***Author's note: 1. I have spelled the name Umayaal in two ways: Umayaal and UmayaaL. Using capital L is a common way to romanize a special character found in the Tamil language and UmayaaL represents the correct way to pronounce this name.

2. I do not own The Family Man franchise, if I did I would not be humble about it.***

Kai dinon se Srikant Tiwari ke kaan khade the. TASC office ki imaarat mein lift ke 4th floor ke button ke alaawa aur kuch bhi 'out of order' sa tha. Hamesha ki tarah gadbadi ka ehsaas Srikant ko sabse pehle hua. Uske sahkarmiyon ko ek-do hafton baad hi bhanak lagi, jab Samantha Raj naam ki ek recruit ne TASC join kiya. Wo bhi ek aam sa din tha. Uss din bhi Srikant aur uske dost JK Talpade ne thele ke vada pavon ka apne "BHOS DK" Sharma ki zyartiyon ki charcha ki chutney ke saath khoob mazaa liya tha aur hamesha ki tarah uss chakkar mein office der se bhi pahunche the. Hamesha ki tarah unhein phatkarne ke baad uss din bhi Sharma ne recruit ko unke matthe madh diya tha. Par jab recruit se unki baat hui, tab Srikant ka shak yakeen mein badal gaya aur office mein baithe har insaan ke hosh ud gaye. Silsila tha hi kuch aisa. Unki Samantha se baat ho chuki thi. Srikant ne intezaar kiya par JK ke munh se woh shabd nahi nikle. Samantha unhein "Thank you so much Tiwari Sir, Talpade Sir" bolkar chal gayi. Aur unke aas pass ki sabhi nazarein apne cubicles par se achanak uthkar un par tik gayi.

"Bas Talpade ab mujhe bolna hi padega", Srikant ne kaha.

"Kya hua? Tiwari bol na.", JK ne apne cubicle ki taraf badhte hue kaha.

"Saale aise pooch raha hai jaise tujhe pata nahi"

Srikant ki chaal mein tezi aayi jaise wo JK ka jawaab sune bina nahin maanega. Chhote se office ko bhi unki pakdam-pakdai ne maano cubicles ki bhool bhulaiya bana diya.

"Kya hua bhai Tiwari?"

JK ki sawaalon se bachne ki koshish zor-shor se chalu thi.

"Yahi hai seat teri, meri wali ke saamne, kitna bhagega Talpade?", Srikant ne JK ki seat ki taraf gusse se ungli uthaate hue bola.

"Chennai ke baad ye doosri baar hai jab tune kisi ladki ke saath 'Just JK' wali nautanki nahi ki"

"Arre woh! Chhod na! Kaisa tharki samajh rakha hai saale tune mujhe", JK ne hanste hue taalne ki koshish kari.

"Ohoooo mujhe pata hai, mujhe laga hi tha, maaloom tha mujhe. Sultan Jayavant dil de baithein hain Umayaal Jaan ko!", Srikant ke chehre par ek muskaan chha gayi.

"Abbe... UmayaaL!", isse pehle ki wo kuch soch paata JK bol utha.

"Tu hi rakh tera Marathi uchaaran. Humein koi shauk hai Tamil Nad ka anna ya Marathi maanus banne ka? Hum UP ke bhaiya hi theek hain. Waise tune baat kari hai usse apne ishq ke baare mein? Baat kari bhi hai?"

JK phusphusaaya jaise wo Srikant ko bhi dheere bolne ka ishaara de raha ho, "Abbe bhosdike tujhe pata bhi hai kitni paagal..."

"Paagalaaaaa?". Ab Srikant ki muskaan ek goonjti hui hansi ban gayi

"Kitni paagal aur khatarnak aurat hai wo? Humaari pehli meeting mein usne mujhe arrest kiya tha! Wo din yaad hai jab Raji ne meri solid vaat lagayi thi? Kaise nahi yaad hoga…"

Milind ki yaad mein un donon ki aankhein bhar aayin. Agent wali zindagi mein bahut romanch aur bahut gehri dostiyaan unko mili thi aur isliye ek achhe dost ko khone ka dard aur bhi gehra tha.

Dheere se ankhein malte hue JK ne kissa sunaana jaari rakha.

"Haan to jab main pada hua tha pattharon pe mujhe goli dikha ke poochh rahi thi, "Are you ok? Do you need help? Do you need help?""

"Sahi to kiya usne, bina goli dikhaaye tu kuch kaam ki baat karta hai? Pade pade wahaan pe status update maang raha hoga maaloom hai mujhe", Srikant ne kaha. Uske chehre par sehmati saaf jhalak rahi thi.

"Yaar Tiwari, maine agar kuch bola to phir se to goli nahi dikha degi? Wo to chhod tu wo to phir bhi reaction hai, agar mere munh pe hans diya usne to?". JK ke man mein baithi hichkichahat ab baahar aane lagi.

Srikant apne dost ko aise kaise haar maanne deta?

"Yaad hai Veeraranyam ka idli sambar?", wo bola

"Saambaar hota hai wo saale!"

"Haan haan wohi. Mujhe to kabhi kisi ne itne pyaar se podi nahi try karaayi."

"Suchi?...", ab JK muskara raha tha. Srikant ne use apna haath utha ke hanste hue thappad maarne ka ishaara kiya.

"Yaar Talpade please abhi mujhe tera ghar basta hua dikh raha hai, iss mauke ko mat gawaana. Mujhe bhi medal wali bhabhi chahiye. Waise bhi tu karib ek mahine se uske pyaar ki 3000 rupay ki khatara nishaani le kar ghoom raha hai, kab tak chhupa payega ishq apna zamaane se?"

Khushmizaaz JK ke chanchal man mein halchal hui.

"Yaar Tiwari, soch, hum dono ki biwiyaan Tamilian hongi to kya daba ke code language mein humaari lengi, full-to vadakkan dhakkan bolengi. Aisa kar tu Marathi seekh le, humaari bhi koi common unknown language ho jayegi. Chal chhod wo waise bhi Hindi se kuch khaas alag nahi hai. Arre ekdum mast idea aaya! Hum dono na Chinese seekh lete hain kabhi na kabhi to kaam aa hi jayegi naukri mein bhi".

JK aur bolne hi wala tha ki wahin Srikant ne apne holster ko halke haathon se chhuaa

"Bhosdike tune mere 10 ginne tak bakwaas band karke Umayaal ko phone nahi lagaya to main yahin goli maar dunga tujhe.", usne kaha.

"Achha theek hai laga raha hun na bhadak kyon raha hai?"

JK ne apna mobile apni shirt ki jeb se nikala. Srikant ne muskaraate hue bina kuch kahe use kahin door jaake baat karne ka ishaara diya.

Office ke doosre kone se dheemi awaaz uthi, "Hello, UmayaaL? How are you?"

**Update: Sharib Hashmi posted this on his story and called it cute. Excuse me while I daydream about Evanna Lynch-ing into the Family Man series.**