This is a parody of Duel House by Sunblast X, who gave me the greenlight to do an abridged version of his fic. Go read the original fic by him before coming to read this.

This fic is written before a live studio audience.

[The Loud Residence]

Lincoln: Ah, nothing like a nice relaxing video game after a hard day of school. (Plays a very violent game with the volume on full blast)

Ding dong.

Lincoln: I wonder who that could be.

He opens the door.

Lincoln: Oh hey its Ronnie Anne, how's the spinoff going.

Ronnie Anne: Eh, its fine. Anyway I have something important to ask you.

Lincoln: Well we're a little young, but of course I'll marry you.

Ronnie Anne: It's not about that.

Lincoln: Oh.

Ronnie Anne: My parents wanted to me to invite you for dinner tonight.

Lincoln: Do I have too?

Ronnie Anne: If you want to be my boyfriend then yes, its my parents' order.

Lincoln: Fine, at least I'll be able to eat seconds.

[At the Santiago's Royal Woods home]

Lincoln's mind: Okay Lincoln, this is easy. You're an eleven year old white boy meeting the parents of your eleven year old Latina girlfriend...…. I'm screwed.

Knock, knock.

Bobby: Hey Link, Ronnie Anne's getting ready.

Ronnie Anne: Sup Lame-O.

Lincoln: Wow, you look even more beautiful than usual.

Ronnie Anne: Yeah, I had to change since my original outfit wouldn't have gotten pats the censors.

Enter Mr. Santiago.

Lincoln: Why it's nice to meet you Mr. Santiago.

Mr. Santiago: I'm gonna kill you.

Lincoln:...… okay.

[Dinner]

Lincoln: These tacos were amazing Mrs. Santiago.

Maria: Why thanks, Lincoln.

Lincoln: So anyway, is it okay if-

Mr. Santiago: No.

Ronnie Anne: Dad!

Maria: Honey.

Mr. Santiago: Unless you can beat me in a card game.

Lincoln: What card game? Go Fish? UNO?

Mr. Santiago: Duel Monsters!

Lincoln: Big mistake.

[Lincoln's room]

Lana: Are you sure you can beat Ronnie Anne's dad? Your entire future with her is at stake.

Lincoln: I'm not too worried, after all I have what ever Yu-Gi-Oh protagonist has.

Lana: Weird hair?

Lincoln: No, faith in the heart of the cards.

Lana: Well I hope you know what you're doing.

[The card game]

Lincoln: I'm glad my family's come to support me in my duel for against Ronnie Anne's dad.

Lynn: Can I go home? Card games are lame!

Rita: Now honey, what's the number one rule of the Loud House?

Lynn: Don't interrupt happy time?

Rita: Okay, the number two rule, Louds always stick together and always have each other's back.

Lori: Didn't you guys kick Lincoln out of the house during the bad luck episode in season 2?

Lynn Sr.: I thought we agreed to never speak of that again!

Ronnie Anne: Good luck Lincoln.

Lisa: Me and my family would prefer if you not use that exact 'L' word, it brings back memories we have long regretted. Except for Lynn.

Lynn: HEY!

Lori: Boo Boo Bear, is this really necessary?

Bobby: Its the Santiago tradition for a boy to beat the head Santiago in a card game if they want to date the women in our familia.

Lori: Well that's sounds lame.

Mr. Santiago: No amount of luck will save you Lincoln, I've never lost a card game in my life.

Lincoln: Well that's about to change, once I beat you and prove that I am more than worthy of being Ronnie Anne's girlfriend. I'll start by summoning Shining Angel!

Leni: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! A REAL MONSTER!

Lisa: For the thousandth time Leni, its a hologram created to enhance the experience of playing Duel Monsters.

Leni: I still don't get it.

Lola: Who would waste such time and money for something like that?

Lincoln: I got you now... um I'm sorry what's your first name? Mr. Santiago is a little long and-

Mr. Santiago: Look kid, I'm just a chapter character created in a fanfiction. Sunblast didn't even give me a first name, even if he did you won't be able to hear it when my Knight attacks your angel!

Lincoln: No less my Wulf takes the brunt of the attack!

Illumiknight attacks Celestia, but Wulf leaps in front of the attack.

Luna: Dude, why would Lincoln do that? He lost more life points than he would have if his angel was attacked.

Lucy: Because Wulf blocking for Celestia is a metaphor for Lincoln blocking Ronnie Anne.

Girls: Awe.

Mr. Santiago: Your symbolism is no match for my three Blue Eyes White Dragons, and their alternate Kevin the Blue Eyes White Dragon.

Lincoln: Wait did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?

Mr. Santiago: Yeah so?

Lincoln: That's against the rules isn't it?

Mr. Santiago: Where I'm from the rules can go straight to hell, now play your last pathetic card so I can go home while my daughter can be alone forever.

Lincoln: My deck doesn't have any pathetic cards Santiago, except for Kuriboh. And your daughter wont be alone forever because I play her card Gift of the Martyr to give my Archer the power to defeat you.

Archer attacks the Santiago patriarch's monster.

Mr. Santiago: Curses, lost a children's card game to a child. The single most humiliating thing to ever happen to a man.

Ronnie Anne: Lincoln you won!

Lincoln: Yep, now we can finally date, even though the writers of the Loud House stupidly scrapped our entire romance arc for the rest of the Loud House runtime.

Ronnie Anne: Shut up and kiss me.

The two kiss.

Mr. Santiago: I may not like you Lincoln, but since you make my daughter happy I suppose I could try and tolerate you.

Lincoln: Oh thanks Mr-

Mr. Santiago: Break her heart and I'll rip your head off.

Lincoln:... noted.