The Dark Side of Disney
Episode 1: Resistance
In a world of where cartoons and live-action characters come together, there is an epic battle between good and evil. The Dark Side of Disney, led by Maleficent, took over Disneyland and plot to take over the world.
Only the Resistance, followed by General Direwolf, can deal with this great evil. They round up all the best characters on both sides to join in and help save the world from their eneimes.
But after years of battling, Maleficent has devised a plan to eradicate the enemy once at for all. When it's been accomplished, what will become of the Resistance in the aftermath?
Act One
Thursay, November 11 2021 AD 0300 hours
Some of the toons (cartoons) and li-acs (live action characters) are fighting in some apocalyptic battle. Enemy fire blasts buildings around them, and everything's in flames. The toons are running through the chaos, avoiding getting hit. The ones shooting them is a floating pirate ship, which is the Jolly Roger, the ship that belongs to Captain Hook from Peter Pan. Hook stands at the port bow, observing the battlefield below.
Hook: Reload the cannons, ye bilge rats!
The cannon keeps firing at the toons. But then, Sakura Avalon from Cardcaptors shows up with her staff and her magic cards in hand.
Sakura: Shield!
With her Shield Card, she makes a force field all over the attacked toons, deflecting the cannon balls. It also deflects another, sending it flying at Wolverine, from the X-Men film series, hitting him in the head. Logan simply heals himself, and looks at Sakura in disappointment.
Sakura: [apologetic] I'm sorry, Logan.
Wolverine: We're trying to save the world and you're being sympathetic? Let's go.
The cannon fires some more, until it gets hit at the backside. Hook looks back to see who fired him. It is a li-ac named Seamus O'Neal/Proto (Prototype), a cyborg with cybernetic limbs, having a rocket launcher over his shoulder.
Proto: Over here, codfish!
The cannon fires back, but with his cybernetic legs, Proto jumps out of the way to deflect all of the cannonballs.
Some of the li-acs are running around the inferno, and a flaming piece of rubble flies in their direction. Flint Hammerhead, the titular character of Flint the Time Detective, turns to it and knocks it with his stone-axe, which is his father Rocky, successfully deflecting it.
Rocky: Nice hit, son.
Flint: Thanks, dad.
Li-ac: Hey Flint, hurry up!
Among the li-acs is their field commander in a redeco War Machine Mark 1 from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. His name is Dieter Wilson/Cobalt. He retracts an assault rifle on his wrist and fires at the Jolly Roger, until he hits one of the cannons that fire at the main mast. But he looks down at the toons and li-acs trying to keep up with him, but he looks behind them to see the pirates sliding off deck to the main ground and charging towards them.
Cobalt: Taz, here they come!
The Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes responds in gibberish, and spins around to attack the pirates. Cobalt turns to Snake-Eyes from the GI Joe film series.
Cobalt: Snake-Eyes, lead the others to safety.
Snake-Eyes salutes in agreement as Cobalt comes over to challenge any of the pirates who evaded Taz, beating them up one by one.
Wolverine nonchalantly uses a burning log to flame his cigar, just as Proto rushes to him to evade the cannonballs.
Proto: [disbelieved] Are you smoking at this time?
Wolverine: Yeah, I am. It's no big deal.
Proto: Logan, we're trying to save the world, and you're smoking.
Wolverine: Don't get overreact-
Then Proto pushes him away in the last moment before getting blasted themselves, and he gets annoyed that he lost his cigar.
Wolverine: That was my last cigar.
Wolverine walks out from hiding and stares at the rudder of the floating ship in thought. With an idea, he pops his claws out.
Wolverine: Hey Proto, how's your throwing arm? I'm going to slash that rudder.
Proto: The rudder? Logan, that would work when the ship's on air, not in thin air.
Wolverine: Only one way to find out. Throw me now!
Proto tosses Wolverine at the ship's rudder, where he slashes it off. Because the rudder is off, the Jolly Roger starts to fall down, and it crashes onto the ground.
Smee: Cap'n, the rudder's lopped off.
Hook: That can't be good. They've damaged my ship!
Smee: The escape pods, quickly!
Taking their chances, Hook and Smee both make a run for it to the escape pods, but Cobalt gets in the way of them.
Cobalt: You two aren't going anywhere.
Hook: You dare challenge Captain Hook, man to man? So be it!
Hook draws his sword, and Cobalt takes out his lightsaber, beginning their sword fight. Some of the toons watch the two fight, cheering for Cobalt.
Toons: Make that rat walk the plank!
Smee: Give it to him, cap'n! Gleave him to the brisket!
The fight goes on, until Hook takes the upper hand by slashing Cobalt's lightsaber, and Cobalt stares at it in disappointment.
Cobalt: Not again. Obi-Wan's gonna kill me.
Hook: No need. I shall do the honours.
Hook makes a stab, but the blade breaks because it isn't strong enough to penetrate Cobalt's armour, so Cobalt slaps it out of his hand to disarm the pirate. But then, a Velociraptor from Dinosaur pounces on him, pushing him overboard, allowing Hook and Smee to enter the escape pod, which launches right away out of the ship's backside.
Cobalt struggles to get the Velociraptor off of him, but with his Iron Man suit, he uses its strength to push him off. The raptor regains its bearings and charges in to attack, but a set of vines tangles the beast, and Sakura comes over to reveal she used the Wood Card to trap it.
Cobalt: Nice save, Avalon.
Sakura: Okay. Now that we've got the ship, it's over, right?
Cobalt: Not yet. We still have one objective to deal with.
Elsewhere, there is Bomb Voyage, the French, mime-like supervillain from The Incredibles, simply counting his money in a fortress room, until an explosion drills through the wall. Cobalt and Proto come out, confronting him.
Proto: [glaring] Bomb Voyage.
Bomb Voyage: La résistance…. {The Resistance….}
Voice: And Saber!
Everyone turns to the left, to see Dieter's little brother, Jack/Saber, standing there like some superhero.
Cobalt: Jack? Who are you supposed to be?
Saber: What, didn't you hear? I said I was Saber. See? I have it on my nametag, and-
Cobalt: Hey, we told you before, didn't we? This isn't playtime.
Bomb Voyage: Scram, petit avorton. {Scram, little runt.}
Saber: Cobalt, I know that, but that's not what I'm here for. You and the Resistance are all about saving the world, no matter the cost, and that's what I want to do. So that's why I'm here. I am your scout: Saber.
Cobalt: But right now, you're officially carrying it too far.
Cobalt grabs Bomb Voyage before he can escape, letting Proto put shackles on his wrists.
Proto: So just let the grown ups handle this situation.
Bomb Voyage: Et votre haleine sent le fromage pourri! {And your breath smells like rotten cheese!}
Cobalt: We only have to find the vault, and-
Saber: It's right over there.
Saber is pointing his thumb at the backside. Proto walks over to the wall, flips over the portrait and there is a vault, which he opens to find a load of cash and ammunations.
Proto: [awed] Damn.
Saber: Like I said, scout.
Cobalt: This changes nothing.
Meanwhile, the escape pod flies over the sky and lands right into a swamp to where Hook and Smee, who are inside, safe and sound from their enemies.
Hook: Mr. Smee?
Smee: Aye-aye, sir?
Hook: Be a good fellow and make me a plank. SO I CAN MAKE YOU WALK IT!
Smee jumps out of the escape pod to flee, as Hook comes out with an angered look on his face.
Back with the others, Cobalt and Proto are dragging in Bomb Voyage in shackles, and Saber is bringing in the loan. Wolverine comes over to two.
Wolverine: We got one. Just what we need.
Cobalt: Not quite yet, Logan. We've only captured Bomb Voyage, who is only known for robbing in the prologue of The Incredibles, but Captain Hook has escaped again.
Wolverine: Let him run, bub. He's a coward.
Flint: But isn't he one of the Dark Side's Top Ten?
Sakura: He is, and that's why we'd have to stop him.
Cobalt: But Logan, I'd like you take Jack home.
Wolverine: Too bad I can't tell him mom to know what he's been doing.
Saber: Cobalt, I can help you. You're making a mistake.
Then Wolverine shoved Saber into Cinderella's pumpkin carriage.
[roars]
Everyone looks up to find the Great Leonopteryx from Avatar flying towards them, making a landing, and reveals it is mounted by General John Curtis/Direwolf, who dismounted the animal.
Cobalt: [salutes] Attention! General on deck!
Direwolf: At ease. Cobalt, well done. You've finally captured Bomb Voyage, but what about the Underminer?
Cobalt: Dead, sir.
Proto: Yeah, Maleficent executed him for his technology.
Cobalt: And also… my little brother just barged in.
Direwolf: Oh, Saber? He's an official member now.
Cobalt: [stunned] WHAT?!
Act Two
Later, Cobalt (no longer in his War Machine suit) was in the General's office with Proto, Direwolf, and Saber gathered together. He seems to be ticked off because of his little brother joining them.
Cobalt: Did he bribe you to get in?
Direwolf: No, he didn't. Bribing me is a federal offense. He's here because we need him.
Cobalt: What are you talking about? He's just a boy and our family's long gone.
Proto: It might be because of the reducing numbers of li-acs we have serving the Resistance. I mean, Wolverine and Snake-Eyes are li-acs.
Direwolf: But we need a variety of li-acs from outside the movies. Saber wishes to be a scout, so… I gave him the authority to proceed.
Cobalt: But this is serious bus-
Saber: Hey Cobalt, I know what the risks are. It's been two years since we've lost mom and dad, but there are times when I have to save my own skin, and that's one of the reasons why I'm in the Resistance.
Direwolf: Listen Captain, just have a little faith in Saber.
Cobalt: With all due respect, sir… I have to object to this. The Dark Side of Disney is led by Maleficent, and no one knows her better than I. She's too unpredictable, cunning, ruthless, and unforgiving. And the moment he sees him, she would exploit our emotions as an advantage and she'll destroy the Resistance's Major Squad, which is under my leadership.
Proto: Well… that does make sense.
Direwolf: I get what you're trying to say, but it won't be this way. Because the Resistance does not share its secrets to the enemy… at all.
Saber: But Cobalt, what if-
Cobalt: No buts. Just go back to your roommates.
Saber: [defeated] Yes, sir.
Saber walks out the door to enter the elevator, which takes him downward. The elevator door opens to Resistance Centre, a huge open concourse full of toons and li-acs bustling about. He looks to his right where a sax player is playing The Sorcerer's Apprentice to some brooms sweeping by themselves. From behind them emerges a stork on a bike, apparently a postman, and as he rides by he begins to lose his balance and crashes, sending letters everywhere.
Saber arrives at a pizza stand to grab himself a box before paying for it. He passes a screen displaying a PSA video narrated by Sonic the Hedgehog.
Sonic: Li-acs can die in our worlds. But if you leave your world, stay safe, stay alert, and whatever you do, don't die. If you die in your world, you can regenerate, but outside you don't. Ever. Finished. Game over.
Saber: I don't get what Cobalt's so worried about me. I'm not a little kid anymore.
Saber comes upon a group of homeless toons, Littlefoot from The Land Before Time amongst them, who holds a sign: "Out of Order. Please Help!" Saber hands Rocket a pizza box.
Saber: Here, Littlefoot. It's fresh, from Pizza the Hut.
Meanwhile, Cobalt is looking at Saber leaving through the window.
Proto: Why don't you be honest with him?
Cobalt: I was. I told you the truth, and he has to acknowledge it.
As Cobalt watches, a pair of eyes suddenly appear at the window.
Cobalt: [screams]
Proto: What? It's just Dumbo.
Cobalt relaxes to find out it is really Dumbo, the titular character of the movie Dumbo.
Direwolf: What's he doing here?
Proto: It's why we fought off Hook. We rescued him from Disneyworld. Him and half of Fantasia. They wanted to do a part for the tavern tonight, in exchange for a room with a roof, and they work for peanuts.
Proto throws a handful of peanuts out of the window and Dumbo flies off sucking them up with his trunk.
Direwolf: Well, I don't work for peanuts. I work for the Resistance to deal with those no-good, dirty-rotten, pig-f-
But Direwolf realizes that Cobalt is glaring at him for making that comment.
Direwolf: Oh. Sorry, I forgot. I know how much… Disney means to you.
Cobalt: Well, I agree with what you say, sir. We've been fighting the Dark Side since we were, what? Six years old? And it's reason enough to believe that this war may be taking its toll on us, after realizing that we nearly destroyed the world.
Proto: Actually, it was the General's fault since he hired the dragons from Reign of Fire.
Direwolf: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, slow down a little. That was only to counter Maleficent with her dragon form.
Proto: Well, I would agree with Cobalt on half of his speech. It's been twenty years since we've fought the Dark Side, and to tell you the truth… it's becoming expensive to keep it going.
Cobalt: So tell us, what's your plan?
Direwolf: To be honest, I don't know. But we're all seeking the same goal, and Cobalt's a Disney scholar, so… we could hear what you'd say.
Cobalt: I may be a scholar and a field commander, but I'm not the planner in this army. However, after all this time of fighting, the Dark Side of Disney would formulate a plan to eradicate us once and for all.
Proto: As if. We're underground now. They can't find us anywhere on the planet.
Meanwhile, in a room full of darkness, a group of Disney villains gaze at an image of the trio on a round table. The villains are Hades, Jafar, Ursula, Hook, Judge Claude Frollo, Scar, Governor Ratcliffe, Cruella De Vil, Shan Yu, and Oogie Boogie, and they are all the Top Ten of the Dark Side.
Hades: Just look at those three stooges. They're all idiots, total idiots.
Jafar: They have been showing potential for the last few decades, though.
Ursula: Why don't we throw them to the Carnotaurs? [cackles] That'll settle things quick enough.
Shan Yu: Throw them to the Carnotaurs? That will never work.
Frollo: He's right. Those li-acs are too cunning to handle any blow we throw at them, and we cannot lose to them… again!
Hook: And the new brat is the captain's sibling. Swoggle me eyes, they're all bilge rats by the look of them.
Oogie: You're no prize yourself.
Oogie, beside Hook, laughs loudly and the pirate captain brandishes his silver hook.
Hook: Shut up!
Maleficent: Enough.
Emerging from the shadows is Maleficent, the main antagonist from Sleeping Beauty, and she gazes upon the image of the trio.
Maleficent: Our constant battle with the Resistance has gone far enough. But after all these years, I have devised a plan to reveal the location of their hidden base, and they brought it in.
Act Three
Back in the Resistance, there are the Eds, the titular characters of their show Ed, Edd n Eddy. The Eds are pricing merchandise for their garage sale at Eddy's Garage, and a title up top is read Honest Eds'.
Ed: [holding car door] Va-room, vroom vroom, rrrrr. Va-room, vroom vroom beep beep! Reet! Beep beep! Reet! Va-room, beep beep, rrrrr. Reet! Delivery, mister?
Eddy stares at it in disbelief before he takes a blender out of the box.
Eddy: Did you eat breakfast this morning, Ed? Here. Give it to Double D to put on the table.
Ed: Service is my middle toe. Check, please.
Eddy: Should've ate breakfast, Ed.
Edd (Double D) is checking on Captain America's shield for inspection.
Edd: Let's see… Captain America's shield is in fine condition. Ten cents, a fair asking price.
Then the saddened Saber enters the garage, closing the door behind him.
Edd: Oh hey, Jack. How'd it go?
Saber: Not good. Cobalt won't let me-
Then Ed runs around with the car door, nearly hitting Saber with it.
Saber: Quit fooling around, Ed!
Ed stops and tosses the car door on an overweighted table, then he begins tossing the items on the table.
Ed: It's for my table, Jack. Car door, only five cents. Sarah's easy-bake oven, ten cents. Dad's canoe, twenty cents. Mom's dryer, fifteen cents. No price will be refused at Honest Ed's! Table, five cents. Oops.
Ed realizes he picked up the table everything is balanced on, and the pile starts to collapse.
Ed: London bridge is falling!
The pile of goods falls on Ed. When Ed gets up, he has a vase and a bow in his mouth. He uses the bow to shoot the vase, which hits Eddy on the back of the head. With an idea, he starts picking up a badminton racquet and shooting it with the bow.
Ed: Café au lait!
Saber: So anyway, he's… not going to let me in, even by the General's orders.
Edd: Look, he's your big brother, right? So he's just trying to protect you because that's what older siblings do. I mean, I don't have any brothers or sisters, but mother and father would know what to say about it.
Eddy: [dazed] What day is it?
Edd: Why, it's Tuesday, Eddy! It's almost time for the shop to be open, and I've just finished pricing my merchandise.
Saber: Looks pretty good.
Eddy: "Good"?! Look at the prices. Five cents for poke-balls? Two cents for Yugioh cards? What's the matter with ya? Double D is not getting the point of merchandising! Check this out. The Digi-Egg of Courage. I'm charging fifty bucks for this baby.
Edd: Fifty dollars? Eddy, the point about a garage sale is to recycle one's unwanted items at a fair and economical price!
Saber: Not only that, they must be useful for the Resistance's chance of winning the war.
Eddy: My stuff ain't "economical". They're deluxe, one-of-a-kind secret weapons.
Saber looks at Eddy's merchandising table, and picks up a photo of Eddy dating back from school.
Saber: Your school photo? Eddy, how is this a secret weapon?
Ed: More junk!
Ed grabs Eddy and puts him in the bow.
Eddy: No! Wait, Ed!
Ed draws back the string and fires. Eddy flies through the garage door onto the driveway. Then, the garage door opens to draw the crowd's attention, and the sign shines in neon light.
Edd: We're open, everyone.
The Eds begin their business, while Saber just walks back in through the garage door to leave.
Back with Cobalt, he and Proto are eating at a bar-like restaurant where they're drinking from Pepsi bottles.
Cobalt: I don't know, Proto. I'm not sure if I could….
Proto: Dude, I get it. We both know you're too paranoid about it, because… you've been afraid of Maleficent since you were a little kid. And you still are.
Cobalt: That's just the problem. I'm scared of Maleficent, but the problem is, Jack doesn't know that. He looks up to me because he says I'm fearless. What's gonna happen if he figures that out?
Then Long John Silver, the cyborg from Treasure Planet, walks out from the kitchen, wiping his blade with a napkin, to approach the two.
Silver: You can always tell him the truth, lad. It's in every man's nature to feel fear, and it's worth it.
Cobalt: How so?
Silver: Here's what ye can learn. When you say you're brave, it will mean that you're willing to face off what you fear the most, because without fear there can be no courage.
[ding]
Hearing that ding from the pot behind him, Silver takes out a spoon and tries it to see if it's just right. He has an approving smile on his face; Silver pours some stew into two bowls, one for Cobalt and one for Proto.
Silver: Here, now. Have a taste of me famous Bonzabeast Stew.
Silver takes his leave, letting the two men have a taste of the stew, which they enjoy.
Proto: Hmmm. Not bad. Tastes better than regular stew. Ain't you glad we put Silver on probation?
Sitting beside Proto is Davey Stone, from Eight Crazy Nights, drinking a bottle of Vodka, and Proto finds out he had a lot more.
Proto: [awed] Fourteen bottles of Vodka in ten minutes? That's got to be a restaurant record.
Davey: [drunk] Well, right now I'm going to go for another restaurant record: longest and hottest burp.
Davey disgustingly burps a huge burp, breaking the glasses on a group across the restaurant, even disgusting Sakura behind him, and he lets out a burst of flames before he collapses on the floor.
Proto: I think one of them is from Dragonheart.
At the other end of the bar, one of the li-ac patrons is telling a story to a group of friends.
Li-ac patron 1: We were lost. None of us knew where we were. And then Harry begins feelin' around on all the trees. And then he says "We're on Pluto." When we said "Harry, how can you tell?", he said "From the bark, you dummies! From the bark!"
His friends and he start laughing, until one of his friends seems to start choking on his food.
Li-ac woman: Is he all right?
Li-ac patron 2: Hey, what's the matter with this guy?
Li-ac 3: I don't know.
The choking patron suddenly spits out some of his food, and collapses in pain. They lay him across the bar on his back. Cobalt and Proto are watching this.
Li-ac woman: Get some water!
Li-ac patron 1: Water my ass! Get this guy some Pepto-Bismol!
Proto: Silver! Silver! What'd he order?
Silver: Oh, he had the Krabby Patty with cheese.
Proto: The Kra- That's what I ordered! Change my order to salad!
Cobalt: Good move.
Something suddenly bursts out of the choking patron's chest. It turns out to be the Singing Frog, who puts on a little hat and starts dancing down the bar.
Singing Frog (singing) Hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello, my ragtime gal, Send me a kiss by wire, baby, my heart's on fire, If you refuse me, honey, you lose me, then you'll be left alone, Oh, baby, telephone and tell me I'm your own
Cobalt and Proto: [standing] Check, please!
But then, a beeping comes from their comm links on their wrists, and they activate it to reveal a hologram of Direwolf's face.
Direwolf: Guys? Listen up. Report to my office right away.
Cobalt: Yes, sir. On our way. Proto, the zip-tube.
Cobalt drops a twenty-dollar bill on the bar. He and Proto rushed out to a tube at the corner, and put their thumbs on it to have it scan their fingerprints for identification. When the readings are verified true, the tube opens to let them in and they jump in before it zips them both throughout the building, until it drops them back into the General's office.
Cobalt: [salutes] Cobalt, field commander.
Proto: [salutes] Proto, weapons expert.
Both: [in unison] Reporting for duty, sir!
Direwolf: Chill out, you guys. Now listen, you two. We just spotted someone strolling along the crowd and he's a Disney character. Check it out.
He presses a button on his desk to activate the main monitor on the wall. The screen shows the trio footage of what appears to be Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, strolling through the crowd.
Cobalt: Oh no, not this bozo again!
Direwolf: So do you know this guy?
Cobalt: His name's Gaston. He's the vain hunter and so-called "hero" of a local town who sought to win Belle's hand in marriage.
Proto: But she refused him, yeah?
Cobalt: Multiple times, yes. But what would he be here of all places?
Direwolf: That's what we want to find out. As we know, Maleficent is a cunning witch, but we need to know if this is a part of some plan she's got. We need to find out if Mr. Vanity is with the Dark Side.
Cobalt: HA! I doubt it. Despite his reputation, Gaston is too much of a loner. He flies solo.
Direwolf: We don't know for sure yet. And since you know about him more than us, you can shadow him.
Cobalt: What, me?
Direwolf: Yes, you. And if he is with the enemy, we're going to pound him hard enough to make him never come back here again.
Proto: Not only that, but we'd have to keep Resistance Centre a secret. Maybe if he is a spy for the Dark Side, we might suspect he would-
Direwolf: Anyway, Cobalt should handle him. Proto, on the other hand, needs to help the Looney Tunes with Bomb Voyage. The French guy is too stubborn to admit our probational offer, and they've tried everything. He even spoke violently in French.
Proto: Speaking violently? You mean he was cursing in French?
Direwolf: No. He can't even say a swear word anyway. He's a rated-G toon, so he can never curse. So they need your help with this.
Proto: Okay. I'm on it.
Cobalt: So, where's Gaston at?
Direwolf walked to the map of Resistance Centre with Cobalt and Proto following him.
Direwolf: He was last sighted… right here. At Ecchi Avenue.
Cobalt: What? That's in the anime district!
Direwolf: Yeah, that's where he's going.
Proto: What would Gaston be going there?
Direwolf: I may have a feeling. Ecchi is a genre in manga and anime, which means most of the characters would be… sexy.
Cobalt: [sarcastic] Great. So he's a pervert too.
Direwolf: Well what are you standing here for? Go get him!
Cobalt salutes before he dashes off out of the office to the elevator door before it closes behind him.
Act Four
Later, Cobalt is now in the anime district, where most of the toons are anime characters, and he seemed peeved about it.
Cobalt: This is not what I signed in for. I came here to save the Disney characters who are not with the enemy, and the General gets me into something that's more likely to be at his alley. He's been a fanatic of anime since we were kids.
As he is approaching Ecchi Avenue, an anime toon barker is making an announcement.
Toon barker: Step right into Ecchi Avenue. Here, we have all the hot chicks from your favourite shows: Sekirei, High School DxD, Maken-Ki, To Love-Ru….
But Cobalt ignores him to press on and join the line that enters the place. At the front of the line, several kids dressed as adults go in.
Doorman: Are you over 17?
Young Boy: Yes.
Younger Boy: Yes.
A baby spits his dummy out, gurgles and walks in. Cobalt sees Gaston next in line from afar, and he keeps an eye on him. But when the crowd pushes him, he loses sight of Gaston.
Elsewhere in Ecchi Avenue is the Café and Karaoke House. At the entrance, Ben Grimm/The Thing (Michael Chiklis) from Fantastic Four is acting as a bouncer to stand in front of Pete, who is trying to go in. Standing by Ben's side is Fibber (032) from Lilo and Stitch the series.
Ben: Sorry pal, you're not on the list.
Pete: What do you mean I'm not on the list? I thought I showed them Resistance boys that I don't work with the Dark Side. You were there when it happened.
Ben: Sure, but your profile says you've done a lot of bad stuff to Mickey and friends in the House of Mouse. It mostly requires you to just get a probation or a restraining order, but it says here… you've had none.
Pete: So what?
Ben: You can't go anywhere cool or fancy unless you're on probation.
Pete: But I thought I did. And besides, I was being a good guy in the show.
[Fibber beeps]
Ben: Yeah. Fibber knows you're lying.
Pete: Just let me in so I can-
The Ben notices Skeletor arriving, and he just lets him in.
Ben: In you go, Skeletor.
Skeletor: Thank you, Grimm.
Pete: Skeletor?! He's a bonehead! Literally!
Ben: He's got a restraining order from gaining power, so he's pardoned to enter, but you can't because you're not pardoned. So beat it.
Pete sulks as he walks away. After he left, Gaston comes in to Ben.
Ben: What do you want, pretty boy?
Gaston: I wish to see someone there.
Ben: You know we know that you're a villain.
Gaston: Yes, I am aware of that. But I've signed for both a restraining order and probation, so I can't go anywhere near Belle or her Beast, and I cannot lay a finger on any gorgeous girl unless they want me to. I wish to see someone from long ago that I haven't seen in a long time, and I know that he works here.
Ben is paying attention to Fibber, who hasn't been beeping at all, so he knows Gaston is in the clear as he lets him in. And then, Cobalt arrives at the doorway.
Ben: Captain. [shakes hands]
Cobalt: Good to see you again, Ben. Hey, did you see a hulking Prince Charming wannabe with a double-chin?
Ben: Yeah, he's inside. But he's on probation and restrained away from Belle.
Cobalt: Listen, this is a Resistance matter. We'd need to know if Gaston is a spy working for the Dark Side.
Ben: [shocked] Damn, I should've asked that. Well look, I've got Blue in there to check on all the villains who are also on probation. But if you need assistance, they'll be ready.
Cobalt: Have them ready.
Cobalt enters the doorway. Behind Ben is Pete, sneaking his way in, until he is caught by Ben and lifted up.
Ben: Nice try, tubby.
He throws Pete into the garbage, making a mess everywhere around him.
Pete: [huffs] Li-acs.
Cobalt walks down a short corridor towards a door behind which can be heard the sound of music playing. As Cobalt opens the door, he is in what appears to be a café. On stage are Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny from South Park, singing "If I Didn't Have You" in karaoke. Watching this are numerous people, both toons and li-acs, seated round small tables and being served by Digimon. Around them are the Velociraptors from Jurassic Park, acting as guard dogs.
Looking ahead, Cobalt sees Gaston sitting on a table a bit closer to the stage, and he takes a seat where he can see him. The karaoke ends as the music stops, and the boys bow to the applauding patrons.
Stan: Thank you, everyone. Please enjoy your desserts this café is offering, and we can keep on singing.
Kyle: And since tonight is Tuesday, we're going to sing to you one of the songs from The Wizard of Oz.
Cartman: Kenny, give the order.
Kenny: [muffled] Alright. Bring us the next line.
Gaston: Does anyone know what that dwarf is saying?
The boys begin to sing "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz". Cobalt sits quietly as Shoutmon from Digimon Fusion comes up to take his order like a waiter.
Shoutmon: Good day, captain.
Cobalt: Hey, Shoutmon.
Shoutmon: Glad you could make it. We've got ourselves a carrot cake and cherry chip, your favourite.
Cobalt: I'll have a piece of each. …And a peppermint latte.
On stage, the boys are just about to finish, and Kenny ends the song when he pulls out a match and lights a fart on fire, then laughs. His parka suddenly erupts in flames and he screams in horror, as Cartman beats him with a microphone.
Cartman: Ah! Oh my God! Hey! Aw, shit! Aw, shit!
Stan: Somebody, get a fire extinguisher!
Kyle: A bucket of water, anybody!
Terriermon rushes in with a bucket of water, tosses the liquid to Kenny, but the inferno was increased and it made Kenny scream louder. The stunned Terriermon looks at the bucket, which said gasoline, and Kenny turns to ash.
Stan: Oh my God, you killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastard!
Two hooks appear from either side of the stage and pull the boys off the stage to the applause of the audience as the curtain falls.
Li-ac: [chuckles] Man. Those boys are so hilarious, they never get the act done the right way.
But Cobalt shakes his head in disbelief, before Shoutmon comes over with two slices of different cake and a latte.
Cobalt: Thanks.
He is about to have a taste of the carrot cake first, but he discovers something within the cake, and he pulls it out to find a baby carrot in it.
Cobalt: Ha. Toons.
Shoutmon: Sorry, I guess I should've checked them first.
Cobalt: It's fine.
Girl voice: Coupons. Gift cars. Captain Cobalt, is that you?
Cobalt and Shoutmon look behind them, and they see Zoey Hanson from Mew Mew Power serving with a platter of coupons and gift cards.
Cobalt: Zoey.
Zoey: Long time no see!
Cobalt: What are you doing here?
Zoey: I work here now. Life's been kinda dull since English dubbing for Mew Mew Power got cancelled, I still got it, CC. [posing] Mew Mew Power, in your face.
Cobalt: Yeah, you still got it.
Shoutmon: She and I have become café buddies now. I may not be king of the Digital World, but I'm still planning it.
Zoey: More importantly, what brings you here, Captain? It's not like you to come to the anime district.
Cobalt: You see Gaston over there? He's the reason why I'm here. Ben Grimm says he's been pardoned, but the General thinks he's a Dark Side spy.
Zoey: What, him?
Shoutmon: Nah! He's not that type.
The microphone on stage goes static as Keroberos/Kero from Cardcaptors taps on it to give the crowd's attention.
Kero: Ladies and gentlemen, the Café and Karaoke House would like to please welcome one of our leading, voluntary singers. Make way and open your ears to the one and only… Princess Ariel.
There is a growing commotion all around Cobalt. He turns to indicate a li-ac who is gesticulating towards the stage.
Cobalt: What's their deal?
Zoey: Most of the men here never miss a night when Ariel performs.
Cobalt: So they're into married women, huh?
Zoey: Huh? You didn't know?
Cobalt: Know what?
Shoutmon: Well… we thought you've heard. Some of the performances you've seen in Disney movies were… not true. Sure, The Little Mermaid franchise shows you Ariel and Prince Eric being married and having Melody for a daughter, but that's not true. They're both still single, and Melody is really Eric's cousin.
Cobalt: Really?
Zoey: Shhh. The show's starting. We can't miss it.
The room goes suddenly quiet and the silence is broken when a siren-voiced woman begins to sing. It is Princess Ariel, singing her song "Part of your World". As she appears from behind the curtains, the men go wild because she was showing off her bare legs from her dress. Unable to take his eyes away from Ariel, Cobalt leans back to Zoey.
Cobalt: [whispers] Are you sure she's single?
Zoey: Yeah. What a lonely girl.
Ariel keeps on singing as she walks off stage to approach the patrons, and the men are about to touch her, until the raptors hiss as a way of telling them not to touch. The music's over, Ariel walks back on stage as the curtains fall, and everyone applauds. But now the show is over, Cobalt can pay attention to Gaston, who is getting up from the table and heading off somewhere.
Act Five
Gaston is entering a room where it has a "Staff Only" sign on the wall, but he is going there anyway. All of a sudden, Cobalt shows up to grapple Gaston and pins him to the wall, holding him at gunpoint.
Gaston: Cobalt?
Cobalt: What're you up to this time? Starting talkin'!
Gaston: What makes you think I'm-
But Gaston sees a mirror next to him that shows him his reflection, and he cleans his teeth with his tongue.
Gaston: Anyway, I'm not here to cause any trouble.
Cobalt: You think I'm going to buy your false innocent act, Gaston?
Gaston: I'm honest. Besides, I'm not interested in Belle anyway. She's pretty, but it's all just an act. Haven't you heard?
Cobalt is thinking about what Shoutmon said to him back then about most parts of Disney movies being just acts, so he calmly removes his hand off of Gaston.
Cobalt: I've only known that part from one of the waiters here, but you're also on probation because you're one of the Disney villains.
Gaston: Sure I am. Plus, I was going to be offered a spot with Maleficent's Top Ten, but I refused.
Cobalt: And why would you? She can have the power to-
Then the conversation is interrupted when Prince Eric, also from The Little Mermaid, comes over.
Eric: I thought I heard something here. Is there a problem, gentlemen? This hallway is for staff only.
Cobalt: Just having a chat with this guy.
Gaston: Eric, I've come just like you called.
Cobalt: Called?
Eric: Yes, I called him here this morning. And trust me, he's not with the Dark Side of Disney.
Cobalt watches Gaston and Eric walking down the hall and into a room. The door closes behind them, muffling their words. Cobalt tries to peer through the keyhole, but then Blue from Jurassic World comes over, peering at him.
Cobalt: Oh hey, Blue. How's it going?
Then Cobalt is being escorted out of the Café and Karaoke House by Blue and the raptors, which they do by surrounding and snarling at him.
Cobalt: Hey, come on. I know the sign said staff only, but I just wanted to know if Gaston can be trusted here.
The raptors all took their leave, closing the door behind them. Cobalt is about to leave when he hears Gaston and Eric talking through one of the nearby windows. He pulls up a box and peers through a gap in the curtains.
Eric: We really shouldn't do this, Gaston. Ariel is in her room, most of li-acs with the Resistance are here, and I just feel like we should-
Gaston: Why do you worry about yourself? No one shows courage like Gaston, and no one takes action like Gaston.
Eric: Perhaps, but what if Blue and the others find out.
Gaston: They're all beasts. They wouldn't mind.
Cobalt: [whispers; to himself] Wouldn't mind about what?
Eric: Well… alright. But we'd have to make it snappy.
Cobalt is starting to get curious about what Eric and Gaston are about to do, so he takes out his iPhone to have photo proof. But then, he sees something extremely shocking. It turns out that both Eric and Gaston are making out, stripping each other's clothing, flopping on the bed and smooching, while the shocked Cobalt just films the whole scene.
Cobalt: You gotta be kidding me.
Act Six
In the General's office, Direwolf is laughing hysterically because of everything that Cobalt has witnessed.
Direwolf: They just…. They were making out?! [laughing] You're telling me that Gaston and Prince Eric… [laughs] …are homosexual? [laughing] Oh, I just can't stop thinking about it! [laughing]
Proto: Take a breather, sir. It's not the first time toons would be homosexual.
Proto hands him a handkerchief which Direwolf wipes his tears with. He hands it back dripping with water and Proto tosses it to the garbage can, which is where it bursts into flames.
Direwolf: [heaving; relaxed] Okay, I'm good. But do you have evidence?
Cobalt: Yes, sir. I took pictures of it on my phone and a video.
Cobalt shows Direwolf and Proto his video of Gaston and Eric making out on his phone, which seems to be shocking to only Proto, then the video ends
Direwolf: Other that that, Gaston's not with the Dark Side?
Cobalt: Negative. Although he said they were giving him a position at their side, he just… turned them down, which doesn't seem right. Because of Maleficent being a powerful individual and the founder/leader of the Dark Side of Disney, most villains in Disneyworld would join in. Even Judge Claude Frollo would have to say yes.
Direwolf: What else did you find?
Cobalt: Just the parts where some parts in movies were just acts. Is that true, Proto?
Proto: Well… yes. Some cartoons are just acts and stuff, however the live-action ones aren't. The Marvel Cinematic Universe, the X-Men film series, Godzilla, even… Transformers. There are times when the bad guys or the good guys would die and regenerate, as long as they stay in their worlds.
Cobalt: Well, if that's the case, then… we'd have-
Direwolf: Wait. Was Princess Ariel there?
Cobalt: [pauses] …Yeah.
Direwolf: Forget it. Don't even say it, cowboy.
Cobalt: Say what? I didn't say anything yet.
Direwolf: No, but you were thinking it. [imitates Cobalt] "Now that some toons are just being actors, we do whatever we want now that they're single".
Cobalt: That's not what I was going to say.
Direwolf: You were thinking about it. We all know you're attracted to Ariel, but do you know what's the important rule of toons?
Cobalt: They, uh… can't die so easily outside of their world?
Direwolf: No.
Proto: They can't say curse words unless they're rated PG or PG-13 or R.
Direwolf: Close enough, but no. They don't make out with li-acs. Toons don't have sex with li-acs! That's the rule we have to follow, because if it happens, then the fabric of reality would be disrupted.
Cobalt: Sir, that kind of law works in Cool World. I mean, you're taking advice from a box office bomb?
Then, Mushu from Mulan sweeps into the office and rings the gong to grab the trio's attention.
Mushu: Alright, alright, people listen up! Mushu is on stage now, so pay attention. [clears throat] I have a report from outside the station, but first off, I'd like to say that I'm grateful for being here as your messenger, though it's kind of like the old job I had back in my movie, but I'd say-
Then he is interrupted when Cri-Kee perches on his gong and chirps with a glare.
Mushu: Alright, I'll get to the point. We've got two guys heading this way. A lion with a scar and a guy in purple.
Proto: Sounds like Scar and Ratcliffe. Are the Governor looking for gold again?
Cobalt: But when there's Scar, there's usually hyenas with them.
Direwolf: Cobalt, round up your Major Squad. Engage the enemy.
Cobalt: [salutes] Yes, sir!
In another room, Cobalt walks in through the door and the lights flicker on to illuminate his War Machine suit that opens up the front side. He steps in, the suit automatically closes its front side to fit him perfectly, and he is ready to go.
P.A.: All Major Squad members report to the assembly hall.
In the assembly hall, many members of the Resistance's Major Squad, which includes Wolverine, Snake Eyes, Sakura, Flint Hammerhead and Taz, are standing side by side in a single file and they salute in the presence of Cobalt and Proto as they approach them.
Proto: Listen up. We're going outside and dealing with some trespassers for getting too close to the perimeter. Two Disney villains, both Top Ten. Names: Scar and Ratcliffe.
Cobalt: We might be facing some hyenas and Velociraptors, so we're going to have animals on this mission. Sonic, Taz, Snake Eyes, and Sakura, you're all with us. Howard, Dennis, Marko, defence position. The rest of you, stay put and guard the base entrance.
Squad members: Sir, yes, sir!
Cobalt: Bus!
[bus beeps]
The beeping came from the shadows, but arriving on cue is the Magic School Bus from the TV series to pull over next to the squad. The door opens; those who were selected get inside, before Cobalt and Proto get in as well, and the door closes behind. Up top, the ceiling opens up like a secret door, and the platform under the bus rises up to take the team outside into a desolate landscape.
Meanwhile, Direwolf is in the monitor room where numerous technicians are giving a visual of the Major Squad.
Direwolf: Captain, the technician have looked through the radar, and no sign of any life-forms all around you. You are clear to take off.
Cobalt: Alright. Time to transform.
Back outside, Cobalt pulls the red lever, and the Magic School Bus transforms into a bat before it flies off.
Act Seven
Elsewhere, there is a campsite of hyenas guarding the place and it is raining a pit. Inside the main tent, Ratcliffe is going through the map of the country, which appears to be the United States of America. Scar is laying out on a couch picking his teeth with a bone.
Ratcliffe: This is ridiculous. I'm a Governor, and they sent me here like an errand boy, just for a handful of gold?
Scar: Oh, do lighten up.
Scar tosses the bone to a pile of bones at the corner, clattering the ribcage.
Scar: We've only come here to find what we can from Hook's ship. Why, are you worried about facing the Resistance?
Ratcliffe: No, I am not worried. Because if I encounter them, I'd assure I would be fully aware as we should be, and don't think I don't remember what those backstabbers did to me.
Scar: Of course not. The time when you fired a musket and they had assault rifles when you-
Ratcliffe: I'm very well aware of what would happen the next time history would repeat itself. But mark my words, Scar, when the Resistance dare to challenge me, victory in battle will be mine at last.
Then entering the tent is the hyena trio, Shenzi, Banzai and Ed.
Banzai: Hey Boss!
Scar: Oh, what is it this time?
Banzai: We got a bone to pick with you.
Shenzi: [to Banzai] I'll handle this. [to Scar] Look, we've scour the entire area, and found a few remains of the Jolly Roger. But there's no food, no water….
Banzai: Yeah, it's dinner time, and we ain't got no stinkin' entrees.
Ratcliffe: Enough, you whiny dogs!
Shenzi: Uh, technically speaking, we're hyenas.
Scar: [exasperated] It's the raptors' job to do the hunting.
Banzai: Yeah, but they won't go hunt.
Ratcliffe: We're here on a mission, not for a buffet. The Resistance could be out there in one of their outposts, so you just have to find any if you can.
Shenzi: Hey, chill out, Governor. We know how to hunt, we just feel comfortable because of-
Scar: Please. Don't be bothered. Maleficent knows what she's doing.
Banzai: [to Shenzi] I thought things were bad under Mufasa.
Scar: [quick and angry] What did you say?
Banzai: I said Muf...
Shenzi is smiling at Scar and thwaps Banzai to remind him.
Banzai: I said, uh… "Qué pasa?"
Scar: Good. Now get out.
The hyenas take their leave out of the tent. But as they get out, Shenzi looks at the Velociraptors picking scraps of meat from bones and fighting each other.
Shenzi: Look at us. Being around those featherless birds. I was going to say that we feel uncomfortable hunting with them.
Banzai: Man, that Scar's got the worst choice of character. Why not have some of Maleficent's goons or those pirates?
Shenzai: They don't feel like it because they're not animals.
Banzai: Well, it's better than the Drej. They almost destroyed the planet.
Ed: [laughs]
Banzai: Oh, shut up, Ed!
Unbeknownst to the entire camp, Sonic the Hedgehog is spying on it with binoculars on a hilltop nearby, scouting the scene. He zips away and heads towards the others, waiting by the Magic School Bus.
Sonic: Scout report. You were right, captain. There's hyenas and raptors in the campsite.
Cobalt: Any update on what they're doing?
Sonic: Not really. Nope.
Proto: We're gonna have to engage anyway. The animals will be a big problem, unless we get them out of the campsite, and when we do, we'll have a chance to deal with the two leaders.
Cobalt: Good call, Proto. But to do that, we'll need to come up with something to lure them out.
Sakura: Hey, I got one. I will use the Sweet Card to make a cake, and when they smell it, they'll come after it.
Proto: Not a bad idea, but we're dealing with raptors and hyenas. They prey on meat, not sweets.
Sakura begins to think of another plan, but when she sees the sun going down, she gets an idea.
Sakura: Maybe it can, if I also use the Create Card. It's already sunset, and it's magic should work.
Cobalt: Very well. Use both cards to lure them away. And Taz, when they take the bait, go for the attack, but make it fast.
Taz: Bait?
Sonic: By the way, Captain. I think Saber could be a good scout on this-
Cobalt: Don't get me started. Sakura, do it.
Sakura: Uh, okay. Create! Sweet!
Using both of her cards, Sakura summons them to make a large, stuffed turkey on a platter and a sweet aroma is sipping into thin air.
Back in the campsite, the hyenas are pacing around to guard the entrance, until they pick up a scent.
Banzai: [sniffing] Hey. You smell that?
Shenzi: [sniffs] Yeah. So let's get it before the raptors do.
Banzai: Come on, guys.
Most of the hyenas follow the trio out of the campsite, but the raptors also pick up the scent and decide to follow it as well. They all come together to take a gander at the large turkey with their mouths drooling, eager to eat the big bird. Suddenly, Taz pops out, spins around and attacks the hyenas by shedding their fur off until they're completely naked, much to their embarrassment. But the raptors are all scale, so Taz just runs off with the raptors chasing after him throughout the landscape.
Meanwhile, Ratcliffe walks out of the tent with Scar, but they find out that most of their guards are gone.
Ratcliffe: Where on Earth have those mutts run off to?
Scar: Well, they must be hunting for food.
Ratcliffe: Most of them?
[explosion]
An explosion on the wall blows a hole right through, and the Major Squad is present, ready to fight.
Cobalt: Gotcha good.
Ratcliffe: [stunned] It's the Resistance!
Scar: Hyenas!
The hyenas who stayed behind all charge in for the attack, and the Resistance fight them off, except for Sakura as she hides behind a boulder. Cobalt uses his mini-gun on his right shoulder to shoot the hyenas in sight, but one of them tackles him from behind, until Snake-Eyes karate chops it off of him.
Ratcliffe is taking his leave, until Snake Eyes stands in his way to brandish his katana.
Ratcliffe: I once said that I would face the Resistance. You can be a fresh start, my silent foe.
The Governor drew his sword and engaged Snake Eyes in a sword fight.
Proto is running up a hilltop with a rocket launcher, and he takes aim at Ratcliffe to finish him, until Scar pounces on the weapon to disarm Proto. Now Scar is pacing around Proto, who looks at him with an angry glare.
Proto: You.
Scar: Yes, me. So good you could come for more. Because you know… I enjoyed eating your limbs the last time we crossed paths.
Proto: I may have lost them because I was too arrogant. But this time… I'm not.
Proto's hands retract claws from the fingers, and he fights Scar like wild animals. Whenever Scar will bite him, Proto blocks the blow with his metal arm in order for him to slash the lion. Scar claws back, knocking Proto away.
Proto: [groans in pain]
Scar: Face it. You humans may be the top predators, but you'd never face off a lion.
Proto: Says the lowlife who… killed his own brother.
Angered, Scar makes to pounce on Proto, but he lifts his legs, and tosses him over the edge of the hill, where he gets skewered by the rocks below. When everyone hears that thud, they look to where Scar lies dead, and the hyenas whimper in fear as they dash off to run away. Even Ratcliffe notices Scar is defeated.
Ratcliffe: Curses! There goes one of the Top Ten.
Snake Eyes is about to slash him, but Ratcliffe threw dirt at his face that allows him to escape the campsite.
The Major Squad circles around Scar's body, equally stunned to see him dead.
Sakura: Is he… dead?
Dennis: Oh, he's dead alright. No one could survive that fall.
Cobalt: Proto? Did you…?
Proto: I did, and he deserved it.
Sakura: So this means… we've defeated one of the Top Ten of the Dark Side of Disney!
Howard: Well, this calls for a celebration.
Act Nine
In Resistance Centre, there's a party going on in a gorgeous penthouse. Disco lights spin; toons and li-acs dance and drink. Scar's head is mounted on the wall over the fireplace. Timon and Pumbaa, both from The Lion King, are the DJs to play Celebration by Kool & the Gang.
Outside, Saber is walking alone down the hallway, still bummed that he couldn't be a part of the Resistance. He looks up just as "WE GOT SCAR" fireworks burst over the penthouse on the upper level. Curious, he digs two bottles out of the trash. He uses them as binoculars, and aims them at the penthouse.
Ralph: "Congrats for ending Scar"? They're having a party without me.
He looks through the bottles again; there are ice sculptures and a giant buffet table. Dancing with the team is Barney from Barney & Friends.
Saber: Barney? [shocked] They invited Barney?! [angry] That song-sucking dinosaur isn't even part of this team!
Angry, he slams the bottles down and they shatter as he makes his way.
Back in the penthouse, Proto struts through the room, happy and proud.
Mario: Great party, Proto
Proto: Thanks a lot, Mario.
Li-ac man: You really outdid yourself, bro.
Li-ac woman: Proto. You're needed on the dance floor.
The li-ac woman drags him onto a colorful dance floor. Proto does the robot dance, and everyone follows along. During the dance, Cobalt is standing at the bar, sipping a drink, and Direwolf comes over to his side.
Direwolf: Another time's good work, Cobalt. You're starting to become a super soldier with your teammates and yourself.
Cobalt: Thanks for the compliment, but I think Steve Rogers should have the title than me.
[door knocks]
Cobalt: That must be SpongeBob. Better late than never. I'll get it.
By the time Cobalt leaves, Saber arrives towards the General.
Saber: Sir? Where's Cobalt?
Direwolf: He's at the door.
Cobalt dances to the door and opens it. A smiling Ariel appears at the door frame. Cobalt gasps and slams the door, breathing heavily in shock. Ariel still stands at the door outside the penthouse, waiting for something, until Cobalt slips out.
Cobalt: Sorry about that.
Ariel: I hope I didn't disturb you or anything.
Cobalt: No, no, I was stunned because we… never thought of inviting you when you seemed interested.
Ariel: Oh, don't be. I've been wanting to say that…. When I saw you at the anime district, I was surprised. I mean, General Direwolf has been saying that you weren't such a big fan of anime.
Cobalt: That would not be so true. I like some anime shows, but it's just… he's been bragging about it since we went to middle school together. I was there to see if Gaston is-
Ariel: …with Maleficent? He's been in the Centre for three months. He had to be in the reforming room since then to fill in all of his papers to give him a place here with the rest of us.
Cobalt: That, we probably should've asked first. But other than that… did you know that Prince Eric was… gay?
Ariel: At first, no. When we began filming for The Little Mermaid, I didn't know he was. He is handsome, but halfway throughout the movie when I found out, I was heartbroken, and that was after the part when my father destroyed my grotto.
Cobalt: [chuckles] Really?
Ariel: Yes. It was embarrassing because they filmed that, but it was put there because they wanted drama.
Cobalt: I'm… sorry it broke your heart. But there are other guys in the world you can date- I mean, hang out with.
Ariel: [giggles] Actually, dating is more like it. But if I must be honest… you do almost look just like Eric, except you're more fierce and strong.
Cobalt: [dense] Wha- me? Well, I, um….
Finally, the door opens, and Squidward Tentacles from Spongebob Squarepants sticks his head out.
Squidward: Cobalt, come inside. We're going to cut the cake soon.
Cobalt: On my way. [to Ariel] Well, why don't you come in? There's room in the penthouse for a few more.
Ariel: Of course.
Inside, Cobalt opens the door to get in, escorting Ariel to enter. Some of the guests look at the two, even Direwolf sees them, but he notices they both were holding hands, much to disappointment. So he walks over to confront the two.
Direwolf: Excuse me, did you forget what we were talking about earlier today?
Cobalt: No, sir. I forgot none of it.
Direwolf: Then how come you're holding hands with the fish, huh? I said toons and li-acs don't make out together.
Cobalt: [nervous] Uh, well… uh… er, uh….
Ariel: But, if I'm to assume that anyone would know about dating a toon, it would be Waxworth.
Direwolf: Waxworth?
Ariel: Yes, I saw him dating Nani Pelekai a few days ago.
Across the dance floor, the li-ac Waxworth turns with a cup of punch and dancing. Direwolf's eyes narrow; he heads off towards Waxworth.
Direwolf: Hey, Waxworth?!
Cobalt: [whispers] Nice one.
Ariel giggles for being complemented, then Saber comes over to talk to his older brother.
Saber: Can you explain to me why I wasn't invited?
Cobalt: What? I thought you were asleep, since it's 10pm and it's usually your bedtime.
Saber: Cobalt, I'm a grown man. I don't need a bedtime.
Ariel: Um, Cobalt? Is he your brother?
Cobalt: Well, yeah. His name's Jack, and he's-
Saber: Saber.
Cobalt: Dude, not now. Anyway Ariel, let me get you a drink.
Cobalt and Ariel are heading to the buffet, and Saber is glaring at him for feeling unappreciated.
Meanwhile, Ratcliffe is walking along to a massive fortress, surrounded by the soldiers, and ends up in the dungeon. There, a soldier is in the next room, whipping a prisoner as Judge Claude Frollo listens.
Frollo: Soldier!
Soldier: Sir?
Frollo: Ease up. Wait between lashes. Otherwise the older sting will dull him to the new.
Soldier: Yes, sir.
As the soldier takes his leave, Frollo turns to Ratcliffe.
Frollo: Ah, the ever-punctual Governor Ratcliffe, home from the wars.
Ratcliffe: And thank heavens I have survived. Unfortunately, we lost Scar.
Frollo: So it would seem to be. But I will give you some news. His death was a necessary sacrifise, just like my last captain of the guard who was a disappointment to me.
A whip crack and a scream interrupt Frollo. Ratcliffe appears startled at the crack.
Frollo: Well, no matter. I'm sure we can all whip our men into shape.
Ratcliffe: How is Scar's death a good thing for us when he was one of us?
Frollo: Because his death will be avenged. Maleficent's been talking to us about her plan, since you were too busy looking for a place to dig for gold. Perhaps if I shared it with you, you could retaliate.
Ratcliffe: [interested] Hmmm. I'm listening.
Act Ten
The next day, Cobalt is back in the General's office with Direwolf, Proto and Saber in present. He unwraps something in his hand and it reveals to be a sword that looks like a Nerf N-Force Marauder Long Sword with a red dragon symbol on the blade.
Cobalt: Dragon Marauder. Not bad at all.
Proto: It's not the same as a lightsaber, but it'll do the trick. The blade's made out of Vibranium, straight from Wakanda, and it's been retrofitted with plasma charge from Toothless's scales.
Direwolf: Now that's dealt with, let's get to the point. The hyenas are still on the march, and they're picking up our scent. I would suggest that you should get out there and finish them off.
Saber: I agree. That way, we can be rid of Scar and those dogs once and for all.
Cobalt: That is too risky. No one picks a fight with a pack of hyenas. My team and I did before, but we got lucky because we were together. That's it. If take them on, I would be overpowered.
Saber: That's why I'm tagging along.
Cobalt: No. I just said no man fights a hyena, so I can't let you get hurt yourself.
Direwolf: Noted. But Cobalt, there's one thing you should know.
Cobalt: Yes, General?
Direwolf: [angry] YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT THERE WITHOUT BACKUP!
Proto: The decision is already made after all. You and Saber are going together, and that's that.
Cobalt groans in frustration for being ignored. But having some thoughts about giving Saber a chance to help him with the hyenas, he thinks about it.
Cobalt: Alright. I'll get my suit on. But Saber, you have to stay close to me.
Saber: [salutes excitedly] Yes, sir! Right away, sir!
Cobalt: And also… the Eds. I don't trust them without you.
In Honest Eds', Edd gets a text message from his phone. He answers it, saying it's about Saber telling him and the others to go into the shed.
Edd: Uh, guys? Jack wants us to go into the shed for safe keeping.
Eddy: Are you kidding, Double D. It's opening time, so we-
But then, Eddy sees something that stuns him. Edd waves a hundred dollar bill in front of a shed, and Eddy gets excited He dives on Edd, knocking him into the shed.
Edd: Ed! Close the door!
Ed closes the door from the outside. Realizing what he's done, he stops and opens it. He enters the shed.
Eddy is running around a padded cell built in the shed.
Eddy: You and me against the world, baby! YEAH!
Edd locks the numerous locks put on the shed, and he gives Ed a key.
Edd: Now Ed, hide this key discreetly.
Ed: Okay.
Ed puts the key between two slices of bread and eats it as a sandwich.
Meanwhile, Cobalt and Saber are riding the Magic School Bus in a bat form, looking for any sign of the hyenas. Saber is sticking his head out the window to look around, and he sees something.
Saber: Down there.
The batty bus swoops down to the ground and makes a landing. Cobalt and Saber both walk out of Bus, staring at a trail of hyena tracks. Because they've shrunk in size due to the bus's transformation, the footprints are large.
Cobalt: It's them, alright. But these tracks look like they're heading towards the Black Forest.
Saber bends over one of the footprints, feeling the warmth of it, and he sniffs it like a dog.
Saber: They're fresh.
Cobalt: They're not far ahead. Come on.
The two rush back into the batty bus before he flies off into the woods.
Back in Resistance Centre, Direwolf and Proto are pacing around in the terminal room, waiting for a response.
Direwolf: Anything yet?
Technician 1: Not a thing, sir.
Proto: Cobalt says they're heading to the Black Forest, which doesn't seem right.
Direwolf: Why is that?
Proto: It's almost like the one Maurice went into before he was attacked by the wolves that drove him to the castle.
Direwolf: Nonsense. The wolves are long gone; they will find nothing there.
Technician 2: Sir, we've got something on radar.
Proto: What? What is it?
Technician 2: Unknown. I'm getting a reading, though. It's growing too. It's a massive signature, and…. Hey, I think I'm getting a visual. It's coming clear.
Everyone in the terminal room is anxious to know what it is.
Technician 2: It's a….
Meanwhile, the batty bus flies through the woods, still searching for the hyenas. Saber's walkie-talkie is going static as he tries to contact someone, but to no avail.
Saber: I can't get a signal. We must be getting too deep into the woods. Maybe we should go back.
Cobalt: There they are!
The hyena trio are right ahead, walking along the path. Banzai looks back, and the Magic School Bus turns into a Triceratops, charging at full speed.
Banzai: Whoa! Here they come!
The trio make a break for it as the Tricera-bus drives around to get them, and the two brothers jump out to face them. But when they are ready to fight, the hyenas are running away instead of fighting.
Cobalt: Strange. Usually, they wouldn't mind when some fresh meat shows up.
Saber: Maybe they're just-
[ground rumbling]
Because of that rumbling, Cobalt and Saber are puzzled about it, until there is a beeping coming from Cobalt's left wrist. He looks at it, and a red light flickers an SOS, as if it is an emergency.
Cobalt: They were leaking a trail to decoy us from the base!
Alarmed, they both rush back into the bus and drive through the woods to get out. The Magic School Bus drives farther across the landscape, until it makes a stop at what appears to be a small canyon filled with debris and dead bodies. Cobalt and Saber get out to see it themselves, and they are shocked.
Saber: We're too late!
Cobalt: No. [breathes heavily] NO!
The two slide down the debris-filled remains of Resistance Centre, where they find bodies of both li-acs and toons scattered around. Cobalt is shocked to find Ariel's hair sticking out from under the rubble, and he brushes them off to see her dead face, much to his sorrow. He takes off his helmet, and falls to his knees, holding onto her face.
Cobalt: Ariel. [tearfully] Not her.
Saber finds Silver's cyborg arm, which appears to be severed, and he picks it up for inspection.
Saber: Even Silver didn't deserve death.
A burst of green flames appears in between the two brothers and an image of Maleficent appears.
Cobalt: Maleficent!
Saber: No way!
Maleficent: Well, well, well. What have we here…? If it isn't the wretched Resistance captain, and his pitiful baby brother!
Saber: [ticked] What!? Now you're gonna deal with me!
Saber leaps to attack but flies right through her, and crashes onto the debris.
Maleficent: All in good time. I promise you'll be able to partake of my vengeance. But you must be patient.
Cobalt: How did you know where the base was?
Maleficent: Well, if you must know, I put a tracker on Bomb Voyage, and you let him in.
Cobalt is shocked to hear that because it was him who brought the mime supervillain into Resistance Centre without realizing he had a tracker.
Maleficent: Of course, I let Governor Ratcliffe order for the explosion to destroy your sanctuary, and your precious friends.
Cobalt: Mark my words, devil-woman! One of these days, you're horny head's going to be mounted on my wall!
Maleficent: Ooh, how frightening. Feel free to do so. But there is a mishap: the Resistance is no more.
She disappears and cackles evilly. Cobalt kicks his helmet away, and roars in frustration that echoes all over the place, and he falls to his knees again to cry for suffering losses.
But in the shed, the Eds are still alive and oblivious to know what's happened outside.
Eddy: What's taking so long? And what was that banging noise?
Ed: Oh, I know. It's Godzilla coming over to finish off Tokyo.
Edd: Ed, we're in the United States and Tokyo is in Japan, which is across the Pacific-
But then, Eddy hears a noise and he puts his ear to listen.
Eddy: What's that?
Outside, Saber is looking around to gather up all the dead remains of the victims in the fallen base. Inside, Eddy runs to the door and tries to open it.]
Edd: Hmmm, maybe it's spring cleaning day, Eddy.
Eddy: Whatever it is, let's go check it out.
He realizes the door is locked. He wrestles with it, trying to force it open.
Eddy: Where's the key?
Ed: I ate it! Discreetly.
Eddy is using Ed as a shovel, attempting to tunnel out from the shed.
Ed: Dig a hole. Dig a hole, dig a hole. I am a good shovel, huh Eddy?
Back outside, Cobalt and Saber are gathering up the remains of the victims, putting them on a big pile.
Saber: Is that everybody?
Cobalt: Yeah, that's everyone. If there's no one else left, it's possible they're under the debris.
Saber: I was at the assembly room, and all I found was this.
Saber reveals Snake Eyes's cracked visor. Cobalt takes it to look at it.
Cobalt: This belonged to Snake Eyes.
Saber: What do we do now?
Having some thought about it, Cobalt looks around at the rubble and he makes a decision as he looks at the bus up the hill.
Cobalt: Get on the bus. We can't stay here?
Saber: But where will we go?
Cobalt: Somewhere, as far away from Disneyworld as possible. If Proto and the others have survived, they'll know what to do. Let's go.
Cobalt and Saber both climb up the hill to get in the bus before the door closes. Cobalt takes one more look of the fallen base with sadness, and he ignites the engines to drive away, looking for a new place to hide from the Dark Side of Disney.
To Be Continued