Hisoka had twenty eight years of fighting experience, plus a studied nonchalant attitude that had intimidated and charmed people across the globe. He attributed these to hiding the fact that he wanted to throw up everything he'd eaten in the past 72 hours after Illumi Zoldyk slammed the breaks on, screeching their stolen car to a stop. He sat on the soft leather seats for ten extra heartbeats after Illumi climbed out and walked off, taking the time to unclench every muscle in his body. He hadn't feared death in a long time but the speed and reckless in which his business partner had taken turns had dented his devil may care attitude more than he'd like to admit.

"Illumi," he asked as he joined the tall dark haired man at the edge of the road.

"Hm?"

Hisoka threw an arm around Illumi's shoulder, and felt glee as Nen filled blood lust seeped into the air around them. "Who the fuck taught you to drive?"

….

Eight years earlier

….

"Goodbye Mother," Illumi said, tilting his head forward to revive his customary pat on the head (hugs had been discontinued at the age of five, Kikyo Zoldyk would not have it spread around that she spoiled her children). "I'll send you and Father a message once the job is done."

"Do us proud Illumi!" Kikyo called dramatically after her oldest son as he climbed into a car, her husbands arms suddenly circling her from behind, she leaned into his embrace as they watched the car peel away and rapidly gain speed as it headed for the testing gate.

"He's going to crash," Silva Zoldyk said mildly.

"Of course he's going to crash!" Shrieked Kikyo. "He's a terrible driver, yet another failing. Darling I do thing you could have taught him better, poor Milluki get sick every time I so much as mention Illumi driving him somewhere!"

Silva chuckled. "Don't try to pin this on me, Kikyo. You taught him to drive, remember?"

Kikyo sniffed "No I didn't, I never once taught him anything about cars. "

Silva turned her around so they were facing each other. "Kikyo…. I didn't teach Illumi to drive. He told me he'd learned one day, I assumed you'd taught him."

Kikyo's eyes widened and her head snapped towards the testing gate. "ILLUMI!"

….

Two years earlier than that

….

"I just plug it in?" Fourteen year old Illumi asked, holding the game cartridge up to the light as if trying to glean its secrets.

"No, put it in the console Aniki I just told you," Milluki snapped at his older brother, annoyed as always at having been lulled away from his gaming. "Why do you need a racing game anyway, you hate video games, you're terrible at them."

"Research," said Illumi.

Milluki narrowed his already small and shrew pig eyes. "What kind of research?"

Illumi shifted from one foot to another. "I can't always have the butlers drive me around to jobs, can I now,"

Milluki mulled this over in his nine year old brain. "Yeah that's true. But wait why can't you just ask mom and dad?"

Illumi shudder as he picked his way around the toys scattered in the hall and the white haired baby playing with them. "Trust me, they're busy."

"Doing what?" Milluki demanded. If it was making a new weapon of mass destruction he would demand to be involved.

Illumi silently turned his empty eyes upon baby Killua as he smashed two Kaiju figured together and laughed.

"Making a fourth."