I am Rika Furude. Or rather, that's what my name used to be before becoming a witch.

A. Witch.

Unlike Humans, we're beings of unlimited power who transcend the limitations of things such as gravity and fate. We exist on a higher plane inaccessible by Humans, only leaving when to appease our boredom.

Not all witches are equal, though. There are Territory Lords, witches who control a specific realm, their territory. They'll weave all kinds of tales.

Voyager Witches, such as myself, are witches capable of leaving a territory under their power. Usually, it's just to visit other territories to find a tale to satisfy the eternal boredom.

Then there are Creators. Witches who have freed themselves from all restrictions, but it's in exchange for losing everything. The very concept of "meaning" and "existence" cease to matter. My master is one such witch.

Boredom is an end for all witches. Life and death do not apply to us, but to be bored is to die, and to die is to cease thought.

That's why we do it, because experiencing the depths of oblivion is a hell nobody wants.

Then there are "Logic Errors", another hell that only happens when a mistake is called out. As long as such a thing is not contradicted or incomplete, it can be avoided. When it happens though, the being who caused it is doomed to an endless cycle in attempts to solve it.

Imagine having to randomly hit keys on a type writer for an infinite amount of time until you got an answer. That's what it could be like, or it was for me at least.

Why does any of this matter? Because at some point, all witches are subjected to it. I've seen the depths of oblivion, multiple times, all because of my sadistic master, the Witch of Theatergoing.

And I hate her. The things she's forced onto me are indescribable, and it only gets worse as time goes on. My master only likes me because as her Miko, I keep her entertainment, and she's commented that no other Miko has endured as far as I have. One day, I'll become like her, a sadistic, cruel monster.

I don't know if it was a plan created by her, or some sort of predetermined fate. The only related thing and what I can remember as Rika, was a horned girl helping me, who in many ways reminds me of the Theatergoing Witch.

She was in a way responsible for my creation; that I know. Since I was "born" from Rika Furude, I could be considered her, but I'm not.

I'm the culmination of all her negative experiences. Every time she died, a new piece is added to me, furthering my despair

I'm what's left.

I'm her failure.

Her hatred.

Frederica Bernkastel, the Witch of Nothing.

Or maybe Rika decided to give up and became a witch. Became me. I have her memories, but I don't remember all of them, just pieces

If I had to bet though, it would be on her being dead. Why? Because miracles don't exist.

1983 Hinimizawa, flashback

I look at Keiichi-kun. He realized his sin; he remembered. Something like this should be impossible, but he did. As he continues sobbing, I pat him on the head.

He opens his eyes to look at me, eyes filled with tears.

"... I forgive you, Keiichi-Kun."

Keiichi-Kun thinks he doesn't deserve my comfort, but he does. Miracles exist. My friend is proof of this.

Now, sitting across from me is another witch, my opponent. Her name is Lambdadelta, the Witch of Certainty

Lambadelta is dressed in a pink dress and hat, adorned by multiple red bow-ties and a sort of "badge" in the shape of a carved pumpkin. She wears pink shoes with striped stockings, and black gloves go up to her elbows.

If she wasn't wearing that ridiculous thing, I'd probably mistake her for a friend from another life.

School, flashback

It was another day at school. We were in P.E at the school yard, having been allowed to do anything we want as long as it involved physical activities.

From where I was hiding, I saw my friends chasing each other in a game of zombie tag. I was in a good spot to hide from them, being in between two sheds owned by the forest services.

It was too good, and Hanyuu wasn't here for me to talk to. Eventually growing tired of watching them, I left my spot to go somewhere else, keeping close to the broken machinery to avoid detection.

On my right side, just out of my field of vision, I spotted Satoko-chan. She was doing something. Was she infected? No, that'd be a stupid move for the Trapmaster to expose herself like that.

She spotted me, most likely from the noise I was making, which was close enough for her to hear. I was like a deer in the headlights, so I do something I've done tens of thousands of time, switch to my facade.

"Mii, what are you doing, Satoko-chan?"

Glancing to her side, she looked at me with a smirk and with eyes that belonged to someone about to commit something.

"Oh oh oh oh! I'm finishing a trap that'll allow me to easily win this game of zombie tag. That's of course if you're not already infected, Rika-chan."

Oh. She was building a trap, to win of course she was. After all these loops, I could never figure out the unpredictability of her trap motives. Even if Satoko's traps killed people in previous fragments, it wasn't her fault. Satoko is still my best friend for a reason.

Lambdadeltafinally noticed my stare.

"Oh? Has Bern here finally decided to play?" She says to me.

"Don't call me that," I tell her with an impassive face.

"But that's your name. It is Bern. Right? Right?"

It doesn't matter. Just as myself, my name is irrelevant. At least stop talking so much, especially in an upbeat voice like that.

"I, the Great Lambdadelta, have even allowed you to use the name 'Lambda' to call me by; that's a privilege in itself! So your name is Bern!" The witch declared.

Silence.

"Well, if you still don't have a strategy, I don't mind staying here for a couple of centuries. That's nothing for a witch! But you could barely survive 100 years, so a baby witch like you needs to move quickly." Lambdadelta said in a mocking tone.

I almost crack from that. Those weren't just 100 years, it was an eternity of hell. Repeating the same events hundreds of millions of times, all of them ending in failure no matter what I did. The agony of other witches is tiny compared to what I've suffered, and my master knows this. That's why I'm her Miko

This is the self-proclaimed "strongest witch in the universe," Lambdadelta. What a joke, this entire game is a joke. If she says one more thing—

"Hehe. You know, I've heard from people that your master has to torture you to make you listen. Guess that does make you a witch, a witch of nothing." She laughed.

Laughed.

I've had enough of this. If Lambdadelta wants to play. Fine, I'll play. The strongest witch in the universe will be crushed, humiliated, and torn apart by me.

Getting up from my seat, I levitated over towards Lambdadelta, looming over her in the air with a sadistic smile plastered on my face.

"Okay, let's play. I'll enjoy annihilating you, and once I win, you'll be slowly cut into pieces and fed to my kitties. You won't win. You'll never get a chance. The certainty for a miracle is zero."

Her shocked face amuses me. I'll enjoy ripping out her guts. Maybe after I'm done ripping her to pieces, I'll stitch back together my sweet Lambda, just so that she can suffer again.

What little left of Rika Furude is gone now, and Bernkastel, the Witch of Miracles, was truly born today.

AN: Yeah, this wasn't that long, I just wanted to practice writing in first person, so sorry if the text is strange. This is kind of what I see Bern as before she was in Umineko, and before fighting Lambdade. Still gloomy, but somewhat latching onto her time as Rika.