Hello!
This plot bunny has been bugging my mind for several days already so I decided to just go for it even though I have no clear idea how it would end.
Initially, I was thinking to make it as a long one-shot kind of story but as it's already dawn here and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, I decided to make it as a short multi-chapter one. The next part hopefully would be finished in a few days.
Until then, please enjoy!
P.s. if you have anything you would like to see in this story, I would be open to suggestion :)
Howard and Raj quickly took a seat in front of Sheldon in the cafeteria. It's a normal routine for them to eat together during lunch hour and today is no different. The only thing missing is Leonard but then again his latest project is time-consuming.
"So, how was it?" Raj asked Howard while taking a small bite of his ham sandwich.
Sheldon looked up from his phone but when he noticed that Raj is not talking to him, he returned to his texting as it was quite urgent for him to inform his wife that he would need her to take him to an impromptu grocery shopping after work today.
"Bernie and I talked about it. She said she would consider it." Howard replied after taking a sip of his ice tea.
"Nice. I never try it but I always heard that it was-"
Before he could reply, Leonard took a seat next to Sheldon and cut him off, "Try what?"
Raj and Howard shared a secretive look before Howard answered him while glancing at Sheldon who seemed to be preoccupied with his phone, "You know, the one we talked about wanting to try out a few days ago."
Leonard grinned stupidly, "Ohh, that! Yeah, you really should! Penny was the one who suggested it to me and well I was quite unsure but surprisingly-"
Feeling a bit left out, Sheldon put down his phone and decided to join the conversation, cutting Leonard off momentarily, "I'm sorry, gentlemen. I was just telling Amy that we had miscalculated the amount of milk we need for our cereal this week. It must be because the amount of baking Amy had been doing these past few days that made us run out of milk sooner than my calculation predicted. What are we talking about again?"
The three other occupants of the table shared another secretive look as they are not sure how to broach the subject to Sheldon.
"Buddy, I don't think you'd like to know it." Leonard answered cautiously.
Sheldon raised an eyebrow at that and with a frustrated sigh he replied, "I'm sure I would like to know. Once my curiosity is picked, there is no turning back. Come on, lay it on me."
"Are you sure? It's just, this topic might not be something you would be most comfortable to discuss."
"Yes, Leonard. I'm sure." Shaking his head at Leonard's stupidity. Leonard has known him for more than two decades already. He should know better that he could not just let it rest without knowing what it was.
"It's sexual in nature, Sheldon." Howard answered.
That gives him a pause but does not deter him from wanting to know.
"I don't mind. As you know, Amy and I have been engaging in regular coitus now so whatever you were discussing, I can assure you is no longer unfamiliar territory for me."
"Yeah, we don't need to know that." Raj replied while shaking his head at Sheldon's logic. Despite no longer being a virgin, Sheldon is still the most innocent guy of them all and a lot of things he does with Amy would still be painfully vanilla. Raj then shuddered at the thought of Sheldon having sex.
Wiping his mouth, Howard then looked up at Sheldon and answered, "It's about using toys in the bedroom, Sheldon."
Leonard grinned stupidly again at Howard, "Howard wants to try it with Bernadette but not sure how to broach the subject so he asked me. I tried it several times already with Penny and it was-"
"Why would you want to play with toys during coitus? I don't think playing with toys when you are supposed to concentrate on your wives would be a polite thing to do, not to mention unsanitary." Sheldon shuddered at the thought of his model train anywhere near Amy's rear end.
Howard chuckled mockingly at the answer, "This is why we don't talk about this around you, Sheldon."
Sheldon frowned at the rude comment but he still does not get it. Isn't it impolite to be focusing on something else while sharing an intimate moment with your significant other? He remembers when he brought up the subject of wanting to start the Flash series while making out with Amy on their fifth anniversary and suddenly Amy's kissy face turned into an angry face which in the end, led to their break-up. If thinking about something else other than your woman while being intimate with her could ignite that kind of reaction, he wouldn't even imagine what Amy would do to him if he decided to play with one of his model trains during their most private moment.
"Sheldon, what Howard meant is using sex toys in the bedroom. You know, like a vibrator, dildo or for starters, a handcuff."
"Now you want to tie her down? Like being married to you guys is not enough?" Sheldon asked incredulously. What's wrong with these people? First they want to play with toys and now those said toys are used to make sure their woman could not get away from their sexual advancement. What if they don't want to? Does consent mean nothing to his friends?
"No, no, Sheldon. It's like a foreplay. Think about it this way, you like to kiss Amy right before you go down to business?" Raj tried to explain.
Sheldon nodded but still looked at his friends worriedly. Should he talk to Penny and Bernadette about their husbands' plan or should he just go straightaway to the police before they do something they would regret later on especially in the heat of the moment?
"Some people like it vanilla, like you. Kissing your woman, caressing her, touching her and for these people, such acts are enough to ignite pleasure. Other people, however, like to spice things up so it would not get boring hence the toys and handcuff."
Leonard nodded at the explanation and decided to add something, "Yeah, some people find it really pleasurable when they are tied down and being left at the mercy of their partner. That's why they use a handcuff or scarf, or just tie if you don't have any."
"Bernadette seems to be more receptive to the use of vibrators though." Howard added happily.
This resulted in a chuckle from Leonard and Raj, "You lucky dog!"
"I'm sorry, gentlemen. I'm still not sure of how being tied down without the ability to get away from you is pleasurable and I don't understand how a vibrator could add simulation to a female's genitalia, not to mention what is exactly a dildo anyway?"
"Don't be like that, Sheldon. Just because you and Amy like to take it painfully vanilla, doesn't mean other people enjoy the same thing." Leonard commented.
"Poor, Amy. Never knows any better." Raj said as he shook his head.
"Excuse me? Why did you say poor Amy? I assured you I can satisfy my wife just fine!" Bothered by the comments, Sheldon quickly stood up and threw away his remaining lunch and stormed out of the cafeteria.
"Told you guys we shouldn't bring Sheldon into this."
Later that night while laying down next to his wife after an unscheduled coitus which may or may not be prompted by his friends' doubt of his sexual prowess, Sheldon couldn't shake the feeling that he was wrong while his friends were right.
He remembered the first time he had given himself away to Amy and how satisfied her face looked, with dreamy eyes and small smile playing on the corner of his wife's mouth that lasted for several days after that. In the time where they shared a night at the cabin while playing Never Have I Ever with Penny and Leonard, Amy had also said that he rocked her world. He's quite convinced then that the term he's always good at everything he does also includes his performance in the bedroom, after all Amy is always so enthusiastic whenever he indicates that he wants to be intimate with her.
Right now, however, he couldn't help but notice the different level of excitement compared to their first time. He always makes sure to bring his wife to orgasm first before seeking his own, sometimes more than once but is it not enough like his friends said? Does it get too mundane after several times doing it considering the technicality is more or less the same? Does this what it means to spice things up?
His mind wandered to the first fight they shared as a married couple on the subject of him having a schedule for their sexual endeavor. He remembered Amy's refusal to follow his to-do-list by saying that she's not in the mood to be intimate with him. That was the second time she refused to be intimate. The first one being her refusal to procreate with him a few years ago. He does not understand. She's the one who suggested that their combined DNA would create a highly evolved progeny and it was only after their first time meeting each other and then about her refusal after they got married, wasn't it what she wanted? For him to be more physical with her? What has changed?
He could not help but wonder, does that mean Amy is getting tired of being intimate with him? Does Amy feel having coitus with him is not as enjoyable as he finds it to be? Amy refused him just several days after their marriage and now he could notice the difference in her enthusiasm level compared to the first time they made love.
Oh no! His mind started to panic. What would become of them if he could not perform his husbandly duty to her? He does not want her to find him boring or unsatisfactory because such thoughts could lead to resentment and before he realized it, she would try to find solace in another man's arms. Does this make his dad cheat on his mom? He does not want it to happen to his marriage.
"Hey, Sheldon. What's wrong?" Amy took a notice of her husband's quickened heartbeat and labor breathing.
Looking down at her, Sheldon gently kissed her forehead and drew her closer into his arm.
"Amy, are you satisfied with our physical relationship?" He asked straightforwardly.
Amy looked up to her husband, looking a bit confused by the question before answering "What makes you ask that?"
"Just something Leonard, Howard and Raj said today."
"I guess yes. I enjoyed what we have right now." Sheldon kissed her nose at her answer, momentarily satisfied with it before another insecurity creeps up to him again.
"Are you sure? I don't want you to answer me with an answer you thought I will be most satisfied with, Amy."
She rubs his arm in comfort, "Yes, Sheldon. What did Leonard, Howard and Raj talk to you about?"
"They said that they want to tie their women down with a handcuff and use a vibrator on them along with another toy called a dildo. I don't know what it is! They said because I'm too painfully vanilla, I will not understand the pleasure of doing it. They were right, Amy! The thought of doing that to you terrifies me!"
He answered while blushing furiously but such embarrassment stopped abruptly when he saw Amy's disappointed face. Oh no, they were right. Amy is going to leave me because I couldn't satisfy her.
"Why does the thought of doing those things terrify you?"
"I-I don't want to force myself on you, Amy. I love you too much. I couldn't hurt you intentionally and to be honest, how could anyone think forcing oneself to another person is pleasurable? I don't know what people think in California but from where I come from, that is considered rape!" He started to breath faster now. No matter how much he loves his wife, the thought of tying her down and just taking what he wants from her body is just too much to bear. How could anyone think such an act is pleasurable?
Amy's hand on his cheek stopped him from an oncoming panic attack. She forced his eyes to meet hers and he could see the concern on her face, "Sheldon? Sheldon? Hey, we would not be doing that if you don't want to, okay?"
He nodded numbly but still couldn't shake the feeling that he had disappointed her somehow considering the look on her face right after he asked her that question, "Are you disappointed?"
Amy looked thoughtful for a moment before deciding to give him an honest answer, "I guess, I'm always curious what it would feel like to spice things up. Penny likes to tell us what she had tried with Leonard and her exes in the bedroom and maybe those stories made the scientist in me want to try them out but it's okay if you don't want to. We can just be Sheldon and Amy. Not to mention, I have my electric toothbrush, Gerald, to give me, at least, an idea of what vibrator feels like." With this she gave him a wink and curled up on her right side of the bed to sleep.
Instead of reassuring him, her answer rattled him more than before.
He remembered Penny's story about Amy's toothbrush from a few years ago which in the beginning made him feel unsettled but did not prompt him to do anything about the information and when they started to get physical, he thought that she does not need to have it anymore as he could easily achieve what she used that toothbrush for.
Oh Lord! Despite saying the other thing, she clearly is not satisfied with him alone!
His rational part of the brain thought that it is completely ridiculous to be jealous of an inanimate object but the other part that controls the more irrational thoughts trumps his rational argument at the moment. It may start with a toothbrush right now but what if it evolves to another man? Someone who is taller, more handsome, and definitely more willing to do those things with Amy that he's afraid to do.
She would not leave him, right? After all, their best connection is their mind, not their physical relationship. As long as he could keep this connection alive by challenging her mind, she will always be with him and no one else but then his mind wandered again to the collaboration she had with Howard and the time she gave her insight to Barry Kripke out of all people. Amy has no qualms in collaborating with other men. In fact, if he remembered correctly, she's so enthusiastic to collaborate with others that she almost would be the first one to suggest such collaboration!
He always hates it when she collaborates with others especially because it always takes a lot of her free time but what he hates the most is, he always finds their intellectual connection is what makes their relationship so special. If she could find the same connection with basically every other man in her life, what chance does he have now? Considering their physical relationship is going down the drain.
He couldn't lose her. He doesn't know what he would do if Amy leaves him. Amy always takes care of him. Sweet, gentle, loving, and kind Amy who could have anyone in the world but generous enough to stay with him, even marrying him, despite his many flaws and quirks. How long before Amy realizes that he's not enough?
Consumed by insecurity and fear of Amy abandoning him, he snuggled her from behind to relish the fact that she's his. For now his traitor mind supplied. He sleeps restlessly after that.
Thank you!