Authors Note: This is my first fanfiction! I really hope that you enjoy! Please be sure to leave a review and let me know what you think! This story begins right after Mulan's meeting with the matchmaker. Just a warning:This story will contain violence and LGBTQ+ themes. If you are uncomfortable with these things, this story might not be for you. I don't own any of the characters from Mulan. If you don't recognize a character, that is because they are my own creation! Alright, enough information! Go read already! Enjoy!
Chapter One: Failure
As I walk through the gates leading to my family's home, I see my father standing on the porch, looking at me with a proud, hopeful smile. I can't even bear to look him in the eye. Soon my father will learn of how I dishonored our family. How I dishonored him.
When I put Khan in the barn, I catch sight of my reflection in his water trough. At least it's supposed to be my reflection. To be perfectly honest I don't even recognize myself. I'm covered in makeup, which I guess is supposed to make me look pretty though I think it just makes me look stupid. I turn away, frustrated. 'Why do I even care what that stupid matchmaker thinks of me?' I ask myself, even though I already know the answer. 'Because Father and Mother care that's why.'
I take off my jewelry and head for my family temple. Right now I just want to be alone. Maybe I will ask the ancestors for guidance, the way Father tells me to when I feel like this. Honestly, I don't think the ancestors care about me, not after that terrible accident three years ago… 'No!' I tell myself. 'Don't think of that day! Don't you dare!' So I push that memory to the back of my mind and continue my walk to the temple.
I jump on the rail of the little bridge that goes over the small pond in our yard. Again, I see that makeup covered face staring at me from the water. Every time I look at that face it fills me with anger. Anger at myself for not being normal. Anger at my family for forcing me into this. But mostly anger at our society for creating these norms.
Why can't I just be myself? Is it so wrong for me to want to be independent? Is it so wrong for me to have a brain? All of these questions swarm my mind as I walk. Finally, I made it into the temple. I crouch down into a low bow, and when I look up, I see my reflection again! I've finally had enough. Using my sleeve, I wipe off half of my makeup. Then, I wipe the other half away. Taking my hair down, I look at my reflection again. 'That's better' I think. 'If only I didn't have to wear these stupid dresses and could cut my hair.'
I have always been different from the other girls my age. Even when I was little, I would rather practice swordplay and martial arts than play with dolls. Instead of having tea with the girls my age, I would always race and wrestle with my friend Mushu. A pang of loneliness hits me. 'I miss him so much' I think. 'It's too bad he had to move away after that accident…' Here I go! Thinking about that day again!
I rise and leave the temple. Sitting on the stone bench under the magnolia tree, I watch my father approach. He gives me a small smile, but I turn away. I hear him take a seat next to me. After a moment, he clears his throat and speaks. "My my, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look," he points to a bud that has not yet bloomed, "this one is late. I'm sure that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all." He then takes my jade hair comb with the pink flower and places it in my hair. I smile for his sake, but I know that I'm not just a late bloomer.
And that is when we hear the drums. Both my father and I know what that means. An official proclamation. Trouble.