I Can See The Lighthouse Through The Smoke
Meredith Grey, and how she makes her way back to her family again.
Spoilers through GA-S17-E07. With a twist, of course :).
"My mommy's gonna die?" Zola Grey-Shepherd yelps from the doorway, gawking at Amelia Shepherd and Atticus Lincoln who is currently rocking baby Scout in his arms.
"Well-" Amelia stutters before answering, choosing not to confirm or deny her statement that she never meant for her sister-in-law's eldest daughter to hear from her.
"I have to talk to her," Amelia sighs, flashing back to her childhood, and who she'd lost her father when she was young. How she had seen it. And how she had felt when it happened.
"What do you need?" Link asks her.
"Maggie, I need Maggie," says Amelia.
Link sends for Maggie, and Amelia brainstorms in her head what she can do to help Meredith's sister.
The numbers aren't looking good, and Teddy Altman is trying her best, but Meredith can't be taken off of the vent yet, and it's still sinking in that they'd had to put her on one in the first place.
Meredith is strong- Teddy knows this. She hadn't been around Seattle Grace for long when the woman had operated during a miscarriage during the hospital shooting, but the stories of the Grey girl even before then had been legendary.
The responsibility that she feels when she checks on Meredith is enormous; everyone cares for Meredith Grey. This hospital is her home, and all of them are her family.
All of them.
Teddy checks in on Meredith's numbers again. At least she's sleeping quite well these days.
It makes Teddy wonder what Meredith is thinking about…
"So you've seen a whole bunch of people on this beach," Meredith thinks to herself in her slumber. "It's a nice beach. Calm, serene. If I were awake I would take my kids here," Meredith imagines.
"Though it's a little morbid, because a lot of people that I see here are people who are gone, or about to go. It's a bit like my near-death whatever I had in my twenties when I was drowning. Or after I'd drowned. Or whatever."
"I think I could feel people around me at the time. I could hear faint voices of people talking about me. Caring for me. I think I even heard Addison's voice at the time…"
"And now I see Andrew DeLuca. Oh boy, that probably means that he's dying. At least he's dying a hero. And that he got to see his sister in the end," Meredith thinks to herself.
"And at least I got to see George again. And Derek- he was such a good father. For all that we've been through he was always a very good father…"
Amelia and Maggie take a long time to come to a conclusion about what to tell Zola.
And in the end, they finally decide on the truth.
"Can we stay here a little longer first?" Amelia asks Maggie.
"Of course we can," says Maggie.
It's funny- neither of them would have ever imagined this scenario years ago.
But no matter how they eventually found each other, they are sisters now, and they think of Meredith's kids as their family.
Bailey's asleep, and Richard Webber doesn't want to wake her.
She's been working so hard and it's been so terrible for her to have seen her mother dying.
Tom is recovering slowly, and Owen is recovering emotionally.
The interns are working against the impossible.
Nico and Levi are holding strong.
And at the very least, Carina has Maya. They're very good for each other.
Once Meredith sends Andrew DeLuca off to his mother, she feels hollow inside.
Another person that Meredith sees passes her by. "Everyone is leaving… And everyone is dying…" she once said after the plane crash.
That was when Mark and Lexie didn't make it, and Cristina moved away to Switzerland.
That was when Callie and Arizona stopped being happy.
And that was right before Bailey was born. So much has changed in her life, yet so little has. Meredith wonders what's going to happen next. She has honestly no idea.
They sit Zola down in the living room.
She has questions, and Amelia and Maggie aren't really sure they have answers.
"So, is she going to die?" Zola asks them outright.
"We don't know," Amelia eventually answers.
"Let's not tell Bailey and Ellis yet. Not until we have to," says Zola.
It breaks both of their hearts to see how young Zola had to be to be wise.
With things potentially going south, Teddy makes the difficult decision to call someone who she knows would never forgive her if she missed out on seeing Meredith before heaven forbid she might be gone.
"Cristina, she's not holding up that well. I think it might be time to think about paying her a visit…" Teddy sobs.
"I'll look into it right now, I'll be on my way," says Cristina.
There's not a lot of people that Cristina would take a plane for these days. They still scare the crap out of her, all these years later.
So she mainly stays around Europe, where there are trains and cars and busses. But if there are two people that Cristina would take a plane for, they'd be Meredith Grey, and Teddy Altman.
Meredith sits on the pier for a while, waiting for someone else to magically appear before vanishing.
She's gotten used to the eclectic nature of her present company at this point, and she's grown to enjoy it.
Soon enough she does see Lexie Grey, and Mark Sloan, and of course, they ended up together.
"Meredith!" Says Lexie in her overly-enthusiastic voice that Meredith once found terribly annoying, and now finds incredibly comforting.
"Hey," says Mark gruffly.
"Hey," says Meredith, as she greets them in passing. Apparently, Mark and Lexie, and Derek often hang out together in the afterlife. Go figure!
"There's someone I think you should tell thought," says Zola before she leaves Meredith's sisters.
"Who would that be, Zo?" Maggie asks her.
"I think you should call Addison. She'd want to know," says Zola.
"Who is?" Maggie asks briefly, and Amelia gives her the Cole's notes version.
"Her and Addison are friends. I think Addison would be sad if she never got to talk to Meredith again," says Zola.
"I'll call her," says Amelia. She knows what it feels like to not be the one getting a phone call.
Cristina arrives at three in the morning, and she has to isolate for at least ten days anyway.
She nervously fidgets around her hotel room, working from her tablet and her laptop as much as she can to keep up with her research.
Teddy calls her often to give her updates. Cristina is glad; she's missed Teddy's voice a lot.
Over the years no mentor has ever been more instrumental in shaping her; all of the others she's surpassed quickly, but not Teddy.
Teddy has always fought for her. And that's what Cristina spends her time contemplating.
She wonders what Meredith is contemplating these days.
Meredith sees her before she hears her, a long-legged, red-headed, still incredibly fabulous woman strutting down the beach in high-heels in a way that should really defy the laws of physics, but hey, physics is allowed to bend the laws of science from time to time in the afterlife.
When Derek appeared, the sand kept tripping her up and she couldn't get to him.
She hopes that this time it'll be different, because she wants to see Addison more than anything, and she bursts into a big smile when she sees Addison running towards her at the same time she starts running.
Addison does reach her, or she reaches Addison, and she doesn't care which either way. When they make contact with each other they fall to the sand, and Meredith hugs her friend harder than she ever thought possible.
"Addie- if you're here… If you're here with me now, it doesn't mean you're sick right? I mean you can't be. I hope you're not. I hope you're not dying like I might be dying, you have your son and-" Meredith rambles. She always rambles, but Addison lets her ramble for a little while before she shushes her.
"No, I'm not dying or ear dying," Addison chuckles. "I'm here because I'm here, I'm visiting you in Seattle. Amelia called me. And I'm glad that she did," says Addison, and Meredith bursts into happy crying. Addison pulls the blonde tighter, and Meredith clutches her shirt before she buries her head into her hair. It's been a long time since they've seen each other. And now they just have to hold each other.
***** END OF CHAPTER 1