Hey so it has been a while since I wrote a Kick-Ass story so when I got an idea for a new Harley Quinn/Mindy McCready tale, how could I pass it up? This will be AU, events are basically the same after the first movie but I'm going to alter some things.

Things will get crazy, messed up, etc. And for those of you that like it some Harley/Mindy action. Please review! Thanks!

"I can't believe you're making me do this," Mindy grumbled. The teenage girl didn't understand why she was being forced to go to regular school, on top of that she was forced to do mandatory therapy almost every day by a specialist known for dealing mostly with criminals and nut jobs. Already 17, Mindy was homeschooled for most of her life by her vigilante father, Damon MacCready. Damon was an ex cop with a vendetta against crime boss, Frank D'amico. He had trained his daughter as a child how to defend herself and used her in his war against D'amico and his organization. He used his skills and military background and incorporated the look of a superhero for his daughter's sake; he went by the alias Big Daddy, all black and she went by Hit Girl wearing an all purple outfit.

They managed to kill D'Amico and many of his goons but Damon was killed in the ensuing shootout when the upscale residence Frank D'Amico owned went up in flames. Mindy was found by her father's former partner, Marcus and taken in to live a normal life.

It had been almost five years since this happened but both were still adjusting. Mindy didn't want to go to a normal school with lame teenage girls her age. She also didn't want to talk to some quack about her 'issues'.

She sat in the front seat of Marcus' car with her face pressed up against the window. "I know it's hard. But you have to do this for you. It's what your mom and dad would've wanted. Regular life. No running around dressed up in a cape beating people up," Marcus said firmly.

Mindy sighed as she watched all of the boring suburban houses they passed. "Fine. I'll try for you. But once I turn 18 I'm a ghost."

Nothing seemed to go well her first day especially when she acted more mature and older than the other kids. She was mocked for seeming above everyone when she was simply trying to be herself. Even the teachers didn't seem to understand her or at least weren't prepared by the questions she asked them; this overachiever raising her hand every ten seconds. She was either asking questions or trying to point out what the teacher got wrong. She was quickly banned from talking to them for the rest of the day.

One girl who sat behind Mindy in one of her classes criticized her choice of wardrobe as if she was a fashionista or something. Mindy grabbed her by her short jet black hair ready to knock her teeth in. This was quickly broken up before any harm was done but Mindy was written up.

She sat outside the therapist's office; a room at the end of the school right next to the janitor's closet. Mindy was made to sit there until her therapist appointed by child services returned after a meeting with the principal.

"Way to go, dumbass," she told herself, "Why aren't I in detention?...If you broke that cunt's jaw you could've been expelled right now but you blew it."

She heard the loud echoing of heeled shoes walking up the hall. A woman in a white coat, glasses and blonde hair tied back was there for her.

"Mindy MacCready? I'm Dr. Harleen Quinzel," she stuck out her hand with a friendly smile for Mindy to shake; she kept her lips stretched back, showing off her gums and bleached white teeth. Mindy shook her hand but very weakly. "Please. Come on in."

Mindy lazily lifted herself up and passed through the door Quinzel held for her.

"You can have a seat right over there. Sorry still trying to spruce up the place."

The office was just a spare storage room, there were still old projectors and office supplies shoved into a corner. The chairs were old and missing wheels. The doctor's name plate on her desk was just a piece of wood with her name sharpied in on a piece of masking tape.

As they both got comfortable, Mindy decided she wasn't talking. She leaned back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling while the good doctor sat there still smiling; psycho-analyzing her.

"So. First day of public school. One girl in the hospital."

"What?" asked a shocked Mindy, jerking her head.

Quinzel laughed, "Nah she's fine I just wanted to see your reaction."

Mindy snickered at her weird sense of humor, "Ok."

Quinzel adjusted her glasses, as if examining the younger blonde curiously.

"What?" Mindy frowned.

"Just making sure I saw that right. A smile."

Mindy went back to her frown, "Is this your way of getting into people's heads?"

"I really want to get to know you. We don't have to talk much today if you don't want to..."

"Why aren't I in detention?"

"Would you rather be there? I could arrange it." Mindy stayed quiet, choosing to look down at the floor. "Ok. Just so you know that girl you ticked off was Dolce Monroe...Brooke Chambers' friend."

Mindy gave her a blank stare eventually shrugging her shoulders.

Quinzel leaned in close and gestured, covering her mouth as if someone else was there, "She's a bitch!"

Mindy fought hard to keep back a laugh; this woman was trying to get to her, pretend to be her friend but she was just someone the state paid to keep tabs on her and nothing more. Sure she could try and trick her but that was so not happening.

A couple months went by and things were better, still terrible but slightly better. Mindy had to put up with the popular girls and jocks but each day she could at least vent to someone. It wasn't easy at first.

"I hate her questions."

"She wants to help," Marcus would tell her everyday she came home in a huff, tossing her backpack at the wall.

"She keeps showing me Rorschach tests and gets me to act stuff out with puppets! It's a joke!"

"Mindy! Settle down!" He grabbed her and made her sit down on the couch, "I know it's hard. But you have to do this. You're a great kid. This isn't forever."

"I should be out there actually doing something not sitting in some quack's office, Marcus!"

He was was struggling but he was patient, he knew he could get her to stop bouncing off the walls for maybe 5 minutes, "Hey, right now just concentrate on bettering yourself. Just do what Dr. Quinzel tells you to do. They say some of her practice is unorthodox but she's great"

Quinzel did make things easier. At least she wasn't like the others, she admitted some things to Mindy she never thought she would like how she was put up for adoption and lived at an orphanage with a bunch of nuns always watching her.

"It gets better trust me."

Learning that she also worked at the Grayson Institute, a well known nuthouse in New York made Mindy question her practice. "So am I as crazy as anyone you see there?"

Quinzel shook her head and laughed, "Oh no, there's a guy that eats his own skin and one guy that smears peanut butter all over his body singing 'I'm a little teapot'. Both had super rough childhoods. There's a big guy that wears diapers all the time and has a pacifier."

Mindy laughed at the disturbing thought of people like that existing, "Yeah...wow..."

Quinzel helped Mindy find something to join at school, a club or something to keep her occupied. Mindy almost gagged when she noticed a newsletter about cheerleader tryouts.

"Why not?"

"Isn't Brooke a cheerleader?"

Quinzel rolled her eyes, "Yes but so what? Doesn't mean she's better than you. You could be captain. I bet you'd love to rub her nose in it." This made Mindy get ideas but she wasn't sure it was worth it, "Look, rugby and wrestling are filled."

"Ok...I'll give it a try."

"Atta girl."

On the day of tryouts Mindy was nervous but once some music started she got in the zone she was doing back flips and cartwheels with little effort. When she was done everyone was blown away even an unhinged Brooke.

Mindy was swarmed by the other girls, even the ones that didn't make the cut were congratulating her. In the chaos she spotted Dr Quinzel watching from the bleachers. They didn't have a session that day.

Marcus of course was proud of Mindy but was a little surprised it was cheerleading of all things which he reminded her was not a contact sport; mainly because he didn't want to get a call about her putting a bunch of girls in the ER.

"I can't believe it."

"See what you can do when you put your mind to it?" Quinzel said, scribbling in her notebook.

"You should've seen Brooke's face."

"I did," Quinzel said with a smile.

Mindy's smile faded slightly, she almost forgot about her being there watching her by the entrance, in fact the good doctor showed up at a lot of places and not just when she was at school. One day at the grocery store picking up things for Marcus and then bumping into her in one of the local parks close to the house. Weird coincidences.

"You were amazing. You're fearless."

Mindy burst out laughing, "No way."

"I'd say. Anyone that wants to fight crime has to be."

She knew it. She was just using this as an excuse to talk about her past.

"I'm not...not anymore."

"Tell me about Hit Girl."

Mindy swallowed and leaned forward, "There is no Hit Girl."

Quinzel wrote this down in her notepad; Mindy really wanted to see what she had on her. Was she full Looney Toons?

"No Hit Girl?"

Mindy shook her head firmly, "No."

"Well...I guess you can go home early unless there's anything else you want to talk about," Mindy shrugged, "Wanna know my biggest fear?...", she looked around the room and whispered, "Ladybugs."

Mindy thought that was the strangest thing she ever heard, there were so many other things in the world to be afraid of and well bigger and more threatening.

"What about you? Besides a bunch of stuck up princesses."

"I'm not afraid of Brooke," Mindy defended, "I'm a...I'm afraid of clowns."

"Really?" Quinzel did find this rather interesting to see that this girl tough as nails was afraid of something so harmless.

Mindy felt like hiding her face for revealing something so dumb.

"Coulrophobia is quite common. You ever see the movie It and I'm not talking about the Stranger Things one but the one with Tim Curry?"

"No..."

"Birthday parties as a kid?...could be some repressed memory..."

Mindy was stumped, only thing she could think of was how much she hated their hair and makeup, it wasn't funny at all. Lucky she was old enough where she didn't have to worry about birthday party clowns. Her 18th birthday was coming up in just a few days and she did not want to see any painted freaks.

"Hmm...," Dr Quinzel said, tapping her pen, "You know what, Mindy? I think I can help you get over it."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes I think I can. It might be a little outside the box..."

"But I've been told that's what makes you the best," Mindy said, knowing to some degree how extreme she went.

"Ok. Have a good weekend. Next week you won't be so afraid."

Harley had been watching Mindy and not always on the clock. She was fascinated by her and her past. She took down a whole crime empire when she was just a kid. A shame now to let those talents go to waste.

On a bulletin board in her apartment she collected newspaper clippings and everything there was to know about the vigilante known as Hit Girl. Maybe she was getting a little obsessed but Harley would do anything to see her in action. Seeing her at cheerleader tryouts really sparked more interest and she was determined to see the purple wearing young woman.

"I shouldn't get so involved with a patient but I see a lot of potential in her," she thought to herself, "I really should stop taking my work home with me though..."

when Mindy walked into her office after school the following Monday she really had zero clue what she was in for. First the lights were off. The door was unlocked though. Mindy switched the lights on and found the place neat and organized but the good doctor's chair had its back to the door. She found see the top of Quinzel's blonde head.

"Doc?"

She walked up to the chair slowly and with one fist clenched, ready for any funny business.

"Doc?"

She was about to grab the back of the chair to see what was going on but the chair spun around before she could revealing a woman in white caked makeup. Mindy's face almost turned as white followed by an inward gasp that would've been a scream.

"Surprise!" The woman exclaimed. Red paint to make her lips bigger and blue around the eyes to make a middle aged prostitute blush.

"Dr. Quinzel?"

"Bingo!" She shouted, raising her arms up in the air.

"What? What?"

The clown doctor got up to try and calm her down but Mindy wouldn't let her get anywhere near her. She even had a red jester costume on.

"I thought the hat would be too much", she said, showing her the hat with jangly bells, "What do you think?"

Mindy wasn't even blinking she was so in shock. Dr. Quinzel helped her sit down.

"Now, Mindy it's just me. Dr Harley Quinzel. I'm not gonna hurt ya. K?"

"..."

She held up a picture of herself next to her done up face, "See. Just me." Mindy was still on the edge of her seat but she managed to calm down some, "Mindy. Mindy look at me. Deep breaths OK. Work the diaphragm."

Mindy did as she was told. Breathe in. Breathe out. She calmed a tad but she still felt weird having her look like that.

"I feel...better," Mindy stated, straightening her posture.

"Glad to hear it," Harley said with a wider than wide smile. A phone call interrupted her clowning, something that wasn't a laughing matter. "Jeez, sorry, Mindy but looks like they need me at the institution."

"What a lunatic escape?" she chuckled.

"No but I better get over there."

"Uh...," she was going to bring up the fact that she was still in clown makeup but the doctor was too preoccupied getting her things together to notice just how ridiculous she looked.

"Hey, you did really great today I mean that. You're gonna be OK."

That was the first time Mindy actually believed her, it was with that she hugged her before she could open the door.

This was not good patient/doctor protocol but Quinzel couldn't say no to a good hug, "Oh, come here you!" She squeezed until she was red.

"You having a birthday party?"

"No one would come," Mindy said sorrowfully.

Quinzel pinched her cheek, "Hey, I'll come."

"In full makeup?"

"If you want. I don't think I can make balloon animals though."

Mindy left feeling a little better about maybe getting through this Hell called high school but still uneasy about clowns.

"Hey, this mean you're still leaving once you turn 18?"

Mindy shrugged, "I think maybe I'll stick around."

"Good," Quinzel smirked.

Quinzel was called into the offices of the Grayson Institution by one of the newest doctors, a woman that kind of reminded Quinzel of a younger her. She was having some trouble locating some important files. When she met one of the guards at the front entrance he commented on having good taste in makeup.

"Oh my!" she laughed, "Completely forgot about that!"

She rushed inside and went to the young doctor's office, one that was much bigger than the one she had at the school.

"Sorry, Janet got held up, did you find the..."

In Jane Melwood's office she was surrounded by 3 patients, all criminals known for violent tendencies.

"Harley!"

"Jane?"

"Hey! It's clown time!"

"What? What's going on here?" Quinzel tried backing away slowly but the largest of the three barked at her to shut the door which she did immediately. She recognized these guys after a moment to collect herself.

"Right. Peanut-butter Boy, Skin-Eater and...what were you again the Adult-Baby?"

The big one grunted at her and clenched his fist. A baby's pacifier swung on a self-made necklace.

"Sorry, they made me call you!"

"What?"

"They said they'd lobotomize me!"

The three had the sharpest instruments they could find in this place on a tray, all of which they wouldn't know how to use but could still cause quite a bit of damage with.

"OK now fellas, you don't want to hurt anybody," Quinzel said in the calmest voice she could; but her shaky hands were a dead giveaway on how confident she was.

"Oh yes we do!" they laughed.

"How about you let her go and we'll talk about it?"

"I think we'd rather have both of you," the sickly thin one said showing off his rotten teeth.

"Uhhh...Harley...," Dr Melwood fretted.

"I got this...," she tried getting closer. A machine she noticed on the desk gave off quite a lot of noise, it was meant for calming patients down but if the knobs were dialed up high enough they could make them fall to their knees. She jumped at it before anyone could notice. The three distracted by how painful it was let the young doctor go. Quinzel opened the door and pushed Melwood out first. Quinzel wasn't so lucky as the three grabbed her and held her down on the desk. She saw they had carted the machine for electro-shock therapy. Now she was panicking. These creeps were strong and didn't care when she bit one of them on the arm. They turned that thing on and let it juice up. They taunted her with those

"I'm not a car battery!"

Quinzel's entire body convulsed once those big electrodes were brought to her head. Everything got brighter. She saw her life flash before her eyes. almost 3 decades up to that moment. She foamed at the mouth, lost all senses and then...

She woke up on the desk. The patients were long gone. Quinzel's brain was on fire, she saw everything like it had a pulse from the floor to the ceiling. She just knew she had to get out of there in case they came back. No one came to find her so either Melwood ran home without telling someone or something terrible happened to her. She didn't consider this, she couldn't grasp what was happening, she only had instincts to leave. Her apartment was too far but not the high school.

She pick-locked her way up to her office/storage room; out of the things from her orphanage days. Out of practice but getting back to her old ways was like getting on a bike again. She couldn't find the light switch so she tripped and bumped every which way before falling over her desk. She cursed her bruised legs and twisted back. She felt around for a mirror, she kept one there somewhere. After touching every sharp and sticky thing in her drawer she found it. Hardly any light but she could make out her face in the reflection. Her runny mascara, smudged lipstick and even her paler complexation and mess of hair. Anyone would be shocked at her ghoulish appearance; she laughed. Not just a laugh but she sounded sick, mad even. She tossed the mirror, breaking it into pieces. She found Mindy's case file and the picture of that adorable troublemaker. Her eyes lit up like disco balls. She pumped her fist into the air and shouted, "HARROOGA! HARROOGA! HUBBA-HUBBA!"

To be continued! Stay tuned!