Episode 1: Japanese Jackass
It was a hot summer night in Tokyo and at Yongen-Jaya's Cafe Leblanc, a group of teens entered a cafe to be greeted by a man with black hair tied in a ponytail with glasses and a goatee, wearing a pink shirt, white khaki's and brown loafers as he looked at the youths.
"Hey Sojiro, me and the others are going to have Movie Night here." Said a boy with messy black hair, wearing black framed glasses, a white shirt over a black t shirt, blue jeans, and black boots.
"Oh hello Ren, sounds like a lot of fun, which theater are you kids all going too?" Sojiro asked as a boy with spiky blonde hair wearing a sleeveless yellow t shirt with a pair of foot prints on them with text that read "ON YOUR MARK" on it, a black wristband with spikes, a pair of cargo shorts, and blue sneakers walked towards the TV.
"Oh we rented a movie and was going to watch it here." The blonde boy said as Sojiro looked at him.
"What movie did you rent, Ryuji?" Sojiro asked as a girl with blonde pigtails wearing a black sleeveless top that had the letters UO on it, with a pair of sunglasses clipped on them, a pair of daisy dukes with a flannel shirt wrapped around them, and a pair of red converse shoes took out a dvd movie out of the bag as Sojiro studied the box carefully.
"Jackass The Movie. Are you serious?" Sojiro said as a girl with Orange Hair with black glasses, wearing a black shirt with a Tetris Logo on it, green pants, and black shoes.
"Yeah Pops, we thought we could all use some entertainment while Ren and the others are on Summer break." The girl said as Sojiro smiled.
"Futaba, please don't let these guys take you down the wrong path in life, I mean after all Ren has a criminal record after all." Sojiro said as Ren just scoffed at Sojiro as he went upstairs. "Aren't you guys going to follow him upstairs?"
"He's just getting The DVD Player from his room to hook up down here so we can all watch the Movie." said a boy with wavy blue hair wearing a long sleeved blue shirt, dark blue pants, and brown shoes.
"Hang on a second Yusuke, you kids are watching the movie here in the Cafe, don't I have a say in this?" Sojiro complained as a girl with brown hair wearing a long white blouse, black tight pants, and shoes.
"Sorry Boss, I offered to watch a chick flick and Ryuji suggested Jackass." said the girl as Ren came down stairs with the DVD player.
"Sorry Makoto but dudes don't watch chick flicks, hey why don't you make the Popcorn while Ryuji and Yusuke help me plug the DVD player to the TV?" Ren asked as Makoto sighed.
"Seriously since when did I become the Popcorn Girl, i'm the Student Council President." Makoto said as Ann walked up to her along with carrying a cat with her as for some reason the Teens could hear the cat talk.
"Sorry Makoto, but those guys would rather see this Jackass Movie than what you chose." The cat said as Makoto petted the cat.
"I guess you're right; hey Boss, do you have a Microwave here?"
"Yeah go ahead just make sure you have enough for everyone." Sojiro said as the guys got the DVD player hooked up to the tv.
"Hey Pops want to watch the movie with us?" futaba asked as Sojiro looked stunned.
"Now wait a minute, you want an old man like me to watch some absurd comedy movie with a bunch of rowdy teenagers, I might end up drinking if that happens." Sojiro said as Makoto put the Popcorn bag in the Microwave.
"Don't say that Boss, besides we don't want you to be alone tonight." Ren said putting the disc into the DVD Player.
"I've been a lonely man ever since Wakaba died but I guess I could watch this movie with you kids, just don't cause a lot of chaos, I have received complaints from the neighbors recently." Sojiro said as the group watch the movie.
"Oh my God, this is crazy setting off Fireworks in the House to wake up his parents." Ryuji said as Sojiro shook his head,
"I can't believe you kids find this crap entertaining, and don't get any ideas either." Sojiro said as the group of six teens all looked at eachother with Ren, Ryuji, An, Furaba, and Yusuke smiling while Futaba blew a sigh in her breath as they continued to watch the movie as the Movie ended the teens all stretched as Sojiro got his keys. "Well it's time for you all to head home the Subway will be closing for the night soon, Ren be sure to lock up after your friends all leave." Sojiro said as Ren nodded as his friends all left the cafe.
"Well that was a fun movie, what do you think Morgana?" Ren asked his cat as he made his way upstairs.
"I thought it was really stupid, I hope you and the others don't get any ideas." Morgana griped at Ren as the boy began to undress.
"Yeah well I bet Ryuji would probably do most of that stuff, knowing him. Oh and I think i'm going to sleep in my underwear tonight." Ren said as he was now wearing a pair of Black Boxers with red skull logos on them and black socks.
"What about your usual pajamas, and you don't normally sleep with your socks on Ren." Morgana said as Ren laid down on his bed.
"Yeah well I thought I would wear my socks with my underwear." Ren said as he was just about to fall asleep his phone rang and on the other end it was Ryuji.
"Sup bro, i'm sorry if I woke you up." Ryuji said as Ren smiled.
"It's all good bro, I just stripped down to my underwear and socks and was about to go to sleep, so what's up.
"You sleep in your undies too and with your socks on. I could high five you if we were in the same room right now, but anyways I called to let you know of an awesome idea wee could do." Ryuji said as Ren smiled.
"What is your idea Ryuji?" Ren asked as Futaba laid down by Ren's socked feet.
"We make our own video series doing stunts from Jackass and get famous, I just told Ann and Futaba and they are on board, not sure about Makoto and Yusuke but bro we could so get just as famous doing that like we are as The Phantom Thieves.
"Really well are you coming over tomorrow?" Ren asked as Ryuji excitedly replied.
"Hells Yeah bro, we all are, hey we'll think of stunts to do and film them and upload them, anyways we better get some sleep, good night bro." Ryuji said as Ren responded.
"Good night, Ryuji." Ren responded hanging up the phone as he finally went to sleep.
The next morning The Gang was at Cafe Leblanc before Sojiro was there to open up as Ryuji had a camera with Ren talking into it.
"Is this thing on?" Ren asked as Ryuji moved the camera to face him.
"I think so." Ryuji said moving the camera back to Ren's direction.
"Let's do this. Hi i'm Ren Amamiya, and this is the Human Volcano. We'll start this off by drinking a warm Diet Soda and swallowing a Mentos or what we like to call it Mementos. Guys cheer me on as I drink the Soda." Ren said as Ryuji, Ann, Yusuke, Futaba, and Makto all chanted as Ren drank the soda.
"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG." The Teens chanted as ren drank the entire Soda while catching his breath.
"Diet Sodas are nasty but I drink them for your entertainment, and now I shall swallow Mementos Candy." Ren said swallowing a whole Memetos Candy without choking. "Now I will lay on the floor." Ren said as he held his stomach as Ryuji held the Camera down as Ren laid on the floor.
"Do you feel anything yet?" Ryuji asked as Ren's face was turning a flushed shade of pale.
"Oh yeah it's working." Ren said as he looked like he was about to blow.
"If it comes out the back door, pull your pants down and roll over." Ryuji suggested as Ren slightly nodded.
"Good thinking." Ren said as the door to Leblanc opened as Sojiro entered to see the teens all in his Cafe so early in the morning.
"What are you all doing here so early?" Sojiro said as he noticed Ren laying on the floor. "Ren why are you laying on the f..." before Sojiro could finish speaking, Ren had threw up a geyser of Diet Cola in his face as Diet Cola was all over the floor, the bar, shelves, and in Sojiro's face.
"HOLY SHIT!" Ryuji said getting that on Camera as Ren stood up now looking regretful.
"I'm sorry Sojiro we...hold on." Ren said as he ran over to the sink to throw up the rest of the Soda out of his mouth.
"What in the hell are you guys doing?" Sojiro said as his clothes and glasses were covered in Diet Cola.
"Cool Stunts." Ren said as he started to clean his glasses off.
"Cool Stunts, what in the hell are you kids doing?" Sojiro said as he began to clean his own glasses.
"Well after watching that Jackass Movie, it gave us the idea of doing our own stunts and getting famous." Ryuji said as Sojiro shook his heads.
"I want you kids to clean up the soda I will be opening up in an hour, I got to go back and get a clean shirt, and no clowning around." Sojiro said as the teens all started cleaning up their mess.
"Boss really didn't like our prank but we so got it on tape and we're going to upload it after we clean up and then think of other awesome pranks." Ryuji said as the cola had been cleaned up, Sojiro got cleaned up and was able to open up business for the day at Cafe Leblanc.
Several hours later, the teens were now at a Big Bang Burger Restaurant having lunch and discussing prank plans.
"Holy Shit you guys, I can't believe how many views we got so far with the Human Volcano on Boss, so what shall we do next?" Ryuji asked as Yusuke took a sip of his soda.
"Well you guys have heard the rumors of Okumura Foods and their treatment of Employees right?" Yusuke asked knowing they still have jobs to do as Phantom Thieves as a customer was enraged at the employees.
"You fucking idiots can't do anything right, I told you no pickles, you know what screw your refunds, i'm calling 119 and getting The Police Involved." The Angry Customer Said as he called 119. "Yes can you send the Cops here to Big Bang Burger, they messed up my order. What do you mean it's not an emergency, it is too, they messed up my burger and I want justice." Minutes later the Police showed up to arrest the man for misuse of Emergency Services.
"Fast Food Orders are not a reason to call the 119 Emergency Line. now off to the Slammer you go." The Officer said as The Police hauled away the angry customer as a small boy with blue hair, wearing a white and green shirt, khaki pants, and white and green shoes entered the restauarant as the teens noticed the boy and waved at him.
"Hey Mishima, what's up man?" Ryuji said as Mishima sat down with the others.
"Hey guys, have you been receiving any new leads about our next target, people have been saying stuff about the CEO of Okumura Foods, you know the company that owns Big Bang Burger?" Mishima asked as Ryuji nodded.
"Yeah we have but we're focused on a new activity, check this out." Ryuji said showing the video of Ren throwing up Diet Cola in Sojiro's Face as Mishima Laughed.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, holy shit this is funny, but why did you guys do that?" Mishima asked as Ryuji took a bite of his hamburger.
"Well Mishima, we watched The Jackass Movie and thought about filming our own stunts and uploading them online." Ren said dipping his fries in ketchup.
"That sounds awesome, so do you guys have any new ideas for stunts?" Mishima asked as Ryuji bent down to untie his shoes.
"Oh I just had an idea, Yusuke turn on the Camera." Ryuji said as Yusuke turned on the Camera to film a stunt in the restaurant. "Hey peeps I'm Ryuji Sakamoto."
"I'm Ren Amamiya."
"I'm Yuuk iMishima."
"We're going to smell our Feet in Big Bang Burger." Ryuji said as he took off his shoes and put his dirty socked feet on the table to just about everyone's disgust.
"OH MY GOD RYUJI, YOUR FEET REEK." Ann said losing her Appetite.
"Damn Ryuji your Feet stink." Mishima said as Ryuji wiggled his socked toys in Mishima's face.
"Come on Mishima, smell my feet." Ryuji said as Mishima covered his nose.
"What the hell, no way, I can smell them where i'm sitting at, ask Ren to smell them." Mishima said as Ren began to take off his boots and put his socked feet on the table as Mishima looked like he's about to throw up as people al lover the restaurant started to complain.
"OH MY GOD!" said one customer as he fainted as Ren and Ryuji stared at eachother and then they actually smelled eachother's feet in the restaurant as everyone looked grossed out.
"What the hell you guys, that's disgusting, you do realize we're in a restaurant." Mishima said as both Ren and Ryuji stopped smelling eacohther's feet as they bent down and began pulling off Mishima's shoes. "Hey let go of my shoes, what the hell are you doing?" Mishima said as Ren and Ryuji both removed his shoes and propped his socked feet on the table as they smelled the boy's feet as Ren and Ryuji put their feet in Mishima's face as a restaurant employee approached their table with his nose covered.
"We're going to half to ask you guys to leave." The employees said as the teens all exited the restaurant with their shoes thankfully back on as Ann, Makoto, and Futaba were spraying themselves with perfume.
"For Real Ann that perfume is choking me." Ryuji complained as she sprayed at Ryuji's shoes.
"My Perfume at least smells a lot better than your nasty feet, anyways we uploaded our new video so what's next." Ann said as the teens then stumbled upon a three shopping carts laying in the road and the teens all had smiles on their faces.
"Well guys I just had an idea, but let's get some Fireworks and call it the Rocket Cart." Ren said as everyone took the cart and souped it up with fireworks as Futaba held the some Lighters and Makoto holding the Camera turning it on.
"I'm Yusuke Kitigawa."
"I'm Ren Amamiya.
I'm Ryuji Sakamoto
"I'm Yuuki Mishima
"I'm Ann Takameki"
"I'm Futaba Sakura and this is the Rocket Shopping Cart Race." Futaba said as she lit the fuse on the fireworks that were attached to the cart that she along with Ann were going to be riding in
"This is going to be exciting." Yusuke said lighting the fuse on the fireworks attached to the cart that he and Mishima would be riding in.
"Oh we are so gonna win this race, right Ren." Ryuji said as he lit the fuse of the fireworks attached to the cart he and Ren were riding in as all three carts took off down the street in Yongen Jaya as all three carts would end up crashing inside of the second hand shop down the road as the elderly owner looked shocked at the teens who came crashing into his store on firework powered shopping carts.
"What the hell, damn kids what in the hell were you thinking?" The owner of the Second Hand Shop said as Sojiro exited his Cafe and saw Ren and his friends all standing up after crashing into the Second Hand Shop along with the others on Fireworks Powered Shopping Carts as Sojiro Shook his head.
Sometime later Sojiro who looked rather upset sat the teens down inside the cafe to lecture them about their stunts they have been performing.
"Do you realize how lucky you kids are? If that Second Hand Store wasn't open right now then you guys would all ended up being taken to the Emergency Room right now and no I don't mean Takemi's Clinic down the road." Sojiro said trying to keep his composure.
"We took precautions." Futaba said as Sojiro was twitching.
"You guys flew down the road in shopping carts with fireworks attached to the carts; what precautions?" Sojiro asked looking at the teens.
"We were racing eachother and we wore our helmets at least." Ryuji said as Sojiro shook his head.
"Ok as of right now no more of this Jackass Garbage." Sojiro said sternly as the teens all looked very disheartened.
"Boss we were just looking to have some fun and get famous." Ren said as Sojiro looked at his foster son.
"You do realize you are still on prohibition and if you were to get in trouble by the law you would be sent to a Detention Center remember."
"Boss don't be so hard on him, how are we supposed to have fun if he feels pressured all the time, sometimes you got to learn to let loose." Futaba said as Sojoro breathed a sigh.
"Futaba, you do realized that you guys caused hundreds of dollars of damages to that Second Hand Shop when you three came crashing into his store in those Shopping Carts and you could have gotten him fined by the Fire Marshal with your use of Fireworks." Sojiro said lecturing the teens.
"Boss we just wanted to let loose and have fun is all, besides it's not like we're the Phantom Thieves or anything." Ryuji said as Ann punched Ryuji in the knee.
"Look kids i'm not trying to sound angry but you kids should be going out to get real jobs, not becoming crash test dummies." Sojiro said as the door to the Cafe opened and in walks Ace Detective Goro Akechi wearing a white short sleeved shirt, with a black tie, black slacks, and brown shoes.
"Hey you guys, what's going on?" Akechi asked as the teens all glared at Akechi knowing how he's been saying a lot of nasty things about The Phantom Thieves on The News as of late.
"What are you doing here? Trying to accuse us of being The Phantom Thieves?" Ryuji said as Akechi sat at the bar as Sojiro poured the boy some coffee.
"I was in the neighborhood and thought I would have some coffee before going out to solve another crime." Akechi said in a very sarcastic tune.
"Well how would you like to be a Celebrity Guest on our new Web Show?" Ann asked as Akechi looked rather stunned.
"What? Really?" Akechi said as Yusuke turned on the Camera.
"I'm Ren Amamiya."
I'm Ryuji Sakamoto and joining us is everyone's so called favorite Detective no not Conan; It's Goro Akechi."
"Hello there internet." Akechi said as Ryuji began to pull his shorts down as Sojiro looked shocked.
"Son put your pants back up." Before Sojiro could say anything else, Ren shoved Akechi's face into Ryuji's butt as Ryuji then farted in Akechi's Face.
"Awww hell yeah, Ace Detective Assholekechi just got a face full of my asshole." Ryuji said as Akechi's face now smelled like Ryuji's ass as he exited the Cafe in pure disgust as Ryuji pulled both his boxers and shorts back up.
"I'm going home for the night just don't get yourselves arrested doing stupid shit." Sojiro said as he he exited his cafe after a long day of dealing with the antics of his Foster son, daughter, and their friends.
"Wow Boss really sounds upset at our pranks." Ren said as Ryuji put a hand on Ren's shoulder.
"Boss is old, you know we should prank him good." Ryuji said as Futaba smiled.
"Good idea Ryuji, you know what I say let's wait for Sojiro to fall asleep and get him with the leftover fireworks." Futaba said showing the others the fireworks they still had left.
"I'll get a bucket and we'll set them off in his room, it will be so hilarious." Ann said plotting their next prank.
Hours later at night in the Sakura Home; Sojiro was trying to get some sleep and outside his bedroom door were Ren, Ryuji,Ann, Yusuke, Futaba, and Makoto all carrying fireworks, a lighter , and a bucket with Yusuke holding the Camera.
"I'm Ren Amamiya; we are inside my Foster Father's home right now and he's trying to get some sleep and we're all going to go wake his ass up." Ren said as the teens quietly entered Sojiro's bedroom to see Sojiro sleeping in his bed. With Night vision being used Ryuji sets the bucket as Futaba lights the fuse as the fireworks begin lighting up Sojiro's bedroom instantly waking him up.
"Goddamnit what are you kids doing?" Sojiro said as The Teens were all laughing their asses. "I should kick every one of your asses, get that camera away from me." Sojiro said sounding upset as the teens were laughing and the smoke alarm went off.
"Boss we had to make one last prank." Ann said as Sojiro was shaking his head.
"You kids are driving me to drink, no more pranks. Seriously could you open the windows and let out all of the smoke." Sojiro said coughing as smoke was filling up the house.
"We hope you had fun watching this episode of Jokers, what will we do next, well you'll never see it coming, This is Ren Amamiya and my friends here to say good night fellow Jokers we hope to steal your hearts again." Ren said signing off, what will these kids do next? God only knows.