Author's Note: All characters, descriptions, themes, and plot points recognizable from the Sims 4 Henry Puffer fan made stuff pack belongs to the creator MLys. All plot points, characters, and settings recognizable from JK Rowling's work is an act of parodying fanfiction art and no rights are reserved. Let's do this!

Chapter One: A Real Dud of a Birthday

Once again, we find ourselves at number three, Oak Alcove. The residents that live there are, of course, the Dooflys. There is Mr. Vincent Doofly, his wife, Mrs. Daisy Doofly, and their portly son, Curtis Doofly. Another dependent was in the care of Mr. and Mrs. Doofly and he had the most unusual of pets.

"Henry Puffer that owl will be put into a pie this time tomorrow if you do not get it to shut up!" Mr. Doofly roared. He had been woken up on the dot at three or four in the morning every morning since Henry had come home for summer vacation. It was now eight and the family was around the table eating breakfast. The hooting owl was very easily heard from where they sat.

His nephew, Henry Puffer, was pretty even tempered and tried to explain.

"He's used to the wide open spaces of the outside. Or flying freely throughout the," he sighed whimsically, "the castle." The young boy fixed his dreamy eyes at the sight of an angry red vein forming in his uncle's forehead at the mention of the castle.

"You are not permitted to speak of that place," the effort it took Mr. Doofly to angrily wheeze made him take a shaky breath, "we have hastily amended six new DUH rules because of you, boy." Ah yes. The Doofly Upon Henry rules. As in, rules that the Dooflys set upon Henry to follow or there would be consequences. Henry should know, but he wasn't sure if he was up to thirty six or thirty nine rules.

"If he could just be let out for like, maybe an hour at night?" Henry reasoned.

"Don't play me a fool!" Mr. Doofly snapped. "I know what would happen. Letters and trinkets and packets and things from…" he didn't finish. To punctuate his thoughts, he cast a dark and knowing look with his wife.

Henry wanted to say more but was interrupted by a ghastly, completely lewd belch from Curtis Doofly. Henry wrinkled his nose. Why oh why didn't the Dooflys act like any other parent and punish their child for being that...gross!

"I want more sausages," the grubby cousin gurgled and patted his swollen tummy.

"There is some right here in the pan, Purdy," said Aunt Daisy. Henry looked towards his cousin, then to his aunt, then down at his plate trying to hide his look of disdain. Curtis was only a year and some change older than Henry but he was twice as big and getting bigger every day. Unhealthily so. No kid should have to wear men's sizes in their waistbands. "You are getting so big, my beautiful peach," Aunt Daisy continued to coo, looking misty and sentimental. "Oh those breakfasts, teas, luncheons, suppers, snacks, and evening teas are just not enough for my baby boykins over there at that school. You must eat up here and now until you have to leave me again!" At once, some fat, obnoxious tears did begin to fall from Henry's aunt's boney face.

"Don't fret, my darling! I can assure you I was never starved at goold ole' Smurlings," Uncle Vincent said with so much reverence and pride for his alma mater. "You get enough there, don't you, son?"

Henry watched with disgust at the way Curtis had to shift in his seat to accommodate his girth. He put his nubby fingers to his chin in rapt thought as he assessed his father's question. A sneer formed on Henry's cousin's lips.

"Pass the frying pan," was all he said.

"Nonsense! We don't want you to lift that heavy cast iron," Aunt Daisy interrupted. "Henry. Use that clean fork and pass Curdy two sausages."

Irritated, Henry did as he was told. When the sausages were on his cousin's plate and were getting devoured by Curtis' greedy mouth, Henry's composure wavered.

"Aren't you forgetting a magic word?" He snipped.

Like a domino effect, the simple sentence careened the Doofly family towards madness. Curtis yelped and fell sideways off of his chair. The resonating crash and thump could probably have been heard next door. Mrs. Doofly actually shrieked and got to her feet which sent her chair toppling over with a clatter. Mr. Doofly was on his feet too and the red veins in his forehead protruding uglily as he leaned forward menacingly with both hands on either side of the table to look across to where Henry was sitting.

"I meant 'thank you!" Henry tried to defend himself quickly. "Manners! That's all! I didn't mean…"

"WE HAVE RULES IN THIS HOUSE, BOY!" Uncle Vincent's voice was so loud it sounded like ocean waves crashing directly into Henry's ear. His cheeks were wagging and spittle was flying over the table and on to the food. Shame. Henry was going to eat that last piece of bacon. "DUH RULE TWO, TEN, AND…" Uncle Doofly was wheezing again. "NUMBER ELEVEN!"

Ah yes. DUH Rule Number Eleven instated after he returned from school. No mentioning, uttering, implying, or thinking of the 'm' word. M meaning...magic.

"I was just…" Henry tried to explain.

"YOU WERE THREATENING CURTIS! YOU WERE THREATENING MY SON!" Two, large, hamhock fists pounded the kitchen table as Uncle Vincent screamed.

"But I…"

"I TOLD YOU! I WARNED YOU! I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR CONDITION! YOUR...YOUR...INFLICTION! NOT UNDER MY ROOF!"

The young Henry Puffer was alarmed but not scared. He looked from his now purple faced uncle, to his ghostly white aunt, to his cousin who was being embarrassingly helped up by his mother. He was whining and crying dramatically.

"I...alright," Henry lowered his eyes yieldingly. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Henry was pretty good at saying things he did not feel.

It did the trick all the same. Slowly, Uncle Vincent lowered himself back onto his chair inhaling and exhaling like a winded hippo. The way he appraised Henry could have made the child blanch if he had not already faced more sinister danger just a couple of weeks prior. It was like Henry was a ticking bomb that was ready to go off at any second. Castles, owls, sinister danger...Henry was not a normal boy. The Dooflys couldn't stand not normal.

Henry Puffer was a spellcaster. A wizard. A Sim that could use a wand and make magic come out of it. He was fresh from his first year at Harnocks Academy of Spell Casting and Magical Matters. Or Harnocks School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Either way you said it (because Sims from different worlds said it different ways) it was still a school that taught Henry and children like him how to use these powers. The Dooflys hated Henry in their home before he found out he was a wizard. In fact, the adults kept the knowledge from him. So now, knowing they can't stop Henry's fate, they're even more resentful towards the child.

But if the Dooflys were in sour moods, Henry felt even worse. He longed for Harnocks like a thirsty Sim in a desert. He felt it in his bones and to the tips of his toes. Sometimes, the longing of the castle, the secret corridors, and the ghosts would keep him up with stomach aches. He missed the classes (except for the Potions and Alchemy class with Professor Snabes). He missed the banquets in the Grand Hall, sleeping in the dorms in the comfy full sized beds. He missed his friends Jon Parsley and Esmani Ghadjer. Henry's stomach dropped a bit more towards his feet at the thought of them. He missed the jack of all trades keeper of the keys that was Hagish who lived in a little cabin by Calamity Forest. Then there was Grilled Cheese Duels. The most popular and talked about sport in the Realm of Magic (three goal posts connected to billows, a stove with a grilled cheese in a golden pan, three flying balls, fourteen players on their broomsticks, and yummy grilled cheese at the end!)

When Henry had arrived at the Doofly's, Uncle Vincent made quick work stuffing Henry's spellbooks, textbooks, robes, cauldron, and even his wand into the closet that had once been his bedroom. The worst was his state of the art Zoomsweeper Pegasus broom. It seemed that they didn't care if Henry was out of practice for this year's season. They also didn't care that he would fall behind in his studies since there was summer work to be done in those textbooks. These sorts of things were lost on Normies (this means that they have no magic running through their plasma).

In fact, Uncle Vincent and Aunt Daisy treated having a wizard in the family as if Henry was a secret criminal—one that received shame and resentment. It was so bad Uncle Vincent welded Henry's owl, Magus, inside his cage so he couldn't fly to and fro to send messages to anyone in the Realm of Magic. And he wondered why the bird was so upset.

In all of Henry's almost twelve years, no one could deny he was different from his family. Uncle Vincent was large with three chins and no neck. His hair was going gray and thinning towards an ugly bald spot. Aunt Daisy looked like a gangly weasel with a hooked nose and harsh collar bones under paper thin skin. Curtis was obese, greedy, and entitled. He looked like a mini Uncle Vincent with Aunt Daisy's hair. Then there was Henry. He was petite and lanky with crystal blue eyes and buttery blonde hair that was always unkempt and loosely hung. He wore round glasses and on his forehead there was a thin scar in the shape of a plumbob. This of course, looked like a diamond to anyone unfamiliar with the term.

The forehead injury was what made Henry stand out and look the most unusual, even by spellcaster standards. It was a leftover clue of Henry's very dark and mysterious past. The reason Henry had been left on the Doofly's doorstep eleven years ago.

When he was one year old. Henry had somehow survived a deadly curse from the most sinister and evil Untamed Magic sorcerer in all of the worlds. He was Lord Mormobius and the name was so taboo many witches and wizards feared to even say his name, resorting to refer to him as the Unmentionable One. Henry's birth parents had died in an attack by Mormobius but Henry was able to remain alive with just his plumbob scar and no one could understand why. How could the most powerful caster fail to kill a baby? And what's more, why was this powerful wizard's powers completely stripped away and he was destroyed instantly after he performed the failed curse?

This left the habitants of the Realm of Magic to do what (at the time) think was correct. That being, dropping infant Henry on the doorstep of his dead mother's sister and her husband. No magical plasma. Normal Normies. Henry spent ten years with the Dooflys, never understanding why he could make weird things happen without knowingly doing so. He was brought up believing his scar was the result of a house fire that killed his parents.

Then, like a beacon of hope, exactly one year ago, Hanrocks had written to Henry. The whole story had come out! Henry had taken up his rightful place at the wizarding school, where his scar was famous, where his story was known! But now...the school year was over. He was back at the Dooflys and was knowingly probably the only child Sim in all of the worlds wishing summer vacation would go faster and be over sooner.

It was again, Henry's birthday. The young boy was sure there would be some remark on what had happened in the lighthouse last year. How Hagish had scared the Normie family so badly. How a sleeping powder was used on them. Anything. Henry knew there wouldn't be a cake, presents, or any real positive acknowledgement towards the day but...the Dooflys had chosen this year to completely ignore the day entirely. Or at least, the day's significance.

"Now that that has passed," Uncle Vincent cleared his throat and brought Henry back to the present around the breakfast table. "Today is a very important day."

Henry couldn't help but look up hopefully. Could he dare believe it?

"This dinner could set our family up for life," said Uncle Vincent.

Eyes were not on Henry, so he took that piece of bacon and allowed him to feel the familiar feeling of deflation. Why had he dared to think Uncle Vincent would think of him for a change? Of course it was the stupid dinner party he had set up and been prattling on about for weeks. Apparently, some rich supplier to Mr. Doofly's company and his wife were coming to dinner and Uncle Vincent was hoping to schmooze and get a huge order from him (Uncle Vincent's company made screwdrivers).

"What say we run through the game plan again, hm?" Said Uncle Vincent and clapped his hands together. "We shall be in prime position at eight o' clock. Daisy, darling, where will you be?"

"In the four season's room, love," Aunt Daisy said obediently, "the more time it takes me to answer the door to welcome our guests graciously in our home provides the illusion that our home is bigger and fuller with riches and possessions!"

"Right you are! And Curtis?" Uncle Vincent was grinning—a revolting sight.

"I shall be trailing behind mommy," simpered Curtis with complete falsety. "May I take your coats, Mr. and Mrs. Jarr? Your purse perhaps, m'lady?" Keep your face neutral. Henry's brain was chanting over and over again.

"Curty baby you're perfect! Oh! Darling they are going to love him!" Aunt Daisy beamed towards her husband that looked just as puffed up with pride.

"Couldn't agree more, love," Uncle Vincent said. All of a sudden, the merriment and joy leaked out of Henry's uncle's features so fast it was nearly funny. "And where will you be, boy?"

"I'll be in my bedroom, adhering to the DUH rules and pretending I don't exist," Henry said with no tone in his most flattest voice possible.

"You bet your butt," Uncle Vincent agreed nastily. "From there," he was done speaking with Henry and back to addressing his family, "I will lead the Jarrs towards the sitting room, introduce you, Daisy dear, pour them drinks and at eight thirty sharp…"

"I will announce dinner is ready!" Aunt Daisy finished for him.

"And Curtis will say?" Uncle Vincent could barely contain his excitement.

"May I lead you towards our dining room, Mrs. Jarr?" said Curtis and went as far as to offer his pudgy arm to an invisible woman.

"He's a natural gentleman! My angel!" Aunt Daisy all but sniffed.

"And you?" Uncle Vincent eyed Henry with so much disdain.

"I'll be in my bedroom, adhering to the DUH rules and pretending I don't exist," Henry said and perfectly mimicked the same tone he had used before.

"You're damn right," Uncle Vincent snapped. "Now, family," Henry was forgotten again. "We need to pepper in good compliments during dinner. Daisy, dear, any thoughts?"

"Oh Mr. Jarr! What a lovely vehicle you have! Vincent has told me all about your love for automobiles," Henry could have very well lost his breakfast at the sickly sweet voice coming from his aunt. It was so unnatural. "Mrs. Jarr, dear...you must tell me where you purchased that handbag." Uncle Vincent was nearly bouncing in his seat.

"Wonderful, honey! Now you, Curtis."

"I could say...um," the gears in Henry's cousin's head were chugging away. "I could say, 'if there is ever a person I could consider my hero...I'd...I'd dare say it would be you, sir!'"

Uncle Vincent and Aunt Daisy nearly went mad at admiration for their son's deceitful brown nosing. They hugged and cried out for their son. Henry pretended he dropped something so he could laugh under the table and not be seen by the ridiculousness of it all.

"And what of you, boy?"

Henry emerged from the table masterfully straightening his face.

"I'll be in my bedroom, adhering to the DUH rules and pretending I don't exist."

"I grow tired of that," Mr. Doofy pointed out. "Are you mocking this endeavor, boy?"

"Not at all...sir," Henry couldn't help add the beat of pause for his own amusement.

"Well good," Uncle Vincent began not noticing, "the Jarrs have not the slightest clue that you are in our care and it is to stay that way. Once dinner is over, you will take Mrs. Jarr to the four season's room for tea or coffee, Daisy, and I will swing the discussion towards screwdrivers with Mr. Jarr. With our hospitality and luck, I'll have the deal signed, sealed, and delivered before the evening news. Heck, we will be shopping for Isla Paradiso vacation homes this time Sunday if I have anything to say of it!" Aunt Daisy was clapping wildly and Curtis was grinning.

Henry couldn't help but frown. Either on Oak Alcove or Isla Paradiso Henry wouldn't be liked by the Doofly family. Breakfast was finishing up and Uncle Vincent was speaking again.

"Curtis and I are heading off into town to pick up the custom, matching dinner jackets for me and him. Boy," he all but snarled at Henry, "you are to leave and not get in the way of your aunt making the house tip top and clean."

"Happy birthday to me...happy birthday to me…"

Even though it was a gorgeous, sunny day in Newcrest, Henry felt solemn and glum. No cards, no presents, and no cake. Even last year he had a cake. No. This birthday he was to pretend he didn't exist entirely. He walked to the end of the driveway and just sat on the lawn in self pity. He was miserable. He had never felt so alone. He thought of his friends Jon and Esmani. Didn't they even care about him? Jon had even asked to have him over during the summer and that wasn't happening. Did they miss him too? Some nights he wondered how he could get Magus' cage open to just sneak a letter or too. Make sure they were alright. Make sure they were still his friends. He should have gotten Esmani's phone number. She only lived in Windenburg with her Normie parents. Normie parents that actually accepted her life. Maybe he could take a bus and find her? That ugly dark feeling bubbled in Henry's chest when he thought of his friends probably playing and larking about in the summer sun without him.

Jon would be surrounded by magic and merriment since his folk were all of spellcaster plasma. Henry wished he could use magic outside of Harnocks. The Dooflys didn't know this rule. Henry purposefully hadn't told them. In the beginnings of the vacation, Henry had great fun mumbling gibberish words and watched in glee as the Dooflys would duck and cover. It didn't last. Only two or three times Henry threatened to turn Curtis into something unnatural was all it took for Uncle Vincent to nearly pull Henry's arm out of the socket as he snatched the wand and locked it away. DUH rule twelve being made: No wands. As well as DUH rule thirteen: No utterings of gibberish or anything not resembling Simlish.

Not even the memories of Curtis high tailing it as fast as his fat, stumpy legs could carry him cheered Henry up. The long silence from Henry's two best friends. They had forgotten his birthday.

Any message from Harnocks would do.

Henry even decided he would have settled for a quick word from Kimmi Slymer, a fellow student at Harnocks whom Henry positively loathed. Anything so Henry would stop second guessing himself and thinking last year was all a sick dream.

Perhaps thinking of the negatives of school?

It hadn't all been wonderful and quirkily whimsical.

At the end of the term, Henry had looked Lord Mormobius right in the face. Well...through the belly of his Untamed Magic professor. When the ghostly figure of Lord Mormobius released from his attachment to her, he was frail, old, and a horrid apparition. By drinking the Elixir of Life, Henry knew he was still a ghost...but now a stronger adult ghost. That bothered Henry immensely. Didn't that make him more powerful? The Headmaster of Harnocks, Simbledore didn't seem to think so. And yet, to Henry, Mormobius still seemed terrifying, cunning, and all the more determined to regain his former power and former self. The after effects of that grizzly night down in the chambers had left Henry waking almost every other night drenched in a cold sweat from nightmares. Where was Mormobius? What did he even look like now? Those eyes…

"IIIIII knnnnow what toddday issss!" Curtis came skipping down the driveway to stand before Henry. His large shadow encased the smaller boy as Henry looked up at him.

"Bravo...you learned the days of the week. Only took you eight extra years, eh?" Henry snickered and cooled it a bit when he saw Curtis' fists clench.

"Today is your birthday," spat Curtis. "I don't see a present or a card. No friends for little Henry Wenry at his wittle magical fairy school?"

Henry was in some type of mood.

"Actually," he stated and rose to his feet to meet his cousin's eyes. "They teach us to communicate telepathically." Henry watched Curtis' smugness wavered a bit. "MMhhmm...yeah. Oh Jon, I know he's actually that fat, isn't he?" Henry placed his index finger into his right ear like they do on the spy movies.

Curtis' face went deep red.

"S-stop that...you c-can't. Daddy told you you can't do those sorts of…"

"Yeah, they took my wand. But...you guys could fly over on your broom sticks with yours, right?" Henry ignored Curtis and even put his finger up like a busy mom on the phone to her interrupting child. "Yeah...that spell will be perfect. Ishna...cooly blexnah...right, right, I got it."

"MOOOOOOM!" Curtis screamed and tripped over his laces as he made a beeline towards the house. "HENRY IS DOING IT...YOU know WHAT!"

Like an angry bull, the front door flew open and an angry Mrs. Doofly stood in the door frame with a soapy frying pan like a gunslinger at sundown. With impressive strength, she whipped it at Henry.

"Pick that up! Then clean it again! Then wash the car, mow the lawn, trim the flowerbeds, prune the roses as well as water them, repaint the garden bench, AND clean the windows or you will get NO supper you utter FREAK!" She screamed and slammed the door. The two boys were left to look at each other for only a beat.

"Curtis dear?" The door was opened again and Aunt Daisy was completely composed. "Come in and get some ice cream."

Henry was in the garden pruning the roses and thinking miserable thoughts.

Curtis was right.

He had no friends.

Nobody likes you.

The sun blazed, his back ached, sweat was running down his forehead and prickling his scar. Maybe he shouldn't have taken Curtis' bait. What would the wizarding folk think if they saw the famous Henry Puffer in his aunt's sun hat and flower patterned gardening gloves?

"HAVE you no concept of time? It's almost eight! Get in here and up to your room!" Aunt Daisy yelled at him from the four seasons room. "AND bring the NEWSPAPER!"

Through the four seasons room towards the kitchen Aunt Daisy pulled Henry by his thin wrist. The young boy eyed the shimmering white cake on top of the fridge and smelled the ham grand meal simmering in the oven.

"Eat it fast! The Jarrs will be here soon!" Aunt Daisy yanked a pitiful microwave meal from the appliance and jerked it towards Henry. She was wearing a hideous emerald green cocktail dress.

Silently, Henry washed his hands and swallowed down the freezer burnt green beans and crusty pork loin that came with the meal. Once he was finished, Aunt Daisy whisked the cardboard tray way and tossed it into the bin. "Go! Upstairs!" She hissed and swept away at the place he had been even though he had left nothing there.

On his way up, he got to catch a peak at Uncle Vincent and Curtis wearing bow ties and their matching dinner jackets. His foot had hit the first step when the doorbell rang. Even though it wasn't in his original plan, Uncle Vincent bolted towards where Henry had paused.

"Remember, boy...any sound and…" He didn't finish.

Henry gave him a sour look but ascended the stairs, crossed to his bedroom, slipped inside, and closed the door. What else could he do but collapse onto his bed?

Except Henry's bed was full.

Three owls were perched among the covers with letters and parcels attached by cords to their legs. When they each saw Henry, they began to hoot merrily and loudly.

Oh no.