Technoblade did not take the hound army on walks.
That would imply a certain sense of control he simply did not have over them. Technoblade took himself on walks, with the hound army coming along so they could stretch their legs, run freely around the forest, and bark at any mob or animal that they came across.
He didn't have enough leashes for all of them anyway. Instead, twice a day he would go to the paddock and open the gate and see which dogs wanted to join him for a stroll. Usually, a good ten to twenty of them were eager to take off, which meant that between those two daily walks and Phil or Ranboo occasionally taking a few hounds along when they went on a trip, all of them got the exercise they needed to stay happy and healthy.
When he came back he would change their water and feed them, make certain the dog house was clean, and brush the ones whose fur had gotten messed up by the Arctic weather. But today as he was standing by the gate to get them all back inside, Technoblade knew he had returned with one less dog than he had set out with. He didn't even have to trust his own memory on the matter - though he did, he was very good at keeping track of his dogs - Chat always counted how many hounds had joined their walk and they too were confirming his suspicion that he was missing one.
The voices could not be trusted, generally. But when it came to their love for the hounds, Techno knew it was something they wouldn't lie about.
He put his fingers to his mouth and whistled, hoping the straggler had just become distracted and was busy sniffing around near their cabins. After a minute of waiting, he sighed.
"I guess we're going back for it, right?" Rhetorical, Technoblade was planning to either way. But Chat's outrage at him for even implying he'd leave the dog to fend for itself sent them into hysterics and it was almost endearing, if not very amusing.
Retracing his steps, it didn't take him long to find the missing hound. And even less time for Technoblade to realize why it hadn't followed him home. A little while ago a blizzard had plagued their area – Techno had spent a good three days sleeping through it – and it had left many of the surrounding waters partly frozen over. Rivers and lakes with a thin sheet of ice on them, deceptive in their sturdiness.
The dog was sitting hunched on the glacial surface, tail tucked between its paws and whining softly. It must have wandered onto the ice during the walk, it being only barely out of being a pup meaning its weight wasn't as much of an issue as some of its pack mates. But the continuous pressure still had led to ridges forming, cracks appearing from where swirling water seeped through and made it clear that icy cold water lay beneath. Too scared to move in any which direction, the animal was frozen in a panicked state.
And Technoblade knew going onto the ice after it was a terrible, terrible idea.
"Come here, boy!" He tried calling out to it. The dog gave no indication of hearing him, nose close to the ground, nudging at frazil waves splashing against the patch they were standing on, increasingly growing more unstable. Its claws scratched into the surface nervously. It wasn't wearing a name tag yet – Techno didn't give them their collars until they were fully grown.
The voices were quick to offer up a couple of name suggestions for him to pick from.
"Floof!" Techno tried again. "Don't make me come out there and get you, Floof!"
It was no use. The dog was simply too frightened to even consider resisting its instinct to stay as still as possible.
With a sigh, Techno unclasped his cape. The fragility of the ice made for a disaster waiting to happen, but if he took it off first at least the heavy fur lining of his cloak wouldn't drag him down should he fall in the water. Technoblade folded it and put it on the ground, throwing his belt with the potions and weapons still attached on top of it. Carefully, he started taking his first steps onto the frozen lake.
It was easy going at first, closer to land the ice held up better since there was less water caught beneath. But as he went further, a horrible creaking made Technoblade aware of every time he put his weight down wrong, a spiderweb of tiny fractures blossoming beneath his feet. He tried shuffling forward instead, moving without lifting them. Floof had finally become aware of his presence, the dog was hunching on itself more and fretfully growling. It wasn't being hostile, the situation was simply making it tense.
"I know," Techno told it soothingly. "You really managed to get yourself in a pickle. Come here, I'm taking you home." He reached out. Floof stared at him, shaking pitifully. It took a few small steps towards Techno, shaking on its paws. "Yeah, there you go-"
Then Floof jumped into his arms.
It was more of a tackle, really. Techno managed to catch the twenty pounds of terrified puppy barreling into him without toppling over completely, but he did stumble back because it caught him off guard. Already unbalanced meant he couldn't be careful with where he put his hooves anymore, and the sliver of ice beneath them didn't need any more pressure to break.
What had been a solid surface seconds before caved into itself instantly.
Technoblade sunk through it before he could react, a cold rush of water coming up to engulf first his legs and then his torso. For one horrible moment, he became completely submerged, not even able to see anymore when the lake stung his eyes and forced its way into his nostrils. Floof was kicking and scratching desperately trying to get away, sharp claws digging into Techno's shoulder and tearing at his cheek in a blind panic. He shifted the dog to be held in one arm so he could use the other one and his legs to force himself to the surface, clinging at the fractured ice. By what might be a miracle or a great stroke of luck, he managed to slide Floof onto the solid part and then climb out himself. Their saving grace had been how close to the shore they were, otherwise Techno might not have made it out of the water by himself.
If Floof hadn't already been shaking before, being plunged into the frigid lake would have done the trick. Shaggy white fur that had looked so incredibly soft before – probably the inspiration for Chat's name suggestion – was clinging to the dog in a wet mess now, making it look more like a drowned rat. Techno couldn't imagine himself looking much better though, his hair was pretty much plastered to his face. There was barely any wind, but he felt like he was freezing. In his soaked state, the cold was ten times worse.
He picked up his cape. When he called for Floof this time the dog rubbed up against him immediately. Technoblade picked it up and wrapped it securely in the dry fabric, trying to preserve whatever warmth he could. Floppy ears stuck out from atop the makeshift blanket, but apart from that the dog was almost completely tucked in. He got his belt too, but since Techno couldn't really feel his fingers anymore he wasn't even going to attempt to fasten it again. He just wanted to get home.
Once they got there, a few of the other hounds were barking and jumping up against the fence as soon as they noticed them coming back. Techno felt Floof shift and its tail starting to wag as it gave a valiant attempt at a greeting bark in return. He laughed. "I think your friends are glad you got home safe." He went inside, only mildly surprised to find Phil was coming up the ladder of the basement. He must have been getting some supplies.
Techno walked past him at first but Phil did a double-take and stopped. "What the fuck happened to you?"
"This guy happened." He put Floof on the rug near the fireplace, unwrapping the cape from around the dog. It had mostly dried off, though Techno still rubbed it down a second time. He needed to wash the cape after this anyway, might as well fully commit to the 'using it as a rag' bit. Steve sat in the corner and looked on wearily, he always got a little jealous when Techno brought other pets into the house.
Phil didn't need any further explanation, the context clues made things pretty clear. "You're dripping all over the floor, I'm getting a towel." He started rummaging in the nearest chest.
"No need, I'm taking care of it." Techno was just about pleased with his handiwork. "See, all better!" Floof let out a short yip to express its gratitude. Techno pet its head some more.
"For you, Techno, not for the damn dog." Finding what he was looking for, Phil proceeded to toss the towel at his face. "You're going to catch a cold like this."
Techno's insistence of 'I'm fine' would have been a bit more convincing if he hadn't immediately followed it up with a sneeze. Now that he was paying attention to it, he still couldn't feel his fingers, or his legs, or the tips of his ears. His tail felt like a dead weight attached to him and he was so cold he wasn't even shaking anymore.
Predictably enough – and annoyingly so – Phil saw all of these things as signs that he should engage his worrywart tendencies.
"Sit down, don't move. You're going to be the death of me." The towel was pulled from his hands again, this time so Phil could force him to sit on the floor and dry Techno's hair himself.
"Pretty sure old age is going to get you before I do, Phil."
"Not if you keep giving me this kind of stress, I'm gonna be having a heart attack before my time."
Techno laughed while Floof crawled into his lap, slightly damp fur actually warmer than Techno's skin currently was. He buried his hands into it, feeling a lot better already.
Relaxing into Phil's careful attention and the heat coming from the flames, he would be alright in no time.