No Harm, No Fowl
Author's Note: Enjoy the story and R&R.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of the Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL series.
Pairings: Established Yuma x Shobee. Referenced one-sided (canon) Kotori x Yuma, established (canon) Orbital x Obomi, established (canon) Tobio x Umimi, past (canon) Akari x Charlie.
Summary:
A bird museum. Not Tsukumo Yuma or Yuatsu Shobee's first choice for a date.
Shobee kept putting the cough drops away, crunching them down like they were regular candy. Shobee may not have looked his age, but Yuma doubted Shobee was so juvenile he'd be unaware the packet of clear yellow tablets he was munching on wasn't medicinal.
"What're those? Grape?" Yuma chose the dumb route.
"Lemonnnnn, damn you!" Shobee made sure to draw out the n.
A flake he was not.
"Are you trying to ruin your voice? I get you love heavy machinery, but you sure you want a construction worker's –" Yuma imitated the sound. "You sure you want that too?"
Stereotypes of this sort are never good, near or far, but Shobee kind of already had the start of that gruff, raspy smoker's muzumuzurhythm to him.
Shobee grunted. Honestly, he was just attempting to distance himself from the pileup of their "date." If this were a workplace setting, it was time they posted a zero on the "Days Since Last Accident" sign.
Who brings their date to a bird museum? A damn bird museum!
Who even knew Heartland had a bird museum?
OK. Museums weren't the problem. He'd be cool with anything related to motor graders and slipform pavers and articulated trucks. Starlings and great horned owls and batshit about bat guano, though? You might as well drive a steamroller over him, goddammit!
Yuma hadn't actually counted dragging Shobee to a bird museum a clever scheme. It was a recommendation by Cathy (because cats eat birds?) or by Orbital, a venue he and Obomi brought the Obabies to after they got "married." Yuma didn't care to remember which.
He didn't want to seem stale. How often could they duel the same Duel before it degenerated into repetitive gameplay? Criticisms toward Yuma's tactics were well-founded, Xyz Summoning Hope on the first turn of practically every Duel.
Ironically, his first Duel against Shobee held the honour of being one of those odd matchups he passed up Xyz Summoning on his first turn.
Blame his sister and her terrifying views on romance for leaving the impression their temtemtempo needed changing up, when the melomelomelody could've gone on infinitely! He took a chance she had an idea what she was talking about based off her past whatever with Charlie McCoy, the family friend who stole a Number to grant luck to his young niece's surgery, but he guesses there was more to romance he didn't understand.
Life is Carnival, huh? Then why'd it feel his luck had run out?
"I'm going."
"Where?"
"I hafta pee, you bastard!"
A hitch, son. A hitch. Yuma let Shobee do his business. Mandated union break.
Maybe this wouldn't stick. If only he could switch places with Astral and have him go on his date with Shobee instead. That would be funny!
Not for me. Astral recoiled telepathically.
"Relax, Astral. I wouldn't like that much either."
Lil' stud was worth hanging onto. Angry, rude, foulmouthed, and rough around the edges.
He didn't go through everything he went through with Kotori, decide he liked Shobee better, and all the close calls with his sister and grandma almost popping in on them macking in the attic, to blow it all on one boring trip to a museum!
More a boundaries issue than a blessings issue, since Akari and Haru both knew about Shobee and Yuma. As long as Yuma continued picking up Akari's annoying calls to help her follow up on news scoops and detain witnesses, and didn't forget to say thanks before each meal, it didn't bother them who he kissed between Kotori and Shobee.
Shobee's dad, on the other hand…SCARY! While Shobee lamented being named a short stack, little stuff, bite-sized, dinky, etc., his father stood on the opposite end of the scale. Yuma must've given himself neck pain, how long he spent staring up at him! Shobee's dad refrained from expressing his opinions on Yuma for his boy's sake, but the humongous presence of this man-mountain proved very intimidating for Yuma, whether he planned to demolish Yuma or not.
Maybe, as Charlie had done, Yuma ought to use No. 7 Lucky Stripe's luck absorption power. Straighten crap out and make it big with Shobee. A famous couple like Tobio and Umimi-pro? Millionaires even? Sheer awesomeness!
Also forbidden. Astral dashed that fantasy.
"Right?" Yuma agreed.
If you always saw the outcome…Always came through your battles unharmed…Where's the fun in duelling? In living?
That was repetitive gameplay!
"Hell-O? Yuma?" Yuma caught the orange of Shobee's armband at the base of his vision.
"Shobee. Sorry, can we go somewhere else? Tired of these papier-mâché falcons leering at me like I'm their lunch!"
"God, yes! Ornithology bites!" Shobee made fists.
As luck would have it, they didn't have to travel far. Yuma didn't depend on No. 7's infallible toss-ups. Going it Number-less, Yuma charged out of the museum, slapped his hands together, and piked to the nearest Do! Do! Donut in the style of a train's cowcatcher. Or a torpedo. Or a drill!
People were pissed why a weird kid was poking them, yet not a single one of them stepped out of line to reprimand him, probably to preserve their spots. They even stayed silent when it became obvious Yuma had no shame cutting to the front of the line!
Maybe they reckoned Yuma would notice his inconsiderateness and self-correct. Ha-ha! Chumps!
He confirmed he could do worse, busting out his Deck, to the line's chagrin.
"Loser pays?" He grinned down at Shobee.
Shobee smirked back. This damn idiot, he's really out here holding up the goddamn world?
"Double or nothing. I win, you supersize our order, Yuma!"