The vault key was charging and the vault hunters were on their way to stop it. "Those child killing psychopaths are right on time." I thought as I sat in my office up on Helios watching the vault hunters progress as they cut down the few dozen hyperion personnel that I had stationed there to try and kill the vault hunters. I walked over to the fast travel station in my office as they were getting close to the key and that red headed bimbo Lilith. I teleported to the computer near Lilith and turned to look at the bastards who killed my Angel. "Hey you're right on time - key's nearly ready! But before I cleanse this planet for good. I'm gonna avenge my daughter!" I turned my cloaking pocket watch on as I said the last sentence. Then I shot them, they shot me, they shot me a lot. I was covered in blood as I stumbled back towards the vault key. "That it? HUH?" I asked before I heard the sound of stone hitting stone. I turned my head slightly to see that the vault key was charged and to verify it for me Lilith shouted. "No! The key's charged!"
I grinned as I stood up and pulled the vault key down while I told the vault hunters that I wasn't dying yet. As the key fell into its place a shockwave of energy knocked me over and on the other side of the key Lilith fell to the ground. As I got up I spoke to the vault hunters, "You're too late bandits… I WIN! HA HA. The greatest alien power Pandora has ever seen - and it's MINE to control." Out of the lava behind the giant vault symbol came a huge stone creature. It had a long snout and what looked like lava coming out of the cracks of its body, this was the warrior and I had a job for it. "WARRIOR. KILL." The warrior fought the vault hunters and somehow they managed to beat it until it collapsed then they had a moonshot cannon fire at its head causing it to explode like that Peirce lady's head.
I stood up and put pressure on some of my wounds, standing right before me were all six of the vault hunters covered in scratches, bullet wounds, and bruises but still very much alive. "No, no, no... I can't die like this... Not when I'm so close... And not at the hands of a filthy bandit! I could have saved this planet! I could have actually restored order! And I wasn't supposed to die by the hands... of a CHILD KILLING PSYCHOPATH! You're a savage! You're a maniac, you are a bandit, AND I AM THE GODDAMN HERO!" Lilith spoke up telling the vault hunters to kill me or let her do it. At this point I had accepted my defeat. I couldn't run, I couldn't fight, all I could do was talk and I already did that. Suddenly I heard a voice in my head "My divine, beautiful, and powerful familiar! I wish and assert from the bottom of my heart, answer my guidance!" While right now I didn't seem like any of these but in Opportunity I'm divine and my name is Handsome Jack and I summoned the most powerful alien creature on Pandora so I was powerful. As Lilith grabbed me by my neck I thought to the voice "Ok, I'll do it, let's go, HURRY UP JACK OFF!" Lilith's tattoos started glowing red as she held me in the air. Suddenly a flash of green surrounded me and I couldn't feel Lilith's hand on my neck. The next thing I knew I fell and hit soft grass as the sun shined brightly in my face, I smiled "Take that bitch.".