In the time they had spent together, V had never seen Johnny so emotional - so vulnerable and beat down. Angry sure. But this? This wasn't the Johnny she was use to. Not even ten minutes ago he was laughing and smirking as they drove along the road in his newly recovered Porsche. Now he sat on a pile of metal, head buried in his hands. V tries not to stare at him and certainly tries her damnedest to maintain a neutral expression. She doubts he'd want any sympathetic looks. Despite the rocky road that was their relationship, whatever it was classified as, the sight broke her heart.
"What did you expect? Headstone, flag and flowers?"
He gives a weak shrug. "I dunno...Maybe a marker? I just wanted to feel like I closed a chapter. To say goodbye to the old Johnny and to usher in the new."
The emotions he's feeling are understandable. Nobody wants to be left to rot in a ditch or landfill or out in the middle of God knows where; tossed aside like trash. Nobody wants to be forgotten. It all reminds her of her mother's burial. Granted, Venus had been given something akin to a proper burial, a luxury not many seemed to get. There's also the fact that almost two months ago she was thrown into the landfill It just seems weird to witness something that's actually shattered his facade and ego.
"Pretend this really is my grave. What would you write? What would you say?"
Lavinia's quiet for a moment before she abruptly stands up. "One sec." she murmurs, signaling for him to not get up. She scurries around their general area to pick up whatever small bits of metal she can. With the combined effort of her raw strength and a lighter, the metallic fragments are shaped into small rose buds. Of course they don't hold a flame to the flower crown her father had made all those years ago. But it's something.
He watches her like a hawk through it all, brows furrowed and his frown deepening. She catches a glimpse of his sour face and she wonders if he's going to snap at her.
When she sits down in her spot again she holds the alloy flora in one hand and with her writing hand she uses a sharp shard to inscribe his initials and the numbers 2023 onto the sheet of steel she's sitting atop. A deep inhale and slow exhale. It's like Jackie's ofrenda all over again.
"From the Earth we were created and to the Earth we return. In our wake we leave behind the chance for new blossoms to grow, both in nature and our loved ones. While nothing lasts forever, we live on in memory and in the life of the planet. Ashes to ashes. Dust to Dust. Earth to earth." It's poetic and probably sounds too eloquent to be coming out of her mouth. It's things she remembers hearing her mother say in such somber situations. "Here lies Johnny Silverhand. One of the greatest legends, and the man that saved my life." V breaks eye contact with him to lay the flowers ontop of the inscription she made earlier.
As she looks back at him, she can't read his expression. There's a gentle aspect to his features. She meant every word she said, genuinely. But perhaps she had said something wrong? The chance to argue doesn't come. He stands up and moves closer towards her. He's taken off his shades which is a rare sight in itself. "I wish that was true V." he says. "Look I know I've fucked up a lotta things. Letting down or using people like a blind, selfish bastard. I like to think I've managed to not fuck one thing up so far. That being what you and I have."
V stares at him wide eyed, shocked and unsure what to say at first. There were no snarky remarks on his end so far. "It hasn't been an easy drive though, you know? Struggled through a lot of shit, you and I."
Johnny lets out a soft snort, nodding his head. He glitches to where he's sitting beside her. "Most people I thought were my friends couldn't stand to be in the same room with me. But you? You're the closest person to me I've ever had. Attached at the hip Twenty-four seven." A cigarette appears between his fingers. He lights it up with no hesitation, taking a drag before he speaks again. And even when he does he lets it dangle from his lips. "But it seems like you don't hate my living guts. A miracle maybe."
The smell of the smoke has become comforting. It calms her nerves. "Yeah well...you were a real dickwipe in the beginning." A small grin tugs at the corners of her lips and only grows when she hears him chuckle.
"To be fair you deserved it." It's not a venomous statement. More like teasing and playful. A smirk briefly passes over his lips as he takes another drag. "Come a long way from cussing and bitchin' me out every five minutes."
"Yeah and you haven't tried to kill me or whine for cigarettes in a while either so I guess we're even." Speaking of, she pulls out the metal cigarette case and lights one up. A peace offering. Mostly. There's a part of her that's been craving one ever since he started smoking his. "When you said you let your friends down, you mean Rogue? And if that's the case, you know you've already barged back into her life. Could at least make amends to her."
Johnny glitches again to where he's now standing up. His cigarette's been discarded. "Rogue, Kerry, Alt, Santiago...All of them and so many more." He looks around for a moment at everywhere but her. "I guess you're right. Already dug that hole. Maybe I need to just talk to her." At last his gaze lands back on V. He seems mostly back to his usual self sans the snark. "Promised her years ago I'd take her to the movies. V, would you do me a favor? Call her up and see if she's free sometime?"
Now she easily could have said no for the simple fact that that meant he'd get control of her body. The last time he got control he got her so fucked up, her guts felt like they were dying more than usual. But she can't say no to him. Not for something like this despite her better judgement. Fingers fidget with the dog tags that hang around her neck once she's stomped out her own cig. "Fuck it. Sure. I'll give her a call and set up a date." Lavinia replies, standing up. He looks happy for once. No mean smirk or smug grin. Just an actual smile.
"Thanks V, I appreciate that."
She gives him a nod and for a second seriously considers giving him a hug. That idea is quickly shut down. Everything's gone so well so far, she doesn't want to fuck it up and cross some line or scare him away. "Wish we could have talked like this before. Might have saved us both some brain cells." She stretches while letting out a small laugh. "But water under the bridge. How about we delta? I'm kind of hungry. Might grab a burger and a drink." The two start back towards where she's parked the Porsche. "I'll call Rogue tonight. Better give her some time to cool off."
The drive back into town is quiet save for the radio. She can't help but think about every moment they've had together that's led up to this one. He's been a pain in the ass, a real jerk. In a way though, she supposes she hasn't been too much better. Yet overtime she's found herself attached to him. It's nice knowing he's around. It makes the loneliness go away. It's more than that though. If someone asked her to describe how she felt about Johnny, words would fail her. The bond they shared was more than just romantic or platonic. It transcended love on all levels. He was apart of her but also more to her than anyone else has ever been. A glance out of the corner of her eye shows that he's just chilling in the passenger seat, carefree and unbothered. A wave of fear shoots through her. Fear that at the end she'll never see him again. Life wouldn't be the same without him, and she's not sure if she wants to live it that way.