Two Pink Lines
Chapter 1
Sasuke stared down at the bar in front of him, barely paying attention to the noise going on around him. It was strange being back in Konoha after the war. If Sasuke was being honest, he wasn't sure that he was entirely comfortable being here. Sure, Naruto and Kakashi had managed to get him pardoned for the crimes that he had committed Sasuke still felt guilty. He'd damn near killed Naruto on more than once occasion, and yet the blue-eyed boy still called him friend. Naruto had dragged Sasuke out of his apartment to celebrate Naruto's engagement to Hinata, but Sasuke had made his way to the bar. His kindhearted best friend didn't seem to get that Sasuke didn't feel like celebrating. Not only did Sasuke still feel guilty about the things he'd done before the war, but it was approaching the third anniversary of his older brother's death. Sasuke just wanted to be alone to mourn in peace for the relationship that he would never have with the older man, who'd sacrificed himself for the village.
"No matter what, I'll love you always." Were the final words that Sasuke had heard from his dead brother. Words that Sasuke didn't think that he would ever be able to forget, and he sort of hoped that he wouldn't. He didn't want to forget the soft cadence of his brother's voice, it helped him on nights that he couldn't sleep well. Which wasn't often these days, he seemed to have too much that his brain wanted to remind him of.
Raising his drink to his lips, Sasuke hoped that it would help him forget the pain that he'd caused all those that he held dear. He knew that he'd caused Sakura Haruno just as much pain, if not more than he'd caused Naruto. Which was one of the reasons Sasuke couldn't bring himself to talk to her, he'd spent much of the night lost in his drink with his back towards her and Naruto. He hated that he was ruining Naruto's celebration with his bad mood, but he couldn't help it when Naruto had insisted that Sasuke join in the festivities. Sighing, Sasuke turned his head to watch Sakura offer Hinata a small smile before leaning over and hugging Naruto. Sasuke swallowed hard and turned back towards his drink. He raised it to his lips and finished it in a couple of swallows before placing it on the counter and ordering another, much stronger drink. The more he drunk the more likely he was to forget about all the pain that being back in the village brought. It hurt to think how much pain he'd caused his teammates, and it hurt knowing that the village had willingly sacrificed his brother and then had treated him like a criminal when he should have been hailed as a hero.
"You don't look like you're having much fun tonight." A firm voice said and Sasuke's head turned and watched as his former sensei sat down on a stool beside him. "Naruto's kind of noticed and it's bringing him down."
"To be fair I told Naruto that I didn't feel like coming tonight." Sasuke told the gray-haired man beside him. "I have a lot on my mind right now and being in the village is kind of making it hard after everything I've been through."
"You're having some trouble with memories I take it?" Kakashi asked, watching as Sasuke raised his drink and finished it in a couple of swallows.
"How could you tell?" Sasuke asked as he ordered another drink.
"Well, the way your drinking like a fish is a good indication." Kakashi replied dryly. "But you look like your pretty miserable." Sasuke shrugged, he wasn't sure that miserable was the right word for how he was feeling.
"Maybe I should just go home. I don't want to completely ruin Naruto's night." Sasuke murmured.
"Misery likes company you know." Kakashi told him. "Maybe you should find someone who is willing to listen, it could help more than you know." Sasuke shrugged, he didn't sleep around often, mostly when he just needed to feel something other than pain and misery.
"That doesn't sound like a bad idea." Sasuke murmured, glancing around him. There were plenty of girls that would be willing to go home with him, plenty that wouldn't want to talk about what was on his mind. Sasuke didn't want to share the painful memories that constantly plagued his mind. He didn't want to bother anyone with those issues.
"Having sex isn't going to make things any easier either." Kakashi said quietly. "I should know I've spent a lot of time trying to forget the mistakes that I've made."
"But it makes me feel better for just a little while." Sasuke murmured.
"It does do that, but the longer you do that the more often you'll be seeking out women to use." Kakashi replied. "Which I guess really isn't hard for you, but you need to open your eyes to the fact that both Sakura and Naruto hate to see you like this. They're waiting for you to open up to them."
"I don't want to burden them with my mistakes." Sasuke said as he waved the bartender down and ordered another drink. "They shouldn't have to live with the pain of my choices."
"They don't see it that way." Kakashi replied. "They see it to give you the help that you deserve. They don't want you to keep feeling guilty and ashamed of the things that you've done in the past."
"I tried to kill them." Sasuke said quietly. "How can they not hate me for that? How many times did I get close to taking Naruto from everyone that cares about him?" Sasuke could still hear his loud-mouthed best friend laughing over something that someone had told him.
"They're glad that you're home where you're safe." Kakashi said quietly. "They worried about you being away from the village. There's still those that would want to kill you for the things that you've done."
"I kind of wish that they would catch up to me." Sasuke said quietly. "I'm tired of feeling all this pain all the time. I drink to try and forget about it, but I ended up getting drunk and forgetting everything for the next several hours."
"Maybe you should seek some help." Kakashi said quietly. "I know a few people you could talk to; they wouldn't say anything about your situation." Sasuke shook his head, he appreciated the effort that Kakashi was making, but Sasuke didn't want to talk about the things that were going through his head. No one deserved to have to live with that kind of darkness.
"I can chase the darkness away with a few drinks." Sasuke replied. "And then a woman in my bed will ensure that I get some rest."
"It's a wonder that Sakura hasn't punched you into next week already." Kakashi murmured. Sasuke frowned. Why would Sakura care about what he done? She claimed not to have any more feelings for him. Which Sasuke was really starting to wonder about, Sakura never seemed to date anyone, she was always alone when she went out with Naruto and Sasuke, and Naruto brought Hinata along and sometimes Sasuke brought along whatever woman he was sleeping with at the time.
"Why would she care?" Sasuke asked. "It's not like she cares about me anymore."
"You're killing yourself; the drinking is going to harm your liver and you kind of need that to live." Kakashi replied. "She doesn't like the path you're going down, and quite frankly, neither would Itachi." Sasuke swallowed hard at the mention of his brother's name. It had been almost three years now since he'd lost Itachi, and even though he'd been reanimated in the war, it had only brought back the pain of his loss.
"Itachi wouldn't want to see you doing this to yourself." Kakashi said gently. "He would want you to be happy."
"I'm not sure that I know how to do that anymore." Sasuke said quietly, as he closed his eyes, he could feel the alcohol starting to work, he enjoyed the buzz. When he was drunk, he could easily admit to wanting to die, not that he was going to let his former team leader know that. He feared that if he mentioned that Kakashi wouldn't leave him alone.
"Don't let your memories drag you down, you've more than made up for the mistakes that you've made." Kakashi said. "Morning will always chase out the darkness when it's time for the sun to rise."
"But the darkness always comes back." Sasuke murmured as he ordered another drink. He wouldn't need many more before he forgot his own name, which meant he would be able to find a woman to go home with so hopefully he'd end up getting some rest.
A few minutes later someone else took the seat that Kakashi had just vacated, Sasuke didn't bother to raise his head. He was tired of talking, all he wanted to do was get drunk and then find someone to have sex with.
"You shouldn't drink so much you know." A female voice said quietly. "You're destroying your liver."
"At this point, I'm willing to accept death." Sasuke replied. "But I'm too much of a coward to do it myself."
"People love you and don't want you to harm yourself." The woman said. Sasuke shrugged.
"I'm the last Uchiha, everyone wants a piece of me. They want to be the one that I settle down with. Not that that's going to happen anytime soon." Sasuke muttered.
"I hate seeing you like this." The female murmured as she quietly ordered a drink. "I can't imagine what's going through your head right now, but drinking isn't going to fix what you're feeling."
"I suppose you know what can?" Sasuke asked, turning to see a nearly drunk Sakura sitting beside him. His eyebrows shot up; it wasn't often that one saw Sakura drink too much.
"Spending more time with those that care for you will help." Sakura murmured. "We could chase away the darkness if you would let us."
"Why are you drinking?" Sasuke asked. "Don't you have to work in the morning?"
"I took a couple days off." Sakura murmured. "I've been working too much lately and needed a break."
"So why are you drinking?" Sasuke asked, his voice slurring slightly. She shrugged.
"I'm surrounded by so much happiness." Sakura murmured. "and it's making my head spin."
"Or maybe that's the drink." Sasuke said, as he stood up. He was going to take Sakura home; he wasn't going to let any of the men taking advantage of her when she was in this state. Glancing around him, he noticed that several men were staring at her with lustful gazes. Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he shot them a glare, he wasn't leaving her with them watching her.
"Where are you going?" Sakura asked.
"I'm taking you home." Sasuke said quietly. "I'm not letting you get taken advantage of by those creeps." He reached down and gently took a hold of her hand and helped her to her feet.
"I may not be in love with you, but I'm man enough to protect you from those that want to hurt you." Sasuke said quietly. Sakura shook her head. She didn't want to leave but at the same time she couldn't handle being surrounded by Naruto's happiness anymore. She wanted to go home and drown her sorrows and her love for Sasuke in a bottle of wine. It was easy to tell the last Uchiha that she wasn't in love with him, but it was much harder to tell her heart that kind of news.
Ten minutes later, Sasuke was walking Sakura up to her apartment door.
"Do come in for a few minutes?" Sakura asked as she opened the door, and stepped inside and flipped the light switch on the wall flooding the small room with light.
"I don't know that I should." Sasuke said quietly. "I don't want people to think there is something going on when there's not."
"No one is going to think that." Sakura said quietly. "Everyone else knows that you'll sleep with everyone but me."
"Sakura." Sasuke said quietly. "I don't want to ruin our friendship, those women I sleep with, I never talk to again. I don't want that to happen with you. I know you say that you don't care about me, but I can see the truth in your eyes, I don't want to hurt you. Nothing good could come from loving me." Sakura stared at him, blinking quickly.
"How do you know?" Sakura asked quietly. "Maybe I could help chase away the darkness that you are feeling."
"I don't know that anyone can help with that." Sasuke answered honestly, watching as Sakura approached him and placed her hands on his chest.
"Let me, I can do more than just heal physical wounds." Sakura said quietly, she wanted to be everything that Sasuke needed. Sasuke swallowed hard, he was more than a little drunk and at that point his body was willing to accept anyone and anything, but his heart didn't want to damage someone as sweet and loving as Sakura.
"I can help you." Sakura said quietly. "I know you don't think I can handle that kind of relationship, even if it's just the one night I promise I can help."
"Someone like you deserves someone less damaged than me." Sasuke murmured as he reached out and touched Sakura's face, her pleading green eyes was almost too much to handle. There's something about her eyes that made him weaker and wanted to give in to her demands. He just didn't want to damage her, not the way he was damaged.
"I want to be able to help you." Sakura said quietly. "I know you believe that no one can love you because your so damaged but that's not true. I love you just the way you are."
"And that's why I need to walk away right now." Sasuke said quietly. "But I can't." He reached out and placed his hands against the wall, leaving Sakura trapped in between them. "I think I'm damned stupid for doing this, but I think you need someone tonight as much as I do. Fuck me, I don't think I can walk away knowing that you need someone." Sasuke swallowed hard and lowered his mouth Sakura's neck. He was sure he was making a mistake but at the same time his body was desperate to feel even a little bit of pleasure.