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Chapter 49: "…With just despair for company …"
Asuka just sat there and purged the last of the LCL from her hair, while she stared at the translucent figure. If anything, it was a nice distraction from the sharp pains of injections sporadically occurring across her back.
"Alright, last one," Ritsuko said as she flinched from another stab of pain in her back. Seconds later, the metallic clang of the injection gun being placed down signaled the end of her 'treatment'.
"You know, I'm amazed at the progress so far."
Asuka just kept her eyes on the small silhouette in front of her, unmoving, unchanging, it had simply stood there each time she had come to Akagi for her treatment. Usually, it stuck to when she was in LCL, now it was always there, silently watching.
"You're well above the projected recovery estimates. It's only been two weeks but I would have thought you'd been at this for one or two months." The woman said as she grabbed a clipboard and scribbled something down before looking up to the girl. "Is there anything out of the ordinary you want to talk about?"
"To you?" Asuka snarled, "no."
Ritsuko shrugged but was unsurprised at the rebuke. Asuka had made it no secret her disdain for the woman, and if, no, when, she got to talk to Misato, she'd ask for a replacement. Whether that would change the amount of pain the girl felt when she got supplemental injections, was up for debate.
Asuka grabbed her crutches and pushed herself up, wobbling slightly to find her balance. It was humiliating, but it was better than being pushed around in a wheelchair, always having someone hovering over you, and never getting a second of peace.
She could almost hear Shinji's voice, telling her to take it easy, that her body would need time to heal, and all too often the ghost of his words was something she relied on too much.
"Remember don't push it, or I'll be forced to take those away." Ritsuko reminded her as she found her balance.
The girl mumbled an insult under her breath as she made her way out of the room, both the woman and small silhouette leaving her sight.
These sessions had gotten better, that was an undeniable fact, the first time she had been put in the LCL vat, had been a pleasant relief to her body. In the vat her lungs were no longer strained, her limbs weren't supporting the full weight of her body, and she had a small sense of how she should have felt. Thought, there was something off.
She couldn't remember a time when the feeling and smell of LCL had been discomforting. No, it had always been her home, the seat of an entry plug had always been the spot where she felt right in the world. At least until she met Shinji.
The tank she had been spending time in recovering wasn't the same, but… it wasn't that different, and her reaction hadn't gone unnoticed by Ritsuko.
The first time she had been submerged is when she saw it for the first time. The silhouette that she couldn't quite place but recalled from a blurry memory. A haze that came over her mind when Asuka tried to recall exactly where she had seen it before.
Ritsuko had noticed, whether it was her reaction to something unseen or the spike in biometrics, it had been embarrassing to continually reaffirm the doctor that she was, in fact, fine in the same environment she had trained for years in. All that combined to just sour each meeting they had, though the fruit of her labors was undeniable, she was walking again or at least hobbling.
So, she hobbled through the small halls of her residency, making her way gingerly over the lower lips of bulkheads. Today she hadn't been all too annoyed to visit her doctor because she knew exactly what she was going to do right after.
Asuka had gotten the information from some loose-lipped officer in the mess hall, the type that you wondered how they had been promoted in the first place. The commander would be free roughly around this time, and if the girl was lucky, she'd be able to find her.
Thirty minutes later, however, Asuka was beginning to doubt it.
She had scoured the levels, listening around corners to officers speaking, peering into each and every room she could. Asuka even found the captain's quarters but was left disappointed by its vacancy.
What would Shinji do?
Shinji wouldn't have let this go to waste. No, Shinji would think of a way to find Misato, or maybe he'd just know where she was, much to her annoyance. The boy had always held some kind of answer.
Finally, she decided on one last place to look, one last flight of stairs before she gave up her search.
In all, the bridge wasn't as grandiose as she expected.
For what few crew members were there, each of them had their heads down working on their stations, no one cared to notice the redhead in loose-fitting civilian clothing, hobbling with crutches onto the bridge, unannounced, uninvited, and unauthorized.
Asuka didn't think of any of these things at that moment, she was too busy drinking in the wonderous view provided to her through the panorama of glass. The bright sky contrasted harshly against the red waters in which they sailed, and around them, an armada of ships cut through the waves, leaving white trails of foam behind them.
It was a far cry from the dull colors she had been forced to endure while in the belly of the ship.
Battleships, cruisers, destroyers, frigates, tankers, supply ships, and other carriers all powered along through calm waters. If she didn't understand the power of an Evangelion, she would have thought she was in the middle of an unstoppable force.
However, their own ship and many other carriers didn't appear ready for any form of combat, the flight deck was cluttered with all sorts of clutter. Makeshift shelters, tents, and pole buildings grew off it to make the entire flat top look more like a ship overgrown with vegetation than anything else.
Actually, was that a garden she was seeing?
"Did Cymbeline sort out her reactor problems?"
Asuka knew that voice. It was older but unmistakable, she had been on the receiving end of that firm tone once before when she had struck a nerve with the woman over Shinji's mother. Suddenly, she felt a sense of nostalgia for that moment, she wanted to find herself sitting at the kitchen table once more, eating that delicious breakfast instead of the slop served to them here.
Misato.
The girl hobbled her way around console islands and to behind the commander, who was given reassurance by the communications officer she had posed the question to.
"Tell them they have 2 hours to fix it, we're running slow because of them." She ordered, before straightening up and turning, only to come face to face with Asuka.
Each of them just stood there, one hunched over, supporting a broken body, and the other standing straight, appearing as an unshakable figure. A few wandering eyes looked between the two before their noses were pulled back to their own screens, unaware of the thoughts in either of their heads.
Asuka found herself looking up at the woman with a sense of hope. She wanted nothing more than for the woman to give her a reassuring pep talk, to show an ounce of that cheerful optimism the girl had found so annoying once. Even if she were to crack one joke, that would be alright with her, or just the smallest reassuring smile. What she hadn't expected was what came next.
"Who gave you permission to enter the bridge Pilot Shikinami?"
A confused 'what' was all that escaped Asuka's lips. Permission? To talk to her?
"Exactly what are you doing here?"
"Um…" Asuka fumbled her words as she was bombarded with a glare she had never seen from the woman, "I wanted to talk?".
The commander did not break off her glare, instead, she just let the words hover for a moment. Asuka couldn't see what was wrong with that explanation, she hadn't been able to speak with the woman for two whole weeks, what exactly was the problem?
"This is not the time."
The words came across in such a blunt manner that Asuka didn't have any quick retort. Where was that warm smile she had hated? Where was the cheerful demeanor of her guardian? Where was the woman who forced her into a 'harmonizing' situation with Shinji?
Shinji. Would she speak to her like this if it was Shinji asking to talk? Would she ignore Shinji for two whole weeks if he had gone through what she was going through? Would Shinji be forced to wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares and not have anyone to go to?
No.
But she wasn't Shinji.
"Wha... What are you talking about!?" Asuka shouted, earning another glance from those around her. "I've been awake for two weeks and you haven't even come to see me!"
Misato frowned at the outburst, before turning to a door leading to a catwalk just outside, "Pilot, I think we should step outside for a moment."
Asuka could feel the bridge crew's eyes behind her as she followed, but couldn't have known about the small packages being quietly exchanged between crewmembers, each placing bets on the severity of the reprimand that they believed was about to occur.
Outside the wind rang in her ears but shielded by the tower Asuka was more than capable of having a conversation with the older woman. Though it appeared it would be anything but the conversation she had wanted.
"First," Misato raised a finger "I'll allow that prior outburst due to the stressful situation you must've been going through."
"I…" Asuka started but was cut off.
"Second," the woman raised a second finger, "you will address me as Captain and a superior officer."
"But…"
"Third," A final finger was raised, "as your superior, I don't have time to talk with you Asuka, this isn't four years ago. Unit-02 will be operational when resources allow it, until then your job is to prepare to pilot again, that's what you want correct?"
Asuka nodded slowly, unsure of whether she even had a choice in the first place. There was no Tokyo-03, no base to protect, no purpose for her life's dedication outside of fighting.
The Eva was all she had.
What exactly was she supposed to do now? There was nothing else.
The woman swiftly turned to and began to enter the bridge but was stopped just as she gripped the door's latch.
"If you want to know about Shinji," Asuka spoke up, her voice cold, "ask yourself, don't have your lapdog do it."
Misato said nothing and went inside, closing the hatch behind her and leaving the girl standing there alone on the catwalk.
ʡʘʘʘʢ
Misato just stood there and stared at it.
It just sat there, a relic from a bygone era, something that didn't belong here, that had outlived its usefulness. A part of her wanted to touch it, to feel the rubbery lining, to have a chill run through her hand at the metal components, if for nothing else then to confirm that all this was real, everything that had transpired over the last few days wasn't some dream.
Another part of her, a part that had protected her for years, dared not even reach out to it.
In her captain quarters, the commander had been petrified for 10 minutes just looking at the plug suit folded neatly on her bed.
A knock on the door forced Misato to move and allowed Ritsuko into the room, while the commander checked over documents on her desk.
"The damaged was enough that we'll have to have a meeting, I informed the officers that it'll be in the next 30 minutes," Ritsuko said, not looking up from her datapad.
"Fine." Misato leaned back in her chair, rubbing her eyes. She truly had wanted to get some rest, but that could come after.
The doctor looked up, only to have her eye caught by the blue mass at the edge of the bed. "Haven't touched it?"
Misato said nothing, she knew exactly what the woman was referring to without even opening her eyes.
"He can still be used as a trigger, we'll have to go after him eventually."
"Yeah," Misato agreed, the exhaustion in her voice evident, but none the less she stood up and moved towards the door, "We have supplies to recover first, then we'll go."
"You really think she's going to want to hear that?" Ritsuko asked, frowning, but following.
"No, but it's not her decision."
ʡʘʘʘʢ
"Alright, I want critical repairs done in 24 hours and auxiliary repairs done in 36. Dismissed"
Misato took a deep breath as the rumble of dozens of chairs being emptied filled the room. A few nods and salutes were all she received as the officers funneled out of the room, leaving only the captain herself remaining.
Taking a seat, she placed her hat down on the table and slouched in the chair. It was rare to have such meetings these days. She was used to simply being obeyed, for others to figure out the details without her, her rank and the admiration of those under her gave her such a privilege.
However, there were days where she found herself remembering the hushed tones of NERV personnel surrounding a dimly lit table, throwing out ideas to combat a new Angel and completely naive to the true purpose of NERV. Days when she could commandeer prototype positron rifle or ask children to 'catch' a falling Angel. Days when she could almost remember relishing the plans she would concoct and the details surrounding them or lack thereof.
Some days, she would give almost anything to be back in Tokyo-3 again.
The hiss of the door opening again brought her back to reality, and the mop of red hair signaled to her that she was not going to enjoy this conversation.
"What's the plan?" Asuka practically barked.
"Plan?" Misato responded lazily.
"Shinji." She said, as if it were so obvious, "How are we going to get him back?"
"First of all, we don't even know where he is…"
"Don't be stupid," Asuka cut her off, "we know exactly where he is."
Misato sighed, why was it that she had to be so difficult.
"We could use the contingency plan; we'd be able to sneak in before their defenses could detect us."
"Most of those defenses are left over from Tokyo-3's, they couldn't hurt us now even if they tried," Misato mused, "but that's not the issue."
"Then what is?" Asuka growled.
"Wunder needs repairs, that'll take long enough, and we have a supply drop near Bikini Atoll we're in transit to now."
"So, we're not going to do anything? We're just going to leave him to his father? You heard what he said, he was confused, he…"
"Knew about his father's plans from the beginning." Misato finished her sentence, "He confirmed that much, what does that tell you?"
Asuka gritted her teeth "Even if he was working for his father, it doesn't matter, they could still use him to start another impact, you know that!"
"I do, but I also know you. Don't pretend this is about that Asuka, you're too close to this. I thought you gave up being this blind."
"Don't…"
"What pilot? Remind you exactly why that brace is on your leg?" Misato said, raising her hand to catch the slap from the girl, "I gave you the first one, but this is exactly why I didn't tell you when we found him. Despite all these years, you're still attached to him."
"I don't know what I feel." Asuka admitted, "But at least I still feel something."
Misato said nothing, she just let go of the girl's wrist and watched as Asuka walked away.
You know, I think Asuka just wanted someone to give her a hug and tell her everything is going to be alright. I don't think that's too much to ask. It should have been Misato, but damn that hedgehog strikes again, opening up to Shinji only to have that massively backfire? Oof. This is the feeling I got between the two in 3.0, this abrasive, almost-ruined relationship, and I thought it would be fun to build on it.
SHOUTOUTS!
MooseTracks101 – And more Karl you shall receive!
gyugya16 – Yeah, sorry about the month wait…
EvaPilotFair- Thanks!
YodaMorpheus7 – 'If Rei is real, then Soryu is real'… perhaps we'll find out soon….
dyinglittelstar – Thanks!
NoseGum – Yeah… 2 dudes chilling in a base for 14 years alone but are able to accomplish so much… would it have killed anyone to give just a bit of explanation?
calborghete – Thanks!
engel17white – Two travels with paths intertwining perhaps?
Berix – Thanks! Hit me with those typos!
Mr. Mojo – 'My death was greatly exaggerated' lol
Guest – 4D chess mind games
IllusoryMist – Thanks man!
skyf0x – Thanks! I think there are just things that could have been essentially been fixed with minimal effort. Two dude hanging out alone for 14 years being one of them haha. I'm sure Fuyutsuki would have been tampering at the very least to keep himself busy. I think Gendo has always been willfully blind, it's his nature, Yui above all else, just like a how a certain boy feels about a Asuka hmmm? Kaworu will be fun, next chapter and beyond!
UltraSpink of Da USA – I think Rebuild Gendo is blinded so much more in her quest for Yui, even to forget she asked him specifically to take care of Shinji. I do think that one little detail really changes how we feel about Gendo and even that he almost tried in 2.0 at some sort of a connection, however fleeting that effort was.
tomdj1701 – Yeah… they SHOULD be looking for him.
Mango eater 24 – Wow, binged the whole thing? That's quite a feat.
Sorry for the long wait, the holiday season just kinda had me putting this off. The next few chapters should come in quick succession (hopefully), and it will be all Shinji for a few. Happy New Year guys!
Until Next Time