Now , everything is clear in my head , I just admitted , in front of my therapist by the way , that I am in love with someone , but not anyone. Indeed I just admitted that I am in love with my boss aka Melendez , Neil Melendez aka my friend , the best one … Me, Claire Browne , the perfect surgical resident , how did I get in that situation ? But it's there and my feelings are more than real . More than that I know that they've been there for a long time already but before today I always denied it although everyone around always saw it and told me about it like when Shaun make me notice that I was clearly flirting with Melendez .
The problem is that I don't know how to act with these overwhelming feelings at all . Should I talk to Melendez ? I mean it's my boss , a great surgeon and even if we are sort of friends who are here for each other and running together , I'm not even sure that this is going in both ways . But, above all the biggest brake to this discussion is that it wouldn't be ethical on either way especially after Morgan's favoritism complaint … My therapist advice is not really helping , she continue to say that I should talk to him , that it would be relieving and that it would allow us , together or separately , to move forward . She precisely said that I should follow my heart and see where it's gonna lead , she said that I was the only one to be able to decide on what to do but this is not helping . Even after my appointment I still don't know what to do about this pretty complex situation . I guess that a good night sleep is for right now the best solution I could find.
After heading back home walking in the dark night thanks to Morgan dangerous way of driving which made of my car a real wreck , I ordered some sushis aka the solution to all my problems , I took a relaxing bath and then put myself to sleep . Hours are going by and I still don't find my sleep even if I am exhausted … Suddenly I watch myself putting a running outfit on as well as Neil's sweater that he has forgotten last time and my running shoes . OMG this sweater is smelling so good , how could he always smell so good ? That's a real question …
It's almost midnight, so cold outside and I'm running in San José's streets without any goal just to clear my mind of all the thoughts which all are about who you know. Running I hear a notification on my phone so I stop myself to sit on a bench and see what the notification is about . It's an IG notification which says that Neil shared a crazy selfie of the two of us in the O.R just after one of the coolest surgeries ever (he identified me ) with the caption : « partners ) » . The first things that come in my mind are that this photo is one of the best we have together and that I love that he posted it on his instagram but then I realized that everyone his many followers could see it . Suddenly , I am a little panicked because I am scared of Morgan seeing it and making another favoritism complaint which could definitely break what we have because the one almost broke our relationship and friendship but happily it ends with no consequences after some doubts about the legitimacy of our friendship . I put a like on the post and wrote a comment « « * best partners ;)) » hoping we wouldn't get in much trouble and deciding that finally it wouldn't be a so big deal , it's just a picture of friends and a cool comment after all . Reputing my phone in my pocket and drinking a big sip of water , I start running again but looking around me I realize that I unconsciously took the track we usually do with Neil . I have to say by the way , that running together is for us like a therapy in which we talk of each other problems and help and advice each other on what to do . So looking around me I realize that I am just in front of the little café in which we always take a breakfast after our morning runs . The music is spreading in my ears and I continue to run until I found myself shocking in something pretty hard . Firstly I think that this is a pole but then the thing that I thought was a pole started moving. Taking my breath back I step back to see in who I just bumped . In the same time a hear a pretty familiar sound, precisely a familiar laugh that I identify as being Neil's
« Oh… hi , hmm.. sorry for bumping into you I guess » I say
« not a big deal , did you hurt yourself ? Are you ok ? » He says
« Oh, hmm yeah , no worries » I answer
« But what are you doing here so late in this cold night ? » he says
« And so what do you do here so late in this cold night ? » I say back
I needed to clear my head » we say in the same time
I need to run away from this awkward situation as fast as possible
« Hmm … I need to good , I gonna head back home and try to sleep » I said
« Don't run away so fast , you couldn't find your sleep right ? Tbh me neither » he suddenly says
« You're right , what was your reason ? » I ask
« A lot of different things » he answers
« Same » I respond
« We should have called each other , like that we could've ran together ! » he says on a joyful way
« Yeah that would have been funnier » I answer
Right in the same time I silently say to myself that if he knows the particular reason which makes me unable to sleep, things would probably be different and deeply awkward
« Are your nightmares back ? » he asks
« You guess well » I answer in a whisper
« Don't worry , time heals and you're gonna be fine , you're so strong don't doubt of it » he says being as much reassuring as he could seeing my emotion as I talk about my nightmares .
After giving me a short kind of hug he makes me a really kind proposition
« You know you could come and sleep at my place , I don't want it to be awkward but it should be helpful to sleep in a neutral zone , I mean , a place where you don't have so much bad memories and I have a friend room , which is available » he propose
« Trust me I would love to become your sort of roommate , plus I really need some sleep I am so tired of all these nightmares but wouldn't it be weird or anything . I mean people could think about non real things towards us , you know favoritism and everything » I answer in a low voice
« You know , I thought a lot about our situation and what other people think of this and I came to the conclusion that we don't care about others because they don't know the truth and how much our friendship is so cool cool and helpful and moreover , in our friendship we see each other as equals there is no superiority. This is just me proposing help to my best friend and I know you would do the same . Plus you really need good nights sleep because far from me to be mean but we can see and read how much you're tired on your face and this isn't great even if you're still so shining . Then we aren't forced to scream to everyone that you've became my roommate . Lastly I live in that great big house alone and it's way to big for just one person , you would hav so much place for all your stuff and the company of a friend to talk to . » he replied
« Hmm that's a good argumentation , I guess I am going to accept I mean , being your roommate shouldn't be so complicated . But I am just accepting for the place » she says
« Haha very funny , I am the greatest friend ever , you should recognize it » he says
« And so do I » she answered
« Of course ! Well come on , you have run enough for tonight you need a shower and a good night sleep , we will get your things packed and moved in tomorrow » he tells
So I followed him to his , I mean our house now , surprisingly happy to move in . Before I finally fell asleep for a great good night sleep I hope , he showed me the entire house but it wasn't a surprise because I already came multiple times , then I took a great shower in what was now my bathroom and put myself in what was now my great bed but not before drinking some relaxing tea and saying goodnight and big thanks to Neil for what he is doing for me ….
I hope that I am going to have a great good night sleep , finally …
So this is it for the first part , i hope you liked it and our characters becoming roommates Don't forget to give me your thoughts I hope there isn't too much grammatical mistakes !