truck with a box trailer skidded off a road and crashed into a ditch, crippling the trailer. The driver door is ajar.]
[We see a young Caucasian man of 27 years, Grant, in simple t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. He's driving and jamming to his pop music tunes in his car radio. His phone vibrates. Hearing the vibration, Grant reaches for it in the front passenger seat and reads his phone. Suddenly, CRASH! A small fire extinguisher bursts through the windshield and lands on the passenger seat. The shock and blinded vision from the shattered windshield glass sends Grant into a fishtail.]
Grant: AHHHH! WHAT THE HELL?! AHH!
[From outside, we see Grant's blue sedan fishtail violently, barely able to stay on the road as the tires screech.]
Grant: AHHH! AAAAHHH! AHH!
[The sedan fishtails just a little more, but screeches to a halt.]
Grant: AHH! AHHH! OH!
[Inside the sedan, Grant, still in shock, pants as he looks around and, seeing the fire extinguisher, is instantly perplexed. He taps his cell phone four times, and brings it to his ear as he places his vehicle in Park. A 911 Operator answers on the other side of the phone line.]
911 Operator (female voice; over phone) 9-1-1. What's your emergency?
Grant: (panting; on phone) Uh, yeah. A, uh….a very strange car accident. I was driving and then a fire extinguished came out of nowhere and shattered-
[Suddenly, from the outside of the car, the car door is opened. We hear low snarling, and growling as Grant goes to see. He is stunned by what he sees as he is pulled out of his car.]
Grant: Oh, good. Someone's here….Hey, I-Huh!? What?! WHAT THE HELL!?
[The camera fixates on Grant's cell phone as is falls to the road. We hear Grant screaming and begging against the snarling and growling.]
Grant: HEY! Stop it! Stop it! Put it down! PUT THE GUN DOWN! NOW!
[The camera continues to be fixated on the cell phone as PUNCH! PUNCH! KICK! we hear a physical confrontation as Grant continues pleading with the growling and snarling.]
Grant: DON'T-! UGH! HAAH! YAH! DON'T REACH! DON'T YOU DARE REACH-
[BLAM! The image goes to the 911 Operators office, where the 911 Operator, a blonde Caucasian woman at age 25, jumps in shock at hearing a GUNSHOT in her earpiece. She starts a panic as she types nervously into her keyboard.]
911 Operator: Oh, God. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Sir?! Sir, are you there!? Oh, God, please talk to me….
[On her screen, the Operator is seeing screens pop-up boxes. The first says, "Bridgewater P.D. In-Route". The second says, "Boston SWAT In-Route".]
911 Operator: I'm here. I'm here for you. Please talk to me, sir! Talk, please!
[In Sam's Corvette, Sam is driving with a laser focus while Diane hangs on.]
Sam: So, the way I see it, we take the country roads towards Albany, and then take the Interstates down to JFK and then fly out of there to London.
Diane: That's a long drive!
Sam: Yeah, but an even longer flight! Look, we have no choice. Until the authorities catch Carla, we gotta flee!
Diane: What about Woody?
Sam: Woody's fine! If he wants to defend the bar, he can. I just hope he doesn't turn it into Swiss cheese. Rebecca still owes me for setting it on fire!
Diane: Rebecca WHAT?!
Sam: Oh, I didn't tell you?
Diane: Rebecca burned down the bar?
Sam: Well, yeah. She was a bad smoker, stupid and careless! And still is! Or at least she was before Don came back! Look, that's beside the point! I trust Woody to do what he has to do.
Diane: You know, I never understood Woody.
Sam: Join the club.
Diane: He married a very sweet girl with a lot of wealth. He could've retired. He could be spending more time with his wife and family. He could find more habits and hobbies that could satisfy him on an aesthetic level.
Sam: Kelly satisfies him on every level. Man, let me tell ya…
Diane: Don't!
Sam: Well anyway, the reason he still works at the bar is that he never got along with the rich snobs from his father-in-law's circle. He was raised poor. He has always preferred to hang around the hard-working, common man who comes to the bar as a means to get away. It's….like a home to him. Hell, that's why it's home to me.
Diane: So, it's his way to stay in touch with his true self.
Sam: Yeah, exactly.
Diane: Wow! So, he really is satisfied. Are you?
Sam: Me?
Diane: Are you satisfied?
Sam: Wha-?! Of course I am, baby! With you, I am always satisfied!
Diane: Mmm….me, too!
Sam: Even without the library you were so accustomed to?
Diane: I've done all the research I need. Besides, I have one last book to write. My final one…
[Diane kisses Sam on the cheek.]
Sam: Yeah, that's right, baby. I guess I'm the leading man in this last book?
Diane: Oh, I suppose I can arrange that. Besides, my leading lady needs a leading man.
Sam: Dare I ask who the leading lady is?
Diane: Markie Post.
Sam: (confused) Wha-!?
Diane: Kidding, I'm kidding. Of course it's me. Just keep driving.
Sam: Aye, aye, Captain.
[Sam and Diane laugh.]
[Don is driving in a car. Rebecca is sitting in the passenger seat, tapping on her phone.]
Don: So, how do we get to Keystone?
Rebecca: I'm still pulling up the maps. All I know is that you drive East!
Don: Then, why aren't we in the Atlantic yet?
Rebecca: Huh?
Don: If we were going East, we'd be in the Atlantic by now!
Rebecca: OKAY, West, then! Go West! I'll find it! God!
Don: Wow, what a way to go to Mount Rushmore….a virus, and a deadly psycho!
Rebecca: Outdoors, camping, forests, and on the way, the Badlands! Totally fun! Maybe we should stop by that Wall Drug place on the way and get more drugs!
Don: Stop right there, hun! You're not going back into remission….not on my watch!
Rebecca: It's how I calm down!
[SLAP! Don swiftly slaps Rebecca's cheek. After a moment, Rebecca looks gingerly at her husband.]
Rebecca: Thanks, hun!
Don: No problem. Again, I hate it when I do that!
Rebecca: I know! Thank you, hun! I love you!
Don: And I love you, beautiful!
[Later that evening, we see Diane, Sam, and his Corvette pulled over on the side of a Farm-To-Highway Road in the woods. Diane is keeping a watchful eye as she sits on the hood of the Corvette. Sam emerges from the woods and goes to Diane.]
Sam: Yeah, sorry about that. I may not have good bladder control, but I know I have smooth Cruise control.
[Diane giggles.]
Diane: That's for sure.
[Sam's phone rings. Sam pulls out his phone, taps it a couple times, and speaks to it.]
Sam: Hey, Lilith. What's up?
Lilith: (on phone) Sam, I'm in IH-93 near Quincy.
[We see Lilith, still in her business attire, on a part of Interstate Highway surrounded by Police Officers, Paramedics, and their vehicles. We see some personal cars and pickups damaged and totaled all around. Lilith is standing next to a car that is smoldering and smoking badly.]
Lilith: There has been a furious rampage on the Highway. According to witnesses, a car plowed its way past several cars during Rush Hour until it smashed into an eighteen-wheeler full of gasoline, leading to an explosion.
[Sam and Diane cringe at the description of the scene.]
Diane: But, what does this-
[Lilith talks into her phone while next to the smoldering car. She's deeply concerned.]
Lilith: I'm at the scene right now. I just talked to the forensics experts who examined the wreckage. There was a body pulled from the fire that appears to match that of Carla.
[Sam and Diane gasp and look at each other.]
Sam: You—you mean-
[Lilith nods as tears start to well up in her eyes.]
Lilith: I saw the charred remains of the body myself, Sam. Even I could tell it was Carla.
[Diane looks at Sam. Both are stricken with grief.]
Sam: Carla-
[Lilith speaks firmly while holding back tears.]
Lilith: The insanity broke her, Sam. We tried everything in all our power to save her from herself. I'm sorry, Sam. I know she was a very dear friend to you.
[Sam holds onto his wife as they sob together.]
[The image fades to a few nights later. We see the exterior of the Cheers Bar as a couple cars go by.]
[Inside the bar, Sam, Diane, Rebecca, Don, Cliff, Woody, Kelly, and Woody Jr. are gathered around the bar in dim lights. Sam is holding a bottle of water, Diane is holding bottle of water, Cliff has a glass mug full of beer, Rebecca has a glass of white wine, Don has a mug of beer, Woody has a mug of beer, Kelly has a glass of red wine, and Woody Jr. has a glass of Soda. They all look extremely depressed. Suddenly, Lilith, in casual street wear and her hair down, enters through the front door, slowly and defeated.]
Lilith: Hi.
[Everyone murmurs softly.]
All: Hi.
Sam: Here's your white wine.
[Lilith goes to the barstool where she always sat, and takes the glass of white wine from the bar.]
Lilith: Thank you.
[Everyone looks at their drinks, still depressed.]
Lilith: It's amazing….
Diane: What is?
Lilith: How the whole world you know can change in an instant, and in a way that you never saw coming. It just…It makes you sit back, take a moment, and re-analyze yourself….and your life.
Rebecca: Yeah….I feel like we had this conversation already.
Sam: Some did….others didn't. It's alright. We can have this conversation all night.
Woody: I'd like to.
Kelly: Me, too.
Don: Yeah, man.
[The front door opens. Anthony Tortelli, 55 years old, still in great physique, and depressed, enters sporting a BoSox white t-shirt, leather coat and jeans. Entering with Anthony is his wife Annie, 52 years old, still is fantastic slender physique, sporting black leggings, a loose pink t-shirt, and her curly brown locks. She is also depressed.]
Anthony: Sam…
[Sam is surprised to see Anthony and Annie. When all of the people start to see Anthony and Annie, they open their arms to extend their love and support to Anthony and Annie.]
Sam: Anthony! Annie! Oh, man. So good to see you!
Diane: Hey, come here! Welcome! So wonderful to see you.
Lilith: Andy. Annie. I can only imagine your grief. We're all here for you.
Cliff: Hey, you two love birds. Glad you could make it.
Woody: Hello again. I know I've seen you before, and I know you're Carla's kid. Great to see you.
Kelly: Hi. Mister and Missus Tortelli. So wonderful to see you.
[As everyone is greeting, Rebecca goes to meet them, but Don, confused, inquires.]
Rebecca: Anthony! Annie! Glad to see you!
Don: Who are they?
Rebecca: Carla's son and his wife!
Don: Oh, man! Well, hey! Welcome. Very nice to meet you both!
[Anthony and Annie exchange the warm greetings warmly and with gratitude.]
Anthony: Hey, thanks. Thank you.
Annie: You're very nice. Thank you all.
Sam: Can I offer you a drink?
Anthony: Got a beer?
Annie: And a red wine?
Sam: Coming up. How are you holding up?
Anthony: It's tough, Sam. Real tough. I mean, the only Mother I knew and loved, gone for good. I wish I knew why.
[Lilith looks at Sam inquiringly, and Sam, picking up on her motive, shakes his head
"No." Lilith sees it, and goes back to her wine quietly.]
Annie: We all do. It sure wasn't easy for him, especially after the incident that got her in Jail.
[Lilith gags on her wine briefly, and looks away to clear her throat.]
Lilith: (clearing throat) Excuse me.
Sam: Anthony, nobody loved your Mother more that I did. I was crying when I heard it all.
Diane: We all were.
[Everyone in the Bar agrees.]
All: Oh, yes. We all cried.
Lilith: Yes, it was very sad to hear.
Sam: She loved this place, and I know she loved you and all your brothers and sisters.
Anthony: Yeah, I know. But I tell you, it seemed like everything went down hill after she almost killed your girl, Sam. She was carted off to the Asylum and I was never allowed to see her or bust her out.
[Lilith looks away awkwardly. The rest of the gang reacts, sensing tension.]
Annie: One night after trying to get her, my Anthony came home with so many dog bites on his arm and legs, I nearly screamed and threw up.
[Lilith breaths deep and exhales, sensing great tension. The rest of the gang also reacts to the greater tension.]
Diane: Please tell me you went to the Doctor after that horrible incident.
Anthony: No! Who can afford it?
[Lilith doesn't like this at all as she keeps looking away. The gang backs away from them a little.]
Don: I hear you, but you must stay healthy, and who knows what diseases those guard dogs carry?
Annie: Don't worry. My Anthony is tough. He swam in filthy, green lake after getting bit by a snake.
[Lilith hates that news as she keeps looking away. The gang looks at each other with mild disgust.]
Anthony: Hey, haven't felt a thing since.
[Sam tried to de-fuse the awkwardness.]
Sam: But hey, you know at anytime you need to come in, we're always here for you.
[Lilith nods as she drinks her wine.]
Annie: Thank you, Sam.
Anthony: Thanks, man. But I tell you, if I ever find the one who sent my Mom to the Mad House, I will gladly dish out my own brand of Justice.
[Lilith spits out her wine. She coughs a little.]
Lilith: Sam, I think I drank a hair.
[Sam goes to Lilith, takes her glass, sets it in the sink, and refills a fresh glass of white wine as he talks. Woody wipes down the spat wine.]
Sam: Oh, sorry about that, Lilith. Let me get you a refill. Now, Anthony, you can't just go back to the Criminal way of life because your Mother died. I know you're upset and all, and that's normal, but the life of Crime is never worth it.
Anthony: I don't care, Sam. Those super-smart, Ivy-League fat heads need a wake-up call! It's never good to use my Mother's mind to get rich and famous.
[Lilith, hearing enough, starts to leave.]
Lilith: Hang on, Sam! I just got an Emergency Call from the Hospital! I really must go.
Woody: What call, Doctor Sternin?
Lilith: Shut up, idiot!
[Lilith bolts out of there, swiftly. She dials on her phone as she bolts out of there. Woody doesn't like that from Lilith.]
Woody: It's Woody, no "Idiot". That was really mean of Doctor Sternin.
Anthony: Sternin…..Sternin…..why does that name sound familiar?
[The gang, except Woody, all act clueless.]
All, except Woody: No idea….Could be anything….Don't Know.
Woody: Well, uh…
[Sam swiftly slaps Woody's mouth shut.]
Sam: NO….idea. We have no idea why it would be familiar to you. Right, Woody?
[Woody, picking up on Sam's tone of voice, meekly agrees.]
Woody: Uh, right. No idea.
[The situation is driving Anthony nuts.]
Anthony: Uh, man. This is crazy. I know that name sounds familiar. Why?
Annie: Calm down, honey. We'll figure it out.
Anthony: Ugh! This is gonna drive me nuts until I figure it out. Maybe Elvis would know…
Woody: Elvis? He left the building years ago!
Annie: He means his little brother, Elvis! She was right. You are an idiot. Go ahead and call Elvis, honey.
[Anthony goes to the Pay Phone and starts dialing. During this, the gang looks at each other awkwardly.]
Cliff: (quietly) I never knew Carla's insanity could run that deep. They're scaring me.
[Annie notices the secrecy as they continue.]
Rebecca: (quietly) I agree. This cannot get out of hand.
Diane: (quietly) It might be all talk. Anthony is still reeling from losing his mother. I don't know if he'll actually go through with the notion of killing Lilith….or Frasier or Niles.
Don: (quietly) If they figure it out.
Annie: What are you talking about?
All: (sharp and suddenly) NOTHING!
Annie: You're acting very weird.
Sam: What do you mean? We're always this way.
Woody: Well, actually…
[SLAP! Diane slaps Woody's mouth shut.]
Diane: ALWAYS! We always act like this. Right, Woody?
[Woody's eyes open, and he nods in agreement. Diane removes her hand from Woody's mouth. Woody massages his mouth.]
Woody: Yep, we act a little nutty sometimes.
[Anthony, in rage, slams the pay phone so hard in the receiver, the whole console drops to the ground with a loud THUD! Anthony, in rage, doesn't even notice as he storms towards the exit. Annie joins him as they head towards the door.]
Anthony: (enraged) DAMMIT! ANNIE, WE'RE OUTTA HERE!
Annie: What? What is it!?
Anthony: JUST COME ON! WE GOTTA SEE THAT DOCTOR!
Annie: WHY!?
Anthony: WE JUST NEED TO SEE HER! LET'S GO!
[Suddenly, three Boston P.D. officers and a Ward from the Boston General Hospital Insanity Department enter the bar, ready for anything.]
BPD Cop1: Anthony Tortelli, you're under arrest.
Anthony: For what?
BPD Cop2: Conspiracy to Commit Murder.
Anthony: Only over my dead body! Out of my way!
[Anthony attempts to shove the Police Officers aside, but they instantly grab ahold of him and start to wrestle him down. Annie tries to come to his aide, but she is immediately subdued by the Ward. Anthony screams in rage as he fights for freedom, but the Cops put his hands and legs in cuffs. They start to carry him away.]
Anthony: (enraged) REEEAAAAAHH! AAAAAAAARRGH! DAMMIT! I'M SORRY, MOM! I'M SO SORRY!
Annie: STOP IT! STOP! AAAUGH! LET GO OF ME! LET ME GO!
[As two Cops carry the enraged Anthony and the Ward carries the uncooperative Annie up the stairs, the third Cop goes toward the Bar.]
BPD Cop3: Hey, Sternin said one of you has evidence?
Diane: Yes, I do. It's on this phone.
[The gang is stunned.]
Sam: What? Evidence?
[Diane surrenders her phone to BPD Cop3 as she explains.]
Diane: Just hit the Play button on the Voice Recorder app.
[BPD Cop3 taps Diane's phone. We hear Anthony's voice on the phone.]
Anthony: (on phone) Thanks, man. But I tell you, if I ever find the one who sent my Mom to the Mad House, I will gladly dish out my own brand of Justice.
[BPD Cop3 taps Diane's phone, stopping the recording.]
BPD Cop3: Anyone else have this recording?
Diane: Only Doctor Lilith Sternin.
BPD Cop3: The presumed victim….
Diane: Yes. And we all witnessed this exchange.
BPD Cop3: Gotcha. We'll be in touch. Have a good night.
Diane: Thank you for the swift response.
BPD Cop3: Our pleasure, ma'am.
[The Cop leaves. The gang looks to Diane.]
Sam: How…?
Diane: I'm sorry, Sam, but I just don't trust the Tortelli family, at all. Do you?
Sam: Well, Carla, but I….
Diane: Either way, as soon as they entered, I knew I had to protect myself. I started recording as soon as the conversation turned bad.
Cliff: Pretty quick, huh?
Diane: Well, yes. And I'm glad I did. As soon as I heard that pivotal sentence from Anthony, I immediately sent the audio to Lilith, who already called the Police at that time. And considering her position in the Mental Health community, she had the immediate power to the arm of the Law. That's how they responded so quickly.
Don: Wow! Way to plan ahead. But you know, it's sad to see how insanity can affect the mind.
Rebecca: It is sad. Too bad they didn't make the right choices when it matters most.
Diane: It's even more sad to think that they might not have made the wrong choices if they were better educated. I know of what I speak.
Sam: For sure, honey.
Rebecca: Yeah.
Don: Amen to that.
Cliff: That's true.
Woody: Hey, I just got an idea….
[Some time later, we see the Cheers Bar exterior on a sunny day as traffic passes by on the road.]
[Inside the Bar, we see many patrons enjoying the Bar atmosphere in normal conditions, mask-free, some smoking, and all enjoying the atmosphere. Sam and Woody are behind the Bar, Diane is serving the customers at the tables, and Cliff is in his usual spot, right next to Norm's spot.]
[We see the exterior of the Washington State Convention Center in Seattle. Lost of people are flocking inside, all wearing business attire.]
[Inside a big room in the Convention Center, we see a panel table, set for three panelists an a moderator on the right side, in front of almost 1,000 seats.]
[In the Cheers Bar, a male College student, 21 years of age with brown curly locks reminiscent of the younger Norm Peterson, enters the Bar wearing a Boston University shirt and blue jeans. Sam and Diane take note of his entry.]
[Lilith, in firm, black business dress and her hair in a bun, sits at a panel spot, humble and serious.]
[Frasier, in his black Armani suit and light blue tie, sits at a panel spot, humble and ready.]
[Niles, in a blue Armani suit and gold tie, sits at a panel spot, humble and prepared.]
[A young woman, The Moderator, 30 years of age in a blue business dress and short blonde hair, sits at the moderator spot, prepared with a question list.]
[An older gentleman, sitting on a bar stool where Frasier normally sits, looks at a short Cocktail menu, and orders.]
Gentleman: This Tortelli seems like a mean cocktail.
Woody: It's our meanest one.
Gentleman: How about a double?
Woody: If you can take it….
[Woody takes a short glass and starts to prepare the cocktail.]
[The Moderator speaks as we see shots of Niles, Frasier and Lilith on the panel, & Daphne and Charlotte sitting next to each other in the audience among the other Psychiatrists.]
Moderator: Doctors, in response to the extraordinary events that took place in Boston two weeks ago, you published an article that has been regarded by the American Journal of Psychiatry as the Most Humane Article of the Year.
[We see Roz Doyle, 60 years of age still sporting long, brown hair and still looking great, sitting in the Station Manager's office wearing modern office fashion, listening to the radio with intent. The Moderator continues as she listens.]
Moderator: However, it is met with criticism from the Psychiatric Community, seeming to denounce the Profession that we all share. How do you respond? We'll start with Doctor Niles Crane.
[Niles clears his throat and begins.]
Niles: Well, I can comfortably say that the critics, as usual, has misconstrued our intent and slandered our wording in the most abhorrent manner I have ever seen.
[In slow-motion, we see the College Student walking around the bar towards Norm's spot as Niles continues.]
Niles: Saying that we stated our Profession as an excuse to gain profit on the weak and unintelligent is a direct insult to us all here today.
[In slow-motion, we see Anthony in an orange jumpsuit locked in a Prison Cell that has translucent doors, spazzing out and freaking out. We see his mouth agape, as if to scream, but nothing is heard, except for Niles continuing his comments.]
Niles: Our ultimate goal is to help all people, no matter the problem, nor the matter.
[In slow-motion, we see Annie on a Boston street, leaving a store in disgust. Niles continues as we see this.]
Niles: The ultimate profit is knowing that we did a job well done in helping our patients overcome their problems and gain more stability in their minds and their lives.
[Niles is seen closing his statement with full confidence.]
Niles: Anything less is unacceptable.
[The camera goes to Frasier.]
Moderator: Doctor Frasier Crane?
Frasier: Yes, I also want to piggy-back off of my brother's remarks and say that….
[We see Roz in her Office, smiling as she hears her dear friend's voice. A gentleman, about 45 years of age, in a suit and sporting a goatee, sits next to Roz. Roz kisses him as they listen to Frasier.]
Frasier:….while we are humbled for the praise that we have been given, I feel deeply sorry for the critics who had not yet gained the intelligence to see our ultimate and noble goal. Any kind of blindness, vision or mind, is unfortunate. And I hope in due time, that our critics will get over their ignorance and see that helping all….is all.
[Lilith is seen on the Panel.]
Moderator: Doctor Lilith Sternin?
Lilith: Yes. Having seen these cases unfold before my very eyes…..
[In slow-motion, Cliff turns his head towards the approaching College student, and gasps. Lilith continues her firm remarks.]
Lilith:…I can say with complete satisfaction that our collaboration was well-founded, well-explained, and well-executed. Anyone who says less is a complete fool.
[In slow-motion, we see Norm's home being demolished by a bulldozer as Lilith continues.]
Lilith: Every human being is given an opportunity to seek help. Every human being has a voice to cry out. Every human being is in complete control of their destiny.
[In slow-motion, we see the College student sitting down in Norm's spot. We see Don and Rebecca smile at this moment as Lilith continues.]
Lilith: But as our research has shown, too many fall by the wayside. Whether it's lack of desire or if it's a cause of exhaustion, the number of humans refusing to take control of their lives is increasing.
[Lilith is showing her passion as she continues.]
Lilith: And our cowardly critics who do nothing but sit behind their devices and spew out this vile dreck for no reason other than the desire to spread hate are not only make themselves look foolish, but they make the human race look worse. And we will not condone it!
[We see a gold plate laminated on the bar where Norm's spot is located. The plate reads,
In loving memory of Hillary Norman Peterson
Oct. 17th, 1948 – Apr. 24th, 2020
Friend, Patron, Soldier
AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY!
Lilith finishes as we see this image.]
Lilith: In conclusion of this query, I will like to add….
[The College Student reads the plaque aloud.]
College Student: Afternoon, everybody!
[Everyone in the entire Bar erupts with joy.]
All: NORM!
[Diane presents the College Student with a Beer.]
Diane: Welcome to Cheers. How are you today?
[The College Students smiles as he raises the beer, speaks and takes a sip.]
College Student: Feeling pretty good now!
[The Executive Producers credits appear and fades away.]
[The end credits roll against the image of the Bar, lights out and dark. We hear the Cheers Instrumental Theme.]
THE END
Cheers: Last Call