The Quest for Glory
Ch. 1: The Announcement
One afternoon, the Loud family all sat together watching the TV. Lincoln had the remote and was flicking through the channels to see what was on…
"Boring." Lola said.
"Lame." Lana followed.
"There's nothing but trash on TV today." Luna then said as Lincoln continued to aimlessly flick through the channels.
All of them had very disinterested looks on their faces. In truth, they all wished they had better things to be doing. Usually, that was the case, as all the Louds had their hobbies, goals and pursuits they regularly did. On this day, however, their schedules were all free, and they had nothing planned.
As Lincoln continued to flick through what was on, the disinterested and demotivated moods of the Louds suddenly changed when they turned on the news channel, as a very intriguing announcement came to their attention…
"Good afternoon, Royal Woods." said a familiar local authority figure.
"Hey, it's Mayor Davis!" a surprised Rita suddenly blurted out.
"I have an exciting announcement to make! As you all know, we are nearing the time of the year when Royal Woods holds its annual Astonishing Quest! But this year, it's going to be special!" Mayor Davis enthusiastically claimed.
"*Pfft* Who cares? It's just some dumb contest. I'm not even allowed to compete, anyway." Lynn suddenly said as she and the others listened, trying to suppress her annoyance in not being allowed to partake.
"This year, the Royal Woods Astonishing Quest is being sponsored by The American Cancer Research Centre, as well as several other subsidiary charities. That's right, we are working with them to raise money for their causes through this very event. Thanks to the generous donations made by the people of Royal Woods, as well as those living in surrounding areas, we have managed to raise a million dollars!" Mayor Davis then announced.
"Wow! A million dollars!?" Lynn Sr asked in disbelief.
"In any case, this year's Astonishing Quest will be bigger and better than ever. We have funding to make the event grander than it's ever been before! Not to mention, we expect there will be more participants than usual, given the prize we are offering." the mayor then said.
"PRIZE!?" all the watching Loud family members shouted in unison.
"Of the million dollars we have raised, it will be distributed thusly. 500 thousand will be given to the various charities that have generously sponsored us. 400 thousand will go towards various local projects that are underway to improve facilities within our town." the mayor began to explain.
"Holy schmoley!" Lana and Lola blurted out in surprise.
"Wow, is she for real?!" Luan then asked as they all caught on to what the mayor was about to say.
"That means the remaining one hundred thousand dollars will go to the winning team of the Astonishing Quest! Yes, that's right, that's the winning prize!" Mayor Davis then excitedly revealed.
"WOAH!" all the Louds then cried out in shock.
"So… grab your partners, psyche yourselves up for the quest, and be ready for the adventure of your lives… next Saturday at 9am! All residents of Royal Woods are welcome to participate… well, except one, but she knows who she is. Good luck!" the mayor then concluded her announcement.
As Lynn let out an audible *Grrr* sound, the rest of the Louds were filled with ecstatic shock.
"Dudes, this is HUGE!" Luna said with excitement.
"I know! We all have the chance to win a hundred thousand dollars!" Lincoln replied.
"Yeah! Think of all the diamonds and tiaras I could buy with that kind of money!?" Lola said.
"Or all the dresses I could get with it!" Leni followed.
"I could turn Funny Business into a huge company!" Luan stated.
"That kind of dough could be just the breakthrough I need to make it big in the music business!" Luna then speculated.
"What about us? We could use that money for a lot of things. Don't get me wrong, your mother and I love you kids, but taking care of eleven is very expensive!" Lynn Sr then reminded them.
"UGH!" one of the family then muttered in frustration, souring the mood of the moment.
"Lynn, what is it?" Lincoln asked his sister, who was pouting on the sofa with her arms folded.
"I think she's mad because she can't compete in the quest. She got banned by Mayor Davis." Leni explained.
"Well, to be fair, Lynn did take it too far." Luna pointed out.
"Says you! What's wrong with a little competitive spirit?!" Lynn argued.
"With you, it's never just 'a little' competitive spirit." Lola responded.
"This bites! This is probably gonna be the biggest and best competition ever held in the history of ever… and I can't even be a part of it!" Lynn cried in anger and frustration.
"Well, maybe that will teach you for taking things too far all the time." an unsympathetic Lola told her.
"*GRUGH!*" Lynn yelled angrily before storming off out of the room.
"Well, I'll certainly be taking part. Clyde and I are going to take home the gold." Lincoln confidently said to himself.
"Think again, dude." Luna objected.
Suddenly, tension filled the room as the realisation hit all the remaining Louds present. They were family, sure, but at that moment it became apparent to all of them that they were all going to be rivals to each other in the upcoming contest.
Shortly thereafter, the Loud family members all retreated to their bedrooms, so they could make preparations for the event they all so dearly wanted to win.
Lincoln was in his bedroom, communicating with Clyde over the phone.
"Clyde, did you hear what Mayor Davis just said on the TV?!" Lincoln asked.
"Yeah! My dads and I were watching just now. Apparently, the winners of the Royal Woods Astonishing Quest are going to win a hundred thousand dollars this year!" Clyde excitedly confirmed.
"I know, that's like fifty thousand for each of us if we win! Just imagine all the things we could do with that money!" Lincoln said.
"I know, right? Think of all the video games…" Clyde began to fantasise.
"And all the Ace Savvy comic books…" Lincoln then joined in.
"Not to mention all the antiques we could collect!" Clyde then said.
"Erm, yeah, you can spend your share on that." Lincoln told him, as they didn't share that last interest.
"But aren't we getting a little carried away? I mean, it's not like we'll be the only ones entering this contest." Clyde reminded his bestie as they brought themselves back down to earth for a moment.
"Well, yeah… but we're Clincoln McCloud! We have trust and teamwork on our side! We can do it!" Lincoln assured his friend.
"Yeah, you're right." Clyde said as the words of his friend gave him a valuable boost in confidence.
"Besides, out of everyone I know, by far the biggest threat is Lynn, and I doubt she'll even be allowed to compete."
"Oh yeah, she got banned for life because of all the shenanigans she pulled in recent years." Clyde recalled.
"All we have to do is watch out for my sisters. I mean, I love them, but they sure can be little schemers!"
"Come on, buddy. Your sisters aren't that devious." Clyde stated, brushing off Lincoln's warning.
But sure enough, at that moment, devious scheming was exactly what everyone's favourite pageant princess was up to…
"Lana, take your finger out your nose! We've got planning to do!" Lola commanded her sister.
Lana initially ignored her sister and continued picking away…
"LANA! SIT!" she then furiously shouted as she made her sister sit down and obey like a pet dog.
"We need to plan to make sure we win the quest this year! If that involves rigging all the challenges in our favour, that's what we'll do!" Lola told her as she aggressively paced up and down the bedroom.
"No way, Lols! I'd rather win fair and square." Lana insisted.
"Look, Lana! This isn't like that dumb go karting race you did with Lincoln or whatever it was, where you hand-built yours and everyone else hired fancy ones… fairness and rules don't come into it! This is a hundred thousand sweet mullah's we're talking about here!" Lola reminded her partner.
"Hey, I want to win that money, too. I just don't think we need to cheat, that's all. I mean, we work well together because whatever one of us isn't good at, the other is. We have a wide skill set between us. We can do anything this quest throws at us!" Lana said.
"Maybe, but we still don't know exactly who we're going to end up against! I need to win this contest, Lana! I have so many ambitions, and this money would be the perfect stepping stone for me!" Lola claimed.
"Yeah, yeah… you're not the only one with ideas of what to spend the prize money on. I have things I wanna do with that dough if we win, too." Lana explained.
"I can imagine it now; think of all the shiny diamonds I could buy with that kind of money! Not to mention, all the professional assistants I could hire to help me win all the regional pageants! I can't hope to compete with Chinah or those other girls right now, but imagine if I had all the resources they had?!" an ambitious and ecstatic Lola stated aloud.
The other sisters were also preparing themselves for the event, such as the oldest remaining sister in the house, Leni…
"Okay… what to wear? I want to look nice while I'm winning the quest. Should I go with the elegant teal dress, or the white and red stripey dynamic dress?" Leni asked herself as she held two outfits in either hand.
"Lori, what do you… oh, right." Leni went to ask, before remembering the sad but obvious truth.
Lori was no longer there. Leni was talking to herself in the room. Lori had been more than a sister to her over the years, they were truly close friends. They did so many things together, including partner up for the Astonishing Quest in previous years.
"*Sigh* I don't even know who my partner's going to be. If Fiona and Miguel are in the quest, they'll surely go together. So will Jackie and Mandee. All my other friends will probably have partners, too. I always used to go with Lori…" Leni sadly reflected to herself.
She then got her phone and dialled her eldest sibling's number, but unfortunately, all she heard was…
"*Hi, this is Lori Loud. I can't talk right now because I'm literally super busy with my studies… please leave a message after the beep.*"
"DANG IT!" Leni angrily shouted as she threw her phone on the ground, a little uncharacteristically for her, but understandably so given how sad she was feeling.
But while Leni struggled to figure out what she was going to do and who she was going to partner up with, Luna and Luan both had particular people in mind as their teammates…
"This is gonna be so sweet, dude. Sam and I are gonna win that prize money, and then rock our way to the top!" Luna enthusiastically told herself.
"Hey, sweetcheeks! Don't get carried away. If anyone's going to win the contest, it will be braces over here and her sweet little Benny Boy!" 'Mr Coconuts' said to Luna.
"Will you cut it out, dude?!" an annoyed Luna responded as she shoved Luan's dummy out of her face.
"I'd really like to win that money. I've worked really hard to turn Funny Business into a legitimate company. This is my golden opportunity." Luan then brought up.
"To be honest, as much as I'd like to win that prize money, I'm more worried about me and Sam. Last year, we partnered up, and it was a struggle to make it to the end." Luna suddenly mentioned, altering the focus and tone of the conversation entirely.
"Luna… don't worry about that. You and Sam are cool. Besides, this year you're heading into it knowing that you don't share all the same interests. All you have to do is try and enjoy yourselves along the ride." Luan reassured her slightly insecure sister.
"You know, for someone who comes across as so immature… you sure can be smart sometimes."
"Yep." the younger sister then said smugly.
"Who are you and what have you done with Luan?!" Luna light-heartedly joked.
"You two lovers will power on through the quest like a well-oiled team engine. Ha ha ha ha ha! Get it?" Luan then joked.
"And… she's back in the room."
Lisa was also in her bedroom, planning out her strategy for winning the quest.
"Given my limited social circle, Darcy remains the most appetising available choice as my partner for this event. That being said, what she has copious amounts of, such as enthusiasm, determination and willingness to listen to my reasoning, she lacks in intelligence and wits. I expect I will need to carry our duo towards victory. To ensure that outcome transpires, I will need a secret weapon!" Lisa said to herself as she revealed a brand new invention that was sure to assist her in her quest for glory.
It was a fancy looking helmet with lots of wiring and circuitry sticking out on its exterior.
"This device is sure to guarantee my victory against the competition. With the ability to hear the thoughts of the other competitors, I will have all the advantages. I will be able to abstract ideas, and predict their movements and actions in whatever challenges we endure. The prize money shall be mine!" Lisa declared triumphantly, fully convinced her invention would eliminate any chance of defeat for her and her partner.
Lily, who was just old enough to start wearing shorts, was still too young and underdeveloped mentally to partake in the quest. She just sat there in the bedroom beside Lisa and folded her arms, giving her older sibling a disapproving frown as she did so.
"Don't look at me like that, Lily! This is no mere 'friendly' contest. The stakes are far too significant to rely solely on fair play. I am merely doing what is necessary." Lisa tried to justify, but Lily retained her frown of defiance.
"*Pfft* Fine, see if I care what you think! I'm using this helmet whether you approve of it or not!" Lisa harshly told her.
Lily then walked over to Lisa and continued to frown intensely at her. Lisa managed to maintain her stoic and unconcerned front for a moment…
…however, while Lisa was often criticised for being too distant from her emotions or for having somewhat questionable moral values, particularly in regards to how far she took her scientific pursuits… this criticism wasn't completely accurate. Lisa did have a certain sense of morality and concern for others buried deep down in her psyche. Lily, being her roommate and one of her closest sisters, knew how to raise that side of Lisa straight to the surface.
Lisa continued to try and resist Lily's disapproval as the two intensely stared at each other, but in the end, the baby won out…
"*GRUGH!* Fine. You win. I'll dispose of the device." Lisa sighed in defeat as she took off her helmet and put it down.
"Bet-tah." Lily said with her semi-developed baby speech, before smiling in gratitude towards her sister.
"Curse my underlying sentimental values." Lisa quietly said to herself in frustration, but she knew deep down that her baby sister was right, and that it would be wrong to cheat.
Lynn Sr and Rita were also preparing for the contest. Being adults as well as parents with a whole array of responsibilities and concerns, their plans for if they won the prize money were the most noble and least selfish…
"There are so many things we could do with that money. I mean, we could get a bigger house for a start! It can get a little cramped in this place sometimes. Oh, and an extra toilet. I'm sicking of waiting in line whenever I need to… erm, do a tinkle." Lynn Sr said.
"A tinkle?" a slightly amused Rita asked.
"Oh, you know what I mean! I was trying to watch my language!"
"Still, I hear you. I could also buy some new tools, the ones I've got now are starting to get a little rusty and dull." Rita stated.
"And I could hire some new staff for Lynn's Table. We've been getting a lot more customers lately and I'm going to need some new hands to help keep up with the demand. The building could do with an extension, too."
"But the most important thing is that we can provide for our kids. We've done a pretty decent job so far, considering how many of them there are… but I can't lie, it's hard to sometimes find enough money to pay for certain things that they need." Rita brought up.
"I know, right? And sometimes, I have enough to get something for one of them, but then I don't have enough left over to get something for one of the others, and I start worrying that the kids think I'm playing favourites… I hate that!" Lynn Sr then vented.
"Look, there are many things we could spend that prize money on, but I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. First of all, we need to get ready for the quest so we actually have a good chance of winning." Rita reminded her husband.
"But what if one of the kids wins this thing? Do we get the money if they win it?" Lynn then asked.
"Well, if they win the quest… technically, the money is theirs, and they have the right to do whatever they want with it. Still, I do hope they wouldn't be completely selfish and they'd spend at least some of it on the rest of the family if that happens."
"They're good kids. I think they would be generous if they did win. Surely at least a small part of it they could share with us." Lynn tried to optimistically predict.
"I mean, if we win, we'll share some of the money with them, right?" Rita then asked.
"*Pfft* What kind of parents would we be if we didn't?" Lynn Sr then joked.
The parents then shared a brief chuckle as they continued to ponder over the potential outcomes of the Astonishing Quest.
Finally, the middle children were also going about their business in their room. Strangely enough, in this scenario it was the energetic and spunky tomboy that was behaving all gloomy and down in the dumps, rather than the resident goth girl…
"If Haiku and I win, I think we'll spend some of the money on renovating the cemetery. That place hasn't been taken care of in a long time. The dead deserve more respect than that." Lucy said to herself.
Lynn then let out an angry *huff* sound as she lied on her bed and folded her arms.
"Is something wrong, Lynn?" Lucy asked her sister.
"NO!" Lynn said aggressively as she turned her head away from Lucy and lied in the opposite direction towards the wall.
"Are you still upset about not being allowed to compete in the quest?" Lucy asked.
"Ha! Lynn Loud does not get upset!" Lynn tried to deny in an effort to sound tough.
Lucy then pretended to take her sister's word for it, knowing she was lying, and continued to sit silently and read from her book of poems. She waited for Lynn to finally give in and admit her true feelings.
"It's just that… my whole life, I've been competing in every competition I could, trying to be the best. Now comes along the ultimate challenge, the greatest competition of all time… and I can't even take part! Ugh!" the little jock finally admitted, just as Lucy suspected she would.
"Why not just do what you did last year and enter the quest disguised as an old lady?" the goth asked.
"Mayor Davis will be doing some really strict checks this year to make sure nobody does that, I bet. I just can't believe it! This is like the very thing my life has been leading up to, and I can't even compete! This bites, hard!" Lynn said frustratingly.
Well, this is for charity. Maybe you can offer to share the prize money with all the sponsored charities if you win. That might convince Mayor Davis to let you compete." Lucy suggested.
"What?! No way, if I win that money, it's mine! Fair and square." Lynn argued.
"Fine. I guess you're just going to have to choose. What's more important to you? The money, or the chance to participate in the biggest competition of all time?" Lucy asked her sister.
Lynn then sat back on her bed for a moment and thought about it. She would love the money, but it seemed like she just couldn't have both. It appeared her years of taking competitions too seriously and being so excessively aggressive with others were finally coming back to claim vengeance on her.
But she couldn't just give up without a fight. At that moment, she decided…
"Okay, Lucy, you make a pretty good point. If that's what it takes, I'll even sacrifice the prize money. I just want to be a part of this thing!" a determined Lynn then sat up and said out loud.
Of course, the Louds were far from the only ones to hear about the quest. All around Royal Woods, its local citizens were preparing for the contest in their own ways.
The next door neighbour, Mr Grouse, feeling that his old and worn out body was going to be his Achilles heel in this contest, was trying to get himself into better shape. He was, rather uncharacteristically for him, doing sit ups on the front lawn.
"Three… *poof* Four… *hmpf* Five…" he said to himself, physically struggling as he tried to push his limitations.
Elsewhere, Pop Pop and Myrtle were also preparing for the quest. Being in much better shape than Mr Grouse, Pop Pop was inside a gymnasium lifting a very respectable amount of weight for a man his age. He was performing a bench press exercise while Myrtle stood by and made sure she was ready to grab the weight if Pop Pop overdid it and dropped the barbell.
Not that her presence was really necessary. She just stood there in amazement as her man handled the weight with ease.
But physical strength and athleticism were far from the only things the participants of the Astonishing Quest were going to need. Principal Huggins knew that, as he was currently working on his general knowledge as Cheryl fed him questions.
"Okay, you're doing well. 8 out of 11 questions right so far. Now, what is the tallest building in the world?"
"Erm… of course! The Empire State Building!" he answered confidently.
"Sorry, sir. The answer is the Burj Khalifa." she corrected him.
"D'oh! I knew that, too." he said to himself, annoyed by his blunder.
"Okay, next question. What is the capital of Iceland?"
"Oh, I swear you're doing this just to get me riled up!" Huggins barked in frustration, trying to divert the blame towards his assistant rather than accept his knowledge wasn't perfect.
All across Royal Woods, preparation was taking place. Many people were fine tuning the skills they had. For example, Sam was working on her rock climbing skills, impressing the other climbers present with how fast she could make it to the top, while Benny was playing chess with a stranger in the park… and handing his butt to him.
"Checkmate." Benny said smugly, angering the older player he was battling with.
"*GRUGH!*" shouted the defeated opponent as he picked up and threw the board on the floor before storming off.
But while some people were further improving the skills they already had, some people were trying out new things, in the hope of widening their range of abilities. For example, Dexter the clumsy nerd was trying his luck at archery… with less than ideal results.
"Okay… easy…" he said to himself nervously as he tried to aim the arrow at the target in the distance.
*Swoosh*
The arrow was launched, but it didn't land anywhere near its intended target. Instead…
"*Eek*"
The arrow landed on a tree that was positioned just behind a man walking past. Fortunately, the arrow flew high enough that it only pierced through the top hat he was wearing. Even so, it was rather scary to think how close Dexter came to shooting someone in the face…
"Sorry!" Dexter shouted awkwardly to the man, apologetic for almost hitting him.
"Watch where you aim that thing, kid!"
Indeed, many people were practicing many things in preparation for the Astonishing Quest. Nobody knew exactly what to expect or what hurdles they would need to overcome in advance. As such, people could only guess and speculate what the challenges would be, and what skills they would need to overcome them while also beating the other challengers.
But for all the competitive spirit that was on display in the lead-up to the quest, not everyone's was noble or fair. In fact, some people had quite sinister intentions for this event…
One source of sinister intention came from the thuggish duo of Hank and Hawk. They were walking down the street when they saw a poster stuck to a streetlight that advertised the quest. Not being big news watchers, this was the first they saw or heard about it.
"Hey, what's that?" Hank asked as he grabbed the poster.
"Royal Woods Astonishing Quest… Winning Team Receives…" Hawk then began to read.
"ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!?" the two jocks then shouted in unison, shocked by what they just read.
The two bullies then both emitted a sinister smile as they looked at each other menacingly. They had some very ill intentions for how they were going to claim that money.
But Hank and Hawk were far from the biggest threat to the contest. After having seen the advertisement on TV, the villainous Miller family were plotting and scheming, intent on winning the quest and the money by any means necessary.
"This is perfect! For a while now, we've been so close to finishing the device that will destroy all the world's cherries, but we've been short by just fifty thousand bucks!" Jeff said.
"Yeah, and now if we win this quest, we'll get double that amount of money!" Carly said excitedly.
"You mean WHEN we win, mom." Ryan cockily corrected.
"Well, actually, we'll just be getting the fifty, which is still enough for what we need." Jeff stated.
"Huh?" Carly replied.
"Why?" Ryan asked.
"Well, the thing is… your mother and I aren't competing in this quest. You are, son."
"What!?" the other two Miller's questioned.
"Why me?" Ryan then followed.
"Because I believe you're our best chance of winning. Besides, I've hired you the ideal partner!" Jeff explained.
The father of the Miller family wasn't kidding either, as elsewhere, Dr. Linnaeus of Incognito Labs was also getting ready for her involvement in the quest.
"The Miller's made an excellent choice to come to us with their proposal for this 'quest' they heard about. With subject 927 competing for us, we're sure to win this contest, and then we can split the prize money 50-50! That will give me the funding I need to advance my scientific pursuits fourfold!" the corrupt doctor declared.
Accompanied by two henchmen, the doctor then made her way to a room with the sign '927' marked on the door. After opening the door, she spoke to her prestigious 'subject'…
"927, are you ready?" the doctor asked.
"I was born ready!"
Author's Footnote:
Well, here we go again. After I finished my year long project It's a Kid's World in 2020, I've now returned with a new story. However, it is important to clarify this has no connection with any of my previous stories, and operates under its own canon.
As far as its place within the show's timeline goes, it takes place during and/or after season five (though to be fair, I suppose it doesn't really matter since The Loud House has never been that big on continuity anyway, at least not until the more recent seasons). Which means this is the Astonishing Quest the year after the one that took place in Racing Hearts. I won't confirm that it takes place after all of season five at this time since I don't know what's going to happen in the rest of this season (in fact, I've heard there's an upcoming episode about Leni and Mayor Davis, which could naturally make some of the details in this story obsolete, although I highly doubt Leni will succeed her as the mayor of the town in that episode, but we'll see how that goes anyway).
As things stand, I plan to upload each new chapter on a weekly basis, with a possible month long gap once we reach the halfway point of the story (and for information on length, this story is planned to be 20 chapters long, but that could change as time goes on). However, this scheduling plan may change over time depending on what rate I make progress with the writing process for this story.
Anyway, it's good to be back. Check back next week for the second chapter.