A moment that changed everything.
A one shot of a single moment, a decision that would have changed the course of Mary and Matthew's lives.
Mary walked off the dance floor at the Ghillies ball. She loved dancing and especially here in Scotland. It was the highlight of her year. She was so happy she had not stayed behind in Downton while her family went without her. It's not 1850 she had told her husband and she had more than a month to go until their baby was due. Her baby, her's and Matthew's. The thought of it just left her speechless. How many years had they been separated because of stubbornness and pride? How many other lives were touched or ruined because they had refused to just admit that they belonged together? Thankfully they had both come to their senses and agreed to marry and spend the rest of their lives together. There were challenges, but it really was like living a dream. She had always marveled at her parents' marriage; the way they shared a bed, the way they would kiss when they thought no one was looking and sometimes when they knew people were looking. She thought herself above that, how silly she was! Now she could not even face a night without being in Matthew's arms, she laughed how she had once said that really smart people sleep in separate bedrooms. How silly she was.
And now after months of trying, a secret operation, a miscarriage and finally a viable pregnancy, their child was almost here. In over a month they would be parents. She could not wait to see Matthew as a father. When she told Anna that she thought that Matthew needed a last trip before becoming a father, she knew he really did not. He was so excited about becoming a father. That was one of the reasons she had seen Dr. Ryder and had the operation only a few months after they married. She wanted to have his child and to make his dreams come true.
Matthew hovered throughout the pregnancy. That was true. And at times it was a bit much. But mostly it was sweet. He always asked how she was and how the baby was. His hands were always on her belly, feeling for movement and oh the look of sheer joy when the baby kicked his hand! And he spoke to the baby, and sang to it and read to it, even though the baby was not here yet. Mary could only imagine what he would do with their child when he or she was born. He was going to be a wonderful doting father that was for sure. It made Mary really look forward to becoming a mother. For surely there was no better partner on earth than her dear sweet Matthew.
Mary smiled as Matthew came off the dance floor heading her way. He was so handsome. He looked so wonderful in his white tie, as if he had worn it all his life. He was wearing his hair longer; his floppy blonde hair coming across his forehead. His smile lit up the room. He was looking a bit concerned at her, so she smiled brightly back at him. There was nothing to be concerned over.
"That was a lot of fun! I had forgotten how much I enjoyed a good dance. I'm so glad you taught me Hamilton House before we left England."
Mary smiled and brushed her husband's hand.
"Its my favorite. But you know I know all of them. And next year, when our baby is upstairs in the nursery, we will dance the whole night away together. But now I think I have overdone it a bit, I could just not stay out of it."
Matthew gave her a concerned look
"This is just what I was afraid of"
Mary took hold of her concerned husband's hand.
"Calm down. Everything's fine, but I wonder: would you mind terribly if I went home tomorrow?"
Matthew squeezed her hand
"Of course not. I'll tell Shrimpie tonight that we're leaving and"
But then Mary interrupted.
"No, not you. You must stay here."
Matthew looked puzzled.
"What do you mean? I don't want to let you out of my sight"
Mary patted his thigh to get his attention.
"But if you come, Mama and Papa will think they have to leave, and the party will break up."
Matthew discounted that
"So what? I'm coming with you."
Mary sighed. Matthew did not get it. He was still middle class that way.
"But its very unfair on Susan and Shrimpie when I'm perfectly all right. It's only a couple more days. Let me go, and I'll see you when I see you. Please."
Matthew let out a sigh, took hold of his wife's hand and looked her straight in the eye.
"Darling, its wonderful how much you care about your cousins and not wanting to break up the party. And I don't think your Mama and Papa should come with us and I will insist they stay. But I am not staying here without you. You want to be brave or maybe just independent, but you are carrying our child and I thought we have already discussed how we have spent enough time apart. Years of misunderstanding and a war. I will have no more of it. Not one extra night. You are my wife and my place is at your side, especially while you carry our child. I'm sorry I'm pulling husband rank here."
Mary smirked at him. She loved when he pulled "husband rank" as he liked to call it, because he never did it. But she was relieved; she really did not want to go home without him, she was just fearful of breaking up the party and causing a scene. She already knew how much Susan hated her and had gossiped about her back in the day.
"Alright have it your way. I would like to leave tomorrow. I don't know what you are going to do about Molesley, based on his behavior tonight he may need a little time before he's fit to travel."
Matthew smiled and rubbed his hand over his wife's knuckles.
"Darling, I lived twenty-seven years without a valet, I think I can manage a day on my own. I'll tell him to come home on a later day."
"ok then its settled. I hate to take Anna away from Bates. They seemed to really be enjoying themselves. I think I'm going to tell her to stay and I'll get Mrs. Hughes or one of the other maids to help me. I think I'll most likely not be going anywhere."
Matthew smiled.
"I'm going to find Shrimpie and then let's retire for the night. I'll pack my own bags and help you with yours if you don't want to trouble Anna."
Mary started to laugh.
"Maybe Bates can help you, because Anna will be doing mine."
A-A-A-A-A-A
The next morning Matthew and Mary departed for Downton after some quick good-byes, traveling without a Valet or a maid, very middle class. The ride to the train was bumpy and Mary was holding onto Matthew and then on the train she leaned into him as she rested. Matthew reveled in holding his wife in his arms. They had the train car to themselves with only the odd interruption from the conductor or the delivery of meals to their car. Occasionally Mary grimaced and rubbed her stomach.
"Mary, are you all right?"
"Everything is fine Matthew. Your son is very active is all."
Matthew placed his hands on her stomach and caressed it softly whispering to the baby to behave himself and let his mama rest.
Mary smiled, loving the way he was with her and his unborn child.
"You know, you keep talking as if the baby is a boy, but its very possible we will have a girl joining Sybbie in the nursery."
"Oh Matthew, I'm convinced I am carrying your heir."
"You know I don't care about that. I just want the baby to be healthy. And if we have only girls, I will break that entail. It's after the war, estates are at risk. In fact, maybe I'll do it now, so you can inherit instead of me."
Mary smiled lovingly at Matthew.
"It does not matter to me anymore. We are one person anyway, we inherit together. But if we only have girls, I'm glad to hear you will do it."
"Well certainly, I won't have any daughter of ours be treated the way you were. Speaking of which, when we get home, I must formally draw up my will. I want to make sure you are taken care of, if anything were to happen to me. I should have done it a long time ago; it was very remiss of me. In fact, I thought about it just before we left for Duneagle and I drew up a letter and had it witnessed. But I will make it formal."
"Matthew you are being morose. I don't want you ever talking that way. Do what you must, but don't ever leave me. I could not go on without you!"
Matthew gave her a teasing smile.
"So, your happy I came with you now. And did not stay in Scotland as you suggested."
Mary laughed.
"Of course, I'm happy. I just love it when you pull husband rank on me."
Mary leaned into Matthew more and he pulled her closer and they laughed together.
A-A-A-A
The train finally pulled into Downton Mary walked the platform as Matthew arranged for their luggage. All the sudden she felt a horrific pain. She realized she must be having contractions. It was just as darling Sybil had described it. The baby was coming early. They had to get to the hospital.
Matthew came down the platform and saw that Mary was not herself.
"My darling are you all right?"
Mary breathed deeply.
"Don't panic darling. But I think our son is ready to join us. Please call your mother and tell her to meet us at the hospital. Leave the cases here for later, please get the chauffer and let's go directly to the hospital."
Matthew took a few deep breaths trying to calm himself and to follow Mary's directions. Sitting in the back of the car, he held tightly onto Mary's hand as she squeezed it every time, she had pains. By the time they arrived at the hospital, Isobel was waiting for them. She ushered them over to some nurses who would get Mary settled into a room and then she pulled Matthew aside.
"Matthew you look absolutely panic stricken. You need to calm down or you will be no use to your wife at all. Your father was a doctor and he could barely be in the room when you were born, he was so nervous."
Matthew took several deep breaths in an effort to calm himself before he began to speak with a shake in his voice.
"I can't lose her mother. You know Mary is everything to me. I knew we should not have gone to Scotland. She was so insistent, and we had a lovely time, even if I had to spend so much of the time with the men and not with her. What am I going to do if something happens to Mary or our baby?"
Isobel looked at her son sternly but spoke reassuringly.
"Matthew, Mary is going to be fine. What happened with Sybil was a rare medical condition. Mary does not have that. The labor is a few weeks early, which means your son or daughter will be a little smaller and require a little extra care. But they will both be fine. You must get yourself in hand and support your wife. Of course, you can't be in the room when the labor gets worse and during the delivery, but it will comfort her to know you are nearby."
Matthew calmed down and looked at his mother appreciatively.
"Thank you, Mother. I so appreciate your support and you being here for Mary."
"Matthew, I'm a nurse and now I'm going to be a grandmother. I'm so happy to be here to help. Now stop fretting and let's go to Mary and be a strength to her. That is what she needs from you now."
Isobel led Matthew to the room where Mary had already changed into a hospital gown and had taken down her hair. She looked relaxed as she settled into the hospital bed.
"Isobel, thank you so much for meeting us here. I'm so glad you can be here for the birth especially with Mama still in Scotland."
Isobel smiled warmly.
"Did you let your family know that you are in labor? Do you want me to call them?"
Mary looked to Matthew and then back to Isobel.
"We came straight from the train. We have not even called Carson to let him know what happened to us. I don't want to alarm my family or for them to come rushing back from Scotland. I'm not sure what to tell Carson, he could never keep it from Papa if they were to call."
Isobel looked pensively.
"Why don't I call Carson and tell him that the two of you have decided to spend the night with me at Crawley house and then after the baby is born we can call your parents in Scotland and let Carson and the staff know as well. And let's not forget about Tom. I think he has been lonely here on his own."
This shook Matthew out of his silence.
"Mary what do you think?"
"I don't know. I'm torn. Matthew, you decide. I just…" She was caught up in a contraction.
"I'm going to call Robert; I don't think he will forgive me if I did not call him. After I finish the call, I will contact Carson and Tom."
Matthew rubbed Mary's back and hugged her.
"Are you ok, Can I go make the call?"
Mary looked at him deeply, tears in her eyes.
"Go and call. But come back quickly. And tell Tom not to worry, please."
Matthew understood her. He went to make the calls, promising Robert that he would let him know as soon as the baby was born. He tried to convince him to stay till the end of the scheduled stay, but Robert said that Cora would not have it and they would leave on the morning train and be back by the afternoon.
A-A-A-A-A
Matthew sat in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for word of his wife and child. Tom had joined him even though Matthew had assured him he would be fine on his own. But Tom had insisted saying that they were brothers in law and that he would come and support him and not to worry about him. Matthew was nervous enough and he did not want Tom to be reliving Sybil's birth and death. But Tom was much stronger than he thought, and he proved to be a great comfort to Matthew while he was not allowed by Mary's side.
The day had stretched into the night and early morning. Matthew could hear Mary's screams and it took all his control not to burst into the room and be beside his wife. One time, he did approach the door, but his mother pushed him out saying that a man had no place in the room and that Mary was going through a normal birth.
Matthew continued to pace the hallway, when the doors to Mary's room swung open and his mother greeted him with a broad smile on her face. She walked over to Matthew and pulled him into a hug.
"Matthew, congratulations! You are a father and the baby is magnificent. And Mary and the baby are perfectly healthy."
Matthew gasped and smiled widely.
"Can I see Mary? What is the baby? A girl or a boy?"
Isobel smiled.
"I'll take you now. Mary is very tired, it was a difficult and long labor, so be mindful. And she wants to tell you herself, so I will leave it to her."
After receiving a hearty handshake from Tom, Matthew followed his mother into the room where Mary lay on a bunch of pillows, sweat still pouring off her face and hair. In her arms was a small baby bundled in a white blanket. When Mary saw her husband, a wide smile took over her face.
"Say hello to your son and heir"
Matthew sat down next to Mary on the bed and took the small infant from her arms.
"Hello, my dearest little chap..I wonder if he has any idea how much joy he brings with him?"
Matthew looked at his wife, while still having the baby in his arms.
"My darling, how are you? Really?"
Mary gave him a small smile and reached over and touched his cheek.
"Tired. And pretty relieved. But just think. We've done our duty. Downton is safe. Papa will dance a jig when he hears."
Matthew smiled at his son who was beginning to stretch in his swaddle.
"I'm dancing a jig. I feel like I've swallowed a box of fireworks."
Mary stroked Matthew's hair, as he looked at her in wonder.
"You are going to be such a wonderful mother"
Mary looked at him.
"How do you know?"
Matthew placed the baby back in her arms and rubbed her shoulders.
"Because you are a such a wonderful woman"
Mary laughed ruefully.
"I hope I'm allowed to be your Mary Crawley for all eternity, and not Edith's version, or anyone else's for that matter."
Matthew maintained direct eye contact with his wife before continuing.
"You'll be my Mary, always, because mine is the true Mary. Do you ever wonder how happy you've made me?" I want to tell you that I fall more in love with you every day that passes."
Matthew smiled.
"Oh Matthew, you are such a middle class romantic and I love it and I love you. You hold my whole heart; you make me a better version of myself. You are my better half. I could not have done this without you truly. And whatever mother I become will because you make me better"
Matthew kissed his wife's cheek.
"We make each other better."
They both stared down at their son who had fallen asleep in Mary's arms and then Matthew kissed his wife properly on the mouth. Mary smiled against his lips and then deepening the kiss before pulling away and looking down at their son again. He was such a wonder.
"Are you going to call Papa?"
"They will still be on the train. I don't think its right to call Carson before we speak to your parents, do you?"
"Maybe you should meet them at the train station and tell them and then they can come here as soon as their ready?"
"Darling, I'm not leaving you and I'm not leaving our son. I'll ask Tom to meet them. He has been with me all night holding my hand."
Mary smirked at him.
"You should have been in here holding my hand! No that would not have been proper, and you probably would not want to have another baby if you saw the whole process."
Matthew raised his eyebrows at her.
"You know we do have one more thing to do."
"And what is that?"
"Give our son a proper name."
"Oh, Matthew I thought we already decided that we were going to call him Reginald after your father."
"I don't know. He does not look like a Reginald and I carry my father's name."
"So, do you want to name him after my father?"
"No, I think that would be too confusing. I think we should name him after our common ancestor. The relation that guaranteed our meeting when I was searched out as the next heir."
Mary looked at him quizzically.
"our great great great grandfather George."
Mary looked at her husband in wonder.
"Darling, that is brilliant. George Matthew Crawley."
Matthew laughed.
"I never said we should name him after me."
"Oh, but darling if we don't name him after your father because you carry his name. It is only right that George should carry your name."
Matthew put his arm around his wife and whispered into her ear.
"I love you. George's name is wonderful. Is it ok if I ask Tom to come in and see him?"
"Yes"
Matthew went out to find Tom and brought him back along with his mother. Mary smiled at her brother in law and mother in law.
"Meet George Matthew Crawley"
Tom and Isobel were both happy to officially meet their nephew and grandchild.
Matthew turned to Tom.
"We have a favor to ask of you. Can you call Carson, let him know both Mary and the baby are well and that you will be meeting Lord Grantham and the family at the station?"
Tom looked at Matthew.
"I'm happy to do it. But don't you want to tell Robert the good news yourself.?"
"I'll tell him when he gets here. I don't want to leave Mary or George until I have to."
Tom smiled, happy for Matthew and Mary who had wanted a baby for so long.
"That is lovely. I'm off then. I'll go home and change before meeting the family at the station. Congratulations to both of you. I am so happy and I'm sure Sybil is as well looking down on all of us."
Matthew shook his hand and Tom and Isobel left leaving the new family alone. Matthew went back to Mary's side and took sleeping George.
"Go to sleep darling. You need your rest before your family arrives. I will take care of George. I will always be here with you, my love."
Matthew settled in the chair next to his wife while he stared at his sleeping son. He was a very lucky man. He would remember this day always and he was especially glad he had pulled "husband rank" on his wife and came home with her. How anxious and scared he would have been if he had not been with her when she brought their beautiful son into the world. Things had worked out it exactly the way they should.
And that my dear readers is how a single decision, a point in time, can change the course of lives.
A/N – This is a story of how Matthew's insistence to go with Mary and not stay behind in Scotland could have altered his fate. This will probably be featured in my story "The Making of an Heir" at some point in the future which is many chapters away in that story. My muse made me write this now and share it with you – I hope you enjoyed.
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