Denial Of A God
Author: Catlover51
Genre:Angst, Romance, Tragedy
Summary: Light Yagami never loved anyone. Especially not L.
Warnings: Mentions of Death, Explicit Language
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that are in Death Note.
Author's Note:
Ah yes, dear readers it's another fic about Light's denial of feelings. For all your Light's denial of feelings fic needs.
Light Yagami is perfect. That is a fact, a statement no matter how you look at it will always be true. Similarly, to how the sky is blue and that is never going to change. Ask anyone who has ever met Light Yagami, they would confirm that Light is perfect in every way. A honor student since he was only a child, Light was often praised for his vast amount of intelligence and his strong sense of justice that he got from his father.
And for a long time that's what Light thought too. Until he met L.
Light have always been able to separate his emotions from his logic, so when he picked up the Death Note. He was able to look at aspects of life objectively; and objectively criminals and many suspects that are deemed to be innocent in court makes the innocent people who help the world everyday suffer. In all likeness they clearly need to be removed from the world, and if they would not be removed by the Justice System... Kira must take measures into his own hands and use the Death Note, a death god's power, to inflict divine punishment on those who are unworthy of life.
Light has always been able to rely on his logical thinking. Yet, somehow, L managed to make him unable to think logically. Whenever he is around L it makes his heart elevated to his throat, he feels sweaty all around and burning fury simmered in his stomach.
Light always told himself it was merely the symptom of loathing. Because to think of this, agreeably, most passionate of emotion he has ever felt as love is just simply preposterous!
Light Yagami does not love anyone, that makes him weak and imperfect. It makes him no better than a pawn, like Misa, who split her own lifespan twice and traded it away for a chemical reaction in the brain nerves; Takada, who would follow every single word of his like it's gospel.
They are both weak because they thought their love was worth something to him, and let their emotions dictate how they act. Light is perfect because he never yielded to the relentless tide of this inconsequential brain reaction, he has conquered his feelings and locked it away in a coffin. So, why does he feel so empty?
Light Yagami doesn't love L. He doesn't love how L was his only equal and knew him more than he know himself; he doesn't love L's smile and how it made his heart flutter; he doesn't love L.
Still, if he could have L for a moment more, he wouldn't object to it. And maybe that makes him weak, but as long as no one knows he visited L's grave for something less than gloating; as long as no one knows that sometimes the God Of the New World would mourn his solely worthy adversary; as long as no one knows he's weak.
It's okay.